Twit

Faithful Reader Karen sent me these lovely photos of me at Halloween in 1992. Her brother had this annual Halloween party that was to die for. In case you can't figure it out, I was Madonna. And also Dignified.

Madoga

That is my pal Sleeping Beauty's boyfriend at the time, helping himself to one of my cones. He was dressed as a TV dinner.

Madonnasucks

I'm certain everyone at the party was happy to have me LOUNGE across their coats like that.

You know what depresses me about these photos? Other than the part where I have no pride? MY TAUT SKIN. Look at it! No sags! No Panama Canal wrinkle in my forehead. Just tight tight tight skin. I was 27. I was a month away from moving away from Michigan, to Seattle.

Oh, well. Time marches on.

And speaking of time marching on, I have gotten on Twitter. I didn't even mean to. I was reading Dooce today, and she did this fabulous thing where her brand new, 8 million dollar washer broke, and even though she had a warranty they gave her a hard time about fixing it, and she has a NEWBORN which apparently requires a lot of laundry (which, why? Do they have a lot of wardrobe changes during the day? Are they all mini divas?) and anyway, she got on Twitter, where she has over a million followers, and once she complained, voila! Maytag finally fixed her machine.

Seriously? The longest sentence I ever wrote.

So all I wanted to do was go on and see her twits or tweets or twittererings or whatever and I thought I was just signing in and the next time I came to my computer I had 8,930 messages saying "So-and-so is following you on Twitter!" to which I say, why are so many of you named so-and-so?

So (and s0), I guess I have to start twatting or whatev on a regular basis, except between the hours of 7:30 to 5:30, because you KNOW my work won't let me on that Twitter. They won't let me on RESTAURANT sites, because I guess God forbid I might want to order lunch ahead so I can get back to the office quicker. So, yeah. I will be twitfree at work.

Maybe I should learn the Twitty verbiage as well, you think?

0 thoughts on “Twit

  1. I love the first Madonna picture. You look like a midget with no arms. It took me a little bit it figure it out. I’m just saying you have another career choice if proofreading doesn’t pan out for you! Ha Ha!!

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  2. You made a great Madonna!
    The problem with newborn laundry is that they spit up or poop leaks onto their clothes and you have to change outfits about 10 times a day. I do not blame Dooce one bit for using her influence to get her washer fixed!

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  3. I thought the link on my left-side column would be enough to stampede right to me. Isn’t it? Anyway, it’s JuneGardens. But first it was my real name and I switched it so maybe I confused Twitter. Maybe they’re all atwitter. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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  4. Can’t wait to tweet with you. But please never refer to it as twatting – that is something entirely different and I don’t think I want to do that with you. Ever.

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  5. Ok, you HAVE to grace us with a montage of all your previous Halloween costumes. Please? I am also thinking that all of us readers need to have a Dress-Up-As-June day. I mean, June BEFORE the Chi. I have not managed to figure mine out yet.

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  6. Got a message during church that you were following me on Twitter. I was thrilled you have joined. Lord knows that between the blog, FB and now Twitter I will still not have enough June Gardens in my day!

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  7. Culpepper, did the minister announce it or was it in the bulletin, or what? Oh! Did the choir sing it to you?
    Because TELL ME you were not checking your internet at CHURCH.

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  8. L.Strange (are you related to Belatrix LaStrange?),
    I don’t understand it either? Is it a phone thing? Is it free? Where to begin? Glad I’m not alone.

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  9. 1 – you followed me and I followed you back, so WHO’S THE STALKER NOW, HUH?
    2 – you can tweet from your cell phone and keep us all abreast of your daily work activities. I for one would be enthralled
    3 – please answer sleeping beauty asap, I really want to know what you were doing with her boyfriend
    4 – I said abreast, hahahahaha

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  10. 1. “Twat.” I love it.
    2. I forgot my Twitter password over the summer, so I was unable to twat once. Clearly, this did not result in the death of civilization as we know it.
    3. I read dooce’s post . . . I had a similar washing machine debacle back in May/June. I remember weeping uncontrollably when the Washer Repair Dude stood me up for two weeks (leaving me a hostage in my home waiting) and later wanting to put my head in the oven when they delivered a plain ol’ washer and NOT a washer/dryer combo (like what I originally had). It was such a stupid thing to get worked up over, but when you have a cat poo on the bathroom rug, you need a washer!

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  11. Ok, I was actually thinking yesterday about 1992 and Madonna and the snow cone bra. I don’t know if it was SNL or In Living Color or what but they did a skit with a jingle that went “It’s Madonna Snow Cones…” I actually walked around singing it all day yesterday.
    Random. Does anyone else remember that or am I the only one?

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  12. Note to self: Do not read June’s blog while cuddling your seven-year-old daughter on your lap. Posts like this one will come up, and, make no mistake, there will be questions. LOTS of questions. And not very many answers.

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  13. I love Twitter. I get to tell the world everything I do without the faff of running a real blog. Genius. I’m also allowed to use it at work because we use it as a marketing tool (not that I work in marketing, I meant “we” as a company). So far the only blocked website I’ve come across was a mail-order wine company. Because it’s okay to browse Amazon and supermarket websites at work but God forbid we order wine from a specialist supplier; that would be bad.

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  14. Dear June’s site meter…..I am so sorry I opened this post YESTERDAY and left it open for 3000 hours. Am slow reader some days.
    Here is what my twats would look like: am changing poopy diaper…again.
    Lather, rinse, repeat.

    Like

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