June's stupid life, My pets

Casey Chase-em

by June

I have the feeling Tallulah must be humping Winston again, seeing as Marvin is in there yelling, "TALU! Put it back in your pants!"

Speaking of our pets, and those of us in the pet world (okay, whoever guesses what that phrase is from gets a fabulous gift from June. And you know how fabulous my fabulous gifts are), I saw something cute this morning that I cannot share with you.

I walked into the dining room and Tallulah was sitting like a sphinx. Really, wouldn't it be like THE Sphinx? I mean, there's only one, right? Anyway, she was sittin' all Sphinxlike. And clear down the hallway, Henry was sitting exactly the same way, and they were having a staredown.

Naturally I stampeded for my camera, because I can never just have a moment anymore without having to record it for posterity, or prosperity, and here is Tallulah in her pose:

Sphinx

Now imagine Henry 50 feet away, doing the same thing. And you're gonna HAVE to imagine it, because as soon as I pointed my camera Henry's way, Lula tore after her and I recorded this for perpetuity:

Chase

It's really kind of a good action shot, though. Henry in mid-turn, Lu's ears flying back, head low, seeking her prey. Very Wild Kingdom. Wild King Dons. Does anyone remember when Ding Dongs were King Dons for awhile? Why?

It occurs to me that Ruby has been dead five months now, and maybe we could put the rug back down in the hallway, seeing as her ghost probably can't pee on it. It looked nice down there. It was Oriental. Isn't it racist to say Oriental now? Are we supposed to call them Asian rugs? Advice, please.

Also, is everybody ready for Barry Gibb's birthday today, September 1? He is 63. It is also his wedding anniversary, and he has been married 39 years. Of course, I don't need to tell you that. It's all common knowledge.

And I forgot to tell the legions of you inexplicably on Team Francis that this weekend was his birthday and I am sorry to tell you his vet sent him the cutest e-card ever. You KNOW his vet hates him. So it was a particularly nice gesture.

Oh, and thanks for everyone's iPod suggestions. I showed them to Marvin and he said, "How are you gonna get those songs?" Okay, SAME WAY YOU GOT YOUR 10,000 SONGS, BUB! Don't get all cheap on me now, Casey Kasem!

Put it back in your pants, Marvin.

53 thoughts on “Casey Chase-em”

  1. We can’t get Ding Dongs in Canada – they are King Dons. So there you go – clearly for a time the Ding Dong demand was too great in the USA and Canada had to meet the supply from our own stash. Or perhaps the segregation between King Don and Ding Dong is a sad commentary on the free trade agreement’s effectiveness.

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  3. Wow, I have the same birthday as Barry Gibb! And Lily Tomlin. I rock. 🙂 But not as much as June. Or Henry. Go Team Henry!

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  4. I remembered right away, Junie! Overzealous dog walker’s comment to you about the food you were feeding our Lula girl!
    Also, it was my anniversary on the 1st of September! We celebrated our 7th yesterday! I’m actually sitting in our hotel room with the dogs whilst hubby is at the spa getting a massage! We are in a lovely spot, a small lake off of Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire. Lovely!
    So, happy birthday and anniversary to Barry from a same-anniversary fan!

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  6. I vaguely recall the King Dons, and I don’t know WHY they were called that? I loved Ho-hos, and my grandma would freeze them and slice them up into little pieces for us as a snack… there’s a blast from the past.
    Yes, “Oriental” is not the PC term any longer, it is Asian. I’m married to a half-Asian, and he likes to refer to himself as the “Jap Bastard” (which is really not correct, since his father and mother were actually married when he was born, but hey, it is his own nickname, who am I to argue?) But yep, you are right – nix the Oriental, it is only for rugs and various and sundry other items, not for people! 🙂 Tell Marvin it is YOUR turn with the music, I’m sure he has spent THOUSANDS of dollars on his music, the Clash and such, so he needs to chill and let June have her turn.
    PS: One should not post comment after 3+ glasses of the red wine, but it IS more humorous this way! Cheers!!

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  7. A long time ago I was the General Manager of a private resort out in CA. Our security people had confiscated a skateboard from a young man who was running down the very narrow, very steep drives between cottages in violation of the membership rules. He came to me to complain that he was being picked on solely because he was Chinese and that we were all racists. I pointed out to him that my son was married to a Japanese woman, that my best friend was Chinese and that I had many oriental friends. He lit up and said, “That’s another thing. We Asians don’t like it when you white guys call us oriental.” I replied, “Have you ever thought that we don’t like it when you Asians call us white guys?” He couldn’t see the disconnect.

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  8. I think, b/c I am pushy this way, that I will try to friend you on FB and then I can email that little video right to your inbox. Won’t that be nice?
    Also, b/c I”m full of suggestions..do you read The Meanest Mom blog? – She is holding a Miss Chronic Disease Pageant this week – readers get to vote. Thought you might like it, as I know you enjoy a good symptom-run through. You just might have to update your weekly diease sidebar, if you’re lucky.

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  9. June – I’m sure you have, but have you seen the Jimmy Fallon spoof of Barry Gibb on SNL? It’s is so funny – I have you-tubed it many-a-time. Justin Timberlake plays Robin Gibb and Jimmy F plays Barry. It’s a HOOT!
    Then, while you are on you tube, look up Justin Timberlake’s sketch about coming to America as an immigrant (“An Immigrant’s Tale”).
    I spend a lot of time on you-tube. Perhaps this is why my job hunt isn’t going so well. I can’t put that on my resume, realistically.

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  10. Kellyeee, you are correct, but Faithful Reader Molly guessed it earlier today. Okay, that was really obscure and I am shock, SHOCKED that anyone got it.
    Stupid dog walker.
    And yeah! Barry Gibb! Thirty-nine years. Plus, he was on Howard Stern once and said he’d never cheated on his wife.

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  11. The line about people in the pet world was stated by your former, snobby dog walker.
    Barry Gibb has been married 39 years? I know this is shallow, but he doesn’t look like the married-to-one-woman-for-a-long-time kind of guy.

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  13. I tell my mom she can’t say Orientals anymore b/c it’s NOT the Orient anymore. Just like Siam is no longer. Or the USSR. You know people still have globes in their homes with this outdated information.
    And that information about the Ding Dongs was too much. What do you suppose the employees told people? I work for the Ding Dang King Kong Ring Ding factory? I just wish they still came wrapped in foil.

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  14. Is it just me or does this entire post remind anyone else of the “Down There Song” from the Planned Parenthood website. An absolute hoot and a learning experience for all you old people if you haven’t heard it yet…cuz I ain’t old!

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  17. My first reaction to the quote was Ace Ventura…
    And the only reason to get married on your husband’s birthday is so your husband MIGHT remember it’s an important day and take you out to dinner to celebrate (not that I know this from personal experience, of course… our wedding anniversary is 6 days AFTER his birthday…)

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  19. Ding Dong shming dong. I want a Snow Ball, in all of its hot pink coconut-flaked, rubbery meringue, stale chocolate-cake, goopy transfat-center glory. (Did I get the punctuation right, June?)

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  24. OMG, I LOVE Ding Dongs!! And I barely remember them as King Dons. I was also confused when/why it switched….thanks Amy!
    Yeah, and there’s a ding-dang Hostess Bakery Outlet right by my house that I want to go visit now… darn it! 🙂

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  25. Katie, though I have never been to Boston, and am not a big fan of any other driver besides myself, I am wondering if maybe you ought to stay away from ALL sugar…and caffeine…and sniper rifles…

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  27. I have not Googled to confirm this, so take it as any other bit of Internet “knowledge”, but I believe there is/was/were more than one sphinx. Way back when my daughter was in first or second grade we studied Egypt in our home school, and as part of our studies we read a book about several of the more famous pharoahs. (Phamous Pharaoahs looks better.)
    Anyway, there was a female Pharaoah named Hatshepsut, and I specifically remember that she had some special girlie sphynxes made for herself out of pink granite.
    So, maybe it was a standard pharaoh thing? One sphynx per pharaoh?

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  28. I know, June. I had visions of ridiculously coiffed snack cakes when I read my sleepy typing. I started to call it Don King’s Kong or King Kong’s Ding Dong, but I was afraid nobody else would get me. Tee Hee. Naughty.

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  29. I know, June. I had visions of ridiculously coiffed snack cakes when I read my sleepy typing. I started to call it Don King’s Kong or King Kong’s Ding Dong, but I was afraid nobody else would get me. Tee Hee. Naughty.

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  30. I know, June. I had visions of ridiculously coiffed snack cakes when I read my sleepy typing. I started to call it Don King’s Kong or King Kong’s Ding Dong, but I was afraid nobody else would get me. Tee Hee. Naughty.

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  31. I am also-also guessing Best in Show, but everyone else jumps on the blog when I’m still trying to turn my brain on.
    Am I the only person that would be perfectly find with not having anything to do with snack cakes for the rest of her life? Ice cream and cookies I need to live, but ring-ding-don-kings I could care less about. More for you guys, I guess.
    Today is also the worst day of the year in Boston. With over 50 colleges in the metropolitan area, all the leases end/start on September 1st, and all the young people think that this shitty overpriced rat-infested broken elevator apartment building is slightly better than their current shitty rat-infested broken elevator apartment and so they all pack up and switch. All on the same day.
    The usual awful Boston drivers (aka Massholes) + 50,000 U-Hauls driven by kids who have maybe had their license for three years, driving in possibly the country’s most difficult driving city that they only drive in on this one day of the year, who have never driven anything bigger than a Civic in the suburbs = aneurysm road rage.
    Guess who’s staying inside today.

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  33. Perhaps, June, you should discuss Nostalgic Childhood Junkfood. Then we could all list our favorites. Then we could all go eat each other’s favorites and gain enough weight to see us safely through the long, cold winter. I would also enjoy a discussion of soup.

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  34. I would give my left boob for a Ding Dong right now. Stupid gluten-free diet!
    Why would you get married on your birthday? When you talk to Barry today, please ask him.

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  35. Bwahaaaaa!
    Oh, and fyi, today is also the 70th anniversary of the beginning of WWII as my boss informed me as he walked in this morning. Good to know, no?

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  36. HAHA “those of us in the pet world.” That’s your obnoxious ex dog walker right? The one who hated the dog food you were feeding Tallulah? That snob.

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  37. I too am wondering what, exactly, a female dog is putting back in her pants?? I mean, I’ve seen movies about…uh, never mind. No I haven’t…
    Ding Dongs, King Dings, Ring Dongs…why do I have a hankering for Chinese food for lunch all of a sudden?
    Three days, Jan…

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  39. It may be time for a Ding Dong dash right now, for breakfast. I don’t know how well that would contribute to Stayin’ Alive.
    Boy, I thought my Beth was the queen of obscure trivia (notice I did not say useless, because I am very glad to have the whole ding dang dong thing cleared up), but Amy really outdid herself there. Thanks.

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  42. First the important topic…Barry Gibb is going to marry me when his wife realizes he needs to be with me and not her. I’m not sure what Kahuna would think about that. He would probably say “You can have her. She wakes up at 4 in the A.M. Morning because she remembers that your birthday is September 1.”
    Second – That Lulah. What is she putting back in her pants?

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  43. Dang, I love a ding dong!
    Here’s some trivia for you: Ding Dongs were called big wheels on the East Coast to avoid confusion with the Ring Ding. THEN the Ring Ding maker and the Ding Dong maker merged, and there where no more Big Wheels. But THEN, they broke up and the Ring Ding company allowed the Ding Dongs to call themselves the King Don’s (also on the East Coast). Then the Ding Dongs (who had merged with someother company) bought the Ring Dings and so they got rid of the King Don name (except, apparently, in Canada).
    Perhaps we should have Ding Dongs as our official book club snack. We could tie in it to the fact that no part of the Ding Dong is superfulous. That every part is there because it has to be (or however Roark described his buildings). Just a thought…

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  44. I am quite impressed with your extensive knowledge of all things Gibb. I have similar files of Beatles information that I wish I could delete. I have no need of all those fun facts, but I DO need to remember what I am doing this week!
    “Lilas Yoga and You” HA, oh to be that calm and twisty!

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  45. Furry,
    Do you mean Don King? Because giggling uncontrollably over Don Kong. Am picturing King Kong with Don King’s hair.

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  52. “Oriental” refers to THINGS from the Orient – such as food, rugs, souvenirs, etc…material THINGS.
    Asian can be used for people or things.

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