Marvin is irking me so bad right now. So bad. He’s in there watching some movie, and every eight seconds he is laughing. “HA.HA.HA.HA.HA.HA,” he’ll say. “HA.HA.HA.HA.HA!”
He gets a kick out of his own self quite often, really. Look at Talu dying of humiliation.
For some reason it’s incredibly distracting. I want to yell, “Stop being JOYFUL, would ya?” but that’d be, you know, rude. It’s much politer to complain about him to all y’all.
Anyway, today I am going to discuss the $70 hair product I purchased this weekend.
I purchased Liquid Keratin ™, and as you can see, this woman’s hair is actually crying, so happy is it to be straight smooth and long. Okay, just noticed that it claims to make your hair “long” as well. Really, Keratin ™ people? Long?
When my pal Sleeping Beauty was a kid she used to ask the hairdresser to cut her hair long. I have never claimed she was a genius, that one.
But I am. Because I shelled out my $70 and headed right home for an afternoon of Liquid Keratin, which would render me straight, long, and weepy in my hair parts.
Here I am in my before picture. Why do I have that sort of school marm scowl? Marvin wants to move around the orange crate pictures to see if any of you notice. Have I told you that before? Do you think you’d notice?
So, you have to shampoo with one of the bottles shown above, then you have to towel dry. I actually tried to photograph for you the “towel dry” part.
Whose photographer father is hanging his head in shame right now? Is it mine? And I’d just like to say, for the record, that I MADE THAT BED, but Tallulah, there, likes to get in and mush the bedspread up, make her a little nest. Could someone remind her from whence she came? You were on a HIGHWAY, missy, in front of a really shabby TRAILER. And now your linens have to be just so? Poo on you, Tallulah. Poo.
After the brilliantly photographed towel dry part, there is the spray other stuff in part.
Okay, HONESTLY. I need clear psychological help. Did I really think I was capturing anything here, other than the floor and the sounds of many, many people unsubscribing from me?
I kind of got the part where I dried it straight and as usual look like Robin Gibb. And I see Nest Girl has gotten comfy back there. Anyway, the product is supposed to get sealed in after I straighten it with my CHI, and then I have to leave it alone for two days and put the rest of the products in my hair.
You are going to be surprised to hear that I did not get a good shot of it straightened. Hunh.
However, here I am tonight. It was 100% humidity this morning and it rained a little during my afternoon walk with my work friends. And yet, here is my hair.
Who enjoys the webcam special effects? Who did a whole senior picture pose, and love love loved herself? Who had on her nightgown and her necklace from work, all at once? Who might as well just star in Frances Farmer and call it a day?
At any rate, this $70 stuff is supposed to keep me frizz free for up to six weeks, and I know I have captured my rain hair for you in the past and you have to admit it is pretty unfrizzy for, you know, me.
This was almost a Make June Do It activity, wasn’t it? Except for the part where no one made me do it except the advertisers in In Style magazine.