Friends, June's stupid life

And the rest!

by June

Today Marvin and I are getting together with my old friend Marianne and her son.

I know I have told you who Marianne is, but people come and go so quickly from this blog, and sometimes people don't read all 650 of my posts because they have lives, so I will recap.

I met Marianne soon after I moved to Seattle. Someone we both knew–who I will cleverly call Lois–dragged us to a rugby game on a Saturday morning. Lois was obsessed with rugby players.

We were not.

But Marianne had just moved to town from North Carolina and I had just moved to town from Michigan, so we were both pretty desperate for anything to do, because we knew almost no one.

So there we were, at a rugby game. In January. In the rain. Men were sticking cleats into each other's eye sockets like it was fun. We kept getting splattered with blood and bone shards. Marianne turned to me and said, "You wanna go back to the car and drink all the beer?" and I said, "Absolutely."

Lois didn't even notice. Did I mention she was a tad enamored of rugby players? Did I mention they could have started a whole new team, the "I Slept with Lois" team? Hell, they could have started a division.

We sat there with our six-pack, the rain pouring onto the windshield, and told each other our life stories.

From then on, we were inseparable. We went out dancing, we went to festivals, we rode the ferries, we just walked around Seattle and marveled at people. I lived in this trendy neighborhood, and every Saturday she'd come over and we'd go to the restaurant across from my house for breakfast. I am not kidding you when I tell you from that restaurant window, we would always see at least one person whose sex we could not determine. Always. Every Saturday.

We developed a theory that all the people with blue hair and orange hair and magenta hair? Their parents were troll dolls. Oh, we loved ourselves.

Even when I met my Seattle boyfriend, the one who married someone else two months after we broke up, Marianne was along constantly.

Feetnme 001

Here we are in 1994, leaving Kurt Cobain's memorial service at the Space Needle. I know that is totally a Seattle thing to be doing. The "I'm about to marry someone else" boyfriend took this shot. I like how somber we were. But really, we had been somber at the service. I am jamming out to my fringe coat and also Marianne's white leggings. Also, why do I try to have bangs with curly hair?

Oh! And as an aside, the boyfriend? Married a female rugby player. I am not even making that up.

When I got married, Marianne came to Michigan for my wedding. After the reception had quieted down, she and I sneaked off to the kitchen and stole a beer, then we sat in her rental car and drank it, just like old times. Except for the part where Lois was not digging a cleat out her rear end.

Anyway, Marianne lives back in NC now, and last night we were trying to decide where to meet. "Oh, I know a cool place in Winston-Salem," she said. I put her on the phone with Marvin so she could tell him where it was, because have you met me?

When Marvin handed back the phone, he said, "Marianne said there's a JC Penney nearby."

I grabbed the phone. "There's a JC Penney?" I yelled. "There's a slipcover couch on sale there that I really want to look at! We totally need a slipcover couch with these 86 pets."

Marianne said, "I could use a new slipcover, myself. Are just the slipcovers on sale?" "Yes!" I exclaimed.

We were quiet a minute.

"Are you laughing at us right now?" I asked her.

"We used to go out dancing till four, and now we're excited to look at a beige couch at JC Penney."

You think Penney's sells rugby shirts?

49 thoughts on “And the rest!”

  2. I commented yesterday but it’s not here. Hmmm.
    I said something like I would have gotten the “powerless” title, but I didn’t get this one. Then I said that maybe the “rest” refered to the rest home we were all headed to because we prefered looking at beige couches rather than dancing until 4am. I used to stay up until 4am. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. Rest Home.

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  4. How come when I just posted there was this cute little green starburst thingy that went up next to my words?

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  5. Seriously, Hulk. In REAL life I’ve needed this sarcasm font. Junie wrote me an email and I thought she was mad about this really stupid thing. She wasn’t mad at ALL! She was being sarcastic, but THERE WAS NO WAY TO KNOW!!
    HELP, Marvelous Marvin! We desperately need a sarcasm font.

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  10. Don’t pets scratch leather furniture? Or puncture it? I would be really unhappy if pets ruined my leather furniture. For now I will stick with slip covers. Washable slip covers.
    I had a girlfriend who was a rodeo slut. I had to sit through rodeos with her, fending off pairs of team ropers who would ask me things like, “Whar y’all stalled up at?” while she was in some guy’s van, trying to get his spurs off his boots as a souvenir while he was riding her.
    Good times.

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  11. Your blog is so educational. LOL! It’s wonderful when you can meet up with old friends and continue the friendship like there had never been any time past since you were last close friends. Now, that’s a good friend, or should I say, a friend for life.

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  13. Just tuned in…Wow, I didn’t remember that we took pictures that day! I do remember the looong walk up the big hill afterward. Would have complained more if it weren’t for the alcohol. Had a great time today. Can’t wait until the rest of your blog today. Yes it is an awful responsibility to encompass “the rest” 🙂 Love ya!

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  15. You know, I DIED in January of 1965. I didn’t even last the whole first season of Gilligan’s Island. Don’t know how you thought I’d get THAT one. Jeesh. Thought you were talking about Marianne Faithfull. But no — even THAT would be too highbrow for you. Glad to see you’re not gettin’ above your raisin’.

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  16. It’s me. J.
    I just got back from Sonic where I played a little game of “Chick or Dude”. The man hands make me so confused.

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  17. Heavenly days in the morning. I leave for one day and come back to all this comment drama. Okay, yes. My title was from Gilligan’s Island.
    Hulk, “We admitted we were powerless” is step one of the 12 steps of AA. And all the other As, for that matter.
    And Deb, you are right. You DID get that one, didn’t you? Who’s my good 12-step-knower?
    Finally, Jan, I like how you have assigned me the world’s biggest undertaking from the comfort of your living room, over there. Comment of the Year. I’ll give you a comment, and it ain’t “Let’s dance.” (Heart you, Jan.) (And WAS it J? WAS IT? She didn’t say! It was like a Nessie sighting. So brief.)

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  18. June, I usually get your titles but don’t generally comment on them… unless they force me to laugh so hard I have liquid come out of my nose. I will comment on titles more.
    J ???? J ???? OH MY GOODNESS!!! IS THAT REALLY YOU, J ???? We have missed you.
    Too bad you don’t still have the fringed jacket. That would be an awesome prize for commenter of the year. Which you should totally name. Either Commenter of the Year, which would be a culminative award given to the person who you feel had the best comments overall, or Comment of the Year and go through all of the Special of the Week award winners and pick the best one from all of those.

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  21. I just saw that Furry beat me to the punch…back when GI just started, the theme song went “and the rest” were there on GI. I guess the Professor and Marianne didn’t merit names in the song yet, but a season or two in, it was changed to “the Professor and Marianne”.
    I’m hoping that explanation fits because that’s what June meant. I love her clever titles, and almost always get them, but never thought to comment on them.

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  23. slipcovers…. oh they are HORRID! i almost slit my writs over slipcovers! i would rather own a couch a bum had peed in before i would ever do slipcovers again….seriously, i HATE them!!

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  25. I just wanted to say that you should win an award for just blogging everyday. I can always count on you.
    And, I don’t really understand much of what goes on here; titles, the comments…….
    but you sure are fun!

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  27. Totally channeling Meg Ryan, which is perfect, because Meg Ryan starred in Sleepless in Seattle, which just happens to be one of my most favorite movies ever.

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  28. Let him sing me back home with a song I used to hear
    Make my old memories come alive
    Oh please, take me away and turn back the years
    Sing me back home before I die

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  29. Now see I’m so old when you said Marianne and the rest I started looking for Ginger, The Professor, Mr. & Mrs. Howell, The Skipper and my ex-boyfriend Gilligan.
    Also and too… What is RED NOSE DAY? Is this a consortium of coke-heads?

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  33. Is this J of the “funny thing J said this week” Js? Anyway, no. Marianne! My
    friend’s name is Marianne! Which has something to do with “And the rest!” I
    guess my titles only make sense in this labyrinth of kittens and Barry Gibb
    that is my brain.
    On Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 12:20 PM, wrote:

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  36. Oh JuneBug!
    I totally love that you shared this story. Maybe because I’m getting on in years and getting all nostalgic or because you put a great spin on no longer being out ’til 4am dancing. Either way…. I hope your day is fun!

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  38. Am still waiting for someone to get my title, though. Most times my titles
    go unnoticed. Like when we had the blackout? My title was, “We admitted we
    were powerless.” No one got that. I must not have any addicts reading me.
    On Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 11:19 AM, wrote:

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  40. How fun to have a friend that “grows” with you. I hope the slipcovers are everything you want them to be. Have a fun Saturday.

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  43. I lived in Winston-Salem with Beth for awhile and cannot think of anywhere there as exciting as J.C. Penney. I always thought you could tell the transplants from the home growns in Hanes Mall just by sight. The home growns, I believed, had been subjected to years of testing by either Winston or Salem. Have a good day, break out the fringe.

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  45. “[B]ut people come and go so quickly . . .”
    Wow. You could make a poem out of this blog.
    “In the [blog] the women come and go
    Talking of Michaelangelo.”
    Or beige slipcover sofas at J. C. Penney. Whatever.

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  46. It is raining and I recently told one of my friends that she can cough up the ark because I have successfully collected every animal on the planet. I? Have both slip covered and leather couches and the leather is waaayyy better. The 83 pounds that is Zoe always pulls the slip cover to the floor before napping. And also too? I figure if leather is tough enough to cover a cow, it’s good enough for my furniture.

    Like

  47. It is raining and I recently told one of my friends that she can cough up the ark because I have successfully collected every animal on the planet. I? Have both slip covered and leather couches and the leather is waaayyy better. The 83 pounds that is Zoe always pulls the slip cover to the floor before napping. And also too? I figure if leather is tough enough to cover a cow, it’s good enough for my furniture.

    Like

  48. It is raining and I recently told one of my friends that she can cough up the ark because I have successfully collected every animal on the planet. I? Have both slip covered and leather couches and the leather is waaayyy better. The 83 pounds that is Zoe always pulls the slip cover to the floor before napping. And also too? I figure if leather is tough enough to cover a cow, it’s good enough for my furniture.

    Like

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