I just threw away my eggplant sweater. I don't mean that it was literally made from eggplants, cause, slimy. I loved that sweater, but it was gettin' ridiculous.
Okay, cause first of all, Robbie Krieger from The Doors called and wants his hair back. It's 99% humidity here today. I guess it's time for another Liquid Keratin treatment. But beyond my berserk hair, this sweater has had it. Note how it gapes up in the collar, and how fashionably lengthy it is, plus it has stretched out so that it covers my hands, like I constantly have sock puppets on.
I have no idea why Tinkerbell is on the lower-left side of this photo.
Here might be why this sweater is finally being retired. Because I bought this sweater with my sister-in-law when we both lived in LA. She had one child then, Emma, who was in her stroller as we shopped and she looked like this:
Emma happy to shop with Aunt June. Emma talk a little like Tallulah. How about some fashionable scrunchy socks, Aunt June?
Emma is ELEVEN now. She has her own cell phone. Time has passed, is what I am saying to you. She still totally rocks that jumper dress, though. Just like I do the eggplant sweater.
So, goodbye, sweater. You served me well.
But hey, guess what? While I was looking for a picture of Emma? I found this!!!
I know I talked about this picture about a year ago. I told you all I couldn't find the photo of the happiest moment of my life, and I told y'all to shut up about the part where you're supposed to say your wedding day was the happiest moment because HI I'M HOLDING A BABY LION.
A BABY LION!
It was some fundraiser for some animal rescue place, and for $10 they just TOTALLY LET YOU hang with a baby lion or tiger. There was a huge line, but I was first. And yes, most of the people were, you know, children, but they had to WAIT THEIR TURN! For I was holding a baby lion. Oh, it was fabulous. She FELT wild, you know? She felt kind of vibrate-y.
And the whole time my mother was in the background saying, "How do I know this lion won't eat my child? My 38-year-old child?"
And you know what makes me sad? It makes me sad that the happiest moment of my life had to be in my mother's sweatpants with pockets. We were on vacation and you do not even want to know what happened to my original pants that day. Really. Trust me. And there were NO OTHER PANTS besides those, so yes. Every time I look at this, I'm all, "Nice mom sweats." But still! I thought I had lost this photo forever! And I found it! Oh, sweet heavenly biscuits in the morning I found it!
Did I mention it was a moment to end all moments? Am I gettin' over the baby lion?
And finally. In summation. I also found this happy photo.
I know this is in Seattle, because of the ferry action. Let's discuss just everything. First of all, am I a plush toy? What is with the fuzzy sweater? And such a snug fit! It would have looked great with mom's sweats. And am I Cruella DeVille? How many Dalmatians were sacrificed for that bag?
And finally, the earrings. Oh, those earrings. Am I wearing candelabra? Are those go-go dancer cages? Do they actually light up? And what made me say, "Oh! These enormous yellow and magenta earrings will go nicely with my blue stuffed animal sweater and Dalmatian bag!"
Wow! Someone's fashion sense needs a lifesaver. At least I didn't keep THAT sweater for 11 years.