Perhaps I could dress up as a narcissist

The difference between living in LA and living in North Carolina is, you know, everything, but one thing that is for sure different is that adults don't celebrate Halloween like they did back home.

And I know I should not call LA "back home," but that is what it feels like and I can't help it. I lived there 10 and a half years. They were formative years.

We had these friends who had an annual Halloween party in Venice. Not Italy, ya maroon, Venice Beach. The part of LA that was beachy and hippie-y. As opposed to Topanga Canyon, which is mountain-y and hippie-y. Our friends bought this teensy tiny house right near the Venice canals, and technically the place was a little changing house in the 1920s, but now that the Venice canals are so popular, that little changing house cost like 8 million dollars.

It was really pretty at their house. But small. Because you were just supposed to change out of your bathing suit and get the hell out. Because LA was normal in the '20s and people didn't pay 8 million dollars to live in a changing house.

The POINT is, they had a HUGE Halloween party every year in that tiny house. There were a lot of people, and a lot of CANDLES lit, and a lot of narrowness, and sometimes my costumes were not amenable to this setup.

Like the year Marvin and I went as Steve Irwin and a stingray. I never said we were tasteful.

ElrayoS2

ElrayoS3
I forgot our rental house had carpet. Oh, how I hated that carpet. Look at Halloween Winston. Boo!

Frontray 
As you can imagine, I was constantly concerned about my, you know, fins catching fire at the party. Which is probably something stingrays worry about all the time in real life.

Things were easier the year we were Spy vs Spy.

Spy

Except neither of us thought about the part where those cones inhibited us from drinking or eating anything. Yeah. And apparently all my costumes involve me holding my hands up in a dramatic fashion.

I'm just saying, my entire adult life I have been getting dressed up for Halloween, and no one in the South seems to have grownup Halloween parties. It's a shame, is what it is.

Is anyone going to a party this year? What are you gonna be? How many people are going to dress up as Jon and Kate, do you think? That's what we need. More of them.

60 thoughts on “Perhaps I could dress up as a narcissist

  1. Grown-ups in costume frighten me. I don’t know why. I must have been traumatized as a child.
    Besides, I have to spend all my creative energy on convincing my boys to go as pirates (again!). I figure, we have the capes; why not use them?

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  2. I think making a big fuss about Halloween is an LA thing. I always wondered why tv shows made such a big deal about Halloween.
    I guess because the shows are written in LA.
    They made Halloween seem like as big a deal as Thanksgiving or Christmas and it isn’t for the rest of the country.

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  3. I live in Texas and we love Halloween! When I worked for the state, we could dress up on that day. My favorites were the departments which went with a theme, such as The Addams Family. Hilarious! We have some costume parties here. This year I am the OctoMom –
    another in-vitro nightmare. But my best-received costume yet was the old Hooter’s girl. Geez, I wish I knew how to scan those pictures for you. It was a hoot!

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  4. I.Hate.Halloween.
    Although I will admit that once when I had a dermatologist’s appointment on Halloween, I got a good chuckle out of the blood lab people being dressed up as vampires.

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  5. I.Hate.Halloween.
    Although I will admit that once when I had a dermatologist’s appointment on Halloween, I got a good chuckle out of the blood lab people being dressed up as vampires.

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  6. I.Hate.Halloween.
    Although I will admit that once when I had a dermatologist’s appointment on Halloween, I got a good chuckle out of the blood lab people being dressed up as vampires.

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  7. I’m in the Northeast…we have parties here. My husband has a fantastic Gene Simmons get up…oh, and one year he and some friends from work dressed as ZZTop for a company Halloween party and nobody could figure out who it was under the beards…they even made a Christmas card out of it for some of their co-workers and signed it ZZTop. Sad but true.
    I’m weak on the costume front.
    Maroon..love that word. John and Kate-ick.

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  8. I’ve always loved Halloween. This will be the first year I have no teen (child on verge of manhood) frantically running around at the last minute trying to throw a costume together. I am going to miss that.
    My husband and I will be performing this 3rd annual ritual: He will stay home and hand out candy while I run down the street to a friend’s chili party and slam down a couple of beers.
    I’ll run home and pour gobs of candy in a bowl and leave it on the porch with a sign that reads: PLEASE BE KIND AND REWIND. (Oh, wait, that’s not it.) It will actually read: TAKE ONE AND PASS. DON’T BE AN ASS. (Again, not really.) I don’t know what the sign will say this year. But anyway, we leave the candy and go next door to another friend’s house and we all gather on their porch in costume, and drink inconspicuously from plastic skull wine glasses. Then we come home and find all the candy gone and our pumpkins smashed. It’s always a blast.
    I don’t know what costume we will don this year. Maybe biker and biker chick. IF I can convince my husband to be the biker chick!
    June, why not have a party of your own? You could start your own tradition.

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  9. I LOVE costumes! I go to my church’s costume party every year. Last year I was Snow White…anytime anyone made eye contact, I would take a bite of my apple and fall over pretending to sleep. (Kind of like your friend sleeping beauty but with a prop)It was great! I’m not sure what I’ll be this year; I’m thinking something with a red wig. (I’ve always wanted to be a red head!) The hardest part is finding one that doesn’t make me look like a brazen hussy. (Really? Why do all women costumes have to be super short or showing cleavage? Whoever heard of a sexy mail carrier anyway?)

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  10. I admit, I do not dress up for Halloween (never have in my adult years). By the time I get my children dressed in their costumes,they trick, they treat, they eat, I am worn out. I think my friends are in the same boat…we are too tired to party. Sad 😦
    By the way, you look great in your photo’s. I like that you and Marvin like each other well enough to dress up and party together…you guys are cool.
    Why don’t you throw a party at Casa Gardens?

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  11. Last year we went as Peter & Lois from “Family Guy”. Nobody at the high-brow party we were at got it. This year he wants us to go as Laurel & Hardy since he’s pretty big (and does look like Ollie) and I can do the Stan Laurel goofy smile. Personally, I hate getting dressed up like that. I always feel stupid. Fortunately, he’s in a band that’s playing on Halloween night so I think I get a pass this year!

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  12. You should have a Halloween party at YOUR house! I would TOTALLY come! Wait, where is your house? Where do you even live? Am I gonna have to fly there? Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Wherever you live and wherever I live, we’re just gonna meet in the middle.

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  13. I love Halloween! Last year I went as a brick. My husband was a brick layer. Most people seemed a little slow getting it. I, however, thought it was hilarious!

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  14. I don’t really do Halloween… except one year. My best friend threw a party at a cemetery IN the mausoleum. It was AWESOME SPOOKY! Old B&W movies flickering on a wall, smoke machine, Halloween-themed foods (cat litter cake w/Tootsie Roll turds!), a fortune teller, and a story where we had to sit on the floor of the oven room (the ovens were still hot!) and pass stuff under a blanket that related to the scary story (oiled-up veggies, etc to represent body parts). And the worst/best part…. there were ACTUAL DEAD PEOPLE in cardboard coffins in the hallway waiting to be cremated!!!! And someone peeked inside, and yes, I saw too! Ewwwwww!!!!
    Oh, and we were “Victims of the Birds”. Had old dress/suit with birds & blood on them. We won first prize: a bottle of Boonesfarms! I still have that costume & will probably wear it to a party this year.

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  15. My sister does this huge TA-DA over Halloween and costumes are required to enter her party. Last year I was a Mobster, and this year, I am going as a slutty pirate. Because really, what other day this year will I get to wear fishnets? Momma loves her some fishnets. Not that I have a date. Again. But hey, it’s all good. Maybe if I hang around my sister’s corner long enough I can snag a date?

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  16. Geez, Susan, your post gave me the heebie jeebies!
    Now I’m off to Google “cat litter cake with Tootsie Roll turds”.

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  17. Holy Crapola!! Everyone has GOT to Google an image of that cake. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that! I am so making that for my son’s 16th birthday in Dec. So GROSS, so HILARIOUS!
    June, you have to make one and take it to the next office party!

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  18. How fun! Your costumes are always so imaginitive and creative. I do not know what to tell you about the south not having parties. I am in Oklahoma and I know lots of people who have parties (here in Oklahoma we like to consider ourselves as part of the ‘South’, since, ya know, we’re right in the middle of the US). My dad and stepmom are going to a party w/costume theme that you have to dress as a musical personality. My dad is going as one of the guys from ZZ Top (complete w/spinning guitar!) and my stepmom is going as Mary (from Peter, Paul and Mary).
    Being the mommy that I am, I will be haunting the zoo and trick or treating. My youngest is going to be Elmo, my oldest is going to be a ‘nice’ witch. Since I am pg, I have decided to wear a black t-shirt w/a white circle on my stomach w/the number 8 on it and a blue diamond on my back that says “Yes, In Due Time” (a magic 8 ball). I came up with that all by myself. Clever?

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  19. We like Halloween parties here in the ATL! A few years ago, my hubs and I went as Sonny and Cher to a Sunday School Halloween party where you had to come as some famous couple. The other couples were things like M&M’s, Samson and Delilah, a couple of karate students (?), and I can’t remember the rest and then there was us. He was Cher and I was Sonny because he’s tall and I’m a shorty and he does a MEAN impression of Cher flipping her hair over her shoulder! It was fabulous and I don’t think we’ll ever be able to top that one.

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  20. I live in Charlotte and I’m invited to two Halloween costume parties. The difference is, I feel like I HAVE to dress up, instead of I GET to dress up. Hey, maybe you can go in my stead – you can dress up as me (jeans, hoodie, and flip flops will do)!

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  21. Like Laurie I am also in Texas and we go to costume parties. One of our best costume efforts was Hershey bars, I was “plain” and my husband was “with nuts”.
    We have pregnant nun costumes, circa 1970’s pimp, capes that work equally well with vampires or witches. Lots of fun stuff. I think the best place to get good costume stuff is Goodwill.
    You still have time June, get to inviting and plan your costumes. Marvin will have so much fun planning all the music to party by!
    Cristy, your magic 8 ball costume sounds spectacular! I would love to see some photos.

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  22. I, too, was tired of the no Halloween parties for adults in the south. Here in central Florida, there’s a big party in the streets called Guavaween, because our neck of the woods is nicknamed, The Big Guava. My husband and I used to do the Guava every year, but then the partiers started getting….well, younger and young people partying in the street on Halloween act like morons and since we are oldsters now and have no tolerance for morons, we stay home and wait for Halloween invitations. Since, I have received zilch we are taking matters into our own hands.
    Since I have short, blonde hair and nothing else that resembles her, I am going as Bridgitte Nielsen. My husband is going as Flava Flav. He also bears little if any resemblance to Flava, but I have fishnets, candy cigarettes, slutty clothes that are too tight and the right makeup to make me look boozy and hardened beyond my years. For the husband I’ve got a grill, a viking helmet, a snazzy track suit, and of course, the giant clock pendant. He’s been practicing his “Yeah, Boyyyy.”

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  23. The brick and brick layer? LOVE that!
    So, kids…I live in SALEM, MA. Capital of all things Halloween for the enTIRE month of October. You wanna dress up? You don’t even need a party here. Seriously. People of all ages come here dressed in costume any day of the week in October. It’s totally commonplace!
    We had a great Halloween party a few years back right after the Red Sox won their first World Series in 86 years. I was Manny Ramirez and my hubby was Johnny Damon! We had about 80 people here – great costumes. Abe Lincoln got drunk and kept spilling his drinks everywhere in our house. Who knew Abe was a sloppy drunk?
    Anyway, you’re all welcome to visit Salem in October. It’s a city-wide, month-long party! (It really is fun!)

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  24. I tried to convince my husband to be Richard Simmons & I would be Jane Fonda, but he refuses to put on short shorts and I wig full or pubic hair.

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  25. Our neighbor has a Halloween party every year here in Austin. Costumes required, children not allowed. The party doubles in size every year.
    The first year we went as the Raggedy’s, Ann and Andy. We won. Last year, I was solo, so was a bed bug (jammies with wings). This year, I am not a happy camper, complete with bug bites, rash, leaves in my hair and a skunk sticking out of my backpack.
    I have a recipe for cupcakes with eyeballs in the middle that I will be taking to the party. It’s on my blog. http://www.heiferyung.com/2009/10/you-never-know-how-you-look-through.html

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  26. I always dress up as a sports guy. One year I was a catcher, including the mask. Very hard to drink. So the next year I went as a football player, including the helmet.
    Yeah.
    Fawn Amber, I’ll be your date. I’ll be the goalie trying to swig beer through his mask. A think-it-through guy, is what I am.

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  27. Before I had kids we went to a big party every year with my brother and sister-in-law. I rocked the Pebbles costume, but oddly, Mr Hyphen refused to wear a diaper and be Bam-Bam. I think the last year we went I was a Geisha… must have been the year the book Memoirs of a Geisha came out. We had several instances where the candles caught decorations afire. Good times!

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  28. I haven’t been to a great Halloween party since college. People used to REALLY compete for best costume because, well, our usual gear was rather costume-like. We had to kick it up a notch.
    The best one was six guys from the same dorm who went as the Parthenon. They managed to drink just fine. It was the restroom that gave them fits.

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  29. I haven’t been to a great Halloween party since college. People used to REALLY compete for best costume because, well, our usual gear was rather costume-like. We had to kick it up a notch.
    The best one was six guys from the same dorm who went as the Parthenon. They managed to drink just fine. It was the restroom that gave them fits.

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  30. I haven’t been to a great Halloween party since college. People used to REALLY compete for best costume because, well, our usual gear was rather costume-like. We had to kick it up a notch.
    The best one was six guys from the same dorm who went as the Parthenon. They managed to drink just fine. It was the restroom that gave them fits.

    Like

  31. Here in Northern California (a completely different animal than Southern California) we have !PARTIES! and kids kind of expect you to be dressed up when you answer the door to give out candy. and have scary lighted pumpkins on your walkway. and have creepy spider web-by things on your porch.
    What was your favorite costume growing up? One year my best friend and I were “a pair of dice” we made the costumes out of big painted boxes and wore black tights.

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  32. The COOOLEST Halloweenie party I ever went to was at Ann Rice’s House in the Garden District. It was huge! The party and well the house too. Anyway I went dressed as I suicidal 50’s teen and my barffriend went as James Dean, because honestly that was the ONLY thing I could get him to dress as. So we went as Teenangel. I never saw Ann Rice that night but still it was cool.

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  33. I am so not creative when it comes to Haloween costumes. June? Do you remember when one of your close friends in high school came dressed as a blinking Christmas tree, complete with blinking classes? It was so cool, I gave up even trying at that point.
    I am with the others, have the party at your place. Your friends and neighbors deserve it!
    Oh…almost forgot. Best costumes I ever saw were 3 friends of mine, brothers from LA. They knew a makeup artist there and he made them latex penis costumes, painted to look realistic. I followed those three through every bar in Chicago that night, it was something to see. Really.

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  34. My husband, who is 6’6″, suggests we go as Sonny and Cher some year. With him as Cher. I just need to get Bob Mackie to design him a dress.
    Once I put him in a striped rugby shirt and made him bee wings. I went as a flower. made a giant cardboard flower thing to go around my face. Wound fake ivy around my legs. But the cardboard made it so I could not hear anything/
    Had a friend one year who wore a top hat and carried a cane. He said he was Thurston Howell from Gilligan’s Island.

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  35. Awesome costumes!
    I live in NJ, used to live in NY, and we’ve always been big with Halloween.
    This year my girls and I are going as the Witches of Eastwick, sort of. Now if only I can get my hubby to dress up as Jack Nicholson…

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  36. How much do hookers and blow cost in NJ?
    Wonder if Paula will go as a hooker and her significant other will go as a pile of blow?
    I am trying to work the phrase “hookers and blow” into every conversation I have.

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  37. Since Steve Irwin was known more for his love of wild animals than for his love of bunnies, am I to assume that the bunny Marvin is holding is supposed to be fed to one of his pet snakes?
    Many years ago I dressed up for Halloween as a 50s used car salesman, complete with the mismatched plaid pants and sport jacket and loud tie, my hair greased back. Someone at work (yes, I wore this to work) thought I was mocking a fellow employee who actually did dress like that. I felt so bad I donated the clothes back to Goodwill and never dressed up for Halloween again.

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  38. Do you remember that one-hit-wonder makeover show called “The Swan,” back in ’04? They took the homliest folks and did a total overhaul, plastic surgery and all. I printed out a mug shot (for reals) of a old, drunken blond, wrote “Before” on it, taped it to my back, then put on a long blond wig, and taped a piece of paper with “After” on the front of my shirt. My best friend almost wet her pants, it was so hilarious. That was the one and only time I’ve dressed up as an adult. I know: *yawn.*
    OH! Sidebar! June, I saw a cheetah last week at the San Diego Zoo. I was managing a conference there, and they brought one in the room for one of the presentations, but they kept her onstage several feet away from the attendees and kept feeding her meat so she wouldn’t view us as a late lunch. Made me think of your post last week. Timely, eh?

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  39. My husband … as a pile of blow … who is dying here?
    He’s skinny but maybe we could dress him all in white and attach a huge mocked up mirror to his back….
    And I could definitely rock the hooker look.

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  40. My husband … as a pile of blow … who is dying here?
    He’s skinny but maybe we could dress him all in white and attach a huge mocked up mirror to his back….
    And I could definitely rock the hooker look.

    Like

  41. My husband … as a pile of blow … who is dying here?
    He’s skinny but maybe we could dress him all in white and attach a huge mocked up mirror to his back….
    And I could definitely rock the hooker look.

    Like

  42. Ooooh, Gin, you are so wrong. This Minnesotan is getting very excited for her friend’s party. Every year my friend throws this gigantic Halloween party, complete with theme. Last year was Hollywood, so we went as the black-and-white versions of Frankenstein and Bride. This year is Wicked Wonderland. Since my friend also has a blog where she posts about her crafting, she’s been talking a lot about her party and costume ideas. Where she gave away my idea of being the grin without the cat. Boo. So now I’m going as the Duchess, which involved a poofy dress and a pig baby. Good times.

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  43. Hulk- couldn’t you have had your drinks with a straw? i hear you get drunk faster when you drink from a straw.
    Lisa- I considered getting a big cardboard box and being an oven w/a bun in me, and having my husband be the ‘baker’ but since it is likely that we’ll be stopping by church that night, it might be frowned upon, not to mention, a pregnant woman wearing a cardboard box chasing after a witch and elmo just doesn’t sound like the makings of a fun evening, even if i do get to raid their candy once they are in bed.

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  44. I think I WILL go as Kate with 8 baby dolls. I’ll put a look of consternation on and get some Jackie-O glasses. Thanks for the idea!!! Now, I just need a silver fox to be my date (her body guard).
    I am ususally Sally from Nighmare Before Xmas but the dog peed on my Sally wig, as accustomed to that smell as I am, it would smell up any event I go to. I LOVE Halloween!! Owlsorts is a great blog about Halloween Etsy-type crafts – check it out.

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  45. Paula (H&B) – you must must must get your husband to be a pile of cocaine for Halloween! Wouldn’t that be hilarious?
    Best costume I’ve seen are some friends who went as The Blue Man group (they won a local contest) and then the next year, two of them went as The Blues Brothers, and they also won!

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  46. An aside. I really think it’s funny how so many of us post a comment, then come back again and again to see what others have posted!
    Does that happen on other blogs? Just curious, since this is the only blog I like to comment on (nice dangling preposition, there).

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  47. Hey,June’s Pal from MA: I thought the same thing! It is definately the only blog I do that with. Heck, I rarely even bother to read comments on other blogs. Or comment, for that matter.
    Anyhoo, I came back to say that when I first saw that picture of Marvin holding the bunny I thought he was dressed as Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction!

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  48. Best costume I ever saw was at a bar in Dallas. A guy had a big white cardboard tube all the way up his body with white cotton poking out of the top and a rope (string) hanging out the bottom….yes he was a TAMPON.

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  49. Your face in that sting ray outfit is too funny. Wish people did halloween here. I’m all in for dress up parties.
    P.s. Dawn in Austin – Not a happy camper costume sounds CLASSIC!

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  50. Cristy, great minds…I was going to suggest that Hulk bring along a bendy straw next time too!
    And yep, this is the only blog where I’ve followed conversations in the comments!

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  51. Okay… I am so annoyed because the Special Events Committee at school decided that we need a THEME for Halloween. So.. instead of dressing up like we want (I was going to be a witch), we have to dress up like a piece of candy. CANDY???!!! How stupid is that? I’m just going to be a black piece of licorice.

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  52. Why haven’t I come over here more often? The Nester just loves you and now I do too.
    I too spent my formative years in a place (Aspen, CO) where adults dressed up for Halloween.
    Last year I made a complete fool of myself when I took my 3 year old to a Halloween party and I dressed up with him. Let’s just say I was the only mom in costume and even though I tried to act cool, I felt like a doofus.
    Oh, and I am guilty of using the word “actually” when it isn’t actually needed. I will work on it now that it’s been brought to my attention and my preschooler is starting to do it too.

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  53. I don’t know if I’m dressing up this year or not. My favorite costume of all time was when I was preggers- about 7 months. Went as a skeleton, with a little skeleton fetus on my preggers belly. it was great!

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