Okay, I've been seeing this transgression a lot again lately, so let's review.
I wear my everyday clothes every day.
I know you are sick of hearing me say that, but WHY CAN'T PEOPLE GET IT? You don't write, "This happens everyday." ACK! No! Every day, TWO WORDS when you are talking about WHEN something happens. Every day.
When you are talking about a humdrum, not-exciting occurrence, it is an everyday occurrence. So again, I wear my everyday clothes every day. Get it? Can't we stop doing it wrong, PEOPLE MAGAZINE and CNN?
Thank you. Oy.
In other news, I have finished The Glass Castle, our book for Mince Words with June. Oh, I wish we could talk about it right away, but we can't. It's a month away, for heaven's sake. I should write my review right now, shouldn't I?
I have never been good with doing things ahead of time.
When I was in college, I had an English class–which is a shock, seeing as I was an English major–and it was held Tuesday and Thursday. The professor said we absolutely had to attend every Tuesday. Each Thursday, there would be a quiz on our assigned reading. The quizzes totaled 50% of our final grade.
Now, we could attend the Thursday classes as often as we liked, but we had to remember that those quizzes. So if you did something stupid like only attend one Thursday, that one quiz would be 50% of your whole grade.
What do you think your pal June did? Did she blow off every single Thursday until the last one? And sometimes I would have even done the assigned reading, but then when Thursday got there, it just seemed like such an effort to walk to class.
The final Thursday was coming, so naturally on Wednesday I got out my–oh my God, what's that called? The thingamajig that you get in class, that lists your homework–SYLLABUS. Geez. You have no idea how that was gonna bug me.
I got out the syllabus and it said your assignment can be found at the library. I traipsed over there, only to find that our assigned reading was The Confessions of St. Augustine, which was an entire, you know, book.
I stomped on over to my professor's office. "Professor Hardarse, there's an error on the syllabus," I fumed. "Which parts of this book are we to read?"
Professor Hardarse chuckled. "I'm very sorry, Miss, but there's been no mistake." He was British. I'm not even making that up for dramatic effect. And he really did call me "Miss." "I assigned that book to teach you procrastinators. You must read the whole thing, and remember, the quiz tomorrow will count for 50% of your grade, since you didn't take any of the other quizzes."
I remember his Persian carpet getting blurry as I sat there and cried.
And do you know I took that stupid book home, and sat up almost all night and read those dreadful confessions? And let me tell you something. The confessions of a SAINT aren't that thrilling.
About a week later, the semester was over, but we could go to Prof. Hardarse's office to pick up our quizzes. I can honestly tell you one of the happiest moments of my life was when I got an A on that quiz, and in the class.
And did I learn anything about procrastination? No. Hell, no. All I learned was that St. Augustine should have whooped it up a little here and there.
I have no idea how I got on this subject.
Finally, I have been getting approached to do product reviews a lot, and I usually say no. But the Oxy-Clean people? Who were REPRESENTED BY BILLY MAYS? WHO LOVED HIM THE OXY-CLEAN, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR HIM? Offered to send me some Kaboom Shower, Tub & Tile Cleaner.
And I don't know about you, but I think Oxy-Clean is the best thing ever. A stray cat I took in once had six kittens on our yellow bedspread, and oh, how I wish I was blogging back then, because I had SIX BABY KITTENS and oh! Best time ever. Anyway, you can imagine how my bedspread looked, and Oxy-Clean got it out. Completely.
So I said okay, send me the Kaboom. And it worked really well! I use Tilex usually, because that's what my cleaning lady used when I had a cleaning lady, but Kaboom worked just as well without that terrifying odor.
I told the Kaboom people I was gonna be honest even if I hated their product and they said they weren't worried, and they were right. KABOOM IS A GREAT BATHROOM CLEANER! IT WORKED ON MY COUNTERS AND IN MY SHOWER! I just yelled case you miss Billy Mays.
So there you go. And you'll be shocked to hear I put off using the Kaboom for awhile. But they told me I'd have to clean St. Augustine's bathroom if I didn't get on it, so…