In our second installment of Make June Do It, your faithful servant June has used the Bumpit.
The Bumpit is apparently something they advertise on infomercials, and frankly June is surprised she has not (a) seen said infomercial and (b) been wildly tempted to purchase it, because you give June EIGHT SECONDS with any infomercial and she desperately needs whatever product they’re selling.
Ohmygod, I SO.NEED. that dog dehydrator! My dog is way too wet. And what? They’re throwing in the menthol grater? MY MENTHOL HAS NEEDED GRATING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.
Seriously, I cannot tell you how they can show me something I do not remotely need, and they have me hypnotized instantly.
Did I ever tell you about when Marvin caught me buying the Escape Your Shape videos at 4 in the morning? In one of his better lines, he said, “You’re gonna WANT to escape your shape when I get done with you! Hang up that phone!”
His menthol is so never getting grated, is all I can say.
At any rate, when several of you asked me to try the Bumpit I did not know what it was. Fortunately, Faithful Reader Shana had not only heard of it, she was sucked into buying it and gladly shipped it off to me. I forget if her hair was too silky or she never got around to it or what the story was. Whatev. The Bumpit was mine.
There are like 79 pieces to this item. It was like getting Lincoln Logs or something. I had to read the directions before I began.
Did you really think I didn’t have to fool around with it first?
Okay, anyway, I finally put it in my hair. Won’t you enjoy the many natural colors of my hair? Who lives in a pineapple under my hair? Spongebumpit Squarepants.
Really? It wasn’t that dramatic. I kind of have Heather Locklear hair. Right after this I slept with Tommy Lee.
Yeah. So, I tried the Bumpit. I can see where it might be kind of cute if you didn’t have enormous hair like I do. It wasn’t so noticeable on me.
There were also little Bumpits? That apparently you added to the side of your hair? Yeah. Didn’t stay in my head.
I hope you’ve enjoyed your journey with June. I hope you’ve enjoyed making June Do It. Enjoy your bump day! Get it? Cause it’s Wednesday?