An evening in which Carpool Queen touched my bra

First of all, thank you everyone who tried to make me less cranky yesterday. Who knew being a Crabby Appleton could garner so many comments? It’s kind of like when I was a waitress; if I was my normal irked self my tips were way better than when I feigned that I was helpful and kind.


Anyway, I have to post today because my old boyfriend FINALLY wrote his “I Dated June” guest post and just because he had H1N1 was no reason, in my book, that his post should have taken so long to get here. But perhaps that is better left to complain about tomorrow, when I feature his fine post, in which he makes me sound like a pill. Which could not possibly be true.


Instead I will tell you about last night. Did you ever see that movie, About Last Night? It really wasn’t a good movie but I liked what Demi Moore was wearing in every scene. At least I did in 1987 when it was a movie.


I did not spend last night with Demi Moore, though. Instead I spent it with many women who also blog, at a little dinner put together by Faithful Reader and one of my first blog friends, Coffee Gal.


Coffee My pal the Coffee Gal. She’s drinking tea. BAHAHAHAHA.


Before we all got together, Coffee Gal emailed us and sent us a link to each woman’s blog. I took a gander at everyone’s yesterday and I panicked a little. Everyone who was coming was really spiritual and I am, you know, not.


“Why do I have to be the terminally unique one?” I thought. “What if everyone there hates me because of my not-religious blog? What if they kick me out the minute I walk in?”


Do you do that to yourself? Imagine the worst-case scenario before every social event? The summer before college, I got a letter from school with the name of my new roommate, and here’s what I worried about. I worried she would not have an eye. Not only would she not have an eye, she would, inexplicably, have some sort of IV tube that went into her empty eye socket. And she would need help changing the tube every day.


I swear to you that is what I envisioned. I convinced myself it would be so. I even wanted to call the school and tell them. “I am a really nervous person, and you need to place me with someone who doesn’t need their tube changed.”


Then I got there and my roommate was totally hot and had all sorts of really good makeup and borrowable clothes and also? Both eyes.


Everyone


The blogger chicks, conferring on whether to kick me the Sam Hill out.


Anyway, you will be shocked to hear that even though I walked into that room feeling like Ozzy Osbourne interrupting a worship service by chomping on a dove of peace, everyone was as nice as could be to me and I ended up having a really wonderful time.


Carpool Queen even fixed my bra straps. I am not kidding you. She regularly reads my blog, and she said, “Why am I not surprised to see your bra strap right now?” I lamented to her about how I had an issue and could NOT keep my straps in the correct spot. So she got right in there and adjusted them for me.


Bra How much do I love the Carpool/Brassiere Queen?


Oh, oh! Oh! And wait till you hear THIS. The woman sitting across from me last night? Who does not have a blog but reads all of ours? Totally figured out where TinyTown was based on stuff I said about the town. TinyTown has 3,000 people. Most North Carolinians don’t even know where I’m talking about when I say we used to live there. And this Nancy Drew figured it out.


Sleuth

She goes by the name K2. She climbed every mountain to figure out my deep secrets.


So anyway, did I mention it was a good time? Because it really was. We laughed, we complained, we told stories, we gave each other ideas for new posts. And we ate really, really fattening food.


Parm


At least I did.


Cpqcgme


Fortunately, carbs go straight to my hair.

47 thoughts on “An evening in which Carpool Queen touched my bra

  1. Are there carbs in cheese? Great hair cameo in the bra fixing photo. Hey, do you say “fixing” to indicate you are about to do something? Just wondering. I know it’s a regionalism, but not sure which region.

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  2. Glad you are in a better mood after all that socializing. That bad mood must be why you did not notice that one reader (ME!) did explain why, “Hit Weezer!” was funny. Geez, June, even Hulk read it! And I didn’t get cheesecake. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

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  3. Okay, (a), Laurie, did you say something? And (14), if someone comments twice in a row? It only shows me one comment. I have to notice there are two and click on it. So I did not SEE your comment. Yeesch. Some people get so bitter when they aren’t given pumpkin cheesecake.
    Also, did you say something?

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  4. Don’t let her fool you. June was our Blog-Star for the evening.
    For those who don’t know her in real life, she is as funny and charming in person as she is on the blog.
    June-all that worry was for nothing, who wouldn’t love you?

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  5. Wow. That college roommate thing was quite the insight to June’s psyche. 😉 But I do that as well… I envision the worst because then I can be pleasantly surprised that the worst (probably) didn’t happen. LOL
    That sounds like a great night! Glad you had fun. Complete with bra adjustments. Now every night for me will be a let-down unless someone will help me with my bra. Wait a second… this comment is falling apart…

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  6. It was a tremendous amount of fun, wasn’t it? It was so nice to meet you and the other fine blog ladies IRL.
    And yeah, you were pretty much the blog rock star last night!
    🙂

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  7. I’m hungry and hungover and your dinner looks to die for delicious. What a nice evening out for you.
    And yes, I’m a worst case scenario person, too. I start mentally preparing what calls I have to make and where to have funerals and stuff like that, because usually I’m sure someone has died.

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  8. Yes, I am totally “Worst Case Scenario” girl.
    And I completely feel for you with your “Ozzy Osbourne interrupting a worship service” moment.
    I have two very religious/spiritual friends and when I go out with just the two of them I am always afraid they are going to do some sort of religious intervention. I imagine that in their eyes I am the heathen girl who drinks, swears, and married a Jewish guy. Sometimes I think they are looking for some sort of Christian extra-credit by bringing me back from the “Dark Side.”
    Then I think that they are friends with me because their lives must be really boring. Seriously…no drinking or swearing? Ever? And don’t they know how funny the Jewish people can be?
    Geez…I should end this comment before it becomes longer than your post.

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  9. See, June, people really do like you, even those of us not lucky enough to meet you in real life. (Even if you have a “pre-Madonna” moment once in a while.) And besides, good carbs and good company makes everything better, every time. True. You can look it up. 🙂

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  10. It was so fun meeting you last night! I never imagined during all the time I spent sleuthing to discover the real identity of June Gardens, that I would actually meet you one day. What a fun twist to my sick little mystery-solving obsession. Notice how I attempted to hide my true identity in the above photo! 🙂 K2

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  11. Oh dear. I am always disappointed when people order chicken parm. It seems like a person is overwhelmed with choices and panics and just goes with the chicken parm. I don’t know; to me it seems like the safety net of the menu. “Hmm, let’s see, fettucine alfredo? tortellini?, mmm, ravioli!, omg there’s so many choices, do I want shrimp scampi?, no, I’ll stink later, maybe just a salad, oh wait everyone else is getting a meal, you know what, I’ll just have the chicken parm!”
    And did you order it like Sally? “I’ll have the chicken parm, but only if it’s free-range chicken, if not, then I’ll just have the chicken, not the parm, and not ziti on the side, linguini, and not too much sauce or it will be soggy, and on my salad, I’ll have balsamic, only if it’s made with fresh basil, but if not, I’ll have it anyway, but on the side. Unless you have home-made vinaigrette.”
    Ok, maybe *I’m* nuts but I didn’t think my college roommate had one tube-ridden eye. At least not before I met her.

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  12. Oh dear. I am always disappointed when people order chicken parm. It seems like a person is overwhelmed with choices and panics and just goes with the chicken parm. I don’t know; to me it seems like the safety net of the menu. “Hmm, let’s see, fettucine alfredo? tortellini?, mmm, ravioli!, omg there’s so many choices, do I want shrimp scampi?, no, I’ll stink later, maybe just a salad, oh wait everyone else is getting a meal, you know what, I’ll just have the chicken parm!”
    And did you order it like Sally? “I’ll have the chicken parm, but only if it’s free-range chicken, if not, then I’ll just have the chicken, not the parm, and not ziti on the side, linguini, and not too much sauce or it will be soggy, and on my salad, I’ll have balsamic, only if it’s made with fresh basil, but if not, I’ll have it anyway, but on the side. Unless you have home-made vinaigrette.”
    Ok, maybe *I’m* nuts but I didn’t think my college roommate had one tube-ridden eye. At least not before I met her.

    Like

  13. Oh dear. I am always disappointed when people order chicken parm. It seems like a person is overwhelmed with choices and panics and just goes with the chicken parm. I don’t know; to me it seems like the safety net of the menu. “Hmm, let’s see, fettucine alfredo? tortellini?, mmm, ravioli!, omg there’s so many choices, do I want shrimp scampi?, no, I’ll stink later, maybe just a salad, oh wait everyone else is getting a meal, you know what, I’ll just have the chicken parm!”
    And did you order it like Sally? “I’ll have the chicken parm, but only if it’s free-range chicken, if not, then I’ll just have the chicken, not the parm, and not ziti on the side, linguini, and not too much sauce or it will be soggy, and on my salad, I’ll have balsamic, only if it’s made with fresh basil, but if not, I’ll have it anyway, but on the side. Unless you have home-made vinaigrette.”
    Ok, maybe *I’m* nuts but I didn’t think my college roommate had one tube-ridden eye. At least not before I met her.

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  14. In fact, PAULA, I have never had chicken parm in my life until last night. I am more of a fettucine alfredo kind of a gal. Also, I went to the bother of looking at the menu before I got there and selecting it ahead of time. Which may be crazy. It may be I-imagine-my-roommate-will-have-an-eye-tube crazy.

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  15. Pre-meditated chicken parm is ok. Flustered, omg, it’s-my-turn-to-order chicken parm is never satisfying. Even the chicken feels cheated.

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  16. Pre-meditated chicken parm is ok. Flustered, omg, it’s-my-turn-to-order chicken parm is never satisfying. Even the chicken feels cheated.

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  17. Pre-meditated chicken parm is ok. Flustered, omg, it’s-my-turn-to-order chicken parm is never satisfying. Even the chicken feels cheated.

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  18. You’re Italian, aren’t you, Paula? My friend Renee, who is Italian, saw my Lean Cuisine spaghetti in the freezer and you’d think I shot her grandmother.

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  19. Heeeeeeeee!
    My husband is Italian. (Actually, he’s half Italian and half Swedish. So he’s got this Italian last name and he’s tall and … well, he was blond but now we’re OLD … but he’s Nordic, viking-looking.)
    Never underestimate those Scandihoovian genes — both kids are blond, too. WITH the Italian last name!

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  20. Heeeeeeeee!
    My husband is Italian. (Actually, he’s half Italian and half Swedish. So he’s got this Italian last name and he’s tall and … well, he was blond but now we’re OLD … but he’s Nordic, viking-looking.)
    Never underestimate those Scandihoovian genes — both kids are blond, too. WITH the Italian last name!

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  21. Heeeeeeeee!
    My husband is Italian. (Actually, he’s half Italian and half Swedish. So he’s got this Italian last name and he’s tall and … well, he was blond but now we’re OLD … but he’s Nordic, viking-looking.)
    Never underestimate those Scandihoovian genes — both kids are blond, too. WITH the Italian last name!

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  22. Y’all are cracking me up with the food bickering. “In fact, PAUlA…” 🙂 Hee. I’m half Greek, and I would have done the same thing, going to a dinner with a whole bunch of NEW PEOPLE, aaaaugh. I’m so glad you had so much fun!

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  23. How the heck would you come up with the senario that your roommate missing an eye?? And even if she was, why would there be a hole there? With an IV tube sticking out?? What the heck good would an IV do for a hole where your eye goes??

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  24. I get the same way about new situations. Last night my husband and I went to a wine tasting fundraiser with the Shriners.I was sooo nervous that I would drink too much and talk them out of their funny little hats and drive their funny little cars.dang it! never even got close.

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  25. If we are gonna quote Steel Magnolias then I think this would be a good one – just not sure in what context – but here is a good’un:
    Drum: Ouiser you look like hammered shit.
    Ouiser Boudreaux: Don’t you talk to me like that!
    Drum: Oh,I’m sorry you look like regular shit.
    June, ya know we love ya more than our luggage.
    ps: my hubby can match you with imagining the worst. #1 son can still remember the scenario dreamed up when he didn’t contact us for a whole month while in the Navy.

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  26. Lord, I surely hope this doesn’t offend anyone…
    June, I have to confess that something from Steel Magnolias was the first thing that came to my mind when you wrote that you walked into that room feeling like Ozzy Osbourne etc. – they didn’t make you eat a live chicken on your first visit!
    (Y’all please forgive me for my heathen sense of humor)

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  27. All the time? I googled eye tube and this was the first image result. I don’t think that’s what you were anticipating. Although, for someone like Hulk, a roommate of this nature would be appreciated I’m sure.
    https://www.clubwearcentral.com/images/107%20Red.jpg
    Also, I’m glad you are out of your funk and posted. I was very sad this morning when a new post wasn’t there and I thought you were leaving the internets.

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  28. About Last Night was one of my favorite movies – “Dan, Dan, Dan!” I used to know many of the lines by heart which is so very sad, I know. Actually, I think I might even own that movie.
    Anyway, it was great to meet you! You are so funny and warm. Last night was such a treat for sure!
    By the way, my husband is totally on board with getting the dog’s DNA. So, I don’t have to compromise with him. 😉

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  29. June it was so nice to meet you! You are just as hysterical in person. Felt like I’d known you forever. I will stop lurking & leave a comment now and again! 🙂

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  30. For Janel:
    [Danny tells Bernie that he told Debbie he loves her]
    Bernie: Ooohhhh! Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!
    [pauses]
    Bernie: Who said it first?
    Danny: I did.
    Bernie: Ooohhhh! Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!
    [pauses]
    Bernie: Was it before you came, or after?
    I disagree with you Junie-I thought this was a GREAT movie. Now, don’t be going all ballistic and into depressed mode again because someone had a different opinion than you, you INTOLERANT WHORE!

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  31. You are hysterical! This post made me laugh out loud….
    It was such a pleasure meeting you the other night. I was so entertained by your sense of humor and I knew right away that I would like you when you walked in and announced you had your cat’s hair in your mouth.

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  32. I also will try and find the menu online and figure out what I might want to eat ahead of time, if I’m going to be out with new people and don’t want them to see me hemming and also hawing about what to eat. Because apparently every time I order food it’s my last meal or something.
    Also, there is nothing wrong with a good chicken parm, as long as it doesn’t suck.

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  33. I love Italian. Really, I do. Love me some Italian food. Fettucini alfredo is my absolute favorite. I hurt myself on in always. And every time we go to an Italian restaurant I always vow to try something new. But…..I always get the same thing….fettucini alfredo. But now I know for next time that I can have the chicken parm….Thanks, June!

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