Shining star

Do you wanna know who's been bugging me lately?

Marvin

Marvin.

I know I told you about how I wanted to tour that mansion on our anniversary, and he acted all into it until the day of, and then he said, "Yeah, we can tour that mansion. Unless you want to go somewhere else."

Okay, Manny P. Lative called. Wants his subtle moves back.

For a week now, my friend The Other June and I were planning to see Where the Wild Things Are tonight, and her fiance was also interested in seeing it, so then Marvin said he'd go too. Then as we were driving there, he said, "Why do we have to see THAT movie?"

Really? Cause you were, like, the LAST person out of the four of us who was invited. Are you really thinking we're all gonna CHANGE UP our plans now? Yeesch.

Sexyshortsmarv
Wow. That picture is really crooked.

Plus also too, the other night I called Marvin to tell him I was on my way home from the blogger dinner I went to, which clearly was the most important evening of my whole life because this is the third time I've mentioned it in this blog.

I told him about the faithful reader I met who figured out what town TinyTown was, which is similarly the most important thing that ever happened to me in my life because it's the 89th time I have mentioned it, as well. But when I told Marvin about it on Saturday night, it was the first time I told the story and it was still exciting news to me.

"Yeah," Marvin said, after I told him ONE SENTENCE of the story. "But we don't live in Tiny Town anymore, so…"

Okay.

Does your male other do that, if you have a male other, seeing as I do not want to offend the relationship-less or the persistent lesbians or any other kind of lesbian out there, and this sentence is only funny if you read my comments?

Because Marvin does this all the time. He STAMPEDES for the "clever" comment, which in reality only serves to dismiss the rest of my story BEFORE I HAVE EVEN FINISHED IT.

I pointed out to Marvin that he was killing my buzz by cutting off my stories like that and he said, "But there's always another story right behind it" and SEE WHAT I MEAN?

Adultmarv 

Exhibit 3:

I was at my vanity, putting on makeup the other day, and I said, "Uh-oh."

"What's wrong?" asked Marvin, who you'll be shocked to hear was in the room playing with a guitar.

"I guess I'm out of under-eye concealer," I reported.

"So people will be able to see your under-eyes?"

Sigh.

At any rate, tonight I told Marvin that YES, we were going to see Where the Wild Things Are and if he didn't want to see that movie he shouldn't have come along. It was raining cats and cats outside, and all I could think of was how large my hair was growing as we got our tickets. I hustled inside and headed, hypnotized, to the concession stand, because why so plump? As I made the crucial choice between crappy processed nachos or saturated coconut oil popcorn, I kind of noticed Marvin was not present, so I turned around.

In the lobby of the theater, there was a giant, giant star shape making up the whole carpet. In the very middle of the star was a circle. Marvin was just standing there in the circle, completely still, waiting until I finally noticed him. He looked ridiculous. It was like every tip on the star was pointing right at him. Only Marvin would notice that stupid pattern in the carpet.

I started laughing, and guffawing, and bending over in that hysterical way that makes everyone look at you, and Marvin just stayed in the star.

Sometimes I remember why I picked Marvin.

(P.S. I liked the movie, and I sat next to The Other June, so when it was over, I asked Marvin, "Did you cry at the end?"

"Yeah, I cried," he said. "I cried that I spent 20 bucks to see that shitty movie.")

47 thoughts on “Shining star

  1. First, first, first- that’s a first for me to get to be your first commenter today *(although I don’t comment every day – geesh, I have a life, you know!)
    Anyhow, atr you sure you didn’t see that movie with my husband cause that’s for sure exactly what he would have said at the end too. Men ARE from Mars.

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  2. I have a different problemo with my husband. I seem to have to repeat my stories a second or third time because he is not listening. I quite often answer myself just to make a point.
    BUT, he makes me laugh. Just when I want to take a meat cleaver to his juggular, he does/says something hilarious. Gets him off the hook each time.
    I keep telling my 15 yr. old son to choose a spouse with a great sense of humor. However, I fear he will choose great tatas.

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  3. OH EM GEE, how key-yoooot was Marvin?
    My “male other” won’t go to the movies. He says he can sleep at home for free. Sigh.

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  4. OH EM GEE, how key-yoooot was Marvin?
    My “male other” won’t go to the movies. He says he can sleep at home for free. Sigh.

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  5. OH EM GEE, how key-yoooot was Marvin?
    My “male other” won’t go to the movies. He says he can sleep at home for free. Sigh.

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  6. I would have thought Marvin would have identified with Max, as he seems to be totally the kind of boy who would have been sent to his room without any supper for being rambunctious and smart-mouthed.
    Marvin, you ARE that sh***y movie.

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  7. Do the ads reflect your blog post? Because, there is a huge Tassimo ad running & it keeps flashing “together is better”….
    What did YOU think of the movie? My artsy friends liked it, my “normal” friends hated it.
    ~misschell-forever in Blue Jeans Babe

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  8. I took Hulkette to that movie. While I was glad to see actual actors and live action in a movie for a change, I also did not think it was that good a movie. The hidden message I think was (is) too deep for kids to get. And James Gandolfini…could you blow your nose please?? All that wheezing thru the nostrils…Joe Pesci and/or Robert DeNiro would have whacked you in the first five minutes of “Goodfellas” just for all the nose-whistling…

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  9. My husband picks the most inconsequential part of the story to comment on. For example: I tell him how our daughter, the waitress, was serving some shrimp gumbo to a guy and tripped, spilling it all over him. And then how she cleaned it up and the guy was so nice and tipped really well in spite of wearing his lunch. After all that, he asks, “When did they start serving shrimp gumbo?”
    Then there are the days he makes me laugh. Unfortunately, it usually involves him falling off a ladder or something.

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  10. I know EXACTLY what you mean! I think there is a secret school they go to when they are about to become husbands that teach these annoyances.
    I loved, loved, loved seeing Marvin grow up right before my eyes in today’s blog! Such a cutie pie, he was. And I will go ahead and be the first to comment on how frigging SHORT his shorts are in the middle picture. Who wears short shorts? Marvin! That’s who.
    Hulk, I agree completely on that nose whistling. He drove me crazy with that nonsense on the Sopranos. I kept thinking how sad it would be for a big-time gangster man to be taken out by sleep apnea instead of getting popped by Jimmy the Weasel. đŸ™‚

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  11. I saw the midnight opening of MJ’s “This Is It” last night? Seeing as how Marvin used to work for MJ he will most likely want to see that movie, right? It was very good but don’t tell Marvin. Let him think you don’t want to see it and tell him it was shitty. See how HE likes it! Turn the tables so to speak.

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  12. That first picture of Marvin circa 1978? I love how his super-confident sportcoat fist-clutch screams “Ladies Man.” Why do I suddenly want to watch Eight Is Enough reruns?

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  13. Now see Kahuna will listen to my 4 hour story then say and then what happened. I’ll look at him and say “no that’s it. That is the end of my story.” He will look at me and shrug and go on about something else. Drives me crazy! WHAT DO YOU MEAN AND THEN WHAT? I just told you a 4 hour story complete with what we ate and wore and what color the lady at the booth behind me’s toenails were and you ask me AND THEN WHAT?!?

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  14. Not much bugs me about the Hud, but lately I have been afflicted with the side effects of menopause. It has robbed me of vocabulary. I am newly stupid. In the middle of a story, I will have to stop and ask, “You know who I mean. The middle sized older one, long hair, sweet face?” He’ll ask, “You mean our dog, Carmen?”
    Only now he jumps on every intake of breath as an excuse to play this particular guessing game. It will go on and on until I say, “This will go a lot faster if you will just let me finish.”
    Argh. Men. They give me pause.

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  15. Not much bugs me about the Hud, but lately I have been afflicted with the side effects of menopause. It has robbed me of vocabulary. I am newly stupid. In the middle of a story, I will have to stop and ask, “You know who I mean. The middle sized older one, long hair, sweet face?” He’ll ask, “You mean our dog, Carmen?”
    Only now he jumps on every intake of breath as an excuse to play this particular guessing game. It will go on and on until I say, “This will go a lot faster if you will just let me finish.”
    Argh. Men. They give me pause.

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  16. Not much bugs me about the Hud, but lately I have been afflicted with the side effects of menopause. It has robbed me of vocabulary. I am newly stupid. In the middle of a story, I will have to stop and ask, “You know who I mean. The middle sized older one, long hair, sweet face?” He’ll ask, “You mean our dog, Carmen?”
    Only now he jumps on every intake of breath as an excuse to play this particular guessing game. It will go on and on until I say, “This will go a lot faster if you will just let me finish.”
    Argh. Men. They give me pause.

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  17. I would have SO lusted after Marvin in 8th grade. Whew…he’s hot. What was the occasion for the picture? Had to be an occasion since he’s wearing a boo-ta-neer (I don’t have clue how to spell that, and I’m not sure about occasion either).

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  18. At least he doesn’t say, Just cut to the chase or Give me the bottom line which mine has been known to throw out in the middle of me telling him an important story. If he even begins to utter those words I give him the evil eye and remind him that I’m not his employee. He will then say something along the lines of, ‘well if you were my employee I’d have to put you on a peformance plan’ which is when we both crack up because he’s right. It’s a very good thing he’s funny.

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  19. My “other male” drives me crazy too with the same type of stuff. Especially that last comment about the crying over the $20.
    What kind of guitar does he have there in the present day picture? I am all about acoustic guitars – it is my latest obsession. I see now why people collect them.

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  20. I loved my Spirograph.
    Also too, I kept wanting to tell everyone that 1970s Tommy Bradshaw picture of Marvin is from his official bar mitzvah photo collection, which is quite a collection indeed. Have I mentioned it’s torture I can’t reply to comments anymore?

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  21. Oh, and when we had different colored ballpoint pens to use. The best.
    I have been to a couple of all-out bar mitzvah receptions. But after witnessing the amount of Hebrew those 13-year-olds had to learn, I was really impressed with the whole process. Totally explains the fist in the photo.
    Marvin got a bar mitzvah, and my soon-to-be 13-year-old son just might get a Spirograph. Sucks to be a gentile.

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  22. Oh June, I got one of those kind too. Guitar and everything. MINE, mine was voted WITTIEST in our high school yearbook. 22 years ago. Really? Can we let it go now? Wittiest, pfffhttt….

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  23. Were there boys on the Eight is Enough Show? All I remember is attractive women on the show. I think I called Beth, Abby the other day-something about big hair I think.
    I did not have a spirograph as a child, so brand new sneaks fresh from the store are a big thrill for me.

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  24. LOL! I love everything about the second photo. The ’80s geometric print shirt, the awesome phone, the short-shorts, what looks like a digital watch… And is there possibly guy-make-up involved ala Bowie? (Could just be the lighting.)
    You’re right. They do manage to redeem themselves from time to time.

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  25. I’m sorry but …the under eye concealer comment from Marvin? I had to keep from laughing out loud so that I don’t wake my male other out of his snoring coma. It’s good to get a reminder of why we picked our other now and then. You know. So they don’t end up buried in the backyard.

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