Do you find your dog crunching things all the time and you have no idea what they're eating and you just pray to God it's not glass or an ornament hook or a cat's leg? Or is that just me?
Anyway. I hope everybody's back and done NOT READING ME now. This was a dismal weekend for reader numbers. Stupid holidays.
All of our family members are now back in their respective homes and it's just Marvin and me again. Marvin went to Costco last night to buy enormous containers of things in an attempt to save money, and all this has led me to do is make fun of our groceries. "Do we have any ketchup?" I'll ask, holding a bottle of ketchup that's taller than me.
"Hey, is there any apple juice?" I'll ask, leaning into the fridge, where there are 7,000 bottles of apple juice.
How fun must it be to live with me?
Today I must proof proof proofread that statistics book, as I am about 60 pages behind where I wanted to be with that thing. I was entertaining, you know. And I don't just mean I was asking about ketchup bottles.
Is there anyone out there who's done with their Christmas shopping? Because the rest of us would like to hate you.
Oh! But that reminds me! I have an idea for Christmas!
I have a lot of friends. I am not just saying that so you'll envy me, with my friends and my clock radio and the clock in my car. I know. I have it all. The REASON I mention I have a lot of friends is I could end up spending $10,000 at Christmas if I exchanged gifts with everyone. So a few years ago, instead of exchanging that shitty candle one more year, we all decided to exchange good deeds instead.
For example, one of my friends put a quarter in every parking meter down one street, so no one parking would run out of time. Once I paid for the bagels for the threesome behind me in line. I don't mean they were having a threesome in line. You know what I mean.
Any kind gesture will work. You could tell someone she looks pretty even though she never really does. You could open the door for someone schlepping a baby stroller through a door. Whatever.
What I am proposing is we have kindness exchange right here on this blog. Let's say you are Faithful Reader Culpepper. Culpepper comments here and says "I'm in!" and then the next person says, "Okay, Culpepper, I'm in with you!" and the two of you exchange a good deed. You each write back here and tell me what your good deed was by December 25.
Does that make sense? Tell me you're in and note the person before you to exchange with, and I will make a little list here on my blog.
Are you in?
Please don't leave any more "I'm in!" comments here. Go to my lastest post and tell me there, so I can match you with someone.