Friends · June's stupid life

Expecting. To smell everything.

My friend Renee is pregnant again. Renee is my LA friend, but right when Marvin and I moved to North Carolina, she and her husband moved to Maui. Yes, Maui. Yes, I hate her too. And now she's knocked up on Maui. I met Renee in 2000, when she and I were both training for… Continue reading Expecting. To smell everything.

Beauty products · Family · June's stupid life

Old paint

Okay. That holiday's over. Hellooooooo, Christmas! Totally made my Jewish mother-in-law help me decorate today. I know I have sent her straight to Jewish hell or wherever. I don't even know if Jewish people have hell. Do they? Nice knowledge of my husband's religion. Obviously, as you can see from the hot mess in front… Continue reading Old paint

Family · Food and Drink · June's stupid life · My pets

My Thanksgiving, by June Gardens Gardensalad GonnaEatThat Cutoff Cash. Oh, just say June.

I hope y'all are satisfated. Which is a combo of satisfied and sated. I know I am. In fact, I could drift right off. I promise we are not about to have a dream sequence. I did a lot of cleaning before the family got here. Henry supervised. He was a tough critic. As someone… Continue reading My Thanksgiving, by June Gardens Gardensalad GonnaEatThat Cutoff Cash. Oh, just say June.

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life · My pets

‘N

I have several odds and ends to clear up today, both on this blog and in real life. Or odds 'n ends, cause you know how I like that. Especially how the apostrophe goes just at the front, like it is short for "an." Or "in." Like "and" is such a big word, you have to abbreviate it… Continue reading ‘N

Friends · June's stupid life

Mr. Potter

Yesterday, I schlepped out to a pottery festival because my friend-since-seventh-grade, Peppy Whitemore, told me to meet him there. Peppy Whitemore? In 1980? Told me to look at a girl from our high school when she was in the shower after gym? I had to report back to him every detail. And I did it.… Continue reading Mr. Potter

June's stupid life · Marvin · My pets

Romeo and Juliet. Except for the part where they like each other.

Marvin and I are meeting a friend at 10:00, so I asked him to set the alarm at 8:00 so I could get my bouffant in working order and such. When the alarm came on, Marvin made every song into something about the dog, who he was holding, and who kept looking at me with… Continue reading Romeo and Juliet. Except for the part where they like each other.

Family · June's stupid life · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

Wicked dog

So, tomorrow I am getting a textbook to proofread, which is wonderful and everything, but of COURSE I am getting a huge, difficult TEXTBOOK on STATISTICS to proofread right before Thanksgiving, in which 394858 of my relatives are coming. Okay, four. Four of my relatives are coming. Still. So I have to think about cleaning… Continue reading Wicked dog

Current Affairs · June's stupid life · My pets

Cute. And also humpy.

Am I a bad cat parent because I photographed our male cat getting humped by our female dog, rather than rescuing said male cat? Look at the resigned expression Winston has. Another day, another violation. And let's talk about how much I like Tallulah's new collar, courtesy of Faithful Reader Tanya. It really complements this… Continue reading Cute. And also humpy.

June's stupid life · Marvin

Today is a birthday. They’re smoking cigars.

Whenever Marvin gets ahold of my iPod, which sounds like it might be dirty but isn't, he puts the following song on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf79oyWWtkQ In case you are at work and can't jam out to my tune, there, some of the lyrics are: I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down… Continue reading Today is a birthday. They’re smoking cigars.

June's stupid life · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog. With gas.

I would have slept in later, but Tallulah had gas. You know how they sell those alarm clocks that just flash brighter and brighter light at you? They could totally make a Tallulah-ate-part-of-my-barbecue-last-night alarm.So I never did get any work yesterday, which naturally makes me think I will NEVER get any work and we will… Continue reading You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog. With gas.

June's stupid life · Marvin · Proofreading/Copy editing

At last

Wouldn't it be hilarious if I called in sick to my old job right now? So, here I am. Day one of being unemployed. If anyone DOES send me work today, I won't get it until at least 11:00, because that's 8:00 in Los Angeles. So, sigh. The first thing that happened was I heard… Continue reading At last

Family · Friends · June's stupid life

Don’t be tardy for Tank’s party

Last night my friend Tank, the miracle angel baby, had a party. It was his birthday. So I guess you could say he had a birthday party.See how I can put two and two together, there? Here is me and my cleavage on the way to Tank's party. Why didn't Marvin tell me I was… Continue reading Don’t be tardy for Tank’s party

June's stupid life · Proofreading/Copy editing

Gone. At 10, 2, and 3.

Well, now I'm kind of sad. Turns out? A lot of people really liked me at that job. Even the woman whose first-edition signed book was eaten by Tallulah? Came to my going-away lunch and came back again on my last day. I walked with a group of people at that job, every day at… Continue reading Gone. At 10, 2, and 3.

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Whose stupid idea was it to quit my job, anyway?

  You guys don't ask for obligatory Henry pictures anymore, now that he's a catten. When he was a teensy thing you clamored for shots of him all the time. And look down there--there's Frannie's head. Aw. Poor Fran. Also too, that horrid mess on the table back there? It was all our bathroom stuff… Continue reading Whose stupid idea was it to quit my job, anyway?

Family · June's stupid life · Weblogs

Dr. Dreee

The other day, I went on Facebook--and what is the world coming to, that people are BLOGGING about what they say in FACEBOOK? It's like when talk-show hosts interview each other. Anyway, I announced to the world of Facebook that I think Dr. Drew is hot. I thought I was alone in this, but it… Continue reading Dr. Dreee

June's stupid life · Weblogs

Because it’s Veterans Day, and because there are dogs involved

Go look at this blog. It's video after video of dogs greeting their owners, who are returning soldiers. You will weep. And really? Not one cat was happy to see their owner? Yeah. Probably not. See the dramatic video of a cat giving a soldier the silent treatment for a week.

June's stupid life · Proofreading/Copy editing

Wherein June uses the F word twice

It is raining like the Dickens here, whatever that means. I can't see a ding-dang thing when I drive in the rain. Would everyone like to come along on my drive to work? And YES, since 6,000 of you have asked, this IS my last week of work. Faithful Reader Hulk asked if I was… Continue reading Wherein June uses the F word twice