Because what’s more compelling than someone else’s vacation pictures?

I have some photos from my trip back to Michigan, and I'm certain you're on the edge of your seat, there.

And by the way, when I'm on Facebook and I see someone's friend using the wrong "your," would it be okay if I just left a comment saying "YOU'RE!"? Or would that be obnoxious?

Let's stop pondering that moral quandary and stampede to my photographs, shall we?

Jim

Here is a recent picture of my Uncle Jim and me. They say you regress when you go home.

Okay, I'm like four, which would make my–let's admit it, really hot–Uncle Jim about 14. And what a twinkle toes I already was. Get me out on that dance floor! White much?

Anyway, the pictures I'm about to show you are all LEADING UP to the Halloween party, because my camera went dead just as soon as I got into my Mom costume. But fret not, because I dashed out and got a disposable camera, and am waiting for the pictures to get developed. Because apparently it's 1997.

UNCLEleoSince all of you seemed to enjoy my Uncle Leo stories, here is a photo of my shiny forehead and my uncle. We tried three times, and each time he had a goofy expression. I do not know what to tell you. Uncle Leo would assure you he's cuter than this.

Kathybill

Here's the reason I have an Uncle Leo. No, these aren't his parents. That's my Aunt Kathy, who has a holiday sweater for every occasion, or perhaps this is an "I need an exterminator" sweater. Anyway, she married my Uncle Leo, then she divorced my Uncle Leo, then she married my Uncle Bill, who is a real trooper about the part where we kept Uncle Leo in the divorce. They are all friends. It is all very modern. We are so sophisticated. Smell us.

Walklikeharry Case in point. Because what's more sophisticated than my stepfather walking like an Egyptian?

Creepymom My mother has had a little work done. You can't tell, really.

Devgus Returning to the relatively normal people in my family, here is my Uncle Jim's grandson, Devon, and my mother's dog. I love how Gus is grinning up at Devon. Or preparing to eat his throat out. Whichever.

Zonechicks Here we all are watching those Twilight Zone episodes I told you about. Notice I have an orb on my chest. Am I dying of something?

Waldo Anyway. Halloween finally got here and mom and I went out to get our wigs to dress up as each other. Here is some coffee shop kid dressed as Waldo. So if you were wondering where he was, taa-daa.

Momwig We had no issue whatsoever finding the appropriate wigs. Mom was insulted that I got a man's wig to be her. I am insulted that I have an ax wound in the middle of my forehead, but what are you gonna do? Nice wrinkle. I'll be pouring salt in it later and serving crudities. Bring your appetite!

Junewigmom Before.

Momhair After. I told mom she looks like every woman in the South.

Hulknme Naturally we had to put on our wigs and stampede over to Hulk's house, where he promptly put on the June wig. Look, I have an orb again, on my abdomen. I'm doomed. Also? Hulk could not look more like Sammy Hagar. And I could not look more like Jamie Lee Curtis. With an orb.

Annnnd scene. This is right about when the camera died. So you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see that actual Halloween partayy.

I was glad to get home and see my feline- and canine-Americans. When I was gone, Manly Marvin put in a new sink and got a little basket for the bathroom floor, and he decided we could store toilet paper in said basket.

Toiletlu Guess who saw less of a storage space and more of a smorgasbord?

54 thoughts on “Because what’s more compelling than someone else’s vacation pictures?

  1. I think mom-June looks more like Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister, when he still had hair to be called a big hair band. The pics are great, but let’s talk about that super-cool haircut you had at four. You can rock some bangs, now! Love the sassy flip.
    I used to correct my old boyfriend’s love letters and send them back to him. I’m not sure why we broke up.

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  2. June, looking at that picture with Hulk, I think you might look super cute with short hair. I think Jamie Lee Curtis looks amazing.
    Does Hulk always sport shoulder pads, or was that part of his costume?
    He looks like a blonde Weird Al Yankovic!

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  3. First, let me say that Hulk is indeed a cutie and love that Buckeye jersey!
    Second, I’m sorry Lula chewed up the TP. But after the week of present chewing and shoe gnawing that has been going on around here, I can only conclude it must be the full moon.
    Thirdly and lastly, you rock the short hair!

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  4. Hulk did not have on shoulder pads, I swear…he is just that manly.
    Alas, Hulk also was NOT just finishing a powdered doughnut…his beard is THAT gray…*sigh*

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  5. I don’t know about correcting the grammatical errors of friends of friends, but I personally have started a campaign of correcting my daughter’s atrocious spelling on facebook. Granted she had little chance of being a good speller seeing as she related to her dad and me, but at least she could care enough to correct the mistakes highlighted by spell check.

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  6. I believe I told you quite a while ago I liked you with short hair & now i am sure of it! Not the color so much (although, gray is a shade, not a color) but the short with bangs- all good!!

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  7. Your hair was looking fabulous this weekend! I can tell you’ve been using the Chi.
    This facebook error drives me bonkers- alot. When is alot ever, EVER a word?!

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  8. I saw a Waldo kid here in Boston, too! That Waldo really gets around, doesn’t he?
    The Lula with the toilet paper in her mouth is priceless.

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  9. Waldo KILLED me. Also I like the bridal spray or whatever Hulk is sporting, too.
    I correct my daughter’s spelling and punctuation errors on FB all the time mostly to p*ss her off/embarass her. But crimonently, I paid through the NOSE for her f***ing education, she can’t rock an apostrophe once in a while? Good G**damn! But I don’t correct my friends because they already think (KNOW) that I’m a bitch.

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  10. Waldo KILLED me. Also I like the bridal spray or whatever Hulk is sporting, too.
    I correct my daughter’s spelling and punctuation errors on FB all the time mostly to p*ss her off/embarass her. But crimonently, I paid through the NOSE for her f***ing education, she can’t rock an apostrophe once in a while? Good G**damn! But I don’t correct my friends because they already think (KNOW) that I’m a bitch.

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  11. Waldo KILLED me. Also I like the bridal spray or whatever Hulk is sporting, too.
    I correct my daughter’s spelling and punctuation errors on FB all the time mostly to p*ss her off/embarass her. But crimonently, I paid through the NOSE for her f***ing education, she can’t rock an apostrophe once in a while? Good G**damn! But I don’t correct my friends because they already think (KNOW) that I’m a bitch.

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  12. I love the photo of Lula! My dogs never went for toilet paper, but they sure do love Kleenex and dryer sheets. My weimaraner, Mr., pulls paper our of the printer and eats it. I had no idea Marvin was so handy and could install sinks!

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  13. I have been wondering the same thing about correcting other commenters on my fb friends’ pages. It seems a little snarky, but if I were in the same room with them I would probably tell them. ‘Cause I hate to tell you this, Miss Paula H&B, but you ain’t the only bitch at this party!!
    I love Tallulah’s face trying to look all innocent when she has actual EVIDENCE on her lip! Ha! Love it!
    I seem to have run out of excitement points again.

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  14. Somehow I knew Hulk wasn’t wearing shoulder pads… he’s a man’s man. HELLO–no pads needed thankyouverymuch.
    What? No pictures of Hot Uncle Jim? I blame Sue.
    You are the orb woman! You must be much loved from the other world.
    Lula eating TP! Priceless. Does that save a step when it comes out the other end? One of my puppies once ate dental floss… I had to “extract” it from the other end… was not fun. I blame Sue.

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  15. Thanks for the pictures. Cut your hair. You are super cute with short hair. The ax mark in your forehead can be filled in with Restylene (believe me and my first hand knowledge). You were a cute little girl and I love your sophisticated family.

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  16. First and most pressing on my mind. Are those pumpkins on your step Dad’s tie?
    B. I was not crushing on Hulk….till now. I knew he was all Hulky with his shoulders but NO ONE mentioned the gray in the beard. YOW. Seriously.
    Tres. Uncle Leo? Adorable.
    4. You and your mlother look more alike than I realized.
    Fifth. Devon is looking like he is being tortured. Being forced to sit in the grown up chair, listening to grown ups crack themselves up with their twilight watching, costume wearing selves. I bet someone was drinking a vodka gimlet too. Bless his pea pickin heart.

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  17. Love your Aunt Kathy’s civilized divorce. Love Uncle Leo and the saintly Uncle Bill. Love your 4-year-old self and the hot Uncle Jim. Love Hulk’s hulkiness. Love your short hair. Love your mom’s long hair. Love your orbs.
    Have I forgotten anything?

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  18. Yes I did forget some thing(s)…Love Devon and Waldo and your Aunt Kathy’s spider sweater. Does she have a turkey one for Thanksgiving?

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  19. Feed Lulah rubber bands that way you can just shoot them across the fence into the neighbors yard (thank you George Carlin).
    Can’t wait to see the party pictures. You and your mom are too funny. 🙂

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  20. While your whole family rocks, orbs are the coolest. I was in Europe last year and the pictures I took at Notre Dame and the Louvre came out with tons of orbs floating around. Congratulations, June, this means you’re a historical landmark.

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  21. I had no idea Hulk was so… big. Also, I love Uncle Leo. If your family ever decides to kick him out, I’ll adopt him. I can’t wait to see pictures of the party.

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  22. Amen Angela.
    Who’s that hot hunk of man meat??? Wait! That’s no man, baby. That’s June in a man wig. Oh, just kidding. Hulk is totally a hot hunk of man meat. GROWL!
    The orbs must be someone departed from you. Maybe your Gramma. Who wanted you to be at the airport during both photos because you had a plane to catch on Tuesday. Or perhaps someone else. I blame Sue.

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  23. Ugh. My Carmen is always munching out on the TP. But I suppose that’s better than when she snacks from the cat litter box. I swear, if those things are so darn tasty, I want to market them as “Tootsie Poos! Now With Litter Crunchies!”
    On the other hand (same hand?), our Zoe will eat anything including golf balls. She can crack them in half. When she dies, we’re gonna’ get her autopsied just to see. It will be like opening the belly of a shark –a license plate, twelve golf balls, the gear shift from my old Camry, the antlers of a moose, oh and some toilet paper.
    But I digress…

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  24. Ugh. My Carmen is always munching out on the TP. But I suppose that’s better than when she snacks from the cat litter box. I swear, if those things are so darn tasty, I want to market them as “Tootsie Poos! Now With Litter Crunchies!”
    On the other hand (same hand?), our Zoe will eat anything including golf balls. She can crack them in half. When she dies, we’re gonna’ get her autopsied just to see. It will be like opening the belly of a shark –a license plate, twelve golf balls, the gear shift from my old Camry, the antlers of a moose, oh and some toilet paper.
    But I digress…

    Like

  25. Ugh. My Carmen is always munching out on the TP. But I suppose that’s better than when she snacks from the cat litter box. I swear, if those things are so darn tasty, I want to market them as “Tootsie Poos! Now With Litter Crunchies!”
    On the other hand (same hand?), our Zoe will eat anything including golf balls. She can crack them in half. When she dies, we’re gonna’ get her autopsied just to see. It will be like opening the belly of a shark –a license plate, twelve golf balls, the gear shift from my old Camry, the antlers of a moose, oh and some toilet paper.
    But I digress…

    Like

  26. Oh my word!!!! I was trying to see family resemblance between your mom and you and then she put the wig on!!!!! What a resemblance! Although the hair is more Twisted Sister…..

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  27. I’m sorry to be all spooky but they say (and by they I mean the internet and TV) that orbs captured in pictures are ghosts. Do you feel haunted??

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  28. I have heard the orbs are family members or close friends who aren’t ready to leave yet. Don’t know if I believe it or not, but the person who told me about them swears it is true. He took pictures at his wife’s birthday, his brother had passed away within the last month, and the orb was on his brother’s wife in every picture. I also have a picture of Gettysburg taken in bright sunshine but when the picture was developed there was a gauzy-ghosty fog in front of the fence in the foreground.
    Also, Avon has a new product to fill in deep lines. It is call Anew Clinical Expression Line Filler. So far it seems to work! Maybe I should dare you to try it.

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  29. Love your sophisticated family pics there, June. You look a lot like your mom, except when she’s wearing the mask, of course. Plus also too, I second all the comments about you in short hair. And that Lula and her Rin-Tin-Tin imitation, with remnants of rump dressing gracing her lip – too cute!

    Like

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