Marvin and I are meeting a friend at 10:00, so I asked him to set the alarm at 8:00 so I could get my bouffant in working order and such. When the alarm came on, Marvin made every song into something about the dog, who he was holding, and who kept looking at me with pleading eyes.
Then, "I will follow Lu if she'll follow me, all the days and nights that she knows will be…"
I got up during, "I never wanted, I never wanted to love a dog, the way that I want to love you."
Marvin tends to set the alarm to radio stations he doesn't want to listen to, so he'll have the impetus to get up. His ridiculous love of the dog is all I needed to bolt out of bed.
And speaking of the animals, which I'm sorry to tell you is probably all I'll ever do now that I am home with them and they are my coworkers, we had animal drama last night.
As you know, I am proofreading a statistics textbook, and I have so far worked on it for 6.25 hours and have not even read page 1. Or page i, for that matter. So I'm sitting on my pink chaise lounge, which by the way was originally owned by Loni Anderson, and I know you are impressed by my access to the big stars, and this sentence is the longest sentence in the history of time.
When I work on my pink lounge chair, Francis ALWAYS sits on it with me. That's just the way it is, Walter Cronkite, and 13 years of us doing that is not going to change just because some dreaded DOG now loves me too.
I have not really worked in that pink chair since we got Lula, so she was not abreast of the situation, see.
So I'm proofreading, Francis is on my legs, and Tallulah walks in.
Tallulah and Francis are not what you'd call pals. They are Hatfield and McCoy. They are Sarah Palin and Obama. They are Captain Kangaroo and the ping-pong balls. Remember how Bunny Rabbit would make those ping-pong balls fall from the sky? And they really went to town naming THAT character, by the way. Bunny Rabbit.
So they hate each other. Is what I'm telling you. When Lu was a puppy, Francis let that poor creature know, in VERY POINTED TERMS, that she was not to mess with Francis. Tallulah goes to great pains to look at everything in the room except Francis, just to avoid a confrontation.
But there I was, hour after hour, sitting there with that…that…enemy, and Tallulah couldn't stand it. She wouldn't come up near the top of my chair to let me pet her. She was too afraid. So instead she did this:
for about an hour and 15 minutes. And every time she started a new "Rrrrrooooo," Francis would say, "Hsssssssssssssssssss! GrrrrrrOOOOOOOOORRRRrrrrrr" back.
So that was relaxing, and not at all like I was trying to proofread during an est seminar. I really have no idea if people chanted during est meetings. I kind of just wanted to say est.
Anyway, finally Tallulah's deep and abiding love for me, and also her jealousy, overrode her fear of the Fran. Which is saying something, because even I am a little afraid of the Fran. But she slowly, and not all all distractingly (which is certainly a word), got on my lap.
Believe it or not, we all worked like this for at least an hour. I worked on statistics, and Fran and Lu worked on who was coming out on top in this eternal struggle.
Okay, I am leaving now. Am done talking about my pets.