My Thanksgiving, by June Gardens Gardensalad GonnaEatThat Cutoff Cash. Oh, just say June.

I hope y’all are satisfated. Which is a combo of satisfied and sated. I know I am. In fact, I could drift right off. I promise we are not about to have a dream sequence.

Cleanitupbitch
I did a lot of cleaning before the family got here. Henry supervised. He was a tough critic. As someone who bathes his harble with his own disgusting tongue, I think he has his nerve.

Fam Finally, everyone arrived, and quickly messed up everything I spent 250 hours cleaning. From left is my stepfather Harry, Marvin, my father-in-law and my mother-in-law. They have names, but I call them mother-in-law and father-in-law. Marvin made them watch some movie which started out with a sex scene involving all of us having to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman naked. Which really, really, reminded one of a raw turkey a little too much.

Momscookin

Technically, I was supposed to be making the dinner. Here’s mom, making the dinner.

Someonesinthekitchenwithlula

Oh look, here’s everyone else making the dinner. Hunh. Look, I was PHOTOGRAPHING. For POSTERITY. Note Lula bein’ all helpful. You have never seen such shameless begging.

Minebone

Finally, I gave Tallulah the enormous bone I bought for her, so she’d obsessively chew it and leave us the Sam Hill alone. It worked for several hours. Every time I came near her to photograph her, she was all, “GET HELL AWAY FROM LU! MINE BONE!” Like I’d want that spitty bone.

Closetedfran Our less social animals spent Thanksgiving in the back of the closet. Come out of the closet, Fran. Your family is here for you. Let me pet your–ow!

Henrythanksgiving If you’re gonna have Thanksgiving with me, you just have to accept the fact that a cat’s gonna sit on me at the table. Look how happy everyone is to be associated with me.

Zzzzz
Afterward, Henry slept it off.

Lulahelpits420 Since it was 4:20, everyone rushed right out to smoke a doob. You know how they are. This just left Lula and me to clean up. “Lula help? With her lips?”

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

0 thoughts on “My Thanksgiving, by June Gardens Gardensalad GonnaEatThat Cutoff Cash. Oh, just say June.

  1. Your photo titles crack me up, especially the last one. At least you and Lula were responsible enough to clean up instead of smoking up. Glad you had a nice Thanksgiving! Now go take a well-deserved turkey nap.

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  2. June, I am sorry to report that I must take exception to the statement “you have never seen such shameless begging.” Au contraire: nothing with four feet begs as shamelessly, and dare I say, emotively, as the papillons which infest our home. The folks who say that dogs only make 15 different sounds should hear all this doggerwauling. There really should be some sort of AKC competition for this sort of misbehavior.

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  3. Glad you had a happy turkey time. Did you cook or did you let you momma and momma-in-law do the preparations? I’m already looking forward to our trip to San Francisco for Thanksgiving next year. I will not have to do all the prep, shopping, cleaning and cooking! We’ve hosted Thanksgiving for the last 9 years and I’m POOPED!
    Good food, though!
    Happy day after everybody!

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