Snow point in reading this one

Before I begin with this extremely important post, I'd like to thank everyone who answered my highly scientific survey. It was fun to hear from everyone. I particularly like the stories where someone says "My [insert name of loved one here] told me to read you, so I did." I had no idea so many people were named Insert Name of Loved One Here. It'd be hard to call those people in for dinner.

Second, my Christmas-themed mug of the day also coincides with my theme of the atmosphere.

Wintercoffee

It snowed! And it iced! It's treacherous! Yay!

Those flakes on my mug? They're real. Really that mug is just cream-colored, and that's how big the snowflakes are in front of it.

I did have plans to get my hair colored today, because the snow has apparently hit my roots and stayed there, but my hairdresser called at 8:36 a.m. to see if I was coming in. I told her I could but that my hair was not as important as her life, and if she couldn't get in I could reschedule. Okay, I totally lied. My hair is WAY more important than her life, but it seemed like the nice thing to say.

FrontyardView from my front door. I know if you live somewhere with weather you're all, "That's IT?"

We also have plans tomorrow, plans I have been looking forward to for over a month, and said plans are 90 miles away. I don't know if we can get there or not. The snow part isn't that scary, but the part where it was raining not men but ice all night? Yeah.

In Michigan, every road would be clear now and covered in delightful-for-the-environment salt. During storms, we all go to the road with giant pretzels and crudites and just dip 'em in the street. It's a Michigan tradition. However, the roads here are exactly the way they were last night, and everyone is flapping their manicured hands and patting at themselves with magnolia leaves, totally getting the vapors over what to do to the roads.

And then they go in and make barbecue.

Sometimes I miss the hearty no-nonsense Midwest.

But guess who is delighted about this tundra?

Heartsnowmom
I know this is out of focus, but it's the only one I took where any part of her body is still in the frame. She is TEARING around the back yard like a madwoman. She's part Tibetan spaniel, you know. It snows a lot in Tibet.

We took her for a walk last night, as this storm was coming down. I finished my statistics book and wanted to get it in the FedEx (mention number 38747383) (you know what I'm gonna do? Every time I say "FedEx" I am gonna put it in exciting font, so it really stands out. I'm telling you, ANY DAY NOW, big money. BIIIIIG FedEx money) –let's just start this paragraph over.

See, I was EARLY getting my book back, and I was excited about beating my deadline, but the roads were bad so I decided to walk two or three blocks to the FedEx box and walk the dog at the same time, and the point of this stupid story is that Tallulah pulled like a banshee (not that they are famous for pulling, really) the whole way there, and when I got to the box it said, "Mail has already been picked up due to weather."

And there were a few magnolia leaves scattered near the box.

Coldbirdbutz

The birds are saying, "Where we sit? Buttz chilly."

Okay, I'd better go. The comment of the week is more the conversation of the week, because many of the commenters got all up in this gay porn Santa topic, and just go click on This Week's Special if you want to taint your image of Santa forever.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

48 thoughts on “Snow point in reading this one”

  1. so did you go to get your hair done or not? i have to go back and reread that. anyway. i lived in hampton roads, virginia, for seven years. when it would snow, on a rare occasion, the whole entire area would come to a stand still has VDOT only had three snowplows. really, really. an inch and we were history for the day.
    now i live in denver where pffft..snow? no problem.
    i hope you make your long awaited trip.

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  2. The Banhee and Banshee just came back from snow time. Happy at the yellow snow and…more.

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  3. Kara, I don’t know where you live, but in Toronto, there’s just as much, if not more. There’s a freaking -10 HIGH here, and enough ice so that every adolescent on the block is crashing into someone else because they were ‘skating’. Oh, and did I mention the snow?

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  4. i keep forgetting to post my RAKs. i think terraplane is my partner. having been gone for 8 days i’m behind. but in the past two days – – this elderly woman was on the corner, with a cane and a sign saying she needed help. oh, it was just heartbreaking. i gave her everything that was in my wallet which was awful since (because?) i never carry cash. next day i paid for the car behind me in the sonic drive through. my last RAK was for a woman who returned her dvd to the redbox machine and did not wait to see that it was spit back out. i reconfigured it and popped it back in. oh, and all the people in the last two days who made stupid driving mistakes that i should have totally honked at.

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  5. My dogs go psycho in the snow, just like Lula. They are worse than kids. “Eat snowflake!” “Chase snowflake!” “Look, snowflake!” Over and over and over again.
    I guess I should also specify that I live in Atlanta and this would be the maybe one time a year that we get a flurry.

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  6. Jan~trudging out in the snow today to finish shopping (on the second busiest shopping day of the year) with my HUSBAND!!! (ergh) says:

    I love it when it snows… as long as I can stay inside, in a well worn pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, drinking coffee, making cookies and soup, watching the beautiful snow fall from the sky… And every single time it snows, this is the image in my brain. In reality, I am swearing when I clean off my car, sweep my porch, shovel my walk, clean up the wood floor where all the snowy/salty/muddy boots come in, clean the rug where all the snowy/salty/muddy boots come in, mop the kitchen floor where all the wet clothes and towels get thrown. I usually make something quick and not homemade because I am TOO BUSY cleaning up all the BLASTED FU***** snow that has dirtied up my house.

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  7. Jan~trudging out in the snow today to finish shopping (on the second busiest shopping day of the year) with my HUSBAND!!! (ergh) says:

    I love it when it snows… as long as I can stay inside, in a well worn pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, drinking coffee, making cookies and soup, watching the beautiful snow fall from the sky… And every single time it snows, this is the image in my brain. In reality, I am swearing when I clean off my car, sweep my porch, shovel my walk, clean up the wood floor where all the snowy/salty/muddy boots come in, clean the rug where all the snowy/salty/muddy boots come in, mop the kitchen floor where all the wet clothes and towels get thrown. I usually make something quick and not homemade because I am TOO BUSY cleaning up all the BLASTED FU***** snow that has dirtied up my house.

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  8. Jan~trudging out in the snow today to finish shopping (on the second busiest shopping day of the year) with my HUSBAND!!! (ergh) says:

    I love it when it snows… as long as I can stay inside, in a well worn pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, drinking coffee, making cookies and soup, watching the beautiful snow fall from the sky… And every single time it snows, this is the image in my brain. In reality, I am swearing when I clean off my car, sweep my porch, shovel my walk, clean up the wood floor where all the snowy/salty/muddy boots come in, clean the rug where all the snowy/salty/muddy boots come in, mop the kitchen floor where all the wet clothes and towels get thrown. I usually make something quick and not homemade because I am TOO BUSY cleaning up all the BLASTED FU***** snow that has dirtied up my house.

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  9. This is just me showing you I read on saturday. I want you to know your survey was completey accurate. (Did I spell accurate right?) Does the ? mark go in or out? Ohhh you make me stressed. 🙂

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  10. I finally broke down and bought a heater for the fountain in the backyard a couple of years ago. We had two weeks of twenty degree temps and snow and ice. It was bitter for us, but hey, it’s Memphis. Judge me when you’ve hit 100 for two weeks in the summer, right?
    Anyhoo…The reason for said fountain heater was that the water in it had frozen solid and there was a butt full of bird feathers stuck to the top. (!) I looked for that naked butted bird for weeks to no avail. I don’t know what I thought I’d do if I found it. Apologize? Knit it a cozy diaper? What?

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  11. I finally broke down and bought a heater for the fountain in the backyard a couple of years ago. We had two weeks of twenty degree temps and snow and ice. It was bitter for us, but hey, it’s Memphis. Judge me when you’ve hit 100 for two weeks in the summer, right?
    Anyhoo…The reason for said fountain heater was that the water in it had frozen solid and there was a butt full of bird feathers stuck to the top. (!) I looked for that naked butted bird for weeks to no avail. I don’t know what I thought I’d do if I found it. Apologize? Knit it a cozy diaper? What?

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  12. I finally broke down and bought a heater for the fountain in the backyard a couple of years ago. We had two weeks of twenty degree temps and snow and ice. It was bitter for us, but hey, it’s Memphis. Judge me when you’ve hit 100 for two weeks in the summer, right?
    Anyhoo…The reason for said fountain heater was that the water in it had frozen solid and there was a butt full of bird feathers stuck to the top. (!) I looked for that naked butted bird for weeks to no avail. I don’t know what I thought I’d do if I found it. Apologize? Knit it a cozy diaper? What?

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  13. I feel your pain (because it is also my pain, otherwise I might not notice). We are getting 22 inches of snow. I live a tiny bit north of you.
    To add to this mess, this morning I found a leak under my kitchen sink. I was imagining that I’d have to turn off all the water in the house, sit in the dark and not have heat or cable. (My worries multiply themselves.
    As it is, I do not have the supplies for Christmas dinner and don’t know if I’ll get them. I have to pick up people at the airport on Tuesday. Will the world be right-side up by then?

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  14. I have a cat that will play in the snow. She’s very strange. We got snow and ice last week. She was diving in burying her paws. Also, when snow and ice happens the major freeway is closed to all traffic. I have learned that traveling in winter means possibly be stranded. The huband and I have plans to fly to Pasadena in 10 days and I’m hoping the weather stays “nice” so we can get to the airport.

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  15. Oh, how pretty the snow is! I am from MI, as well, though currently living in TN. I miss snow this time of year. We get it very occasionally here. My dog loves it, too. It is so much fun to watch her in it and I imagine Tallulah reacts similarly. They are just so comical!
    Have fun, make a snowman! Hope you get to go to your intended destination tomorrow.

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  16. I live outside of Baltimore where we are supposed to get somewhere around 30″ of snow today. There is no milk, bread, or toilet paper to be found anywhere in the state. In fact, I think the entire state is closed today. Denver, we are not.
    Please be careful if you venture out on your trip.
    Tallulah acts like my dogs in the snow. Well, except for the beagle. He called it a day around 9 a.m.

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  17. Do your cats ever go outside? I refuse to do the litter box thing, so both of ours are indoor/outdoor types. Not sure how they’d react to snow but since it only flurries down here about once every five years, it’s not a big concern. Rain? They HATE rain.

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  18. Ha – having lived in heavily salted Michigan & here, I’m ok with everyone getting the vapors over what to do with the roads. It just keeps us home finding things to do like making snow people (we opted for Ruby the Snow Woman this time, and she’s a beaut!) Anyway – isn’t the “monster storm” panic lovely? I went to Harris Teeter yesterday with the masses just to witness the hysteria (and buy my obligatory loaf of bread!)

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  19. We didn’t get ANY snow! No plows is a way of life in the south. Hopefully, you will be able to take your trip tomorrow, I’m assuming to Tiny Town. Check the live webcams of the interstate to see if the main roads might have been plowed. My cats is not real fond of the snow. He will venture out and make one trip around the house.

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  20. Here in NY, we await the BLIZZARD OF OH NINE!! Women and children first! Save yourself! Hard to starboard! I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ babies Miss Scarlett! I like a living room you can land a plane in! He’s never going to leave her; you’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right! Stop calling me Shirley!
    Oy.

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  21. Here in NY, we await the BLIZZARD OF OH NINE!! Women and children first! Save yourself! Hard to starboard! I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ babies Miss Scarlett! I like a living room you can land a plane in! He’s never going to leave her; you’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right! Stop calling me Shirley!
    Oy.

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  22. Here in NY, we await the BLIZZARD OF OH NINE!! Women and children first! Save yourself! Hard to starboard! I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ babies Miss Scarlett! I like a living room you can land a plane in! He’s never going to leave her; you’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right! Stop calling me Shirley!
    Oy.

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  23. Being from Ohio, my animals are used to snow. Today I have light flurries in my area.
    One of my past horses was a rescued, off the track thoroughbred. He raced at Hialeah in Florida. He was transported to Ohio in January. This was a fresh off the race track, high strung Thoroughbred that had never experienced snow or cold for that matter. He stepped off the truck and totally freaked out.
    It took him quite awhile before he “got it” that snow wasn’t going to eat him and he could walk on it without being swallowed.

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  24. Yeah, this storm is gonna be a doozy, Paula. Why, Matt Lauer might even take a day off from beating Tiger with his chastity belt. Here in Memphis we fear no snow, but OMG, we quiver and quake over the remotest possibility of another ice storm like the big one in 94. It broke trees and our spirits; most of us were without power for two weeks so we skated over to friends’ homes to shower and get warm
    And yes, lauren, you and I are podnuhs, and I am most impressed with my Christmas gifts. You have definitely made the world around you a better place.

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  25. Hey DB, you are soooo correct they did close the whole state of Maryland. Thank god there is no bread or milk in any store. That being the case there is no need for the lack of TP. The stores were absolutely crazy last night. There were fights, weeping and all sorts of carrying on. Probably similar to the shenanigans near the FedEx pickup in June’s neighborhood. Sheesh the drama of it all. Who noticed June used the word taint and Santa in the same sentence?

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  26. Paula, H&B, shouldn’t that be the BLIZZARD OF AUGHT NINE? My daughter was so disappointed that no one during the past nine years has used that “aught”. She remembers her grandma talking about something that happened in “Aught Three,” meaning 1903. Come on people, lets use the forgotten aught for the next couple of weeks…while we still can. Then we can drive our grandkids nutty by talking about “the blizzard of aught nine!”

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  27. I began to giggle today when I thought how every year when you unpack your Gay Porn Santa you will forever more think of him as Gay Porn Santa.
    Overheard at the mall today by a mid-20’s woman talking to her boyfriend/husband/whatever: “It was more PERFECTER than Wal-Mart.”
    I almost hit the floor.

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  28. Tears were coming out of mine and Yankee’s eyes we were laughing so much at the patting themselves with magnolia leaves part. Since he’s from New York, he has pretty much the same opinion of the way Southerners deal with snow. I am from Mississippi which is the Magnolia State, so I just lie down in my bed of Magnolia petals in my personal hothouse and wait for the snow to melt – the way God intended.

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  29. Hey all of June’s 192 friends from the other day! We (in the closed state of Maryland) finally put up the Christmas tree, shiney, nice, sparkly, etc… Anywho why don’t they make a Christmas tree vibrator/shakey machine. It would be really cool and all the sparkly ornaments and stuff would shimmer. Hmm… shimmer, I’m happy now.

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  30. No snow here. Not a flake in sight well execpt on my black t-shirt that I had on with my SHORTS because it’s 5000 degrees in the shade. Christmas bah humbug. It’s more like May Day.
    PS Have you noticed your comments have taken on a life of their own? They need their own blog. Heck they need their own TV show.

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  31. If I hear that “Christmas shoes” song one more time I’m gonna ……….#### not sure what….ugghh…shoes!?

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  32. It’s just chilly enough here in Texas to feel like Christmas is in the air. I love it. Tomorrow, I may even have to put socks on.
    Hey, Terraplane, I lived in Memphis during the big ice storm of ’94! After risking life an limb to get to my mom’s house, out in the country, I spent the next week cooking in a fireplace and playing endless games of 20 questions with three kids under 10. Yeah, I don’t miss that even a little bit.

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  33. I hear ya, Cosmo’s Dad, on the Christmas Shoes song. Makes me want to pull my eardrums out with a fork.
    No snow in Las Vegas, but I did have to wear a sweater when I took Barkley and Peanut to the doggie P-A-R-K. (Shhhhhh…..)

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  34. 1. Sorry, but you featured today’s mug earlier this month….
    2. Now, EVERY time I see a FedEx sign I look for the arrow…why did you have to point that out?
    3. Love this blog!

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  35. When you said Christmas mug of the day, I thought that was going to mean a different FACE every day…like more gay porn Santas, or lesbian Blitzens or something…

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  36. Re-reading the comments waiting for today’s post. Somehow I missed Cosmo’s dad pointing out June’s use of taint and Santa in the same sentence. I love the dirty turn this blog has taken this week; June’s face being drilled; Gay Porn Santa; Taint and Santa; lesbian Blitzens… This blog may win an adult blog award this year!

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