No room at the inn or at the grocery store

Henry is looking out the window again, chittering his teefs at birds.

Chitter 

He is truly unconcerned with the shape of my blinds. Which is fine because I CANNOT WAIT to get a cute curtain there. Do you think Santa brought me a cute curtain? Aaaannnnd cue the part where my mother leaps off her roof, because she just spent the last two months asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I never mentioned the blind.

I tried to take a picture of the birds at the bird feeder, but of course as soon as my camera lens clicked on the window, they all flew off. They're high-strung that way. And it's a shame, because there was a cardinal and also Mrs. Cardinal, who is stuck being mostly brown through life while her husband gets to be all red and handsome and earn more money.

My soldier made fun of me for writing to him about my birds at the bird feeder. Hey, I had to write him once a week; pretty soon you start writing about the trivial things.

You knew I had a soldier, right? I'm pretty sure I mentioned him. I volunteered with this organization to write once a week and send a care package (read: Maxim magazine) every month. I am pleased to announce that Eddie, my personal soldier, is done being in Iraq and is home. Well, home-ish. Last I heard he was in Germany and all I can see on his Facebook page is an unbelievably cute message from his Nana which is about to kill me. She even signed it. "Love, Nana." I want to pinch her cheeks.

At any rate, fortunately I was assigned a soldier who had a sense of humor, so he found me funny and not berserk. And he'd write me back and ask when I turned 80, with the entire letter about what kind of birds were at my feeder. And you should have HEARD the guffaws when I took up knitting.

Speaking of being old, I went to my fancy tea yesterday with The Other June.

Ohenry
There's a hoity-toity hotel in town, called the O'Henry. It is not named after my cat. They have afternoon tea. With clotted cream. If you told me there was an all-afternoon vomit, jazz, and inappropriate apostrophe fest that also had clotted cream, I would still attend for the clotted cream.

Every single person at the tea was female. Do men hate tea? I know Barry Gibb drinks tea. Why so tea-shy, men?

China
They serve you with unmatched china, which I think is adorable. Also too, what are those little peppercorn-looking red berry things called? I used to work for a flower company and I had to proofread flower recipes, and we used those red things in every winter bouquet and now for the life of me I cannot think what they're called and I'm irritated with my own self.

Usedtobefood

Yeah. So. I meant to photograph all the pretty food when it came, but I forgot until just two lonely cookies were left. Don't worry, they got eaten, too.

Puttingonairs

See, you CAN take me anywhere.

At any rate, I am off to (gasp) go to the grocery store. I have no choice. We are having salmon tomorrow and you have to get it pretty close to when you're gonna eat it. I know the store is going to be a nightmare. Shut up.

This evening we are going to TinyTown, to have dinner with some friends and then go to the midnight mass, which starts at 10:30. What can I tell you? Midnight mass sounds better than 10:30 mass.

It is my guess that 32 people will read me today and tomorrow, but I said that last year and people read this dumb blog, so what do I know?

Merry Christmas, everyone who celebrates it! And if you don't, will you stay out of my grocery store today? It's gonna be bad enough. Thanks.

82 thoughts on “No room at the inn or at the grocery store

  1. Merry Christmas Bloggy Friends! It is snowing here. Only the third white Christmas in my lifetime! I love the High Tea picture the other June took of you. Thanks for the daily giggle.

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  2. Happy Holidays to everyone in Junersville. And a big thank you to everyone, too. This year was a sad one for me and coming here was a welcome respite. June would start the ball rolling with her excellent, funny and DAILY updates, and then the comments would often take on a life of their own. A lot of times I had to muffle my giggles at work. (And I work in a bank. We don’t giggle.)
    THANK YOU and Happy Holidays!!
    Love,

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  3. Happy Holidays to everyone in Junersville. And a big thank you to everyone, too. This year was a sad one for me and coming here was a welcome respite. June would start the ball rolling with her excellent, funny and DAILY updates, and then the comments would often take on a life of their own. A lot of times I had to muffle my giggles at work. (And I work in a bank. We don’t giggle.)
    THANK YOU and Happy Holidays!!
    Love,

    Like

  4. Happy Holidays to everyone in Junersville. And a big thank you to everyone, too. This year was a sad one for me and coming here was a welcome respite. June would start the ball rolling with her excellent, funny and DAILY updates, and then the comments would often take on a life of their own. A lot of times I had to muffle my giggles at work. (And I work in a bank. We don’t giggle.)
    THANK YOU and Happy Holidays!!
    Love,

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  5. Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!
    SO glad to see Steve and Beth commenting. Again, I am so so so sorry for my ri-dic-u-lous rant on Jan’s behalf. Yes, Hulk, I took your dingity dangity dollar and bought a sense of humor!
    Carpoolqueen ~ Happiest of birthdays TO YOU!
    For a long time after Jan and I started reading this blog I was a bit sad because it didn’t seem as if the commentors were connecting and oh how I wished we would connect. Well WAHHH LAAAAHHHH, connect we did. This blog makes my day and when life is too hard to deal with, I always have all y’all!
    I have not had too many eggnogs, but also am sentimental on Christmas Eve. After I finish wrapping the 243,875,309 presents I have left to wrap, I will partake in some sort of alcoholic beverage. Shall we all meet back here at midnight and toast?
    Merry Christmas, June. Marvin. Tallulah. Winston. Henry. and …oh crap I am having a brain fart. The other one. I’ll remember as soon as I hit submit on this dang comment….

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  6. poor Fran.
    Merry Christmas, Lee.
    I haven’t been commenting as much because Steve sometimes hovers and then mocks me (I know, can you believe it?) for how long it takes for me to decide if my comment is grammatical or on topic or funny. And sometimes everyone else is soooo funny, I can’t even begin to comment.
    Oh, I love Christmas Eve.

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  7. As someone whose dad and brother are tea-obsessed, I promise you that men do tea. What they don’t do is fancy shmancy little bone china cups. They will go through the tiny cup pain if they get a scone with jam and cream. It’s part of the nationality requirements, I think.
    It is now officially Christmas Day here so I’m off to bed. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I get to open prezzies. Yay! Merry Christmas, x

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  8. Merry Christmas, all!
    June, did you hear the NPR “Talk of the Nation” piece on It’s a Wonderful Life this afternoon? Here’s the link: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121871188
    I had high tea only once, but it was at Harrod’s in London. Wow! Lovely experience. Each of us got to order the tea of our choice from the menu. Mmmmmm…finger sandwiches — egg salad, cucumber, smoked salmon, and ham. I was the only one who ate smoked salmon so got all of them. Middle plate had scones awaiting the clotted cream and jam, and the top plate had pastries of all sorts. We ate it all and asked for more pastries. I think the four of us need a trip to the O’Henry to relive the experience.
    I’ll end with the words of Walt Kelly’s Pogo:
    Deck us all with Boston Charlie
    Walla Walla, Wash., and Kalamazoo!
    Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley
    Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!
    Don’t we know archaic barrel
    Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
    Trolley Molly don’t love Harold
    Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
    Target Steve’s co-workers won’t remember that, I bet. Maybe Steve won’t either.
    Have a merry one!

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  9. English food names always confuse me. Until last year, I thought Welsh Rarebit was Welsh Rabbit, on the rare side.
    Have yourself a merry little Christmas everyone, and especially our lovely hostess June, who is probably at 10:30 mass as I type this (its been a long day). Ho ho ho…
    My name is not ‘ho.’ Stop calling me ‘ho.’

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  10. Merry Christmas to everyone. June,thank you for bringing me joy everytime I read your blog.Everyone else, thank you for the great comments, this is the “blog that keeps on giving”, not only do I get to enjoy the actual blog of the day, but lots of funny and entertaining comments everytime I come back to check.
    I am stuck at my in-laws’ house for Christmas, while for the first time in a gazillion years there is a lot of snow where we live. Great. And not even any alcohol here. Bah Humbug.

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  11. Merry Christmas June!!! I hear you are low on oregano also. Was also out shopping yesterday and no crowds in WI-although the HUGE snow/rain storm that we are experiencing could be part of the reason. Stopped in the visit Steve at Target but couldn’t find him anywhere 😉 Note to Steve-put that Christmas sh*t on clearance! Cmon-what are you waiting for 😉

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  12. I will be putting up signs in my store tomorrow at 4am for the 7am opening. I will give you an extra special Bye Bye Pie discount, but only in Cincinnati. See you soon. No snow here, just wind and rain…festive.

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  13. It is now Christmas day. Merry Christmas June! And Merry Christmas to all you faithfull readers.
    This is the one blog that I turn to each day for a good belly laugh. With the stresses life can bring it is comforting to know that lives can be touched even by people who may never meet.
    To those of you who have had a difficult year, I sincerely hope that 2010 will bring you happiness and health.
    Now I have to go chase my cat around the house so that I can put one of those silly Santa hats on her and take her picture whilst laughing my arse of at her.

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  14. Happy Belated Birthday Carpool Queen! You share my Grandpa’s birthday. He lived to be 101, here’s wishing you the same!

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  15. Those are hypericum berries. I’m not a tea lover, but adore the O’Henry, the Green Valley Grill & their rooms – have you seen their rooms? I could live there, especially the bathrooms – gorgeous. We had our wedding reception at the O’Henry in the pavillion area December 28th, it was perfection. Merry Christmas!

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