I was putting away the Christmas decorations yesterday, and I found this photo in the attic.
It's one of the nine million aura pictures I had taken through the years, because I know you will be shocked to learn they were easy to come by in LA. This time my aura was orange, like Henry. I know you can't read the words below, but they say, "Orange. Artistic, physical-creative expression, excitement.
That's me. Ms. Excitement. Indiana Junes.
And YES. I took the Christmas decorations down. The tree is in a bag. I used my fancy new plastic containers. Apparently my aura does not say, "Respects the earth." I also took a private jet to club a bunch of baby seals to hang on the fake tree next year. Then I tossed those plastic rings for six-packs into the ocean.
Oh! And speaking of killing everything, be sure to read Serena by Ron Rash this week, as it is our book club book (see Mince Words with June, over there on the right) and we meet January 3. Which is coming right up. Which means I need to buy a new calendar, and I don't know if I can find a calendar that physically and creatively excited me (see what I did there?) like this year's vintage Better Homes & Gardens calendar. Was obsessed with that one.
So, hey. Listen. If I were to, say, sell a Bye Bye, Pie mug, and it read: "I drink from my everyday mug every day," would you get that? Or would you be lost?
Let me know. Faithful Reader Paula from New York who likes Hookers and Blow suggested I have the mug say: "I read Bye Bye, Pie and all I got was this ding-dang mug." Which I also thought was funny.
Faithful Reader Hulk said it should read: "I will never tell you why I quit my job."
What say you?
Oh, and speaking of Faithful Reader Paula, she is our comment of the week. Go, Paula. All that blow makes her funny.
Now that my decorations are put up? Are red up, as my grandmother would say ("Help me red up the dishes"), I am going to clean my wood floors with my NEW STEAM CLEANER. You know the part where I got a little oddly excited about that Better Homes & Gardens calendar? It's nothing compared to the Dennis-Hopper-with-the-oxygen-mask excitement I have about the steam cleaner. DON'T YOU F$%&#*' LOOK AT ME!
Okay. Only funny if you saw Blue Velvet. And if you haven't, for the love of God don't see it. No one needs those images burned in their brain.
All right, I'm off. To steam some floors. See? I got a little thrill just typing that. Maybe my mug could just read: "I read about June getting oddly excited every day."
Oh! P.S. Tomorrow Marvin is guest posting. I do not know why. He just emailed me with, "Here's my guest post." We must have discussed this when I was in another of my blackouts. "I read about June's everyday blackouts every day."