Yesterday was cold, so during our walk I made Tallulah wear her sweater.
Actually, she didn't seem to mind. Until we walked past a bunch of other dogs whose parents didn't make them wear sweaters like a bunch of pansies. Normally she jumps and wags her tail and engages with those dogs, but yesterday she just looked the other way, like she was busy contemplating wave particle duality. And who isn't?
Thanks, everybody, for telling me your new year's resolutions yesterday. I still like the person who said she was going to wear more aggressive jewelry. I love unusual resolutions. I also liked the person who was gonna leave the country this year if it slap killed her. I would do the same if I weren't agoraphobic. Which makes it hard to go to Target, much less Fiji.
Okay, I'm really fine at Target. But leaving the country gives me hives.
My new year's resolution? No more celebrity gossip. It's not even necessarily true, and if it is it's none of our business; it rots your brain and crams it up with useless facts when you could be considering wave particle duality.
On my home page? I have not one but THREE celebrity gossip sites. The other day I was perusing that intellectual TMZ? And I can't even remember what celebrity we were discussing, but one of the comments said "He was a guiness." She meant GENIUS. Which is kind of ironic.
Do I really need to be hanging around a crowd that spells "genius" "guiness"? I do not. And I also watch the TMZ show, I am sorry to tell you. And they are honestly baffled, these TMZ-ers, when they stand outside a restaurant or a doctor's office, and the person they are stalking is rude. I mean, they really act like they don't get it. "Our cameramen were so nice to Brad Pitt. They just kept saying what big fans they were, both when he went into the doctor's office and when he came back out."
Okay, you know what would be really nice? If you really cared about Brad Pitt? Which I don't because he's a cheaty cheaterpants from Cheattown? If you really cared, you'd LET HIM LIVE HIS LIFE without your intrusiveness! Are they really that far gone that they can't see this?
So that is why I am done with celebrity gossip for 2010. Which I am going to call "two-thousand AND ten" instead of "twenty-ten" simply because it annoys Faithful Reader Hulk.
I will not renew my Star magazine subscription. I will remove my tawdry sites from my home page and replace them with something deep like BarryGibb.com. (Oh, yes there is.) And I will not watch TMZ on TV.
I will be deep and meaningful.
Tune in January 1 when I discuss wave particle duality.