Red Robbin’ me of any joy

Team-marvin

"Let's go to Red Robin!" said Marvin, like he was offering up an evening at 21 or something.

"Red Robin?" I like to think of myself as being too cool to go to Red Robin, but between you and me, that teriyaki chicken burger is to die for. And yes, I do remember I am not eating poor chickens anymore.

(Has anyone seen Food, Inc., by the way? Because we just did and it is appalling.

But I will tell you about that on a different day, like I'm gonna tell you about the pet psychic. And how I'm gonna tell you about my friend Marianne making me a watch and making me give it back. And like how I'm gonna answer all those outstanding Ask June questions you've posted.)

"Yes," said Marvin. "We can have a date night."

Okay.

Now, I don't know why I feel the need to tell you how to seduce me, because is it ever really gonna come up? But in case it ever does, I am not girly in the way that I need a whole evening of fancy dining at the Red Robin, followed by low lights and Kim Basinger doing a strip tease and John Cusak holding a boom box over his head. Just tell me you wish to hanky-pank and I will generally be amenable. I guess this is the one arena of life that I am most like a man.

I also want to you leave so I can watch Sports Center.

See. I don't even know what Sports Center is. Is it a cable TV channel? Is it a radio show? Is it an actual place? Like, a center you go to? I honestly have no idea. I have just heard men say that, and also "I wish she'd turn into a sandwich after" and all those things, so that's why I am saying Sports Center now.

Anyway, Marvin assures me there is a Red Robin in Greensboro, "just down the road," which means he has no idea where it is and has kind of looked it up and no, we won't take my car with the GPS in it, he absolutely knows where it is and he MEANT to turn down this dead-end street.

We finally end up in Switzerland, with its mountains and cheese and knives and lederhosen, and also Heidi, so far is this restaurant from our house, but man is it worth it, because it's RED ROBIN. You don't just get to go there every day.

Or anything.

We park in Tibet and walk to Switzerland, so crowded is Red ridiculous Robin on a Saturday night, and let me tell you, the TEMPERATURE was Tibet/Switzerland-ish, because I know I did not bring up often in yesterday's post that it was EIGHTEEN degrees out.

The poor beleaguered hostess is not at her stand when we get there, so Marvin steals a balloon.  Which, why? Why do we need to break the law and be morally inappropriate? Those balloons are for CHILDREN to choke on and no one else, but here is where Marvin and I diverge. I am a rule-follower. He is not.

After our meal, in which the waitress interrupted me FIVE times, we got ready to go. And can I just interject, here? This is a huge, pervasive problem in the South. The wait person? Comes to the table and bugs you way too much. WAY too much. "How's every little thing?" "Everything still tastin' good, y'all?" "Y'all need anything, even though I was here 48 seconds ago?" "You all ready for your check?"

I think in the South, it would be considered the height of rudeness for the waitperson to, say, pick up the check without saying some little thing each time. But GUESS WHAT? We just want our FOOD, and for you to have a MODICUM of civility, but mostly to let us TALK because that's why we are having our glamorous and slightly illegal evening AT THE RED ROBIN.

After–seriously–the fifth interruption of my scintillating story? I gritted my teeth and after she left, Marvin said, "Maybe you just talk too much."

Well.

Of course, THEN, he said, "No, go on with your story, I really want to know what Tammi Thompson did at cheerleading camp in fifth grade" and you know what I did? I refused to finish my story, that's what I did.

My grandmother, the one I am turning into, used to similarly "punish" you by refusing to tell you things.

The woman.

talked.

constantly.

Constantly. Even her tea was Constant Comment, and I am not even making that up. Once in the car? On a trip? I timed her. FORTY-EIGHT seconds. That's how long she went without talking. So to think giving us the silent treatment was KILLING us, and please, PLEASE Grammy, go back to talking, is kind of funny. And have I mentioned I am turning into her?

At any rate, we came home, and at some point in the car, Marvin had blown up said balloon. I guess he had to do something to fill up that punishing silence.

I immediately stampeded to my computer, as I am wont to do, and after a minute or two, the dog started really barking. This was not that alarming, as she barks at anyone who has the nerve to walk past our house. Don't they KNOW this is her territory? "Do they not UNDERSTAND this Lula yard? OFF! OFF! OFF MY YARD! I.MEAN.IT! Rrrrrrun! Lula Pit Bull! [ish!]"

So I ignored her until Marvin asked me to come into the living room.

That poor dog was all hunkered over, barking at the balloon. Which had the nerve to be, you know, hovering on the living room floor like some, some, HOVERY thing.

Being the caring dog owner that I am, naturally I kicked it in Lu's direction, which made her pounce on it, which made it pop. Loudly and suddenly.

I think I saw her skeleton actually leap out of her body for a second.

I am sorry to tell you it was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen in my life, and I know this makes me a terrible person, but two minutes later she was on my lap, the evil floaty thing completely forgotten.

So that was my exciting evening at Red Robin. Off to watch Sports Center. Or, you know, read it. Whatever you do with a Sports Center.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

75 thoughts on “Red Robbin’ me of any joy”

  1. “Even her tea was Constant Comment.” So funny!
    The story of grandma reminds me of a trip I had to take with a coworker a few years ago. She and I hardly knew each other, and the trip was 3 1/2 hours long. She talked the WHOLE time! I want to be a good listener and all, but geesh!!

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  2. seriously! nothing is funnier than making our beloved pets (and/or small children we may know) jump right out of their mother flippin’ skin! cheers for the balloon escapade with lula … !

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  3. Hulk (Who's new mission in life is for Junie to incorporate the phrase 'He shoots-He scores!' into her posts this year) says:

    C’mon…I don’t have varmits running around all over my house, but I know what “The Dog Whisperer” is. How can you NOT know about “SportsCenter”???
    An aside: For those of you keeping score (and Junie, “keeping score” is a way of determining the winner of some sort of contest, my SportsCenterly-challenged friend), Hulkette begged for popcorn after her basketball game yesterday. We got some, walked to the car, got buckled in, and before we were out of the parking lot… she spilled it.

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  4. I haven’t read past the first few sentences. I LOVE ME SOME RED ROBIN~YUMMM!
    I would eat at Red Robin over just about anywhere. Well, OK, I am planning on going to either The Melting Pot, Ju Rin (fabulous Japanese place) or La Hacienda for my birthday. But for regular “let’s grab a bite” places, I love Red Robin~Yummm! And their California Chicken Burger.
    Off to read the rest of the post.

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  5. I had a similar evening with my hubby. I went to the movies with my friend, while my youngest daughter went to a slumber party with her friend, leaving my husband at home with our oldest daughter and the baby. My husband and daughter decided to watch a movie together last night. One of my other friends has an uncle who can procure things. And it seems they were able to procure a dvd copy of a movie that may or may not be out in theaters. A movie which a person like Hulk may or may not really enjoy (but I’m betting SportCenter that he would). My friend brought over said movie and when I got home, my daughter was still up. I walked in and asked why the nut job was still up and my husband announced he would never watch another movie with her because she is annoying. I asked why and he screamed “THAT’S WHY!!!” Apparently all she did was ask questions throughout the whole movie and my hubby was wanting to pay attention I guess, even though he has seen this movie already. In the theater. Where it may or may not be playing. Then my daughter tells me that her father told her that she is just like me and that I ask too many questions during movies and it makes him crazy. ? ? ? Really? I don’t recall asking questions in movies. Oh, he sealed his fate now. I told him in no uncertain terms that he and I will NEVER, EVER, EVER go to a ding and also dang movie ever again. I have plenty other people to go to the moving picture show with and he will never have to accompany my question asking, too much talking ass EVER AGAIN.
    Husbands.

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  6. It seems every time we go to Red Robin, they always seat us next to the family reunion. Yeah, the family that speaks Spanish and has 38245 kids who are meeting Grandma for the first time. And all the uncles are just sitting there watching Sports Center on the TV (see how I did that? Let you know where to find Sports Center) while their children are running amok. The wait-person has to leap over them 20 times on her way to our table 20 times. Next time, I’ll choke on the balloon myself.

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  7. Dear Jan,
    I hate people who talk in the movie. If we are ever going to the movies together, because you are trying to seduce me, and you talk? I will so backhand you. My friends daughter used to ask What doing? 37563387 during the movie, but she was three so it was cute.

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  8. Marvin and I stupidly went to Fudruckers one night, back in Burbank. I cannot begin to describe the crowds. Anyway, the guy next to us kept shouting into his cell phone, Were at Foodburgers! Foodburgers! and when his son finally joined them, he said, Its called Fudruckers, dad.
     
    Foodburgers. People annoy me.

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  9. June,
    I swear I do not ask a million questions or talk during the movie. Really. I think my husband is super critical and I have probably asked one question in all the 17 years we have been going to movies together and so now I am labeled annoying. And why would I need to ask questions? I am intelligent enough to follow the plot of whatever stupid ass movie he has dragged me to so I don’t need to ask him to sort things out for me. The only time I ask a question is if I have to go to the bathroom. Then I will ask what I missed.
    So in closing, when you and I go out and I wine and margarita you at Red Robin, I will not ask a million questions at the movies so that my seduction will be go smoothly once we get back to your place.

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  10. June,
    I swear I do not ask a million questions or talk during the movie. Really. I think my husband is super critical and I have probably asked one question in all the 17 years we have been going to movies together and so now I am labeled annoying. And why would I need to ask questions? I am intelligent enough to follow the plot of whatever stupid ass movie he has dragged me to so I don’t need to ask him to sort things out for me. The only time I ask a question is if I have to go to the bathroom. Then I will ask what I missed.
    So in closing, when you and I go out and I wine and margarita you at Red Robin, I will not ask a million questions at the movies so that my seduction will be go smoothly once we get back to your place.

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  11. June,
    I swear I do not ask a million questions or talk during the movie. Really. I think my husband is super critical and I have probably asked one question in all the 17 years we have been going to movies together and so now I am labeled annoying. And why would I need to ask questions? I am intelligent enough to follow the plot of whatever stupid ass movie he has dragged me to so I don’t need to ask him to sort things out for me. The only time I ask a question is if I have to go to the bathroom. Then I will ask what I missed.
    So in closing, when you and I go out and I wine and margarita you at Red Robin, I will not ask a million questions at the movies so that my seduction will be go smoothly once we get back to your place.

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  12. What a relief. Mrs. Robinson.
     
    My friend Sandy, who is really really smart and has a great job and everything, CANNOT grasp a plot of any movie. You just want to stick pins in her eyes. Wait, WHO is that? Thats the guy from before? I thought he was dead. OHMYGOD, she drives you berserk.

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  13. Sorry, the Southern waiters are better than those in the North, because Southern waiters have the use of the phrase “y’all.” Northerners are forced to resort to “you guys,” as in “How are you guys doing?” To which question my husband is apt to respond, “That’s my wife and she ain’t no guy.”
    Embarrassing.

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  14. My husband took me to a chinese resteraunt and the waitress kept coming by check on us and it totally annoyed the piss outta me.When we left hubby told me she was standing behind me making kissy and tongue moves at him.

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  15. Do you know what the problem is with your hilarious post, June? I will tell you, of course. Deciding what to comment on so that a book isn’t written in the comment section. Oh. my. word.
    First, this question begs to be asked. Did Marvin get him some after all?
    Second, my sister Jan is THE MOST stubborn person I have ever known and when she proclaims to her husband she will never go to a movie with him again, she is so not exaggerating. It will never. happen. again. I have never heard her utter a word during a movie….mostly because when we go to movies together our other sister is usually with us and she starts SHUSHING us the very minute we sit down and begin watching the cute little movie rules and regs BEFORE the trailers start. She continues to SHUSH us as loudly as she possibly can, which is not annoying at all, until the movie begins and then she just points at us. We are too frightened to speak. Besides, I am the talker during movies not Jan. Ask her sometime about the movie “Crash”.
    Third, “I think I saw her skeleton actually leap out of her body for a second.” You need to give your own self comment of the week, although it wasn’t stated in the comment section.
    Fourth, are you far enough south that when you ask for tea in a restaurant they automatically give you sweet tea?

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  16. Do you know what else is the trouble with this blog? I will tell you, of course.
    By the time one finishes typing a comment, another bazillion comments are there. I go in to defend my sister but alas, she has already defended herself.
    Also? I am preparing to go to church. And I now have images of Marvin and Jan trying to seduce June bouncing around in my head. God can see in my head, you know!

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  17. I hate when the waitress comes over and asks if I want a container for my food, which, by the way, she has just put down and I have eaten about 1/4 of it. As if to say, “You aren’t going to eat ALL of that, are you?” Also, too, said waitresses usually weigh no more than 95 lbs. Enough said.

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  18. Now, see, Leanne the ex, I can never get them to bring the dang container over, which I always need, because its important that I eat the rest of my dinner in the car on my way home.

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  19. i love a red robin bonzai burger as much as the next girl. however, i am surprised there’s this much red robin love in the world when everyone knows that 5 guys have burgers to die for. DIE FOR, i tell ya! do you not have them in greensboro (and the various other places your readers are living, which i know you know!)

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  20. Wonder how many asses Lee has to kick in a calendar year? So far it is Steve, jan’s husband…
    Probably mine now…

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  21. I actually giggled for a good minute after I read about your poor puppy’s skeleton. HI-larious!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

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  22. Buckeye, we have 5 Guys here in the DC-area, and their burgers are indeed fantabulous. Although I always get hot dogs there, because their hot dogs? Are even more fantabulous than the burgers. I don’t know why. Maybe they put crack in them.

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  23. Are they called ‘Marion Berry’ dogs?

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  24. oh! good one hulk. @the other erin, i too live in the greater DC area (nova). and the whole 5 guys experience is definitely crack related altho i’ve never tried their dogs. those fries, though. oh. my. goodness. right?!

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  25. Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.
    The celebration went on for two days and I
    kept sneaking on here to read, like an addict reaching for a hit of crack.
    Furry and Mr. T.: Lauren and I don’t really have a trip planned to Elvis Land.
    Although I would love to go. Since I was born on his b’day I have always felt a special bond with him.
    I have never heard of Red Robin. Does one pronounce it in a gutteral voice aka Jack Nicholson?

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  26. Love the 5 guys.
    HATE MOVIE TALKERS! Like, I want to KILL movie talkers. I refuse to go the movies with movie talkers. Friends have to endure a movie viewing interview with me before I will agree go to the movies with them.
    And here’s something weird, a few months ago I was at the movie and the complete stranger girl sitting next to me, turned and stuck out her hand and introduced herself to me. I was all, “Huh. That’s something new.” Is anyone else formally introducing themselves to the person next to them at the movie? Am I not up on the movie etiquette?
    And I just told my husband the same thing the other night, how really pesky the wait staff is in the south. It’s like they want to be a big part of your dinner conversation. I hate that.
    I also hate when they take your plate away and ask you if you want to hold on to your fork. No, I don’t. I’m in a restaurant and I want a new fork every time, ok? I like to be pampered when I go out to eat. New cutlery every ding-dang time and a silent wait staff. Is that too much to ask. I feel better now.

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  27. I was a fan of the Red Robin. Who doesn’t love an endless basket of steak fries? Anywho, last time we went, the waitress put drinks in front of my 10 year old and 4 year old calling them (the drinks, not the girls)”margarita and bud lite”. I don’t drink and was completely offended. The worst part was that I had to explain to my 10 year old what that meant because she said, “I ordered Coke”.

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  28. I don’t know about the south, but up here in Yankee land, the thing that bugs me the most with the wait staff is that they will ALWAYS put the hot plate/drink/knife right in front of my 1 year old. WHY???? WHY DELILAH??? You would think they would get the clue when they sit down the drinks in front of his grabby hands and I jump to action, grabbing them away and setting them as far away from him as possible. Preferably the next table. Then here they come with some sizzling hot plate and look at me and say something like THIS IS REALLY HOT!!! BE CAREFUL!!!!! YEOUCH!!!! And then they sit it down practically on top of him and then again don’t seem to notice when I leap into action, turning into Stretch Armstrong, reaching across the table, grabbing the plate, burning off the first three layers of my skin, balancing new beverages on my forehead, while cutting up something for him to eat with my elbow and knee.

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  29. Lee, Who is just over 5 feet tall and has the strength of a weak kitten but apprently is kickin ass all over town. says:

    I am wheezing over here and laughing like Maud when my husband who seems to have lost any semblence of humor asks what’s so funny. “June’s blog and comments” I manage to squeak out. He stands there, looking at me, waiting, as if there is more I should say. Which only makes me laugh harder. I explain the signature line is the best part and again he stand there looking at me, blank expression. So I say “Hulk is training like Rocky for his summer trip here” between wheezes, and further explain its because he is afraid of me and my can of whoop ass. To which my husband turns on his heel and walks away. Who is Mr. Grumpy McGrumpster?
    June….so….did Marvin get any afterall?
    Jan ~ YOU ARE KILLING ME TODAY.
    Hulk ~ Expect it when you least expect it.

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  30. We like our balloons alot. Every garage sale, birthday party, birth (hey its a boy, hey who cares), anything that a neighbor will put a balloon on, we like it. Cosmo will zoom into stealth mode, sneak up to it and then sniff…. the balloon moves, the fur on his back goes up, and he starts to cry. Lucy at this point, who could care less, is now into destroy mode…but first, lets give the old Cosmo a slap across the face, Cher like “snap out of it” its a balloon, thats it, you big old galoof! She will then jump the balloon hard, it may pop, or bounce away (not far as it is teathered to a sign, tree, bush, lamp). And the fun starts allover again. When the balloon does indeed pop, it gets sniffed and very likely peed on.

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  31. I loved balloons until I had kids. Now I’m sure they are of the devil. They’re always trying to escape or pop or do something that’s going to make someone cry, usually me. I wish Marvin would steal all the balloons everywhere and give the moms a break.
    Constant Comment and the skeleton were my two favorite parts of this post…If we’re voting. Which I don’t guess we are but I did just in case.
    When we lived in Massachusetts we had Red Robin commercials but I couldn’t find a Red Robin. I really wanted to eat there, too. I think it’s just wrong to have the commercial and not the opportunity.

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  32. Okay, either the Red Robin in Surrey, BC is sub-standard, or I don’t know how to order off their menu. I mean, I like it. But I’ve never felt that it’s TO DIE FOR. I clearly need to conduct further research.

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  33. I am sorry to say that I have never been to a Red Robin. I have been to the 5 Guys burgers and fries place and it is awesome. Equally delicious is the Smash burger and Culver’s butter burgers.
    Smash burger has those skinny fries with butter, garlic and rosemary on them that will make you want to sit right up and slap your mama! they are that good.
    Poor ole Marv is just not doing well this week. First it’s the whole coffee debacle and then he goes for broke with the “talking too much” nonsense. Has he met you? Hmmmpphh.
    And talking during a movie? That goes right under the “He needed killing” defense. I don’t even like it if you talk during Jeopardy, much less a movie I am investing 2 hours in.

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  34. You are not going to believe this.
    As I pointed out in a comment today, I have never heard of Red Robin.
    Well, my friend JUST called me to say she had something for me for my birthday and to come over. So I run over there and we get talking about 1000 different things in a period of ten minutes, when she says, “I took my mother to Red Robin for lunch.” I leap out of my chair and start flapping my arms. “RED ROBIN? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Well, she looks confused and sort of scared. Like maybe I had heard they serve kitty burgers or had gotten an F on a health inspection or something.
    I didn’t want to go into the long drawn out explanation of my imaginary friend June, so I just did my best to down play my gusto for Red Robin.
    So, is this an example of serendipity?

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  35. FedEx, Red Robin and thongs…it is serendipity…. ohhh Junie, June, June, from Juneville, in Junetown, in the county of June, the United States of June, golly goshness, the dreams, the dreams….POP…. just like a balloon.
    What to do, what to do.

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  36. Red Robin is the Rosenthong’s usual date spot as well, but I think you knew that. Haven’t ever HEARD of Red Robin??? Dear god. Well, I guess it is a Seattle-begun chain, so it makes sense we have 1402 Red Robins just in the city limits. Because the Rosenthongs do not wish to wait in line, nor do they wish to sit by the large family reunion, we usually sit in the bar. And in typical Seattle style, the server throws stuff down and runs the other way…no y’alls goin’ on here.

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  37. next time you visit, Rosenthong and Marvin will have to take their bromance to Red Robin to discuss whatever it is they discuss, over Coke Zeroes and non-alcoholic fruity drinks.

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  38. Steve's wife Beth whose motto lives by the motto: If you can't be good, be discreet. So no kissing and telling, puhlease. says:

    June,
    Stellar post. I mean, I read it about an hour ago before I started reading comments, but, no, I remember it was really hilarious.
    I’m reminded of Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman when she tells Edward that the whole seduction scene is nice but she’s actually a sure thing. No champagne and strawberries necessary.

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  39. Steve's wife Beth whose motto lives by the motto: If you can't be good, be discreet. So no kissing and telling, puhlease. says:

    June,
    Stellar post. I mean, I read it about an hour ago before I started reading comments, but, no, I remember it was really hilarious.
    I’m reminded of Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman when she tells Edward that the whole seduction scene is nice but she’s actually a sure thing. No champagne and strawberries necessary.

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  40. Steve's wife Beth whose motto lives by the motto: If you can't be good, be discreet. So no kissing and telling, puhlease. says:

    June,
    Stellar post. I mean, I read it about an hour ago before I started reading comments, but, no, I remember it was really hilarious.
    I’m reminded of Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman when she tells Edward that the whole seduction scene is nice but she’s actually a sure thing. No champagne and strawberries necessary.

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  41. Steve's wife, Beth, who lives by the motto: If you can't be good, be discreet. So no kissing and telling, puhlease. says:

    Dang it. Screwed up the signature line.

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  42. Steve's wife, Beth, who lives by the motto: If you can't be good, be discreet. So no kissing and telling, puhlease. says:

    Dang it. Screwed up the signature line.

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  43. Steve's wife, Beth, who lives by the motto: If you can't be good, be discreet. So no kissing and telling, puhlease. says:

    Dang it. Screwed up the signature line.

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  44. Beth, please kiss and tell, we all need some spicyness…ohhh Steve hit me again with you price tag machine….make me a sale item…

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  45. I must quit talking about Y’ALL like Y’ALL are real. My family already thinks I’m crazy…this isn’t helping.

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  46. d-lou ~ FABULOUS idea! Let’s all get on a ship together with no way to escape when we get tired of sitting around on deck im’ing each other because we have no idea how to communicate with one another other than typing. Seriously though. WE NEED A REUNION. Although we really wouldnt be reuniting would we? It would be the world’s largest blind date.

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  47. love the i’m idea. cuz seriously I love you all but do I really need to see your face.
    OR better yet…we could all wear gay porn santa masks to the ball!

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  48. Bravo! Another HA-larious post. I SO enjoy reading your blog. And I’ve started reading the comments, which seem to take on a life of their own. Who knew?

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  49. Kari D obviously won’t be seeing a movie with Jan’s husband either. One questionsis apparently one question too many.

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  50. When I was doing my taxes last year, I was shocked SHOCKED I tell you! to discover just how many Red Robin receipts I had acquired. We’re talking a weekly habit. I should have bought stock in ’08. And thanks, Lee, now I have that ding dang jingle in my ding dang head. YUMMMMMMMMMMM!

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  51. So funny, I can totally picture the scene with Lula and the balloon! You just found another entertaining way to terrorize your pet!

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  52. I don’t ask questions during movies but I do offer up hilarious commentary, which I am sure is not at ALL annoying to the other patrons in the theater. My sister and I made this kind of our thing, until she moved to Japan last year. Now the new boyfriend is stuck listening to me and my witty banter. I’m pretty sure he’s re-evaluating the entire relationship, as I dragged him to no fewer than four movies in the past week.
    Visual about Lula’s skeleton jumping out of her body? HILARZ!

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  53. See, at first, when you said that Marvin stole a balloon from the hostess station, I thought it was one that already had helium in it and I imagine Marvin traipsing (sp?) around the Red Robin w/the balloon bobbing along behind him. Which, I guess you could say he was still stealing it, but is it really stealing if they know you are stealing it? Which doesn’t sound at all stealthy.

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  54. Yikes…Never heard of Red Robin – over here in frosty MA.
    Gay porn santa masks? Holy moly.
    Junie, love you, but your commenters are seriously going off the deep end! : )

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  55. My mother-in-law drinks Constant Comment (when we didn’t have any in the house this past visit she went out and got some) and also talks incessantly about anything and everything.

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  56. So, I know I’m about a kazillion days late to comment on this post, but I have to tell you that kicking the balloon at Lula? SO something I would do.
    Which really means that Michigan girls have this EVIL streak when it comes to pets. As my West-by-Gawd-Virginian husband will attest.

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