There are three pressing topics I wish to cover today, and if I were remotely disciplined I’d cover one today and then have blog topics for Tuesday and Wednesday. But have you met me? Disciplined. Oh, that’s a hoot.
Also, you know by tomorrow I will be on some other idea and will forget, because I tend to be a little scattered. Not Drew-Barrymore-at-the-Golden-Globes scattered, but still.
Perhaps I should giggle at myself nervously every other sentence throughout this (he he!) post. (HEE!)
Or perhaps that’s annoying and once Drew watches herself on TIVO she will be as mortified as the rest of us. (giggle!) [hold mouth open really wide] (giggle!)
Who got on my nerves at the Golden Globes? Can you hazard a guess?
Okay. So first. Other than my obsession with becoming a drag queen, I am similarly obsessed with acquiring this particular animal, although I never will really do so, because it is one of those designer animals and I do not really cotton to that sort of thing. But oh! I wish I did cotton to this sort of a thing.
Have you heard about these teacup pigs? Some farmer in England bred them, and again DO NOT COTTON to this kind of thing, but LOOK HOW CUTE! Oh, I wish I could have me a teacup pig. They grow to the size of a spaniel, are hypoallergenic, and can be litter trained.
I have named my imaginary designer pet Piggy Lipton, but Marvin wants to name it Constant Gruntment or Camosqueal. And right there is reason enough why we do not deserve these UNBELIEVABLY CUTE teacup pigs.
You know, if some rich reader out there were to send me a teacup pig, what could I do but keep it? That’s all I’m saying.
Weee weee weee-ing all the way to our next topic, which involves the very not-designer Henry, does anyone else think he has stopped growing? I know you do not live here, and if you did could you empty the dishwasher? But here is photographic evidence of our Hen, and tell me if you think he didn’t stop growing months ago:
TODAY. Henry have a dream. Henry dream he ever grow past October.
Is it just me? Is he stuck in teen mode forever? By the way, two seconds later, Henry got his nongrowing arse kicked by Winston, which anyone who has cats can probably tell is about to happen based on the flicky tails and Henry’s “please beat me” ears.
Should I inject Henry with a growth hormone? Because I just happen to have one lying around. Which explains why I no longer look like I did in April. Oh, April. Oh, Topamax. Oh, food, which has become not only interesting again, but the most fascinating person of 2010.
And look! I managed to get us to topic number three without droning on for 150 hours.
Faithful readers have been sending in photos of themselves with their new Bye Bye, Pie cups! I heart everyone. You know. Other than Drew Barrymore.
Faithful Reader Laura not only likes RENT, apparently, but also her large-ass BBP mug.
Dawn in Austin does not understand why her mug hasn’t protected her from the elements.
And finally, Faithful Reader and this week’s commentor of the week Paula H&B took her mug out for an adventure.
You, too, can purchase Bye Bye, Pie stuff and make it work for you! Or work it. Either way.