What is Cardinal doing on this notebook?

Are all of you on Facebook? I don't see why not. It is a marvelous time waster and apparently it's like rejoining high school. I am the only person on earth who loved high school–all the drama, the pep rallies, the Jordache, the tater tots in the cafeteria. So I'm fine with Facebook.

If you are thinking of going on Facebook, Tallulah Gardens has her own page, you know. And she will totally friend you if you ask. Because don't you want to hear about what she ate and when it came back out? Why not?

Come on. Join Facebook. What are ya, chicken? Chicken! Bock, bockbockBOCK! Afraid your mom will find out?

And no, Facebook is not paying me. They are ignoring me, just like FedEx.

Anyway, here's what happened to me on Facebook.

I used to be a really jealous person when I was younger. And I used to get really annoyed with myself about it and yell at myself not to be so dang insecure, and then you know what? When I met Marvin? After the first initial month or two? I stopped being ridiculously jealous.

And it occurred to me that all those years maybe there wasn't something wrong with ME, maybe I was being intuitive. Maybe everyone I didn't trust was, oh I don't know, UNTRUSTWORTHY.

So anyway, I'm on Facebook, as I am wont to do, and one of my Facebook friends was tagged in an album.

If you are SO not cool and NOT on Facebook right now–and whatEVER, come on, let's leave her here with her MySpace or whatever–I will explain what tagging in an album is.

You slap a bunch of pictures up on Facebook. If your friends are in said pictures, you can put their names on the picture, then all of the pictures you put on Facebook will also show up on your friends' pages, too.

This ends up being a marvelous way to look at the photos of complete strangers. Which is what I did the other day when I was being on Facebook as I am again wont to do.

My friend from high school, who I will call Babs Cleansefire–which is my way of cleverly disguising her name, and now I am dying because people from high school read this, and now I know they are over there breaking my code (she was a year younger than us) (she was really cute) (she went to BlueJean with Dave Newman)–was tagged in an album.

"Babs Cleansefire was tagged in an album!" my Facebook page said. The photo album was titled, "High school memories."

Well. You know I was all over that.

So there was one photograph of my friend Babs at a party, the kind of party where it looks like no one is drinking alcohol, so naturally I was not in attendance. Then the rest of the photos were of people who looked vaguely familiar, but I could not tell you their names if you stuck flamethrowers in my nethers.

I really have no idea what a flamethrower is. I imagine it's some kind of flame. Perhaps my pal Babs Cleansefire could help me get it out.

So I'm perusing these photographs which are none of my business with all the glee and delight one could possibly dredge out of pictures from 1982, when all of a sudden I was looking at a picture of some sort of notebook or something. It was covered in inside jokes, and words to stupid songs (as opposed to all those smart songs from 1982), when all of a sudden in the middle of the page it read, "Cardinal Hunter is here!"

Cardinal Hunter was my high school boyfriend.

Cardinalnme

Cardinal and me and my filling and my paisley earring. I ruined every picture of us after we broke up, but even 25 years later I kind of heart myself for turning him into Raymond Burr, here.

I was immediately in my maroon monogrammed sweater and my nice class ring. I cannot tell you how infuriated I was. Over a notebook from 1982.

"Why was Cardinal Hunter there? WHAT IS CARDINAL DOING ON THIS NOTEBOOK!?!?"

Which is a question women have asked themselves through the ages.

It didn't take me long to get over it, but there were a good three minutes there where I was livid. And storming down the halls of my high school to find Cardinal, tears streaming down my face. Because someone noted his appearance on a notebook.

If that doesn't encourage you to join Facebook…

54 thoughts on “What is Cardinal doing on this notebook?

  1. I enjoyed high school too. Except for my junior year when I had this thing with a boy whose initials are B.S. After our “thing” ended, his best friend superglued my locker shut. It was traumatic! His new girlfriend also wrote something nasty about me on a stall in the bathroom.
    Is it wrong that when he sent me a friend request on facebook last year I spent a good hour looking at his pictures and trying to figure out what he had done with his life?
    It made me feel psycho.

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  2. First!!!
    I love love love facebook for the same reason- I loved high school and have been thrilled to reconnect with old friends….and flames. One thing though….friend requests from people you can’t remember “if a flamethrower was held to your nether regions” – what to do? They remember you, but you are clueless as to their significance. It feels so snobby not to acept the request but I don’t feel comfortable letting them in on my pictures of my kid, crazy status updates and details of my life if I can’t remember them. What do you do?

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  3. Okay, why was the new girlfriend so berserk? That said, I wish I had known her, because Super Gluing the locker is brilliant. And no, I think everyone stalks the exes. Dont they? Did you say yes to his friend request?

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  4. I also have a lot of fun on fb. And spend waaaaaay too much time over there.
    What I want to know is why am I always (yes, always) shocked to see that other people have also aged? I become fb friends with a long-lost friend and then I am shocked and aghast that she has gotten older! She has kids! She even has a grandkid or two! Gasp! Now, why does this shock me? I have no clue.
    And I love being friends with Tallulah. She makes my heart go pitty-pat! : )
    p.s. I do have a few pet peeves about fb, though.
    1. That flippin’ farmville stuff.
    2. Most of the fb quizzes have horrible typos.
    3. Lately everything has the quote “xyz is really important to me. 93% of you won’t post this to your page. Will you?”
    Really? 93%? grrrr.

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  5. I do not get the whole love affair with Facebook. My Lord I would NEVER get a thing done. Way too much time tethered to a computer.
    June, I predict you will be twittering before the year is up.
    My highschool boyfriend from NY lives right here in Atlanta! We dated on and off for 8 years. LOTS of drama. Sometimes I get chills thinking I might run into him. I just know it will be when I look like crapola.

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  6. Lisa and also your pie, I agree re the 93%. I recently said in my status update, What statistician has FB hired to let us know its always 93% who wont put this up? And those QUIZZES. But you know you can hide all those games and stuff, right? So you dont have to see them? Im sure you know this.

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  7. I have no clue why the new girlfriend was crazy. I still don’t know what was more traumatic, the locker incident or the new girlfriend implying on the bathroom stall that I was a lesbian and I liked to lick it. I remember marching into the principal’s office and demanding paint immediately.
    I laugh about it now, but it was traumatic.
    I did friend him and was relieved to see that he did not end up with the new girlfriend.

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  8. This will surprise no one, I am sure: I HATED HIGH SCHOOL. (Also? Not too fond of college. But at least those memories have an alcohol-induced haze.)
    However, I enjoy FB and I stalk people from my past and I agree with LisaPie that everyone else my age is OLD and HAGGARD-looking.
    And I further agree with LisaPie about that frickety frackety Farmville. I don’t get it. I’m a city kid, I never should’ve ventured into farming. And I’ve ignored the damn thing for so long, you’d think Bankville would foreclose on it, but no such luck.

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  9. This will surprise no one, I am sure: I HATED HIGH SCHOOL. (Also? Not too fond of college. But at least those memories have an alcohol-induced haze.)
    However, I enjoy FB and I stalk people from my past and I agree with LisaPie that everyone else my age is OLD and HAGGARD-looking.
    And I further agree with LisaPie about that frickety frackety Farmville. I don’t get it. I’m a city kid, I never should’ve ventured into farming. And I’ve ignored the damn thing for so long, you’d think Bankville would foreclose on it, but no such luck.

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  10. This will surprise no one, I am sure: I HATED HIGH SCHOOL. (Also? Not too fond of college. But at least those memories have an alcohol-induced haze.)
    However, I enjoy FB and I stalk people from my past and I agree with LisaPie that everyone else my age is OLD and HAGGARD-looking.
    And I further agree with LisaPie about that frickety frackety Farmville. I don’t get it. I’m a city kid, I never should’ve ventured into farming. And I’ve ignored the damn thing for so long, you’d think Bankville would foreclose on it, but no such luck.

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  11. If you were such a lesbian–who incidentally liked to lick it, which strikes me as redundant but what do I know from lesbians–why was she so threatened by you? High school girls are not logical.

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  12. Is the farmville thing where you grow crops and whatever? My 16 yr. old son was really into that for awhile. He would insist I check out his turnips or some such vegetable. Silly, but all his friends competed with their farms.
    We have a family page. But I HATE getting on it because all these faces of morons we don’t even know show up. Pages and pages of comments and faces from people I don’t know. What the hell is that about? HATE FB!

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  13. I actually liked high school. Although I think I’d like it much more if I could go back and redo it knowing what I now know (such as that I would regret never going out for cheerleading because it would have meant instant popularity and interaction with all the cute boys).
    Same goes for college. If I could go back and NOT date the emotionally abusive guy for 2 years, and actually JOIN the sorority I thought about rushing and that he talked me out of. Although my liver is probably glad I did college the way I did…

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  14. My husband just called from upstairs, asking if I was ok. That’s how much I was snorting and guffawing at this post. The “flamethrowers in my nethers” almost choked me. Now that I think about it, you would probably literally choke if you had flamethrowers in your nethers. Is a flamethrower an object, or a person who throws flames? Well, either way…
    I guess high school was ok. I was one of the geeks in the marching band, and I was pretty popular amongst my geek friends, but not so much with the school population in general. My senior year was fun, because that’s when I started hanging out with the percussion section, who were the partiers of the band. (Hi Doug and Joel! Thanks for corrupting me!) Thank God my mom doesn’t read this. Anyway, I prefered college, it was a lot more fun.
    I am on Facebook, but only with my married name. My maiden name is not listed, specifically because I don’t want all 574 people from my graduating class as FB friends. Because strangely? Even though these people were most definitely NOT my friends in high school, for some unknown reason they want to be my FB friend 25 years later. One of the effing CHEERLEADERS sent me a friend request. Why? Were we friends in high school? I think not.
    I am friends with a few people from high school, but they were actually, you know, my friends. But since I have a hard time rejecting a friend request, I accept the weird friend requests, then unfriend them a day later. All these years later, and I am so totally mature like that.
    I want to be friends with Lula. My “Team Lula” button is still on my blog. Wow, a five paragraph comment. Do you think this comment could be any longer? I’ll stop now.

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  15. Loved me some high school. I am even friends on Facebook now with some people who I am quite sure had no idea of my existence back then. Know what? Seems we both have grown up.
    I HATE, however, that “friend” is now a verb. It’s BEFRIEND, people. Of course, I also despise the fact that “conversated” has made it’s way into the dictionary, too, but that’s another topic.
    Wait, this is BBP. Isn’t that what we do?

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  16. Loved me some high school. I am even friends on Facebook now with some people who I am quite sure had no idea of my existence back then. Know what? Seems we both have grown up.
    I HATE, however, that “friend” is now a verb. It’s BEFRIEND, people. Of course, I also despise the fact that “conversated” has made it’s way into the dictionary, too, but that’s another topic.
    Wait, this is BBP. Isn’t that what we do?

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  17. Loved me some high school. I am even friends on Facebook now with some people who I am quite sure had no idea of my existence back then. Know what? Seems we both have grown up.
    I HATE, however, that “friend” is now a verb. It’s BEFRIEND, people. Of course, I also despise the fact that “conversated” has made it’s way into the dictionary, too, but that’s another topic.
    Wait, this is BBP. Isn’t that what we do?

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  18. I enjoy Facebook, but it’s not all consuming for me. I’ve managed to stay away from Farmville, thank God. I only have a few friends because nobody remembers me from high school. Maybe it’s because I went from 11th grade drama club straight to the teenage mommy club. Oh well, after reading about all the stalkers and non-friends wanting to be friends, I think I’m ahead.
    I’m Lula’s friend!

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  19. I’m going to be a real pain in the a$$, but I think FB has too much inappropriate self-disclosure. People don’t know when to stop.
    Plus. The drama? No thank you. I can only imagine how dorky I would get finding a picture of me freak dancing at prom. Not that I would do that.
    And. Not that when the kids are napping, I’m freak dancing or anything.

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  20. I loved me some highschool, Junie! LOVED it…However, I do NOT love the facebook. I do not get the appeal. There is a reason I did not remain friends with certain people, and I don’t understand why, just because there is this forum, that I would suddenly want to strike up those friendships again.
    I guess I’m all bah-humbug about FB. I agree with Jessica, above, about the inappropriate self-disclosure. Some people REALLY do not know when to stop.
    Sorry to be a big Debbie Downer about your beloved facebook!

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  21. Ok, Gladys? You can’t keep throwing these tidbits out and not follow up with an explanation. “Witness protection?”
    Facebook? I’m on it, I’m one of Tallulah’s friends but I have no interest in Farmville, Yoville, Fishville, Whoville, Whateverville. I hate that Facebook tries to manipulate you: “I see you only have 14 friends. If you want to be one of the cool kids, you’ll have to invite more friends to join, ya loser!”
    I lost contact with 99.9% of my HS friends almost immediately after graduation (long story) even though I was one of the “popular” crowd. I’ve found some of the people who were important to me back then but I think I need to unfriend some of my “friends” because quite frankly, I have nothing in common with them and just because we ate paste in Mrs. Minnis’ kindergarten class doesn’t mean I want to reconnect with them.
    My son, Thing 1, HATES that his friends have sent me friend requests but hey, THEY reached out to ME. I rarely send anyone a friend request.
    FB is fine to kill a minute here and there but I could take it or leave it.

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  22. For me, and this is just me, I do not have any animosity toward people from my past, and I also find myself really curious about how everyone turned out. I am probably exactly who FB wants, right? I am even FB friends with my ex-best friend, who really hurt my feelings, but again, no angry feelings anymore and wanted to see what she was up to.

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  23. Several other communities I belong to have posted lately for me to go vote for their charity on some FB giving challenge (Chase Bank?) I don’t do much on FB, but went over there to vote, and there was this statement that said that if I voted, that gave Chase access to all my FB friends (not that I have many, but they don’t know that). That just creeped me out. There’s something about FB that is just a little too voyeuristic for me. Plus also too, if I did get active on FB, I would spend even more time reading about other people’s lives and not doing something with my own.

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  24. Love me some Facebook! I also loved high school and love catching up with all the people who shockingly now have beer bellies, wrinkles and have started wearing mom jeans, (both women and a few men). Unbelievable, these old people.
    I have had some Facebook high-schoolish drama of my own. One of my old boyfriends friend requested me and since I am a grown-up and able to handle a cyber-friendship with a man I made out with a couple of decades ago, I accepted his friend request. He was a wrestler in high school, in the lighter weight class range. I was shocked to see he was now the size of a sumo wrester and the years have turned him into a very large man with a bad combover and aviator glasses. He was really hot in high school, trust me. I commented one time on his status and I’ve hit the like button maybe twice in the last year on his page. He sent me a private message asking me to stop commenting and ‘liking’ his comments because his girlfriend was getting ANGRY! I was like, seriously? I guess she really feels she’s got to keep an eye on all those FB women trying to seduce her big boy with their Like buttons.
    I have a friend who also hates the folks who overly share. He is wicked. When anyone posts a status of sad news, (illness, death, depression, and general awful), he hits the Like button.
    I had a great time posting pics last week on Retro week. We all posted our prom pictures. It was so much fun. I’m not sure if anyone got jealous. I didn’t go to prom with Mr. Sumo, so his psycho won’t be coming for my bunny anytime soon.

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  25. If you’re concerned about Facebook (ie corporate America or the government or whomever), just make up a name that would make sense to your friends… like naming it after your dog or your old school mascot… “Rover Vikingsfan.” I’ve made up an email address where I send any junk mail or internet mail. So, when I registered for Facebook, of course I used my junk email box. The “about” info for my junk email box is just my initials and a made-up address.
    All my pics on FB are private (friends only, or maybe friends of friends). I don’t have any contact info listed and I don’t play the farm games or scrabble or whatever.
    Anyway, I’m just saying there are ways to be smart about it if you want to connect with friends but you don’t want to disclose your name or personal info.

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  26. Ah, FB is harmless if you take it for what it’s worth. I, too, am not a Farmville, or Mafia War, or any of the other stuff guy. I’ve had a bunch of questions about me posted (“Do you think Hulk is nice? Do you think Hulk ever punched someone?”) which are about the dumbest things there are.
    I actually just like to get on there and make goofy comments and have everybody develop some sort of crush on me…
    Junie-did you find me on there or was it the other way around?

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  27. I use Facebook, but mostly to keep up with family members who are scattered across the country. I did, however, stampede over to Facebook to send Tallulah a friend request and she accepted me. Yay!

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  28. Be careful when you get a video link from a fb friend. Our friend Tracy got a virus yesterday and had to let all her fb friends know not to open the ding dang thing. I didn’t get the virus, but god knows I tried to. Tracy, however, had to have the Rhodes IT guys come in and use a flamethrower on her computer’s nether regions.

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  29. I like Facebook and it helps me stay in touch with my family and friends. I do play Farmville when I have time and I really enjoy it. After a stressful day, it helps to play something mindless. I don’t mind hearing from people from my past either because it’s fun to catch up and see how old they look (because I haven’t aged a day).
    I love reading about Lula’s day and agree with you that we should try to be more positive about our status updates! Facebook is what you make it and I make it fun! 🙂

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  30. I, too, love me some FB! I will be rushing to “friend” Tallulah right away. I gotta get my numbers up. It has its stalkerish qualities, but I am all in for that and am very careful what I put on about myself. The people I get sick of I hide or unfriend. If you are a nosy person, it is right in your wheelhouse.

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  31. Love FB and yes, I am already friends with Talu. I’m an Army Brat and moved every year of high school, so it’s been fun finding people and seeing how they turned out and being amazed that some of them have done some interesting things. Also? Tagging our dorky pictures? Way fun.
    I do NOT do quizes or farmville or the games and appreciate that I can hide them from showing up.

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  32. I am with you. I lOVED high school. And I am OBSESSED with knowing the goings on of those I went to high school with. And nothing makes me happier than seeing photos of “hot guys” from 1984 who did not age well. Because I am broken that way.

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  33. I didn’t like high school but I don’t have bad feelings toward anyone. Still, I find stalking people from my past less interesting than stalking people from my future.*
    *My wishful thinking, never-gonna-happen future at least.

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  34. Pshaw, Chief. Your future will happen, girl. I wish I knew a lovely lass to fix you up with. Sadly I do not even have a hideous lass to fix you up with. My lass-finding-in-the-Northwest abilities are sadly lacking.

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  35. Baaahahahaha. Oh Paula. Bankville foreclosing on your farm. That is a riot.
    I liked high school fine, but as with most everything in my life, I spent a lot of it thinking about what was next instead of enjoying it.

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  36. LOVE Tallulah’s posts. High school depressed me; just a miserable time. Spend WAY too much time on FB, but not Farmville. So far, I’ve found only one HS friend, but I keep looking. Mostly I’m befriending (thanks, Furry Godmother!) my ex-work friends. (They left; I stayed.) I’m grateful to be able to still keep in touch with them. We are like family. And sometimes just as dysfunctional!

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