What a difference a day makes

As you may or may not know, and I hate it when I say that because effectively that phrase means absolutely nothing, I have had no work to do since January 5, when I dropped my last statistics book off in the

FEDEX

box.

This, to put it mildly, has disturbed me. I kept picturing us all on the street, wearing barrels. And really, why would a cat need to wear a barrel? But there they were. In my mind.

Barrelcat

And I know what y0u're thinking. You're thinking, June. With your talent at the Paint program, how could you be without work for even one day? Because that barrel doesn't at all look like a football with a hole in it. Or anything.

So I was gettin' a tad antsy about the no-work thing, and was totally ready to sell my body to the night. Roxanne. Except for the part where who is out there getting their debit card ready for a chubby 44-year-old?

But the good news is, this morning I got a call and tomorrow I have an interview for a part-time job, and oh! how I wish I could tell you what it is, because you would say, June. Other than creating photos using Paint, this job is redunkulously perfect for you. And it's a funny kind of a job, too, and I hate this part where I have to kind of be anonymous.

Crap.

So then I was all running around the house trying to fashion together something to wear to said interview–

and oh, let's talk.

I own one suit, because I had an interview somewhere fancy once in 2002 and I ended up getting that job and working there a day and three hours but let's not talk about that because Marvin STILL hates me for that one. But anyway, I put on said suit today and oh, my. The pants.

The pants. They splooted and sploomed across my hiptual area, and I realize I have just completely ceased making sense, but oh, dear God. They were so tight.

I looked like Tom Jones. Seriously. It's not unusual to be interviewing someone's ovaries. I mean, hello. They were not looking roomy, is what I'm saying.

What's new Pussycat, indeed.

Ooohh, woah, woah.

Anyway, I cobbled together an interview ensemble which will be fine as long as I can convince my new boss that it's 1999, and in the meantime I got an email from the publishing company, and they are sending me a new book to proofread. Tomorrow.

Then I got another email from another person saying, "I'm sending you some work."

So okay. I guess I'm good now, workwise.

I'll let you know if I bowl them over tomorrow. In my fashionable ensemble. At least if I get this job, I will be too busy to keep eating all the time, and maybe I'll fit back into those interview pants. Which will be useless because I will have already gotten the job.

I hope I can convince them I'm a lady. Oh-oh-oh, I'm a lady. 

60 thoughts on “What a difference a day makes

  1. Good Luck on your interview, June. I hope your pants look slim and trim.
    Just a little announcement to let you know, some of us posted our evening at 7:57 yesterday in your comments, last night. Most of us were late into the night, getting them up, so if anyone wants to check them out, it looks like everyone did what they were told and posted it to their blogs.
    Mine has a shout-out to Hulk in it. Just in case, Hulkster, you want to take a peek.

    Like

  2. yeah, june! i will ‘say a little prayer for youuuuooouuu!’
    and why is overstock dot com stalking me? cuz they totally got the things up there i was looking at yesterday. stalker weirdos.
    love me some tom jones.

    Like

  3. I love you yes I do. Knock them dead tomorrow June! I guess if they throw their bra and panties at you that will be the sign your interview was over the top. Then again that could be down right creepy. Well conjure up your inner Tom Jones and put a sock in it. You’ve got that interview in the bag.

    Like

  4. Nothing like some cheesy Tom Jones songs to get your morning started right, I always say. Congrats on the work, but now I am just so curious about this mysterious anonymous job. I’m thinking street hooker. Either that, or CIA agent.
    In other news, I completely forgot about the 7:57pm project, so now I will actually have to come up with an idea of my OWN for a post today. Crap.

    Like

  5. Hulkette and I went to our local minor league hockey team’s game last night. I sent Junie a few photos, including our life at 7:57. I’ll leave it up to her to decide what to do with them, since I don’t have a blog.
    I do, however, apparently have an offer on the table, eh Joanna?

    Like

  6. Oh, please June, after your interview which I’m sure you’ll totally rock, post Hulk’s photos for us!
    Hulkster, I HAD to give a shout-out to one of my favorite, bravest blog commenting men. It’s an estrogen world you get yourself involved in with us blog queens. Thursday nights are open Hulk, if you can find a way to the deep South and brave the boy with the guns. And NOT use either of the 2 C words. You know of what I speak. And yeah, Hooters, how much more stereotypical southern can my household get! But, we do love our wings!
    Keeping good thoughts coming your way, June. And I have a feeling, the big job is Barry Gibb’s song-writing proofreader! Am I right?

    Like

  7. Joann~
    Actually, I just think it is funny that you really believe the hubby goes “shooting”, then just “stops” by Hooters to gets some wings for the fam…
    But whatev… 🙂

    Like

  8. So, June, I have a question about the proofreading. No, it’s not “do you think I’d make a good one because I like to read” though I know you love that question. When you are proofing something, say in APA format, and it needs to be in Chicago, do you change it to Chicago? Because I’m trying to get this article published, I’m a doctoral student that writes in APA even in her emails. But this journal wants it in Chicago. I do not know Chicago. I do not have time to learn Chicago because I’m currently taking Statistics and that is taking up all my brain space for learning new things at the moment. Does a proofreader do that? If so, we must talk!

    Like

  9. And also too? Love the barrel picture, I think for your next Christmas card the entire family should be in barrels! And please post a picture of the ovary interviewing pants because that is hilarious 🙂

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  10. I get you, June. I do think that all bosses, higher ups, whatever, should get a humor and understand that people, you know, talk about their jobs but that doesn’t mean they don’t value their jobs. But I get you. Don’t worry… I won’t let it slip that you are going to be Dooce’s personal assistant. Oh. Oops.

    Like

  11. I get you, June. I do think that all bosses, higher ups, whatever, should get a humor and understand that people, you know, talk about their jobs but that doesn’t mean they don’t value their jobs. But I get you. Don’t worry… I won’t let it slip that you are going to be Dooce’s personal assistant. Oh. Oops.

    Like

  12. I get you, June. I do think that all bosses, higher ups, whatever, should get a humor and understand that people, you know, talk about their jobs but that doesn’t mean they don’t value their jobs. But I get you. Don’t worry… I won’t let it slip that you are going to be Dooce’s personal assistant. Oh. Oops.

    Like

  13. OMG, Tom Jones. His pants were so tight you could tell what religion he was.
    I’m going to guess your new job is … testing and editing recipes! Oh, I crack myself up.
    GOOD LUCK on the interview! Report back!

    Like

  14. OMG, Tom Jones. His pants were so tight you could tell what religion he was.
    I’m going to guess your new job is … testing and editing recipes! Oh, I crack myself up.
    GOOD LUCK on the interview! Report back!

    Like

  15. OMG, Tom Jones. His pants were so tight you could tell what religion he was.
    I’m going to guess your new job is … testing and editing recipes! Oh, I crack myself up.
    GOOD LUCK on the interview! Report back!

    Like

  16. What goes up, must come down, spinnin’ wheel got to go ’round…
    Don’t leave us hanging on your ovary pants. Why not just wear the barrel? Maybe you could get the sympathy hire.
    Poor Junie. I think you really need to have a steady job if long spaces of time in which you can while your time aimlessly away, trying on evening shoes while vacuuming makes you anxious. Me? I just pour a glass of wine, tart up one of the dogs and enjoy the show.
    But I’ve been doing this freelance gig a long time.

    Like

  17. What goes up, must come down, spinnin’ wheel got to go ’round…
    Don’t leave us hanging on your ovary pants. Why not just wear the barrel? Maybe you could get the sympathy hire.
    Poor Junie. I think you really need to have a steady job if long spaces of time in which you can while your time aimlessly away, trying on evening shoes while vacuuming makes you anxious. Me? I just pour a glass of wine, tart up one of the dogs and enjoy the show.
    But I’ve been doing this freelance gig a long time.

    Like

  18. What goes up, must come down, spinnin’ wheel got to go ’round…
    Don’t leave us hanging on your ovary pants. Why not just wear the barrel? Maybe you could get the sympathy hire.
    Poor Junie. I think you really need to have a steady job if long spaces of time in which you can while your time aimlessly away, trying on evening shoes while vacuuming makes you anxious. Me? I just pour a glass of wine, tart up one of the dogs and enjoy the show.
    But I’ve been doing this freelance gig a long time.

    Like

  19. I’m guessing she had so much fun in Tinytown that she’s applying to bne a church secretary again at a closer church.
    And thanks to June, It’s Not Unusual is now spinning madly around my brain. It happens every day. No matter what they say…

    Like

  20. I just hate it when I pull something out of the closet after several years and it doesn’t fit right. I blame the cleaners. You should definitely blame Sue.
    On first glance I thought Winston was wearing a sweater that made him look a bit rotund. Blame Sue.
    My first thought after reading you now have two new proofreading gigs is that maybe you aren’t meant to have the other job? Maybe the universe wants you to continue focusing on your freelancing?
    I wish you great luck with the interview. Do share with us how it goes!

    Like

  21. I just hate it when I pull something out of the closet after several years and it doesn’t fit right. I blame the cleaners. You should definitely blame Sue.
    On first glance I thought Winston was wearing a sweater that made him look a bit rotund. Blame Sue.
    My first thought after reading you now have two new proofreading gigs is that maybe you aren’t meant to have the other job? Maybe the universe wants you to continue focusing on your freelancing?
    I wish you great luck with the interview. Do share with us how it goes!

    Like

  22. I just hate it when I pull something out of the closet after several years and it doesn’t fit right. I blame the cleaners. You should definitely blame Sue.
    On first glance I thought Winston was wearing a sweater that made him look a bit rotund. Blame Sue.
    My first thought after reading you now have two new proofreading gigs is that maybe you aren’t meant to have the other job? Maybe the universe wants you to continue focusing on your freelancing?
    I wish you great luck with the interview. Do share with us how it goes!

    Like

  23. *snarf* Pants so tight you could tell what religion he was. Paula H&B you slay me. My Mom always told me it was a sock. Of course that was because my sisters were 12 and 14 years older than me. I could hear them talking about his packaging so my Mom broke in to give my virgin ears her version of the story.
    Furry, I wanna come part with you!

    Like

  24. I will be so jealous if you get a job naming paint colors. Because that would be an awesome job along with coming up with street names. 2 jobs I would totally excel at. And yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition because I’m a rebel that way.

    Like

  25. My guess is that she is going to artificially inseminate chickens in the new job. That could be fun. Or not.
    Or you could be applying to be the official wine tester at the local brewery/distillery/whatever-makes-wine place. Go June!

    Like

  26. It’s obvious from the pictures that June has been called to be an artist. Someone high up has discovered her mad skills in paint.
    Good luck, June! I hope it goes well for you.

    Like

  27. Miss Junie will definitely be working the camera at doggie day care or something to do with animals. Best of luck to you JuneGardens…the animals could be so lucky!

    Like

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