Where June is about as amusing as whoever writes those Bazooka Joe comics

I've got no funny in me today. I am sorry. I just can't get up my funny bone. So to speak.

Several people around me have had just crappy crappy and also carpy things happen to them lately and ugh. And no, I will not tell you what those things are, because again, I remind you I am a real person and not clown shoes. I can't just reel off everything for the sake of this blog. And also too everyone else's business is not my business.

Sometimes I do not feel funny.

"You don't have to be funny all the time, June."

Oh, of course I do. In this blog and in life.

Here is everyone else's job:


Here is mine:


Oy. That's nightmarish, isn't it?

And when I say bad things are happening to the people around me, I do not mean to Marvin. Marvin is fine. Marvin is absolutely Marvin, in his quintessential Marvin-ness. In fact, he just got two turtles for his classroom this week. I keep wanting to say their names are Cuff and Link, but those are the names of Rocky's turtles in, you know, Rocky, and I do not know why I can't seem to grasp that it isn't 1976.

Marvin's turtles are named Flo and Eddie, and I have yet to meet them, but I do know they live somehow under what used to be the grill in our fire pit out back, because Marvin dragged said grill in the other night and I didn't even ask. All I know is he told me one of his students said, "Mr. Gardens made a ghetto tank for Flo and Eddie."

So there you go.

Anyway. I tried to get my funny up. I really did. It's like I took whatever kind of Cialis you take to get funny, and I sat in that clawfoot tub in the middle of a field, and all of you are my attractive aging wife similarly situated in the other tub, smiling at me expectantly, and…nothing.

I guess we will have to cuddle.

115 thoughts on “Where June is about as amusing as whoever writes those Bazooka Joe comics

  1. Yes, that is true. He would propose to the women, they would absolutely always sleep with him, and in the morning his manager would have to go get the ring back. He kind of feels bad about it now. The only woman who did not fall for it was his wife, who he has been married to since 1970.


  2. June, I love you and all of my fellow commentors. So glad they had your back today.
    Finding you was the best click of the mouse I ever made.
    And on the day we talk about purple, don’t ask me to rhyme that or silver or orange either! Maybe Hulk would fall for that, but you can’t fool me.


  3. Several things have come up while reading today (good thing I’m not male…BAH WAH HAH!!!)
    First of all: Carin, please do all of your family, friends and co-workers a favor and pull that stick out of your butt. Who the hell do you think you are? Don’t like today’s post? Aww, that’s a damn shame! Move on sister, ain’t nothin’ for you here! You might be surprised to learn that no one is here for your amusement and all of us will happily move on without you…Carin who?
    Juney moon! {{{Hugs}}} Sorry you are having a bad day, let’s blame Sue…
    Well, now I can’t get the thought of Hulk’s unfortunate woman’s room visit out of my mind….or my virtual nostrils.


  4. I am dying, DYING! Paula H & B, that is the comment of the YEAR! I know it’s late and everyone’s probably done, but I just had to say that. I’m going to borrow that from now on. I hope you don’t mind? I’ll give you all the credit.
    And Mary Ellen, good job!!! You said exactly what we all wanted to say. And where are you from exactly in Napa? Cause that’s my favorite place in the whole wide world.


  5. Sorry you are having a bad day. Every one is entitled to have a bad day, so here is a hug. Your friends gather here daily because we love you. We have your back–don’t forget that, ever!


  6. Hey Joann,
    Thanks, it just got my Irish up over the fact that someone could carp on our June when she’s having a bad day.
    I’m not actually from Napa, I’m from Chicago (so don’t mess with me! I’ll call Vito in Cicero and he’ll take you for a ride…!), but I’m lucky enough to live in America’s Tuscany and I love it!


  7. Paula & Joann, I just come home from the hospital today sans my reproductive organs and was mourning their loss until I read your comments. Thank you – I really needed to hear that. June, your blog is the first thing I logged on to when I got home – don’t let that power go to your head. And speaking for myself, I’d rather read an unfunny blog entry from you than anyone else on earth. Truly.


  8. Sometimes you just can’t get your funny up. Funny thing is, you sort of got your funny up to explain to us why you’re not funny. You still got it, even when you’re down. Hang in there. I lurve you.


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