You just don’t find any Ritzes described as “out behind the Bob Evans.” Is the thing.

Dear Gitmo, I apologize. I seem to have wandered onto your facility.  Really, you should work harder on that security thing. When we shut off the light over our saggy, creaky, walnut-sized bed last night, it was like in The Brady Bunch, and I am not even going to try to go back and italicize … Continue reading You just don’t find any Ritzes described as “out behind the Bob Evans.” Is the thing.

The blue thing from when we stepped on a glass at our wedding. And if that title doesn’t suck a reader in, I don’t know what will.

Yesterday, I included a picture from my wedding day, which was 50,00 years ago, before everyone had cell phones and felt the need to constantly text each other and Skype and Hulu and whatever else you all do out there with your modern conveniences such as getting water out your refrigerator doors. In the comments … Continue reading The blue thing from when we stepped on a glass at our wedding. And if that title doesn’t suck a reader in, I don’t know what will.

In which June discusses everything and nothing

It is 11:07 a.m. and I am printing out a job to proofread and drinking coffee out of my Bye Bye, Pie mug. It has been awhile since I hawked my merchandise. Be cool! Buy Bye Bye, Pie! merchandise! Wow. Do you think I should give up this proofreading career and go into marketing? Because … Continue reading In which June discusses everything and nothing

Breaking celebrity news

Okay, wait, what? Sandra Bullock's husband really slept with someone else? Y'all know I am off celebrity gossip. I had not heard of this until it was on my CNN page. WHO did he think he was gonna find who better than SANDRA BULLOCK? Sandra Bullock, who not only is beautiful, she rescues three-legged dogs?

St. Patrick’s Day. The day we all gather around and cut soap.

Every year, I think about writing my post in green on St. Patrick's Day and every year I never do it, because my blog is annoying enough.I would like to give a shout out to Emma, my friend Dottie's daughter, who was born on St. Patrick's Day. Top of the Lucky Charms to ya, Emma!Today … Continue reading St. Patrick’s Day. The day we all gather around and cut soap.

An entire post about calendars, and I really did have stuff to talk about, like the BIRD BEAK I pulled out Tallulah’s mouth.

I have to go to the post office today to mail my father a calendar. I KNOW. It's March. It's the middle of March. And by the way, two different times yesterday I mentioned the Ides of March and got a confused look from people. I said, "Beware the Ides of March!" to a receptionist yesterday … Continue reading An entire post about calendars, and I really did have stuff to talk about, like the BIRD BEAK I pulled out Tallulah’s mouth.

Red-eye flights. Screwing people up since whenever they invented red-eye flights.

I got home at 9 a.m. and then I just woke up. Tallulah was zero inches from me, by the way. She was doing the thing where her snout was up the back of my neck and in my hair. I think she did not like it that I was gone. I am gleaning this … Continue reading Red-eye flights. Screwing people up since whenever they invented red-eye flights.