Newhair

I understand that I have the world's most fake smile in this photograph, and I do not know why. However, as soon as I took this picture, the stupid stupid stupid battery died on my camera and that was the end of that. So you are stuck with my phony personality.

So he cut fringe. He told me a "bang" is a way British people procreate, and a fringe is what we do to our hair. He also said you dye an egg and you color your hair. He was full of the info. I liked Salon Blu without the "e." Of course it was the coldest, windiest day on earth and in my mind when I got out of the car the salon was on 380 Elm and I ran up and down Elm in this typhoon, which, is a typhoon even windy? Anyway there wasn't even a 380 Elm at ALL, and finally I knocked on a window where this man was painting something.

"I'M LOOKING FOR 380 ELM!" I screamed.

Does it seem to you like I'm always looking for something in this town?

Anyway, the man unlocked his door and let me in to what turned out to be a pizzeria that wasn't opened up yet that day, and man Polly quit cryin' did it smell good in there. He looked up Salon Blu on his Frankenberry ("b-l-u?" he kept asking me.) and it was not even remotely on 380. What is WRONG with me? At any rate, you can imagine how my hair looked when I got in the salon. Imagine being a hairdresser and my hair blows in there from a typhoon. If a typhoon is even windy.

While I was in there, in Salon Blu, it started to snow a little. "Oh, look, it DID snow," said Neal, the poor man doing my hair. There was a rumor it was going to snow, but we hadn't believed it. When we moved from the removing-my-roots part of the day to the cutting-my-hair part, my parking meter was about to run out, so Neal ran out to refill my meter.

When he came back, he looked like one of those people from Pompeii. He was completely covered in snow. Not that those poor people in Pompeii were covered in snow. I looked outside and it was like the whole world was a snow globe. "Holy crap," I said delicately.

So the hair you're seeing above was in fact after being pelleted with snow both on the walk back to my car and on the walk into my house, and I still think it's cute. And also, could it be spring now? My poor daffodils are starting to sprout up, and they are getting sick and tired of being snowed on, for heaven's sake. And I know I just sounded 110.

So that's what's going on with me. I have fringe. It snowed. Oh, and we are going to Marty Martin's for the Oscars, so the part where we will all be meeting up for Oscar night will be live from Marty Martin's. June is taking her show on the road. With her fringe.

89 thoughts on “Fringe

  1. Liz says:

    Oh, and June – love the hair. And you look great too! The Topomax may be making you forgetful but you look svelte!

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  2. Liz says:

    Sharon! That is hilarious…no wonder I always get a pitying look from my Brit-friend when I tell him my bangs are always cut too short!!

    Like

  3. I was really confused when I read Hulk’s comment about the Buckeyes, as in, “Did you see them Buckeyes last night?” I thought, “Well, clearly he’s crazy or watching ESPN Classic, because football is over. Then I found out there are other sports besides football. Who knew?

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  4. Your hair looks fanTAStic! I love it! Damn, now I want to visit Salon Blu-without-the-e. He really tamed the “wild horses” that live on your cranium.
    It also makes you look younger. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. Emily says:

    Man, I needed that before bed! Every time I read your blog I feel like I just had a fun chat with a girlfriend. So – xoxo!

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  6. Mother says:

    You are looking awfully thin, but your hair is nice. I have an answer to your question re: the address. Did’nt you say, “What’s wrong with me?” I have one word for you, Topomax.

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  7. Chelsea in Texas says:

    Welcome, Caroline!

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  8. June Gardens says:

    See, I knew you had the English degree because you had the word chortling going on. And *I* thought you were funny with your newspaper line.

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  9. Jenene says:

    I’m surprised that no one answered your typhoon question. I just found out that typhoons are tropical storms that occur on the Pacific side of things, west of the dateline.
    There, now isn’t your more complete because you know that?
    And your hair looks great. I am appropriately jealous (not so jealous that I hate you, and not so unjealous that I’m practically saying that your hair isn’t all that great).

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  10. Caroline Balke says:

    Hi, June, I am new to your blog and have been chortling through the archives. I have a problem, though. Reading your funny stuff makes me believe that I am funny, too, so I have been making random comments to strangers and cracking myself up. I took my newspapers to the recycling place today and could not figure out which bin was designated for newspapers. When the young hot guy pointed to the bin labled “newspapers,” I said, “Oh my, I wonder who has been reading these newspapers because I obviously cannot read!” What a funny June-like thing to say, (I thought to myself). Let’s just say that he was not impressed. So, now, everybody is going to think I am weird in Huntsville, Texas, but it is all your fault! I also have a degree in English, but nobody can usually tell. Please notice that I have placed commas everywhere, in fear, because I am terrified that you can see that I did not get my money’s worth. Thanks for the great blog!

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  11. Jules says:

    Love both the color and cut! Neal is the man! The “Neal ran out to refill my meter” made me laugh too! I need someone to refill my meter…

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  12. apronstrings says:

    I. Love. Your. Hair!!!
    There was a little girl
    who had a little curl
    right in the middle of her forehead;
    when she was good
    she was very, very good
    and when she was bad…
    she was great!!!! heehee

    Like

  13. Hulk (Not that there's anything wrong with smoking...) says:

    And I don’t get the “fanny” thing. I know cigarettes are called “fags”, but that is about it.

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  14. Hulk (Who hardly EVER gets groups wrong...) says:

    RED RIDER!! DANG it…

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  15. Lisa Pie! Pants on the ground…Bwahahahaha!

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  16. Lisa Pie! Pants on the ground…Bwahahahaha!

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  17. Lisa Pie! Pants on the ground…Bwahahahaha!

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  18. Yeah, over here it’s a toss-up between humming “Surrey with the fringe on top” and Carpool Queen’s new anthem “Pants on the ground” Bwahahahahahaha!!!
    Pants on the ground, pants on the ground . . . .

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  19. lauren says:

    AT the french frie…AT

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  20. lauren says:

    MMM…how about the day I asked for a napkin and the french frie…wait..chip stand?

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  21. Nithya says:

    June, the hair’s so cute!
    Also, surely I’m not the only British BBP reader here? There must be others who were like “a fanny pack? Sounds dirty!”
    I think the worst misunderstanding was signing up to a day out on a small boat in Australia. My friends and I got on board and the first thing we were told was “take off your thongs” to which we panicked and wondered what kind of crazy nudist holiday package we’d signed on for. Turns out thats what Australians call flip-flops.

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  22. Chrissy says:

    Nice!!!! Very few things make you feel as good as a GREAT experience at the salon!!

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  23. I’m now singing “Surrey with a Fringe on Top.” Thanks a lot. Oh, and Duffylou, I shall not be answering your question about the welcome mat because there’s a reason they’re called “unmentionables”.

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  24. Hey June, I just realized that if you chi’d your hair straight that you would have the same haircut as me only longer. Give me thirty-seven (“37”) minutes and I’ll grow it out…
    Then we can be twins!

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  25. Hey June, I just realized that if you chi’d your hair straight that you would have the same haircut as me only longer. Give me thirty-seven (“37”) minutes and I’ll grow it out…
    Then we can be twins!

    Like

  26. Hey June, I just realized that if you chi’d your hair straight that you would have the same haircut as me only longer. Give me thirty-seven (“37”) minutes and I’ll grow it out…
    Then we can be twins!

    Like

  27. Yes, Tee. Just don’t ask him to smack you on the fanny.

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  28. Yes, Tee. Just don’t ask him to smack you on the fanny.

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  29. Yes, Tee. Just don’t ask him to smack you on the fanny.

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  30. Tee says:

    Look at you! Love the cut and the color is great.
    Our pastor is British. He “educated” the entire congregation as to the difference between pants and trousers. He politely informed us pants are under garments. We all cracked up. Should I ask him about bangs?

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  31. Duffylou - your fredericks of hollywood correspondent says:

    *not to be seen until later in the evening…

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  32. Duffylou - your fredericks of hollywood correspondent says:

    From the past century when I had a body that could do a g-string justice, this was about the only choice there was to make in the “sex” ladies department. A very small triangle of satiny material and a thin piece of elastic sewn onto lace ribbon and voila! G-string! They’re still around, but oh my goodness, can you say-pick your seat-for the show?
    Now the thong is usually wider, made of a softer material, but made to wear under fashions to not be seen.

    Like

  33. For Hulk: I- O!!
    I have a question, I’m not purposely being daft, but really, is there a difference between a G-string and a thong?
    I’m just askin.

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  34. Terraplane says:

    Duff, you killed me: “I hear that Salon Blu has a very fancy welcome mat. Although we’d have to ask Carpool Queen to be sure if it is a thong or a g-string.” While she might be the expert on dropping trow, I think I could tell the difference.

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  35. Suzanne says:

    Dye vs. color. Who knew! Love the look.

    Like

  36. lauren says:

    Oh my comment disappeared. And I used the shift key.

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  37. Duffylou - up for new tunes says:

    Hey Hulk, did Golden Earring really do a version of Lunatic Fringe? I’d like to find it.
    In my day it was Red Rider and it was kick ass.

    Like

  38. oh it is CUTE! I have the curly big hair problem, but it always behaves and looks nice when I use Aveda Be Curly. Is that what you use? I recently got my hairs trimmed and then the stylist decided I needed fringe too, but mine is longer. I nearly had a heart attach though when she swept a bunch in front of my face and cut it off at the chin. I didn’t ask for that. I asked for long. Heart attack. But it turned out cute and everyone seems to like it ๐Ÿ™‚

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  39. Expat, I know fanny, Fanny, FANNY ! There. Now June will show up on British porn sites. We know someone with a daughter named Fanny and I cannot bring myself to say the child’s name out loud.
    *giggle*

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  40. Expat, I know fanny, Fanny, FANNY ! There. Now June will show up on British porn sites. We know someone with a daughter named Fanny and I cannot bring myself to say the child’s name out loud.
    *giggle*

    Like

  41. Expat, I know fanny, Fanny, FANNY ! There. Now June will show up on British porn sites. We know someone with a daughter named Fanny and I cannot bring myself to say the child’s name out loud.
    *giggle*

    Like

  42. Try saying the words “pants” and “fanny” to a Brit and see what they do. Bwahahahaha!

    Like

  43. Hulk (Who wishes June would at least TRY to understand a sports reference...I mean, I'm really trying to wrap my mind around dog emotions...) says:

    Ask marvin if Golden Earring’s “Lunatic Fringe” is about Laura Ingalls’ bangs. Charles will be so proud I’ll bet he…well, you know…
    Big Ten CONFERENCE, Dirtymind. You know? The conference YOUR alma mater is in???
    I heart Carin. Not as much as Fawn or Juice or Kathy Ireland, but she is definitely top ten…

    Like

  44. June Gardens says:

    Mary, my stupid post posted twice yesterday, and I deleted the second one and Ill bet I accidentally deleted your comment. I wish quote marks showed up on my stupid comments, because I would so use air quotes right now just to make you paranoid. No, really, that is probably what happened.
    ย 
    And Hulk, Big Ten WHAT?
    ย 
    Also, I like how poor Carin came on here one time, left one mean comment, and has become evil enemy number one for all time. Slays me. I wonder if she ever checks back? I wonder how her nagging cough is treating her?

    Like

  45. Tiffaney, who unlike Carin, likes June's new haircut and color says:

    BTW, cute ‘do!

    Like

  46. Tiffaney, who is stalking June's best one-liners but in a non-creepy, non-Carin kind of way says:

    Frankenberry. I pink, puffy, sparkly heart June.

    Like

  47. Mary Vogel says:

    Gonna leave a comment although I think June is trying to tell me something – seems my comment from yesterday was removed because I can’t find it all, anywhere, nowhere….and all I commented about was Lu’s cute sheep. So today I will say I like your hair June and I’ll leave it at that and see if this comment “disappears” too…..

    Like

  48. Hulk (Who went to a school show last night with Hulkette about the rain forest but got home in time to see THE Ohio State Buckeyes clinch the Big Ten...) says:

    Is that what the song “Lunatic Fringe” is about??
    Hey all you Illini…HOW ‘BOUT THEM BUCKEYES LAST NIGHT???
    YO DAWN–O H…

    Like

  49. Kari says:

    I love it! And as for the word “fringe”, don’t you remember that from your Laura Ingalls Wilder addiction? I remember in one of the books, she goes and gets her bangs cut, only back then it was called a “lunatic fringe” b/c it was all scandalous to cut a woman’s long hair.
    Aaah, the useless things all jumbled in my brain. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  50. Jan says:

    Love it! I agree with everyone, the color or cut or combination really are making your eyes look bigger and blue-er.
    And I am in Illinois and it is true, the entire state has been applauding all day because your sis-in-law got her roots done. I think they may have decalred it a state holiday. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

  51. Look at you, all curly-q! I like it! Great color!!!

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  52. Fanny. Don’t EVER say fanny in London. No.

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  53. Fanny. Don’t EVER say fanny in London. No.

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  54. Fanny. Don’t EVER say fanny in London. No.

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  55. Love the cut! I have never heard of calling bangs fringe. When I saw the title, I thought you were going to talk about the TV show Fringe, and I thought, crap, I don’t watch that.
    I thought in England, the proper term for procreating was “shag.” That’s what I learned from Austin Powers. Then again, isn’t that a type of haircut as well? And a rug? What’s wrong with those Brits?

    Like

  56. Mommy like. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Is it me or did the cut make your eyes look bluer? It’s all about accentuating the eyes…

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  57. Megsie says:

    Love the new “do!” And I loved the Pompeii people comparison…Still Laughing!

    Like

  58. Duffylou says:

    I hear that Salon Blu has a very fancy welcome mat. Although we’d have to ask Carpool Queen to be sure if it is a thong or a g-string.
    Love your hair. Joann is right, the color and the fringe make your eyes a more vivid blue.

    Like

  59. Two thumbs up on Neal and Salon Blu! You look great.
    I wish I could stay around and play today, but work work work instead. : (

    Like

  60. Terraplane says:

    Fire your photographer. Keep the hairdresser.

    Like

  61. d-lou says:

    oh the love!!!!!!!
    yep…nice do. well done. well done.

    Like

  62. Worse Sharon. They think you are doing it on your forehead.

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  63. Worse Sharon. They think you are doing it on your forehead.

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  64. Worse Sharon. They think you are doing it on your forehead.

    Like

  65. Sharon says:

    So anytime I talk to British folk about my bangs, they think I’m discussing my sex life?
    Love the fringe. Also love the necklace.

    Like

  66. Jill Munroe who wishes her hair color turned out as great as June's. says:

    Like Furry said…you’re banging the fringe! That color is fab & I pray those blue eyes never *ploink* out of your head. They are just too pretty.
    I hope you had somewhere great to go yesterday so you could show off your new do.
    It’s a 10!!!

    Like

  67. Melanie in Ok says:

    Super cute! I want your hair, too.

    Like

  68. Kathy F. says:

    *your -meant to type “your”.

    Like

  69. Kathy F. says:

    Great look! I wish I had you hair. Seriously. I do.

    Like

  70. The hair and the color-super, super cute. And it does make those blue eyes pop. Glad you like your new salon. The perfect hairdresser is EVERYTHING in my world.

    Like

  71. The hair and the color-super, super cute. And it does make those blue eyes pop. Glad you like your new salon. The perfect hairdresser is EVERYTHING in my world.

    Like

  72. The hair and the color-super, super cute. And it does make those blue eyes pop. Glad you like your new salon. The perfect hairdresser is EVERYTHING in my world.

    Like

  73. Culpepper says:

    Looks good June. I have been a fringe person for years and cannot have a hairstyle without it! What is your hair color called. It appears to be red/light brown on my computer screen. Whatever the color, it works perfectly with your eyes…you are so dang adorable.

    Like

  74. Hulk (Who went to a school show last night with Hulkette about the rain forest and it had a bunch of animals and birds and it was really cool and NONE of the animals were distressed...) says:

    That’s the same smile you had when you visited me. What are you trying to say?
    Very nice hairdo. I mean it.
    A question: can Marvin give you the same crap now about that hair-straightener thingy that you give him about his ipod music-buying habits?

    Like

  75. “When he came back, he looked like one of those people from Pompeii.”
    Reminds me of an outdoor festival we did once that was so dusty that when a car drove by a cop on duty, my friend Jacatae said he looked like a powdered donut.

    Like

  76. “When he came back, he looked like one of those people from Pompeii.”
    Reminds me of an outdoor festival we did once that was so dusty that when a car drove by a cop on duty, my friend Jacatae said he looked like a powdered donut.

    Like

  77. “When he came back, he looked like one of those people from Pompeii.”
    Reminds me of an outdoor festival we did once that was so dusty that when a car drove by a cop on duty, my friend Jacatae said he looked like a powdered donut.

    Like

  78. othermama says:

    Looks great. Is Talu jealous?

    Like

  79. sis in law says:

    I got my roots done yesterday (and yes that is the entire state of Illinois you hear clapping) and I came so close to cutting fringe. Seeing how cute your hair looks is making me reconsider.

    Like

  80. “Mother Nature is a festering syphilitic whore”!!!
    I love it! Even down here in *balmy* Florida she is a festering syphilitic whore!

    Like

  81. Paula H&B says:

    My Swee’ Pea hair and I are SICK with jealousy! So so cute.
    I think a typhoon is windy. Isn’t it a backwards hurricane? Now I have to look into THAT. The things I learn on this blog. Did you know octopi are SMART? Ask Furry G.
    People from Pompeii. DYING.
    And don’t speak to me about the weather. It is snowing AGAIN. Mother Nature is a festering syphilitic whore.

    Like

  82. Paula H&B says:

    My Swee’ Pea hair and I are SICK with jealousy! So so cute.
    I think a typhoon is windy. Isn’t it a backwards hurricane? Now I have to look into THAT. The things I learn on this blog. Did you know octopi are SMART? Ask Furry G.
    People from Pompeii. DYING.
    And don’t speak to me about the weather. It is snowing AGAIN. Mother Nature is a festering syphilitic whore.

    Like

  83. Paula H&B says:

    My Swee’ Pea hair and I are SICK with jealousy! So so cute.
    I think a typhoon is windy. Isn’t it a backwards hurricane? Now I have to look into THAT. The things I learn on this blog. Did you know octopi are SMART? Ask Furry G.
    People from Pompeii. DYING.
    And don’t speak to me about the weather. It is snowing AGAIN. Mother Nature is a festering syphilitic whore.

    Like

  84. DB in MD says:

    Great hair! Tres chic!

    Like

  85. Love it! So, so cute. Plus, your new color makes your eyes look REALLY, REALLY blue! Very pretty!

    Like

  86. A.Dor.Able. (say that in your head with a French accent and by accent I mean ack-sahnt) It makes your eyes look HUGE. Love it.
    You’re banging the fringe.

    Like

  87. A.Dor.Able. (say that in your head with a French accent and by accent I mean ack-sahnt) It makes your eyes look HUGE. Love it.
    You’re banging the fringe.

    Like

  88. A.Dor.Able. (say that in your head with a French accent and by accent I mean ack-sahnt) It makes your eyes look HUGE. Love it.
    You’re banging the fringe.

    Like

  89. Love the fringe! I’ve always thought you had pretty hair. It’s because I’m envious. I can only wear short, red colored hair when I would really like to have long strawberry blond colored hair. Let’s face it, it will ALWAYS be colored something.
    I had one lone daffodil bloom in my backyard yesterday. That means it’s spring, right?

    Like

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