Seriously boring today. I think it’s the sickle-cell anemia.

On Tuesday, I am going to Seattle for five days, and it's a whole thing, and I am taking Mr. Horkheimer, my dead cat, and I will tell you all about it on Monday, because you need photos and the back story and I just don't have time to tell you today and there is no point in telling you over the weekend since about four of you read me over the weekend.

The cat is cremated, so if you were worried that there is somehow going to be some kind of grotesque dead cat picture on my blog on Monday, I would never do that to you. Horkie was the love of my life. I would never, you know, splay his poor gray fluffy dead cat body on my blog. Geez.

You know, I am thinking that I may keep just a teensy bit of his ashes and put them in some kind of locket. Clark Gable did that. Not with Mr. Horkheimer's ashes, because that would make no sense, but with Carole Lombard's. Technically not with her ashes; when she died in a plane crash they found her diamond earring, and he had a small silver box made with the earring inside, and he wore that box on a chain for the rest of this life, and he was married 109 more times and I can tell you what, if I were the next wives I would be annoyed.

I always kind of identified with Carole Lombard, because she wasn't all that pretty but she got the hot guy by being funny, and not-that-hot-women-who-get-hot-guys-by-being-funny unite! That's what I say.

Anyway the way I'm rambling on, at this point I could almost have told you the whole Seattle story but again, you need photos and that's gonna take time and have I mentioned I have work to do?

On Wednesday afternoon I got a call from a place I freelance, and they said hey, can you do this small job for us, and from the sound of it it seemed like it'd take me two hours, maybe three, and really I am kind of already pressed for time but I want to keep them using me so I said okay.

FIFTEEN HOURS LATER, FIFTEEN, I just returned that hellish job to them. So now I am totally screwed with all the other work I had.

So that is why I have to go now. But remember to come back here at 6 o'clock Eastern time this Sunday so we can start looking at the red carpet people. Just stampede right to the comments; that's where we'll all be. We will be catty. We will be shallow. And if you don't usually comment, now is your time to get over it. It's the Oscars! It's time to break out of your shell and be bitchy! So put on your swan skirt and see you then. Or, you know, tomorrow, if you are one of the four who read me on Saturday.

62 thoughts on “Seriously boring today. I think it’s the sickle-cell anemia.

  1. The Temptaions? I would think they would be easy to spot. Just look for five black guys all dressed in sequined tuxes and dancing and spinning in unison…
    And when you saw Walter Matthau, how hard was it not to say, “Look Buttermaker, quit bugging me about my food. People are always bugging me about it. My shrink says that’s why I’m so fat. So you’re not doing me any good, so JUST QUIT IT!!”

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  2. Hi from one of the four. I catch up on my blog reading on Sat mornings, what can I say? Can’t WAIT for the Oscars and the comments on your blog. They are sure to be more entertaining than the doofus commentaters on the TV.

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  3. Dang! You’re going to be so close but so far! Seattle is only a two hour drive for us as well, but we make the drive only a handful of times, and if we go, we go for the whole day. And we can’t swing that during the week.
    And also you totally have your own plans. It’s not like you’re going to sit around waiting for all your Seattle-area fans to come around. But maybe someday!

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  4. Cosmo’s Dad, that is so exciting! But what an odd cast of characters. I know why Dudley and Liza were paired, but Walter and Richard? BTW, were you manned with fire extinguishers, you know, just in case?

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  5. Furry G! the hosts were Walter Matthau, Liza Minnelli, Dudley Moore, and Richard Pryor…. needless to say there was a party atomosphere….anyone who was in their mid twenties in 1983 will know what I mean….those in convents or fundenmentally (wwjd) screwed up need not apply.

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  6. I will happily be here for the Oscar party. I am even planning to get my lesson plans done early so I can fully enjoy both the red carpet and the BBP comments.
    Speaking of BBP comments, I had a dream the other night that Carin came back and said all these sugary nice things in the comments. I woke up then, probably because my brain didn’t know where to take that dream next! It’s too fun to have her as a bad guy.
    What does that say about my life, though? Has this blog ever crept into anyone else’s dreams?

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  7. The Oscars are lots of fun. One assignment I had was to bring the Temptations to their dressing room. They were there performing “Eye of The Tiger” from Rocky 3, best original song or something….Anyway.
    What do the Temptations look like? Hulk, you and Junie know, 5 guys from Michigan….I waited at the stage door for the first most Temptationeeee, man I saw, I lucked out and he was…a.. Temptation, I asked really nicely if he would please wait with me for to identify the rest of the group…it worked out…I don’t have a lot of temptation(s)left now.

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  8. Oh, and I’m SO sorry to miss the Oscar snark-party on here. Dang. My husband’s momma is coming over to watch it with me! We love watching the awards shows together because we have the same taste and always love the same dresses! MAN, it must be fun to dress up like that with all those diamonds and free stuff!
    I will be with you all in spirit! : )

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  9. PS: I’m readying my comments for those red-carpet people who look as if they rolled in the street and got dressed in the dark.
    And the hair-dos! They actually pay to look like they never saw a comb.
    I guess I’m just not Hollywood material.

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  10. I’m one of your faithful Sunday readers, I’m proud to say. Your blog is the first thing I check after my emails!
    And, I also know of your trip to Seattle, and I’m sending good ju-ju along with you.
    Lastly, I could NEVER part with Lady’s ashes. The box with her ashes sits in the living room next to the photo of my husband’s dearly departed Grandpa. Where are you putting Horkie?

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  11. June, I read you every day of the week, when you post. I do enjoy your blog and your family of commenters. They’re the best!

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  12. Furry, I parakeet sat when I was 10 for a neighbor, the dog chewed the parakeet a liitle too much, I saved it in a baggie to in the freezer.
    In 1983 & 1984 I worked for AMPAS, and was a tuxedo guy, who gave the statue to the bimbo, who gave it to the presenter. It was fun…..annndddd this way to the green room…

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  13. Planning on being at the party too Sunday cause I have no other life and where else to spend Oscar night than with a bunch of commenters on a blog…..no really, I’m looking forward to it – I was just practicing my bitchy.

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  14. I am usually not one of the four people that read your blog on Sunday, but I always catch up and read everything I missed on Monday. I’ll bet everyone does that. It’s too funny to miss part of it. 🙂

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  15. Cosmo’s Dad, you know there’s a company that can take the ashes and have a diamond made out of them, right? The Horkimer Diamond. I like it.
    Oh, and once we greatly disturbed our pet sitters because I had a hamster die while we were away. I told them to put her in a baggie in the freezer.
    Wonder why they won’t eat dinner at our house anymore?

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  16. Cosmo’s Dad, you know there’s a company that can take the ashes and have a diamond made out of them, right? The Horkimer Diamond. I like it.
    Oh, and once we greatly disturbed our pet sitters because I had a hamster die while we were away. I told them to put her in a baggie in the freezer.
    Wonder why they won’t eat dinner at our house anymore?

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  17. Cosmo’s Dad, you know there’s a company that can take the ashes and have a diamond made out of them, right? The Horkimer Diamond. I like it.
    Oh, and once we greatly disturbed our pet sitters because I had a hamster die while we were away. I told them to put her in a baggie in the freezer.
    Wonder why they won’t eat dinner at our house anymore?

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  18. June don’t do the sprinkling of ashes thing on a windy day. You will spend hours brushing the cat out of your new do. Or you will end up with a mouth full.

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  19. Joann, that is so, so sweet. We’re from Chicago and when the Cubbies make it to the world series (in 2010, of course) I think we’ll borrow your tradition and do the same thing for our dad’s ashes (which we still can’t decide what to do with…or at least that’s what we say).

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  20. My dearly departed dog Dinah’s ashes are in a cedar box. The box is displayed in my china cabinet right next to the Murano glass collection and my Grandmother’s wedding vase, circa 1920.
    I have no qualms about Dinah’s ashes being in the dining room.
    My daughter has already told me she is taking some of my ashes to put into a pendant before I’m laid to rest. Or shoveled into the BBQ pit. Wherever I’m going. She doesn’t think this is creepy but my mom sure thinks it is.

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  21. joann, that’s a really great tradition.
    Hey June, I may need to go the freelance proofreader route if my department’s reorganization plans toss me outside the box, so to speak, and I’m curious (you may call it none-of-your-business nosy, which I’ll understand) about what you do when you find that a job takes so much longer than you first thought. Are you able to go ahead and bill for the extra time?

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  22. Stopping in for a quick hi. I’m still with company, although this is good company, my brother.
    I have no pet ashes. But, I do have my Dad’s cremated ashes. My big pack of siblings and I can’t bear to part with him. When his beloved Cubbies play, we sit him in his favorite recliner, put his fishing hat on top of the urn and place an ice cold Bud next to him. I don’t how he feels about that, but we sure like having him around.
    We’re kind of freaks like that.

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  23. June, I always learn something new here. The Carole Lombard keepsake? Using it.
    I’ve talked to many folks who are saving their pets ashes to take with them on their own final journey. Egyptian style.

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  24. Oh, Hulk, in Phoenix right now it is 65.4 degrees. Saginaw MI, 25.2 lovely degrees. Can’t remember your town right now cause of this ding, dang, and also dagnabit crud that I have.
    You’re welcome.

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  25. Hulk (Who's wondering if anyone knows the temp in the Phoenix area and HOW MANY??? degrees above MI that is...)

    What if all your pets’ final wishes were to actually BE laid to rest? Instead of being carted all over or left in some garage sale candy dish? I mean, ya’ll anthropomorphize all their other feelings…
    Oh, June-I’m just kidding. Don’t get your new hair all riled up. You and I will be on the same side of the states next week. Opposite ends of the thermometer, but same side of the country.
    I too know why you are going. I offer my best…
    And LisaPie-Oh MAN!! I GREW UP listening to Al Green. The Old Man LOV.ED. him…I still can here his 8-track playing on our boat in Londo Lake as we waterskied the weekends away…

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  26. Megsie, The rice option sounds really good! I have a rice that has like 5 kinds in it, red rice, brown rice, white rice, wild rice and something else. That would be really nice in there. I need to write this recipe down. Do you mind either posting it or emailing it to me? Since I didn’t do it the first time!

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  27. Oh, and I forgot to tell you… I made the poppy seed chicken casserole. I mixed up the two recipes to suit my own hankering and it turned out delish. Thanks for the dinner idea. I used 16oz sour cream and one can cream of chicken soup but next time I will switch to see which one I like better. I used 2 sleeves of Ritz, 1 and a half sticks butter, and a pound of noodles. Plus the 4 cups of chicken…YUM! Has anyone ever tried RICE instead of noodles?

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  28. It is so nice to hear that I am not crazy. Or, at least that there are other people who are crazy with me. My dog, Ralphie’s ashes are actually right here, by the computer. I put him there two years ago when I brought him home, and I have yet to find a place for him. I don’t want to bury him because if we move it would break my heart too. Ahhhh, crazy kindred spirits!

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  29. Speaking of ashes. My dad’s wife…I refuse to call her my step-mother, so we will just call her ‘Psycho’…gave me a dog urn for Christmas & said it was a candy dish. To make it even worse, if that’s possible, she got it at a garage sale.
    Used dog urn candy dish. I’m saving it for a white elephant gift.

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  30. I’m with LisaPie. I’ve got my sweet Daisy Doodlebug’s ashes in a little box…just waiting till we actually live somewhere for a while. We’ve moved her few times, too. I just don’t know where to “leave” her. 😦 And I could never leave her behind. 😦

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  31. I was wondering when you would be heading to Seattle. You are a good egg, June.

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  32. Tiffaney, who's starting to feel a little remorseful for her cyber bullying, but don't think I'll actually stop or anything

    I’m so gonna channel my inner Carin on Sunday.

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  33. I have my dead dog Sammy’s ashes in my closet. I have carried him with me through moves from 4 countries and 5 cities. I could never bear the idea of burying him and leaving him behind.
    Have a wonderful time in Seattle and I can’t wait for the Oscar party with all the pithy remarks! However, I will be tardy for this party as I have theater tickets again! Just like the Super Bowl last month. Wth are they thinking, giving me tickets on major event days? I need to complain.
    I will see you here tomorrow!

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  34. I am kind of excited about Sunday because I have never been included in an online Oscar snark-fest. The last Oscar party I went to was disappointingly not catty at all. And believe me, I tried.

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  35. So what is your timeline while in Seattle? Are you all booked up? It’s a two-hour drive for me, but I’d gladly make it if it means I can have some dead cat ashes for a locket. And maybe a lock of your hair.

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