Getting my Uncle Bill a job. Not on Family Affair. Oh, and also heaven.

I have many things to do today. First of all, I am taking a picture to the restore-old-pictures place, and I am excited about that. Except that I called the place and they haven't called me back. Their website doesn't list their hours, and I do not wish to traipse all the way downtown (it's like a SIX-MINUTE drive! I KNOW!) if they're not open, and I am starting to get irritated that they're not calling me yet.

Why aren't businesses more efficient? Put your hours on your website. Put your hours on your answering machine. Call people back when they call you. I mean, this is my first impression of you and so far? I am not liking you.

Also too, I have to clean the house because hello, animal fur. Somehow we suddenly have carpet. Also, I have not unpacked yet, rather I keep getting what I need out of my suitcase and zipping it back up. I know. I am shameless.

My tidy grandmother is rolling in her ashes.

Finally, I have to get outside and weed weed weed. Oh, that yard is messy all of a sudden. It was too hot to weed yesterday. It was near 90. I like how the South goes from 30 degrees to 90 in one week. Don't worry about a transition or anything. Just stampede right for ungodly hot right away. Thanks.

Oh! Guess who just called. The photo restorer place. Okay, now I feel bad because he was really nice. Do you want to see what I am having restored? Okay, hang on.

Heaven
I borrowed this photo from my Aunt Kathy, because this picture is how I think of heaven, should I get in. Which let's face it. I don't even unpack three days after I get back from a trip. I am so not getting in. But these are my family members (those are my grandparents in the lower-left), in their party hats and so forth, and this is what I expect. They'll all be in some '50s-looking kitchen, all festive, saying heyyyyy! About time you got here.

Because I hope to be, you know, 90, when I get there. Anyway. I'd like to remove the water damage from my heaven, if that's okay, and the photo restorer guy said no problem.

And speaking of my Aunt Kathy, I promised her I'd do her a favor. A solid, as it were, which to me always sounds kind of gross. It's about her husband, my Uncle Bill, and here is where you all come in.

My Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bill lived in Vermont for a couple years, where he worked as a quality control guy, busily controlling the quality of things, but Aunt Kathy was way homesick for Saginaw. Which, yes, I am baffled by that, too, but she has lived there her whole life and missed her people and so on, so believe it or not, my uncle got a really good job in Saginaw of all places, working as (guess what?) a quality control guy. Right there! In Saginaw! Where nobody is working. I mean, it was something of a miracle. Michigan has like 25% unemployment, and Saginaw is one of the hardest-hit cities.

Right after they got there, my Uncle Jim got sick. So it really was great that they got there when they did, because they have always been very close to Uncle Jim, and they have been able to be with him this whole year, and help out and make Uncle Jim laugh and do whatever. The whole thing worked out perfectly.

Except for the part where Uncle Bill got laid off. Right at Christmastime. And now he has been looking for a job, anywhere in the U.S., since then. Aunt Kathy has asked me to list a little paragraph about him here since people from all over read this stupid blog, so here it is:

My Uncle Bill is a highly effective manufacturing and quality leader, who has demonstrated the ability to lead teams to new levels of success in highly competitive, fast-paced, high-volume manufacturing operations.  Strong technical qualifications in Operations, Lean, Six Sigma, Quality and supplier development, with an impressive track record of more than 25 years of hands-on manufacturing accomplishments.

I have no idea what most of that means. I do know that my Uncle Bill can fix absolutely anything in the house and he's the type of person who can build an entire deck before you're even awake. Also, he can talk on the phone with me and read my blog at the same time and not seem distracted. At any rate, if you need your control qualitied, email me and I will hook you up with Uncle Bill. He has put up with my family since the '80s. The man can do anything.

***UPDATE***

Just got back from the photo restoration place. You know what would have been helpful? Is had I remembered to take the photo off the scanner when I put it there TO SHOW ALL OF YOU!

Carp.

Guess I'll go back to the photo resoration place again. At least I realized my humiliation before I walked in.

105 thoughts on “Getting my Uncle Bill a job. Not on Family Affair. Oh, and also heaven.

  1. Lol, Bill! That’a the way it always is on the comments thread.
    And anytime ANYONE mentions Sarah Palin, it goes to hell in a handbasket –fast. She’s “inspirational” that way.

    Like

  2. Lol, Bill! That’a the way it always is on the comments thread.
    And anytime ANYONE mentions Sarah Palin, it goes to hell in a handbasket –fast. She’s “inspirational” that way.

    Like

  3. Lol, Bill! That’a the way it always is on the comments thread.
    And anytime ANYONE mentions Sarah Palin, it goes to hell in a handbasket –fast. She’s “inspirational” that way.

    Like

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