Greensboro she said is the name of her star

My father called me yesterday. "I see you're getting your Uncle Bill a job on your blog," he said. "Can you find me a skinny 22-year-old with loose morals and a bottle of Viagra?"

You know…

Some people have fathers who wear elbow patches and call them "kitten." That's all I have to say about that.

Thank you, everyone, who helped my uncle yesterday. I have to call him and make sure he read all the comments, because some of you provided links to your company websites and such, and I have to make sure he slogged through Faithful Reader Hulk's asinine comments about hunting and saw said links.

In the meantime, I took that picture downtown for the photo restoration and ended up staying in the shop for an hour talking to the photo restoration guy. We sat at the table and talked about Greensboro and the downtown area and photography and just had a stellar time. The photo restoration process has come a long way in 30 years. He has some pictures sitting in huge glass vases, under water, to show how nowadays water damage will no longer be an issue.

So I'm excited to see how he fixes my heaven picture. I told him that my picture was a heaven picture and he got a big charge out of it. He also asked me if I wanted to Photoshop the cigarette out of my great-uncle's hand and I was all hell, no. Why would I want to do that? He said a lot of people do that now, take cigarettes out of old pictures. Why would you mess with the truth like that, is what I want to know. I wouldn't tamper with authenticity.

Anyway, I am throwing in more pictures of my journey back to Michigan, in which I did not see any members of Journey.

Jujuslemon

My stepfather was eating a lemon like it was good. I mean, just sitting there eating a lemon. So I dared my cousin's kid to eat some, and here she is doing so. You have to hand it to a kid who takes a dare.

Whyimtall

Once I went to a Chinese wedding. It was really cool. Ten-course meal, food I've never eaten before, the bride wore three dresses, including a red one. But when I stood in line for the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and noticed I looked like the fricking Statue of Liberty, so towering was I over everyone else. That is how I felt here with my cousins' kids. Anna, in the middle, there, seems to have gotten my hair, but so far she has managed to pull it off. Her hair is really beautiful. Am hoping it doesn't get, you know, like mine.

We were at Jim's funeral, and the blue ribbons are for a fallen officer.

They told me they didn't plan to all wear zebra stripes. Well, two of the girls are sisters, so there must have been some planning, there. When we went to my Aunt Kathy's after, and the two sisters went home, I saw Anna standing there, alone, the only child. Totally know what that feels like, having the quiet empty house to yourself when the cousins go home, while you stay at gramma's.

I used to love it.

Oh! And finally, this is so exciting.

My grandmother was always a member of the Eastern Stars. I have no idea what the Eastern Stars were, because it was super-secret, and Gramma and all her sisters would dress all up and go to these super-secret meetings, and they could not reveal what they did there. Somewhere we have HOT pictures from the early '70s of everyone in long white dresses and kind of beehive-y hairdos, and they are all dude-d up for Eastern Star.

About 10 years ago I started wondering whatever happened to Gramma's Eastern Star ring, and I was thinking Gramma was buried with it. She wore it all the time and it was way cool. It was a star, and each prong of the star was a different color: red, green, and so forth.

Anyway, guess who has Gramma's ring now?

Ring

My Aunt Kathy had it, and when I had 48 fits she gave it to me. But she said, "I should warn you, legend has it that people who wear Eastern Star jewelery who aren't members are plagued with headaches."

The Department of Redundancy Department called.

And hey, why is the screen on my camera making little stripes like that? Am I being cursed by the Eastern Star?

Oh! And one more thing before I go. What do you do with your daffodils when they're getting puny-looking? Do you cut them back? How far?

Okay, off to try to Google Eastern Star things.

91 thoughts on “Greensboro she said is the name of her star

  1. I grew up in the sprawling metropolis of Mount Morris, MI. where the cool kids were in DeMolay. It’s funny that I hadn’t thought of that in years. My father wouldn’t allow me to join. He never said why but I’ll bet it had something to do with the secretnessy stuff. Hmmmmm…I should ask him about it. I thought it was supposed to be like the Water Buffalo Lodge on the Flintstones. Hey, if it was good for Fred and Barney then why not me?

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  2. Furry, you are so right…that’s where I got that.
    Speaking of Chinese, I’ve been to China more times than I would like to admit and I’ve eaten things I never ever thought I would. I’ve eaten things like scorpions and some kind of worms. Along with fish eyes (no, not tapioca, but real fish eyes…argh).
    I think they feed that stuff to the Americans while the cooks in the back eat the good stuff.

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  3. Ah hell, I grew up Catholic and Catholics were forbidden, by order of the Church which is totally different from the Order of the Easter Star, from becoming Masons so I never heard of Masons or Job’s Daughters until I was in high school and a friend of mine was in Job’s Daughters and so I thought it was something to do with her church.
    Call me insensitive (“Hi, Insensitive!”) but thinking the Masons are a cult and practice some sort of Satanic ritual, well, dude, really? But I guess any time there’s secrecy involved, people will assume it’s a cult. And I know from Cults. My mom was in a cult for a long time and gave tens of thousands of dollars to the cult leader before she finally broke free.
    Oh, and had I known there was crowns involved in Job’s Daughters or Eastern Star or whatever, I SO would have joined because I love me a nice sparkly crown!

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  4. Duffylou- wasn’t trying to offend, but the RG meeting I went to they made us dance around in a circle singing a song and pledging our alligence to the grand popah or whatever. They made us all dress alike and told us it was a big secret that we couldn’t tell anyone. Then they told us to try and recruite only our “rich” friends.
    But hey in 1968 I thought the girlscouts were a cult too. 🙂

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  5. I don’t know anything about ES, but I did inherit my mom’s plastic Koolaid pitcher and 4 little Koolaid glasses. We must have drunk (drank?) a lot of Koolaid back in the day for my mom to be able to send in the packages and get the free pitcher (the only way we would have anything that cool). Cherry and Black Cherry were my faves.

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  6. I hate coming here late. That effin CARIN totally had something to do with my job’s internet crackdown. Hate her.
    Your dad’s request reminded me of friends of ours who were discussing adopting a baby from Asia. The wife wanted a little Chinese baby. Then the husband said he’d like a 16-year-old Polynesian girl. Annnnnnnnd there went that whole discussion, as you can well imagine.
    Wasn’t Eastern Star the sequel to Terms of Endearment? Wait. No, Evening Star. Never mind (Rosanne Rosannadanna).
    And June, I know you don’t want to muck with authenticity by removing cigarettes from the picture, but how hilarious would it be if you replaced them with blunts? The woman back by the door could be toking a bong. And the couple in the front? Red dress? Totally could photoshop in some bondage there.

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  7. I hate coming here late. That effin CARIN totally had something to do with my job’s internet crackdown. Hate her.
    Your dad’s request reminded me of friends of ours who were discussing adopting a baby from Asia. The wife wanted a little Chinese baby. Then the husband said he’d like a 16-year-old Polynesian girl. Annnnnnnnd there went that whole discussion, as you can well imagine.
    Wasn’t Eastern Star the sequel to Terms of Endearment? Wait. No, Evening Star. Never mind (Rosanne Rosannadanna).
    And June, I know you don’t want to muck with authenticity by removing cigarettes from the picture, but how hilarious would it be if you replaced them with blunts? The woman back by the door could be toking a bong. And the couple in the front? Red dress? Totally could photoshop in some bondage there.

    Like

  8. I hate coming here late. That effin CARIN totally had something to do with my job’s internet crackdown. Hate her.
    Your dad’s request reminded me of friends of ours who were discussing adopting a baby from Asia. The wife wanted a little Chinese baby. Then the husband said he’d like a 16-year-old Polynesian girl. Annnnnnnnd there went that whole discussion, as you can well imagine.
    Wasn’t Eastern Star the sequel to Terms of Endearment? Wait. No, Evening Star. Never mind (Rosanne Rosannadanna).
    And June, I know you don’t want to muck with authenticity by removing cigarettes from the picture, but how hilarious would it be if you replaced them with blunts? The woman back by the door could be toking a bong. And the couple in the front? Red dress? Totally could photoshop in some bondage there.

    Like

  9. I like grape Koolaid.
    My grandfather was in a group like that called the Oddfellows. Knowing my family, that’s pretty appropriate. Grandma was in the women’s group Rebekahs. She was the Grand Poo-Bah or whatever they called it for a while.
    I’m glad you got the ring, June.

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  10. Your picture of lemon-eating child has compelled me to regale you with

    , a video compilation of babies eating lemons.
    Everyone tells me I am a horrible person for thinking this is hilarious and wanting to feed my future child a lemon.
    You should offer a lemon to your beasts and photograph their reactions.
    And to join the conversation, I liked Fizzies, and was always super-glad when I could find a package. I was always scared to put them in milk, because that just sounds wrong and gross and a crime against nature.

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  11. From the tone of things, I think it might be better if we did not discuss religion, cults and insults towards precious photos of long dead loved ones. BTW, will no one comment on how beautiful June’s grandfather was with his blue eyes and sad demeanor? Uncle Jim looked just like him except for the blue eyes Oh, and that was not a ’50’s house although the scene was ’50’s. It was a 19th century house.

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  12. june – do you know about Claire’s? The little shop for little girls filled with inexpensive jewelry that is so fun – saw many a tiara there tonight and I often wear my daughter’s around the house. You should go – it’s up your alley. Fun, fun, fun.

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  13. I’m new to your blog and loving it! (thanks, I’ve been going back and reading the archives…and not getting a whole lot of work done!)
    My grandparents were in the Mason and Eastern Star….groups…cults…whatever you call them! We still have Grandma’s white dress somewhere and lots of mason stuff, ashtrays and whatnot. I don’t think Grandma had the ring, I’ll have to check but I do have my Great Grandmother’s wedding ring which only fits on my pinkie finger…she was tiny.
    You are hilarious by the way!

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  14. Now you have that cool ring AND your great class ring…NO FAIR!
    Really, it is great to have cherished mementos from the grandparents. I love mine too! Enjoy.

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  15. Uncle Bill,
    I’m curious. Did you mean to call Uncle Herm a bother or a brother? I can’t decide if you were being deliberately funny or mistyping like the rest of us. 😉

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  16. It can’t be a “secret” society if everyone knows they exist. Masons don’t hide. Their meeting halls are in nearly every town – just look. It is a fraternal organization and like any fraternity they have an initiation and ceremonies that are members only, but they also have public ceremonies. All of the other masonic organizations run under the same premise – Easter Star, Rainbow, Job’s Daughters, DeMolay, White Shrine, Daughters of The Nile, Amaranth, Shriners, Commandry, Scottish Rite…
    They also have nothing against Catholics joining. In fact there are a lot of Catholics on the membership rolls. The problem is with the church allowing its members to join. If you’re Catholic and want to join a masonic organization you’ll have to take it up at confession, but the organization really doesn’t care. They support your beliefs whatever they are – and this tiny point of equality is what has hardcore Christians in an uproar and making accusations of occult practices. Whatever.
    These are social clubs that put in a lot of work supporting charities in your community. Shriners Hospitals? Shriners are masons, not the builder type of masons, but freemasons. The guys in the funny little cars at parades.
    Signed,
    Grand-daughter of a mason and an eastern star, daughter of an eastern star, mother of a Demolay and a Job’s Daughter, a Christian

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  17. OMG You are quoting show tunes in your title! (Took me a second to realize) Granted it is Wizard of Oz but still; showtunes?

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  18. So I’m totally late to this party, and I’m a lurker, but I had to post (thanks Puzzle Master for the heads up). I’m a member of Eastern Star! And I have a ring! I also wore a crown when I was in Job’s Daughters.
    I’m not here to educate, just wanted to let you know that at least one of your readers wears a white dress without the beehive-y hairdo.
    Cheers!

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