My father called me yesterday. "I see you're getting your Uncle Bill a job on your blog," he said. "Can you find me a skinny 22-year-old with loose morals and a bottle of Viagra?"
Some people have fathers who wear elbow patches and call them "kitten." That's all I have to say about that.
Thank you, everyone, who helped my uncle yesterday. I have to call him and make sure he read all the comments, because some of you provided links to your company websites and such, and I have to make sure he slogged through Faithful Reader Hulk's asinine comments about hunting and saw said links.
In the meantime, I took that picture downtown for the photo restoration and ended up staying in the shop for an hour talking to the photo restoration guy. We sat at the table and talked about Greensboro and the downtown area and photography and just had a stellar time. The photo restoration process has come a long way in 30 years. He has some pictures sitting in huge glass vases, under water, to show how nowadays water damage will no longer be an issue.
So I'm excited to see how he fixes my heaven picture. I told him that my picture was a heaven picture and he got a big charge out of it. He also asked me if I wanted to Photoshop the cigarette out of my great-uncle's hand and I was all hell, no. Why would I want to do that? He said a lot of people do that now, take cigarettes out of old pictures. Why would you mess with the truth like that, is what I want to know. I wouldn't tamper with authenticity.
Anyway, I am throwing in more pictures of my journey back to Michigan, in which I did not see any members of Journey.
My stepfather was eating a lemon like it was good. I mean, just sitting there eating a lemon. So I dared my cousin's kid to eat some, and here she is doing so. You have to hand it to a kid who takes a dare.
Once I went to a Chinese wedding. It was really cool. Ten-course meal, food I've never eaten before, the bride wore three dresses, including a red one. But when I stood in line for the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and noticed I looked like the fricking Statue of Liberty, so towering was I over everyone else. That is how I felt here with my cousins' kids. Anna, in the middle, there, seems to have gotten my hair, but so far she has managed to pull it off. Her hair is really beautiful. Am hoping it doesn't get, you know, like mine.
We were at Jim's funeral, and the blue ribbons are for a fallen officer.
They told me they didn't plan to all wear zebra stripes. Well, two of the girls are sisters, so there must have been some planning, there. When we went to my Aunt Kathy's after, and the two sisters went home, I saw Anna standing there, alone, the only child. Totally know what that feels like, having the quiet empty house to yourself when the cousins go home, while you stay at gramma's.
I used to love it.
Oh! And finally, this is so exciting.
My grandmother was always a member of the Eastern Stars. I have no idea what the Eastern Stars were, because it was super-secret, and Gramma and all her sisters would dress all up and go to these super-secret meetings, and they could not reveal what they did there. Somewhere we have HOT pictures from the early '70s of everyone in long white dresses and kind of beehive-y hairdos, and they are all dude-d up for Eastern Star.
About 10 years ago I started wondering whatever happened to Gramma's Eastern Star ring, and I was thinking Gramma was buried with it. She wore it all the time and it was way cool. It was a star, and each prong of the star was a different color: red, green, and so forth.
Anyway, guess who has Gramma's ring now?
My Aunt Kathy had it, and when I had 48 fits she gave it to me. But she said, "I should warn you, legend has it that people who wear Eastern Star jewelery who aren't members are plagued with headaches."
The Department of Redundancy Department called.
And hey, why is the screen on my camera making little stripes like that? Am I being cursed by the Eastern Star?
Oh! And one more thing before I go. What do you do with your daffodils when they're getting puny-looking? Do you cut them back? How far?
Okay, off to try to Google Eastern Star things.