Last night Marvin and I were sitting on the couch, and the TV wasn't even on, although music was playing from his laptop, so to speak. But you could not even describe said music as loud by any stretch of the imagination. We had the following exchange.
June: Oh, you know what? I'm out of Vitamin D tablets. I should have gotten more when I went to the store today.
Marvin: We have macaroni and cheese.
Marvin: There's a lot of macaroni and cheese. Why don't you just have that?
June: What are you TALKING about?
You guys. I'd say a quarter of our conversations deteriorate in this tragic way. We had another one like this yesterday morning in the laundry room and neither one of us can remember the particulars. But trust me. Marvin is as deaf as a post.
I know I have told you this before. It's because of his years of playing in bands and constant listening to music and earphones and I'm certain the 57 screaming kids he works with now do not help.
Why do kids have to scream? When I was a kid I did not scream. I have several relatives and a friend who has known me since I was a kid who read this blog who can back me up on this. I was pretty much the same as I am now. I sat around and drank coffee and blogged.
Anyway, you know he will not go see a doctor about this. I have a friend who when she gets sick says she's gonna take it like a man, "meaning I'm going to complain about it and not see a doctor."
But if he did see a doctor I have this vision in my head that they'd tell Marvin he was a special case, and all the highfalutin' hearing aids wouldn't work on him, and that he'd have to use one of those giant cones like they used in the olden days. He'd say, "Eh?" and have to hold that giant thing up to his ear. You know the thing I'm talking about? It kind of looked like the pointy thing they used to talk on the phone in The Flintstones.
How did they not puncture their eardrums on that phone? And God forbid they had to cradle it to take a message.
Anyway. If Marvin is this deaf at 43, imagine him at 63.
My grandmother, the one I am turning into,
was married to my grandfather, obviously, and he, too was hard of hearing. He was in World War II, and I don't know about you, but almost everyone I knew who was in WWII got deaf eventually, probably because of the bombs and the guns and so forth. I don't know. I wasn't there. Anyway, my grandmother, the one I am turning into, talked constantly, CONSTANTLY, and my grandfather would just turn off his hearing aid.
He was a really happy person.
So maybe this is God's way of saving Marvin. He can just drift off and inventory our macaroni and cheese, you know?
I would discuss this theory with Marvin but he would never hear me. Perhaps I could take up interpretive dance and discuss it with him that way.