You may remember about a month ago, I went to Seattle to visit my friend Paula (that's her on the left) after her breast cancer surgery. We initially thought she wouldn't have to have chemo, but it turns out she does. She starts today.
But before you get all tragic about it, listen to this! She will not lose her hair, nor will she get sick! I like how we're reading this under all of our feet, here. Kind of cracks me up. Anyway, they gave her a choice. She could have four treatments and do the classic losing of the hair and getting sick. Kind of the Chanel of chemo. Or she could go for many weeks and NOT have those side effects. She opted for door number two.
Who even knew they had come up with such a thing? I mean, if you have to have chemo, that is really great. Which is easy for me to say because I am not the one over there having chemo.
So Paula is there right now as I type this. I asked her what she had to do and she said she just sits there and reads magazines and such, and after she can go to work. She doesn't even get to go home and watch The Price is Right. I told her she could get out her iPhone and laugh loudly and say to the room, "When I'm getting my chemo, there's nothing better than reading that Bye Bye, Pie!"
Really, how do I keep any friends?
Paula said maybe I could make a coffee mug that reads "I get my everyday chemo every day."
In other news, another Paula, who comments on my blog every day, the everyday Paula who comments every day, Paula H&B, has sent us a photo.
Paula H&B is in the top 1% of funniest commenters, if you want my opinion. She is hilarious, and I am telling you, I know I say this all the time, but my commenters are redunkulously hilarious.
Poor Paula H&B has been BANNED from the Internet at work. I mean, not her personally, but her whole workplace has been cut off. So she can see my blog from her phone, but then she has to sit there and think funny thoughts all day long and not WRITE THEM, and sometimes she even emails them to me because she CANNOT STAND IT, and at about 6 p.m. every day (not everyday), my comment section just EXPLODES with Paula H&B fever.
Anyway, Paula H&B is moving, a thing she has mentioned, oh, for the last nine million days in a row. She'll mention it, and then someone else in the comments will say, "Oh, Paula, are you moving?" and someone else will say, "Why haven't you told us?" and anyway, you know it's getting serious because Paula H&B has brought her Bye Bye, Pie mug to the new house.
You, too, can have a Bye Bye, Pie mug if you click on the Buy Buy Pie Stuff button on the right, up there. Yes, it's a button. No, I did not make it myself.
And speaking of book club, which we were not, don't worry, we seemed to get the most votes for A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick, and I just like the name "Goolrick." So let's read that. Since I was an unreliable book club leader, let's push our deadline ahead and say we'll meet May 23 at 7 p.m. Eastern. Be there or be unreliable.
Finally, I have one more Uncle Jim story to tell you, which I learned at his funeral. A policeman spoke, I think he was a police chief or something. I don't know. Many important police people spoke and I could not keep track. Anyway he said he asked around the office and heard many stories about my uncle, a lot of which were inappropriate to tell.
I know what he means. There are a lot of Uncle Jim stories I would like to tell you but I worry about offending everyone.
Anyway, my uncle was at work, and some poor guy came to the police station as a potential vendor, wanting to sell his wares to the policemen. He was nervously giving his spiel, and my Uncle Jim was standing there drinking his coffee, as per usual, listening to the guy.
After a while, Uncle Jim said, "Hey, would you like some coffee?" They guy said he would.
So my uncle hands him his mug. He just hands the guy the mug of coffee he had been drinking from that whole time!
Apparently the poor guy actually drank a few sips before nervously putting the cup on a table.
Oh, my Uncle Jim was evil.
So there you go. There is my Uncle Jim in a nutshell.
I must go proofread everything in the world now. I officially am proofing two books at once. Ack. Which explains why I wrote the world's longest and most disjointed post.