Bond. Aged Bond.

I know it seems like I pick on Pam Anderson all the time, or you know, one other time, but I saw her on Joy Behar last night, and she said it'd be nice to be a Bond Girl.

Okay.

Pam. Honey. You were a Playmate of the Year TWENTY YEARS AGO. TWENTY. You may be using Gold Bond Medicated Powder. You are not going to be a Bond Girl.

A Bond Girl. You could be a Golden Girl if they do a remake. I mean, she is my age. What world is she living in? It irritates me that she has no grip on reality.

And she looks great! You know, for someone who is 82. She really looks wonderful.

I know it seems like I don't like her, and in fact when it comes to celebrities, I kind of do. I really do think she is still pretty, and believe it or not, if you look at photos of her from 20 years ago it would appear that other than breast augmentation, she has not ruined herself with plastic surgery. Honest. Go look. Okay fine, I will show you.

90s

Here she is on Baywatch in the '90s, where she apparently thinks time has stood still.

Now
And now. Yes, she has aged, but she is still a beautiful woman who believe it or not I think has aged without surgery. 

I just think she sees herself as, you know, 22, when GIRL, YOU ARE MIDDLE-AGED. LET ME BE THE FIRST TO TELL YOU.

Because I am certain she checks in with Bye Bye, Pie on a regular basis.

A Bond Girl. I am irritated. Now watch. In six months we'll read that she is the next Bond Girl.

And while we're on this deep topic, I do have one confidential note to my super-intellectual, extra-hoity-toity Real Housewives of New York pals:

If I had legs as good as Kelly, I would wear dresses that short all the time. I know I continue to be the only person in America who likes Kelly. Other than Kelly.

I know many people did not understand the paragraph above. It's okay. You have to be a razor-sharp intellectual to really get The Real Housewives of New York. Don't beat yourself up about it. Go listen to NPR or something.

A Bond Girl. Oh, that chaps my hide.

89 thoughts on “Bond. Aged Bond.

  1. Hulk (Who doesn't get it...I mean, did KFC TEASE them first?? Is KFC the NAZIS of the fast food world. Does McDonald's shake the cow's hoof first???) says:

    I wanna know Marv: Were they real?

    Like

  2. ok ok I call truce. I’ll slink back to my corner and not comment any more since it was nothing more than an offhanded comment, not intended to have everyone draw lines in the sand and turn it into a political debate. Violence of any kind, physical or verbal (or typewritten), is never ok. Period.
    Carin made me do it.

    Like

  3. Tiff, I think it was my comment that was taken out of context. I didn’t mean to stir things up. I want to like PETA, i just can’t. I was looking for an excuse to get on board. Please comment. Every voice is loved here.
    And Junie. I know you love the pink, but just say no to the pink eye. It is very contagious and hurts like the dickens. Whoever he is.

    Like

  4. Tiff, I think it was my comment that was taken out of context. I didn’t mean to stir things up. I want to like PETA, i just can’t. I was looking for an excuse to get on board. Please comment. Every voice is loved here.
    And Junie. I know you love the pink, but just say no to the pink eye. It is very contagious and hurts like the dickens. Whoever he is.

    Like

  5. Tiff, I think it was my comment that was taken out of context. I didn’t mean to stir things up. I want to like PETA, i just can’t. I was looking for an excuse to get on board. Please comment. Every voice is loved here.
    And Junie. I know you love the pink, but just say no to the pink eye. It is very contagious and hurts like the dickens. Whoever he is.

    Like

  6. It was my attempt at being funny, to “lighten” the mood. As opposed to lightning, the flashes in the sky that usually happen during a storm. Because obviously I am not humorous nor am I able to spell today.
    Now if you don’t mind Tiffaney, I think I will take the opposing corner and slink off as well. That is all. Good night.

    Like

  7. Sorry, I think Kelly is dumb as a stump, and mannish looking. I am beginning to think every woman on this show is a split-personality. Totally unlikeable one minute and normal the next.

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  8. I’m not even sure if anyone’s out there. I just wanted to clarify, I don’t love pinkeye, the inflammation. I love pinkeye, the Furry.
    But I do love most things pink, especially when it’s a $6,000 purse. I just don’t love pink infections. I could just see you Juney, trying to be your all encompassing self after my comment. “Well, I do love pink, so maybe I’ll try on the pinkeye for size?”
    No, because pinkeye is horrible and full of lots of crud and it’s not pretty pink and let’s just get the f**ck off the subject of PETA because I have to be up before the rooster crows to walk In The March of Dimes Walk.
    So Goodnight and gosh nab it, just like Kelly, I love fur and I love animals, but I hate PETA.. and Proposition 8, but it’s far too late for any sort of discourse. So GOOD NIGHT!

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  9. Goodness, what a cranky bunch of crankerbritches we have all been today, with our slinking and our corners and our flinging of blood. And then I had to go and try to get pinkeye. I was supposed to walk in that March of Dimes walk one year, and I remember it was on April 24 that year as well, because it was the morning after my friend Mariannes birthday and I was too hung over to walk. Nice.

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  10. Jeez. I was gone all ding and dang day and missed all the excitement. DING DANG IT!
    Why the rage and pot-stirring Hulk? Shouldn’t you be out of the bitter barn now that you’ve got a friend, a lady friend? 😉
    My heart goes out to you, Furry. Hate the pinkeye. But when I worked, (well, I work now but not at the same job and not the same hours and I really can’t think of what I do as work, I digress) I secretly coveted it. When you work with people with compromised immune systems, pinkeye=at least two days off, with pay. SCORE!

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  11. hugs to Furry, you know I adore you and hope you are on the mend FAST, Ms. Pinky Eye Tuscadero.
    hugs to Duffy Lou. You’re an awesome defender.
    hugs to anyone else who joined in the fray.
    Except Carin.
    😉

    Like

  12. Did anyone see Halle Berry as a Bond girl? She is older than Pamela. Demi Moore is older than Pamela. Of course, they are waaay better actresses than Pam, but I’m not sure that is the main ingredient to be a Bond girl.

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  13. Well, its TRUE. Everyone at my class reunion who was black looked 100 times better than everyone at my class reunion who was white. We white women all looked like Charleze Theron in Monster.

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  14. TT just got very excited that I was looking at pictures of Pammy. I think he would like her to be a Bond girl. I don’t think lack of acting chops will matter. Did you see Denise Richards as Christmas Jones? Oh dear.

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