In our continuing quest to be not so broke, Marvin is outside right now having a yard sale. I think he would literally sell the yard if I would allow it. At six o'clock this morning he started stomping around the house, climbing into the attic, and very unappealingly splaying things on a dirty orange tarp on the front lawn.
Here is a picture Marvin took of himself and put on Facebook. He is updating his status and the status of his yard sale every 15 seconds, and I figure by the end of the day he will be completely unfriended.
I have to proofread 50 pages today, and there is no way I cannot do so, as I am SO BEHIND on my work. Plus also I am demoralized, because I applied for a freelance job with another textbook place, and they sent me a test, which pretty much every place does when you apply for a proofreading job.
I didn't pass it.
You guys. I have been a proofreader for THIRTEEN YEARS. I do not blame Topamax, although I did initially. I have the test here, because I emailed it in, and naturally I went over it again 850 times because I cannot believe I didn't pass it. I have found some things that MAYBE should have been fixed, but they are really nebulous, and certainly subjective.
I always pass those things like a champ. I always do better than anyone else at those stupid tests.
They emailed me and said, "Thanks for taking our stupid-ass test. We will contact you this afternoon if you passed." I was all, pfft. If I passed. You will email me crying this afternoon. You have never seen such poetry as you have this test.
And I mean, I really found some crap in that test. I found names in the bibliography that weren't in the body of the text. I found references IN the text that weren't in the bibliography. I found a "fortunately" that should have been an "unfortunately." I mean, they threw all sorts of tricks in there other than simple spelling and grammar.
Bastards. I couldn't BELIEVE it when I didn't hear from them. I figured the person who was supposed to email me must have gotten food poisoning or something.
But then I didn't hear from them the next day.
I mean, maybe he DIED from food poisoning.
So I'm just saying, not only do I have to proof 50 pages today, but now I am convinced I have lost my mojo and I have to proof 800 times slower than usual, so I cannot help Marvin with this idea that he came up with at six o'clock this morning. And I have to tell you the part where strangers are in our yard?
Tallulah is really enjoying that part.
I was just trying to talk on the phone with my aunt, because go 50 pages of proofing! And she said, "That dog sounds like a German shepherd." Tallulah has the meanest, deepest bark you have ever heard.
So now I think I have to go to the library, or I will never get my 50 pages done. Because between Nazi Talu and the status updates and my self-doubt and the ABSOLUTE NECESSITY and my Topamax, I am in for a stupid day.
So far we have made $3, though, on the yard sale. And Talu has pulled two vocal cords.
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