I thought I'd better hurry up and post, in case you were worried sick that I didn't live through the night. I barely made it.
And you know I hate to complain. Or malinger.
But who stuck the plastic cocktail swords through my throat? And why?
It has probably been a decade since I have had an official cocktail with a plastic sword, but do they still give you those? With the orange and the cherry all folded up? Because that was delicious.
Not that I could eat it now, what with the SEARING PAIN inside my throat parts. And no, I don't have strep. Have you met me? Of course I checked my throat. I have already been down my throat with a mirror and Marvin's giant flashlight that he keeps next to the bed to beat burglars.
Last night I took some Robitussin, and what happened to Robitussin? It used to be so delicious. And cherry-y. They changed the flavor or something. It tasted kind of like watermelon, which is not a flavor I want to taste, ever, not even when I am eating watermelon. Am not really a fan of the watermelon.
Although one time my friend Karina and I went to an all-day yoga retreat and at the end they gave us watermelon chunks and somehow it was just the thing. But I think it had more to do with the part where I had sweated out my entire body weight and I looked like one of those California raisins at that juncture.
Anyway, I bought alcohol-free Robitussin, and perhaps that was my problem. Maybe they messed with the flavor. But what does taking the alcohol out have to do with taking the cherry flavor out?
Also, the box says it's a cough suppressant and a cough expectorant. How can it be both? Was my body duking it out all night? Bring it up! Keep it down!
I have to be careful about what I take, because you know how the rest of you can pop a, say, Benadryl or NyQuil, or God forbid a Contac (do they even make Contac anymore?) and go on with your day?
I take one of those, and in 10 minutes I have ripped off my clothes, painted florescent 7s all over my body, and begun slithering on my stomach through the neighborhood. And speaking Russian.
Oh, I used to like that commercial for Contac. Remember, they'd open up the capsule and all those pretty colors inside the pill would come out? Pink, orange, and white? Even thinking of it I start to feel like I'm at Woodstock, gyrating with my eyes closed. Where's my unsanitary pink blanket to wrap up in?
And my college housemates used to wonder why I didn't want to take mushrooms with them. I mean, just give me one shot of NyQuil and I would have wandered off for six months.
I am not good with the drugs, is what I am saying to you.
I did manage to proofread a lot yesterday, and my pets were content to stay on the couch with me.
I like how cats kind of always act like they have the flu. Sleeping and lying on the couch for 16 hours? We are down with that.
Tallulah literally laid on top of me for most of the day. I did not take photos of that, because that would have been impossible. But she is a good and faithful cur.
Every once in awhile there was the mild fisticuff, but mostly everyone let me work and doze.
It looks like more of the same today: work, Robitussin, ache, sleep. I have a big day ahead of me. I hope the animals are prepared.