Makin’ biscuits

My dog has a yeast infection in her ear. I KNOW she had a yeast infection in her paw a few months ago. You don't have to tell ME. Obviously when they were doing her DNA to test her breeds, they did not test to see if she was part Pillsbury Doughboy.

You know, I wondered why she liked to wear that fruity hat and bow tie and stand on two legs on the dinner table like that. And her annoying giggle! Hmm-HMMM!

The Pillsbury Doughboy. Do you think there's a fellow Mr. Doughboy at home, or do you think the 'boy heads out at night to the gay bar in the bakery district, Hot Cross Buns? Plays the field, takes advantage of his fame? Hangs out with the Keebler Elves and those Frosted Mini-Wheats guys and so forth?

Although I'm not necessarily getting my gaydar up for those Frosted Mini-Wheats guys that much. Maybe they are just open-minded and straight, yet hang at Hot Cross Buns to watch the Doughboy and his shenanigans. Hmm-HMMM!

What the hell was I talking about? Oh, my dog. Yeah. So she has this infection. Why is she getting yeast infections all the time in these odd places? I do not think she is being molested. What if one of the cats is an  odd-dog-places perv and I have been oblivious all these years?

YeastyHere I am this morning, attending to old Yeasty.

OMG, Yeasty! Remember my dream last week, when I dreamed (dreamt?) that Bethenny from Real Housewives named her baby Yeast? I was having a premonition! I am amazing.

Anyway, thanks, everyone for all your pregnancy craving stories. I find pregnancy cravings fascinating. Did you notice how more than one person craved pink lemonade? I have decided to make macaroni and cheese. Not from a box.

Some of you gave me recipes and then said, "It's easy. Even June could do this." And then you listed more than five ingredients or said scary things like "sprinkle toffee." Okay, here's what I know about toffee. When I was a kid, my grandparents had a crystal candy dish, and sometimes in there would be individually wrapped pieces of toffee. So how do you sprinkle those?

I imagine that grownup people have some sort of device in their kitchens that allows you to crush and then sprinkle toffee. Have you met me? Here are my kitchen devices:

  • a microwave
  • a fork

When you think of my kitchen, think of the kitchen of a 19-year-old boy. A 19-year-old straight boy, not the Pillsbury Doughboy's first kitchen.

Anyway, thanks again. I'm gonna go make toast out my dog's ear. Talk at ya.

P.S. Comment of the week goes to Lenette. Click This Week's Special on the right.

40 thoughts on “Makin’ biscuits

  1. Oh, poor Talu… I hate yeast infections. And? Your premonition? You are amazing. I am feeling honored that you are making Mac & Cheese (even if it is not from a box) because I was one of the people that mentioned it. Now I feel famous.

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  2. Do her ears stink? Because our Lucy’s ears are stinking, so I’m guessing it’s another ear infection and I will have to get her to the vet next week for more medicine. “Sigh”
    I tried to make it easy for you by suggesting Captain Crunch cereal. You could have just brought a box of that. But – if you want to get all June Cleaver (as opposed to June Gardens) and MAKE something, well…..
    Have fun!! πŸ˜€

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  3. That’s why I’ll always be the Unoriginal Paula-I could never come up with shit like that!!!! How does she do it time and time again???????????

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  4. That’s why I’ll always be the Unoriginal Paula-I could never come up with shit like that!!!! How does she do it time and time again???????????

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  5. That’s why I’ll always be the Unoriginal Paula-I could never come up with shit like that!!!! How does she do it time and time again???????????

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  6. Fudge Packer, Paula H&B, you are the best!
    June, toffee CHIPS. CHIPS. They sell them right next to the chocolate chips in the baking aisle. I think they’re called SKOR. And if your store doesn’t have them, crunch up some Heath Bars. I’m telling you, it is easy, easy,easy. And you’ll be dying over it’s scrumdiliciousness. I know that’s not spelled correctly, but I have no idea.
    Sorry about the yeast. But, I do have to say your brain looks very delicate in that picture.

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  7. BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Oh you weird lady you! You are too much fun!
    I used to use just plain ole vinegar for my dogs ear yeast infections. Just dip the corner of a soft rag in it and drip into ear…works everytime and is CHEAP. Like me. CHEAP.
    So, i’m off to go back in time and see what other strange stuff you come up with. I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me again.
    And……HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY tomorrow.

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  8. Paula H&B: THAT is why I miss you so much during the week. Sigh.
    June: It might be a food allergy. Buy some grain free food like Origins in an unusual flavor like fish that she doesn’t regularly get. That sort of chronic yeast infection is an allergy in like 20% of dogs…

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  9. Paula H&B: THAT is why I miss you so much during the week. Sigh.
    June: It might be a food allergy. Buy some grain free food like Origins in an unusual flavor like fish that she doesn’t regularly get. That sort of chronic yeast infection is an allergy in like 20% of dogs…

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  10. Paula H&B: THAT is why I miss you so much during the week. Sigh.
    June: It might be a food allergy. Buy some grain free food like Origins in an unusual flavor like fish that she doesn’t regularly get. That sort of chronic yeast infection is an allergy in like 20% of dogs…

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  11. Oh Paula H&B, I love you so! Right next to June of course.
    As far as the mini wheat guys if you watch their commercial there’s a part where they goosestep. I’m thinking that’s not much of a gay swagger. Now if we were talking crescent rolls.

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  12. Just ate Blue Bell’s Southern Blackberry Cobbler ice cream straight from the carton, some toast, 4 almonds, two bites of leftover chocolate cookie, a piece of cheddar cheese and a slice of tomato (with salt and pepper) for breakfast. That’s what I get for reading yesterday’s post first thing before getting out of bed. Thanks y’all. Not pregnant by the way but this pattern of eating COULD explain the size of my swimsuit.

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  13. Bowing down to Paula H&B! You never cease to crack me up.
    You could have taken Tums. Fancy Schmancy June with her microwave and fork wants to MAKE something HOMEMADE. Whatever.
    Mini Wheat Guys are straight. I am with Beth, Steve’s Wife, in that they are probably drag queens. What about Snap, Crackle and Pop? I think with names like that they are automatically gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And the Kool-Aid guy. I’m on the fence. He’s overly excited and happy. He’s either gay or on steroids.

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  14. When my SIL showed me how to make Mac-n-cheese from scratch, she said “first you have to make a roue.” Isn’t a roue a lecherous old man?
    My lab gets a lot of ear infections and we have to squeeze some medication into her ear and rub it in. She looks positively orgasmic as we do that.

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  15. June, Furry G. is right. Change Lula’s diet. I sent you dog food recipes last year. Shall I do it again?
    My husky the Princess Nikita Babushka used to get a fungus spot on her chin and it was a pain in the ass to treat because she would rub her face on the floor and rub the medicine all off. So she got a lampshade to wear. The schnauzer was always going around with a dingleberry stuck to his ass, so we called them “Fungus Face and little Shit-ass”.
    Affectionately, of course.

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  16. I agree with Jan – not sure what to make of those Snap, Crackle amd Pop guys – they disturb me.
    Our Leia (who is a lab as in retriever not as in labratory) used to have that ear infection thing for a long time. We changed her food, took her off anything with chicken as the protein and wheat and the ear thing cleared up. I was tired of trying to medicate her ears all the time. If you want a good food, she eats lamb and brown rice from a company called Blue.
    Also, too, your hair looks silkified. Must have been the awesome experience at the salon this week. Kuddos to the gay hairdresser!

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  17. What about the Hawaiian Punch dude. He sure puts the fruit in that colorful drink. I heard he and Dough Boy met at a convention many years ago and had a Brokeback Mountain-esque fling, but it ended badly with Hawaiian Punch dude going back to his girlfriend Lil’ Debbie. It was a different world back then.

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  18. OK…so our dog gets the ear infections, but I always just thought it was from her ears not drying out from swimming all the time. But it sounds like ya’ll all think these are yeast infections…so should I try to change her food, or are these two separate things? I am going to try the vinegar trick though – I love CHEAP!!!

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  19. OK…so our dog gets the ear infections, but I always just thought it was from her ears not drying out from swimming all the time. But it sounds like ya’ll all think these are yeast infections…so should I try to change her food, or are these two separate things? I am going to try the vinegar trick though – I love CHEAP!!!

    Like

  20. OK…so our dog gets the ear infections, but I always just thought it was from her ears not drying out from swimming all the time. But it sounds like ya’ll all think these are yeast infections…so should I try to change her food, or are these two separate things? I am going to try the vinegar trick though – I love CHEAP!!!

    Like

  21. Tiffaney who believes in Don't Ask, Don't tell when it comes to all types of sugar and yeast says:

    Oh, I’ve totally outed Punchy! That makes me the Michael Scott of the processed food industry.

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  22. Labs and dogs with hangy-down ears get ear infections all the time. It is chronic for some (mine, of course). My vet gave me a homemade ear-cleaner recipe but I forgot it – sorry. I think it involves hydrogen peroxide. I hope I have it written down somewhere. If we could clip their ears up in a barrette once in awhile, I think that would help.
    It definitely could be allergies to something in the food or in her environment. Our last dog suffered all her short life with these problems. We eliminated scented everything from our home and had her on Dick Van Patten’s special dog food (who knew he was a dog food entrepenuer in addition to acting and tennis and betting at the track???). These were not solutions. She was the costliest dog we ever had, vet-wise. Then she got cancer but that is another (sad) story.

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  23. June, you really were having a premonition! Bethenny’s bun is out of the oven.
    Baby girl Bryn Hoppy arrived nearly one month earlier than expected, but the reality mogul’s rep says all is well with the happy little family: “Bethenny and Jason are proud to welcome their new baby girl…born at 8 a.m. . . . in New York City. She is a 4 lb. 12 oz., healthy baby. Bryn, mom, dad and [their dog] Cookie are all very happy.”
    Aw, and Yeast was really starting to GROW on me.

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  24. i logged on to my google homepage today, and the first thing I saw was the word “yeasty.”
    it’s merriam-webster’s word of the day today.
    so, there’s that.

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