My dog has a yeast infection in her ear. I KNOW she had a yeast infection in her paw a few months ago. You don't have to tell ME. Obviously when they were doing her DNA to test her breeds, they did not test to see if she was part Pillsbury Doughboy.
You know, I wondered why she liked to wear that fruity hat and bow tie and stand on two legs on the dinner table like that. And her annoying giggle! Hmm-HMMM!
The Pillsbury Doughboy. Do you think there's a fellow Mr. Doughboy at home, or do you think the 'boy heads out at night to the gay bar in the bakery district, Hot Cross Buns? Plays the field, takes advantage of his fame? Hangs out with the Keebler Elves and those Frosted Mini-Wheats guys and so forth?
Although I'm not necessarily getting my gaydar up for those Frosted Mini-Wheats guys that much. Maybe they are just open-minded and straight, yet hang at Hot Cross Buns to watch the Doughboy and his shenanigans. Hmm-HMMM!
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, my dog. Yeah. So she has this infection. Why is she getting yeast infections all the time in these odd places? I do not think she is being molested. What if one of the cats is an odd-dog-places perv and I have been oblivious all these years?
OMG, Yeasty! Remember my dream last week, when I dreamed (dreamt?) that Bethenny from Real Housewives named her baby Yeast? I was having a premonition! I am amazing.
Anyway, thanks, everyone for all your pregnancy craving stories. I find pregnancy cravings fascinating. Did you notice how more than one person craved pink lemonade? I have decided to make macaroni and cheese. Not from a box.
Some of you gave me recipes and then said, "It's easy. Even June could do this." And then you listed more than five ingredients or said scary things like "sprinkle toffee." Okay, here's what I know about toffee. When I was a kid, my grandparents had a crystal candy dish, and sometimes in there would be individually wrapped pieces of toffee. So how do you sprinkle those?
I imagine that grownup people have some sort of device in their kitchens that allows you to crush and then sprinkle toffee. Have you met me? Here are my kitchen devices:
- a microwave
- a fork
When you think of my kitchen, think of the kitchen of a 19-year-old boy. A 19-year-old straight boy, not the Pillsbury Doughboy's first kitchen.
Anyway, thanks again. I'm gonna go make toast out my dog's ear. Talk at ya.
P.S. Comment of the week goes to Lenette. Click This Week's Special on the right.