Food and Drink · Health · I am berserk · June's stupid life

Ode to coffee

Hen

Some of us do not give a shite that it is my last day with coffee.

Tucked-In GirlWhen I woke up this morning, it was a normal day, except I knew. This was it.

Wholepot

The last day I would see my old friend, the Hamilton Beach Brew Station. With its gurgly, friendly self.

Pot

Look how filthy it looks with the flash shining on it. Ick. Anyway, here I am, pouring my last HALF CUP.

Halfcup

The world tilted drunkenly, thinking of me giving up my favorite beverage.

I have been trying to think of when I started having coffee. I know my mother forbade it when I was a kid, along with soap operas, so naturally I drank it all the time at my grandmother's house while we watched her soaps. Gramma always had a pot of coffee on, all day long. She drank hers with a big spoonful of Cremora, which let's face it, is delicious. And so good for you!

It was so cozy, drinking coffee with gramma. And watching Hope and Bo and Rick and Leslie or whomever.

By the time I was a teenager, I drank coffee every morning, and I have done so ever since. When I first married Marvin, he used to buy extra coffee and hide it, because the first morning I got up and saw we were out of coffee, he got scared of me. So he always had backup on hand.

I love coffee. I drink french roast, black. No Cremora for me. Last fall, we were at the fair, and inside the crafts building I saw this old lady with her Mr. Coffee coffeemaker, pouring the Cremora into her cup, and I missed my gramma so bad I couldn't breathe.

Anyway, this is it. My best friend has turned on me and my delicate brain.

Goodbye, old friend. I'll see you once a year. At those black tie functions.

60 thoughts on “Ode to coffee

  1. I feel your pain. I couldn’t imagine being without my cup of joe. I’d rather give up my red wine. My rug would prefer that too.

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  2. Jan what? What mug? oh, that? That's not coffee. It's brown water. Like brown rice. No, no coffee here. says:

    Cremora Tatas. Love that!

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  3. Jan what? What mug? oh, that? That's not coffee. It's brown water. Like brown rice. No, no coffee here. says:

    Cremora Tatas. Love that!

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  4. Jan what? What mug? oh, that? That's not coffee. It's brown water. Like brown rice. No, no coffee here. says:

    Cremora Tatas. Love that!

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  5. Good morning? June? Are you OK?
    Hopefully someone sees this today. A big shout out to Cosmo’s Dad for the Tadd Martin reference. For some reason that cracked me up.

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  6. I weep for your loss. I have suffered migraines in the past, had an emergency gallbladder removal, wore a boot for plantar fasciitis and three C-sections. And none of that was ever bad enough to consider giving up coffee had it been a reasonable remedy. So I can’t even imagine what your headaches must be like.

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  7. Can you still have coffee flavored THINGS, or would that prolong the agony/be a tease/is not allowed on your chicken+lettuce food regimen? Like coffee chip ice cream, OMG the goody goodness of that.

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  8. Can you still have coffee flavored THINGS, or would that prolong the agony/be a tease/is not allowed on your chicken+lettuce food regimen? Like coffee chip ice cream, OMG the goody goodness of that.

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  9. Can you still have coffee flavored THINGS, or would that prolong the agony/be a tease/is not allowed on your chicken+lettuce food regimen? Like coffee chip ice cream, OMG the goody goodness of that.

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  10. First of all, my condolences. I am not a coffee drinker, but I gave up my beloved Dr. Pepper two years ago. I still am in love, but it is full of heartbreak. Secondly, I totally watched Bo and Hope, PLUS ALSO Lesley and Rick!!

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  11. Yes, Sunday I turned dyslexically 35 again. or sometimes I think maybe that I am forty-thirteen. I was a math major once.

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  12. oh CARP…its yummy goodness…not it’s.
    You got me all flustered with your coffee drama.

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  13. Yes Furry, I second that good news. Whiskey in the morning…there’s nothing finer!
    June, I gave up coffee & all other good things that are ultimately bad for you when I was pregnant. Didn’t want a two headed, fifteen fingered idiot of a kid…you know? I remember when Mr. Munroe would come home from work & open a beer, he would immediately hand it to me so that I could sniff it’s yummy goodness. Oh how I loved to have a beer at the end of a long day.
    anyway…you’ll be fine. It won’t be so bad. I think I need a beer.

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  14. I don’t think I’m Ms. Cranky Mcbuttface without coffee. I just think when I don’t drink coffee everybody else in the world is super annoying.
    Funny thing is, the same thing happened when I quit smoking. I guess it’s true then… the world is out to get me.

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  15. Love love LOVE the picture of you and Lula in bed. For some reason when I hear of people who let their dogs sleep with them (we don’t), I always visualize a dog tucked at the foot of the bed all curled up, not sleeping on a pillow. Too cute.
    When I was in the hospital for too many days in February on heavy-duty antibiotics, my stomach was too upset to drink coffee. I kept complaining of headaches and one of the nurses finally suggested that they were from caffeine withdrawal. So I started drinking tea while I was there and the headaches went away. It took a few weeks after I got home before I could stomach coffee again (you’d think I’d have been smart enough to realize I had kicked an addiction, but NOOOOOO). Now I’m back to my daily java, as addicted as ever. I’m sorry you have to give it up. I hope you find a suitable substitute.

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  16. Jan ~ Rambling from nervousness over June's loss, never know what to say in these situtations says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I (almost) can’t drink my coffee out of respect.
    I also have a Hamilton Beach Brew Station. He’s a five cup and he’s my best little buddy.
    If, and it’s a big-hope-it-doesn’t-happen-but-what-if-it-does IF, your new doctor is wrong and you continue to have headaches are you jumping back on the coffee train as fast as you can? If the headaches stop are you going to do what I would do and assume it is the meds, not the not having coffee, and introduce it back into the morning routine? And then wait to see what happens? Because maybe the meds will be so terrific you could drink coffee all ding day dang long and never have a headache again!

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  17. Lindy, if we were to ever hang out (which, why?) I’ll wear mittens on my hands so I don’t chew my nails.
    My husband has asked me no less than three times, “So when you’re trimming your nails, does…” and I say, honey. I bite my nails. My nails haven’t been clipped since I was an infant.

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  18. I’ve been drinking coffee ever since I could drink out of a cup. It started as a half milk/half coffee combination and gradually became all coffee as I got older. Take it away from me now and I will more than likely sit in a corner cursing and throwing rocks at people while whittling down my finger nails to little bits. Which, by the way, is a habit I find disgusting.
    Good luck!

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  19. The word of the day seems to be Good Luch! You have my best wishes too and also. I am facing my addiction…food. Lost 15 lbs with only 3,289,884 more to go. I’m a’sceered of surgery so am trying it the basic back to reality way, D.I.E.T. Eck, ack, fooey!
    *lifting my fork full of lettuce* Here’s to you kid.

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  20. Oh June, you can do it! Just substitute the word headache for coffee every time you think of it… oooo I need a cup of headache,!!? Now go turf the headache station, or plant it in the garden and hopefully say bye bye headaches! Ps, Loved the part about your Gramma!

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  21. Man, I’m sure sorry. I don’t think I could live without my coffee. Coffee has magical powers where it turns me from a homicidal maniac with bed-head hair into Snow White singing to all the forest creatures, although still with the bed-head hair.
    I think ice cream would be a proper substitute.
    Want a dog to help you get over your sadness?
    I’ve got a few I’m ready to kick to the curb.

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  22. Target Steve, it’s nice to hear my sister isn’t the only mcbuttface out there without coffee.
    I think a funeral is a good idea. Then you would be in mourning and …I don’t know where I was going with that. But it would help to hide the beloved coffee maker.
    Good luch with that.

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  23. A melancholy Iron and Wine song was on my Pandora while I read your post, and I gotta say it fit. I got a little emotional, especially about your grandmother, and I don’t even drink coffee.
    It occurs to me that with your new chicken and lettuce plan, you’re perhaps heading in the direction of the original “Bye Bye, Pie” idea? (Not that you have to give up pie. Do you have you give up pie?) Interesting …

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  24. Whats in the Cat with the Fiddle tin? And you like that good crunchy bread, I can see the wrapper. How about a coffee ice cream smoothie, like your mom suggested. Can you still have coffee cake? I had birthday cake for breakfast today.

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  25. I think you need a new product in your line of wares. A coffee mug that says, “Bye Bye, Coffee!” from which you can drink your smoothie. Or would that just be too cruel?

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  26. A full gaynor into the Diet Pepsi. Heeeeee!
    June, I love you to death, but you also have some of the funniest commentors on the blogosphere.
    I’m with Fawn Amber…if I had to give up Diet Coke, I don’t think I could go on. But I know YOU can totally do it. Totally. Go June! I see your mother suggested a smoothie as a substitute for caffeine. I wonder if you can make it with coffee ice cream?

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  27. Good luck!!! Caffeine addiction is no less difficult to break than cigs and alcohol (both of which I sadly gave up). I’d probably be addicted to coffee too, but I can’t stand the taste…the smell though is incredible! As for my Diet Coke…they’d have to pry it from my dying hands! Again, good luck!

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  28. Wow. You have the same exact kitchen countertop I do.
    Or I have the same one you do. Whatever.

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  29. First I was afraid
    I was petrified
    Kept thinking I could never live
    without you by my side
    But I spent so many nights
    thinking how you did me wrong
    I grew strong
    I learned how to carry on……,
    You go June. I know you can do it. That doctor has a plan for you to get rid of your migraines. Let’s hope this is the first step in eliminating them for good. BTW, he has an M.D. after his name for a reason.

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  30. Junie. I’m so very sorry for your loss of Joe Java. I must say, that I went many years without coffee and it WILL be fine. It was hard to give up, but you WILL survive. (Trying to be positive here, kids!)
    And that picture of Lu? I want to squeeze her and kiss her nose! What a snuggle bug she is!

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  31. Gook luck today, June. I will be in and out all day. But when I am “in” I will be here checking in on you. Wishing you well!!
    Things could be worse. Like if one of your cats had gotten out early this morning. And then was crying mournfully at the door to be let in. And when you let him in he was carrying a “mostly dead” bird in his mouth. And then you had to scoop up cat and bird and put them outside. Only to find the whole damn nest on the ground. And the cat keeps torturing that poor little bird. Whilst crying incessantly at the front door. Like a freaky homicidal maniac trying to get in. Or maybe like a stalker cat who wants to show off his kill to the other fatter, lazier cats who slept in.
    This would be impossible to deal with without caffeine.

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  32. I know you’ll be able to get used to this. It will get better with time and won’t it be wonderful if you have fewer headaches? Have you thought of a substitute like a smoothie every morning? That could help. Good luch.

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  33. OK, you cannot post that you are waiting to die and then not post til eleven in the morning…Because while you are a hypochondriac, I am a hypochondriac by proxy and I was not going to rest easy until I saw that you had indeed survived the night!!!
    Ahem.
    I am sorry that you are going to have to say goodbye to coffee. I can compare it only to saying goodbye to Diet Coke, and if I had to do that I do not know how I would go on. My deepest sympathy.

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  34. The first week or so will suck, but just think of how much better you will feel though!

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  35. I’m telling you, this neurologist is full of s*@t. Drink the decaf, it’s the only humane thing to do.

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  36. Good luck, June. I continue to think that your wean from the bean is too precipitous, but you are a big, if somewhat small, girl and you can make your own decisions.
    And I’ll drink to that.

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  37. Don’t worry June. I’ll drink an extra cup of coffee in your name every morning. To tiny June and her delicate brain!

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