I am berserk · June's stupid life

Greetings from my lack of personality

Decaf June is here.

Maybe I'll have to become one of those people who puts "LOL" after everything they say so you know it was supposed to be funny. LOL.

I would like to find the person who invented LOL. And I would like to beat him or her about the head and shove toothpaste up his or her nose holes. Then you know what I would do? I would LOL.

Anyway.

I went to my yoga class yesterday, my free yoga, I would like to add, and it was yoga-riffic. See? See what happens when I have no caffeine? I start saying things like yoga-riffic. LOL.

Really, though, the whole class was dedicated to stretching one's back, and they had me do things to loosen up my neck and shoulders and it was unbelievable. I was hanging from the wall like a bug and lying with my neck curled back on a rolled-up yoga mat, and oh, you would not believe the things I did. Today my neck is 40 feet long.

I recognized the woman next to me and it was bugging me. I could not place her. Not that I was literally picking her up and trying to put her somewhere. Finally I asked her where I knew her from, and she said I looked familiar too, and anyway it turns out she works at dog day care. I had to tell her Tallulah was my dog and then she knew who I was.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. My friend Dottie loves it when I say that. Hey, Dottie! LOL!

I am trying to figure out what I hate more: LOL or when people say their kid is some age going on some age that is older. "Oh, she's three going on 19! LOL!" Do people think they are being original when they say this?

Decaf June is crabby June.

Speaking of crabby, my friend Jen, who is NOT crabby,  took a picture of Francis while she was here:

Fran

She was obsessed with Francis and his disturbed self. Fran did not know why anyone had to bother him, which is how I feel. Maybe Fran's entire issue is that he has no coffee.

I used a special photo developing process which gives us a glimpse into Francis's thoughts:

Murderfran
Do you wonder why I never pursued that art degree?

LOL.

Francis kind of has the expression Charles Manson has in that famous photo of him with the crazy eyes, doesn't he?

Charles franson

Oooo. Okay, this is creepy. FRANCIS JUST WALKED IN. He never walks in. He so brought his family with him to creepy-crawl my computer room.

Charles Franson.

Okay, so unless Francis cuts me to ribbons and writes the lyrics to Beatles songs on the wall in my blood, I will talk at you.

Oh, wait, before I go and get murdered, I am also getting my teeth whitened today at the hair salon. I know! Sounds safe. But for some reason they have teeth whitening and I thought it would be a good incentive, having nice, white coffee-free teeth.

You know what sounds good, though? Is some coffee.

LOL.

90 thoughts on “Greetings from my lack of personality

  1. Guilty of LOL!! And also excessive use of !!!
    However, I can’t stand when people use {{{hugs}}}. Is that not the gay-est thing?

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  2. Thanks for that. Now my friends and I who chat every day can no longer type LOL — instead we type – “I would type LOL but June has me self-conscious about it”. Sigh
    Oh and also? My son, who is 13 (which right there will explain what I am about to type) SAYS, LOL (pronounced lel).

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  3. Oh, I am laughing so hard.( I don’t do LOL)
    Don’t know how I found you, but you are hilarious.
    I’m here to stay…

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  4. Well…my youngest is in a phase where her main mode of communication is texting. She will talk verbally and can do so very well. She just prefers texting. So I had to make a choice. Will I or will I not engage her on the level she is at or demand to have it my way.
    So, yep, I text with her. A lot. Even in the same room.
    I think every generation has their “thing” they prefer and it’s the choice of the generation before to stay connected or not.
    My mom puts reading my blog and emailing me to the bottom of her list. Guess who would learn more about me if she would occasionally choose to related to me on my comfort zone?

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  5. Chick-fil-A employees always give you a “it’s my pleasure”. Well, except our local Chick-fil-A had an employee that greeted us with “yo”. We shared that with the manager and that young man is now a former employee.
    June, maybe you should have tapered off on the coffee a bit slower stretching it out for a week or so. You have almost gone cold turkey.

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  6. I just saw a Hyundai commercial that uses that Sound of Music song in it, and I got all riled up on BBP Commenters’ behalf, only I can’t remember now if the consensus was that we hate it or not.. I think it was that everyone hates the phrase, but it was a tie score on the song itself. I had never seen that commercial nor thought of that song in years, and then it pops up on my tv the day we talk about it.
    And then of course I had to come on here and tell everyone..

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  7. Back to Friends, when Chandler had his…wenis report… and he had to hank out his wenis each week.

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  8. Target Steve you made me sol (snort out loud).
    I hate when people use acronyms in business. “Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon”
    I used to work for a company where we would just make up acronyms and see if anyone would catch on. Sadly they rarely did. It made us lol and loao.

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  9. Katie,
    In Spanish you can also say “fue un placer” or “para servirle” which is very common. The first is “it was a pleasure” and the second means “I am here to serve you”
    I completely agree that you are welcome or It was my pleasure feels a lot better to say and to receive than no problem.
    I have never used lol or LOL. It irritates me. But I use wtf all the time.
    24/7 is one of my pet peeves. I truly hate that little turn of phrase.

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  10. You know what I hate? Is what I hate is when people say 24/7 and it sounds like “twentyfourseven”.
    June thinks of coffee 24/7. LOL.
    And by the way, I’m 38 going on 16.

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  11. Joann, aw! Yeah, my generation has totally gotten away from that. I do know that Chick-Fil-A trains its employees to say “my pleasure” instead of “you’re welcome” because they are teaching it is a pleasure to serve others.

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  12. Terra & Carla… I wonder if it’s like when you translate things to another language and back to English and they get all screwed up because in French and Spanish, the “you’re welcome” equivalent is more like “it’s nothing,” which I don’t really like, cause sometimes it isn’t nothing, it’s something, and you shouldn’t have to verbally shrug off a thank you. I just have to learn more French and Spanish to figure out how to say something more like “it’s my pleasure.”
    Also, Steven Wright went to my alma mater. Which is actually kind of a big deal because no one went to Emerson. The only really famous people from my school are comedians: Dennis Leary, Jay Leno, the Fonz… Oh, and Bobbi Brown (makeup Bobbi Brown, not Whitney-beating, crackhead Bobby Brown, who incidentally is also from the Boston area, but I get the feeling he did not go to college..)
    I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

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  13. Terra, I do so love the phrase, “It’s my pleasure.” It speaks of gentility.
    I always like to carry my own groceries to the car because I’m always looking to burn a few extra calories and I hate making awkward conversation with teenaged boys. The other day I had an older gentleman bagging my groceries. He asked me if he could help me out with them. I politely declined and then he said, “It would be my pleasure.” And I just melted. And we walked to the car together and had a lovely conversation because he was of the generation that knows how to do exactly that.

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  14. I never thought about it that way, FG! Thanks for enlightening me! I have a worse habit than saying no problem, though. When people say thank you to me, I usually just say “uh huh.” Or, at work I say, “Thank YOU!”

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  15. I always take “no problem” to mean, “it was no trouble for me to do that for you”. Does “you’re welcome” make any more sense? You are welcome to what? I know it’s more formal, and I continue to use it and will insist that my kids do too, but I don’t see a problem with “no problem”.
    I never use shortcuts in my texts. I even punctuate correctly. As much as possible. I wouldn’t let an actual proofreader verify that statement.

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  16. Carla, on Planet Terra “no problem” does not mean “you’re welcome.” We say “you’re welcome” or “it’s my pleasure” because no problem is a no-brainer. That’s why I told my students that when they talk to each other, they can use the expression; when they talk to my customers or me, they have to use actual adult wording.
    I know that this will only get worse before it gets better, or else we will be seeing the next generation of mortgage bankers wearing flip flops to work and sporting multiple piercings.
    God, I need a cup of coffee. a big expresso.

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  17. Am I the only person who pronounces ROFL raw-full in my head as I read? The first time I got an email with TTYL in it, I had to ask the sender what it meant, as the only thing I could think of was ta ta you loser. And KWIM…that had me baffled forever.
    I don’t text so really have no need to shorten things, but I do love me some emoticons. 😉

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  18. I love WTF. But I was confused about FTW forEVER. I seriously thought it meant f**k the what. And I was like, what? Finally I asked someone who used it all the time. FML is pretty great. Especially if you don’t want to say the actual words. I hate little teeny boppers who do the whole exxxtra letterrrs onn eevvery worrrd though. That drives me crazy. My 15 year old cousin does that.
    What’s wrong with no problem??

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  19. I admit, I am a habitual ha-ha’er. Never been a fan of LOL, though.
    Terra – my dad was so PO’ed the other day when some server at a restaurant told him “no problem.” My 67 year old dad doesn’t understand that no problem = you’re welcome in the modern lexicon. Irritated him to no end.

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  20. I’m with Kelly, and it may be just because I was in middle school/high school when texting became popular. It is soooo convenient. (see what I did with the extra o? I’m showing my age, oh crap)
    I’m really awkward on the phone, mostly with goodbyes. I never know how to end a conversation, and I hate calling someone up to tell them “we’re here” and then awkwardly say “okay, well. bye.” Texting is a lifesaver for the awkward goodbye-sayers.

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  21. Oh Junie, you do make me LOL!! You take every day things and make them funny everyday. Of course, you’ve been doing that since I met you in the 80’s. I have to go lay down now cuz I’ve been laughing so hard. Oh, and please update us on your lab’s yeasty ear. THX!

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  22. If Franson had her/his own blog… his next post would be titled “FML”

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  23. Try FTLOTMOG (For the Love of the Mother of God). A friend and I came up with it when we were comparing the blasphemies used by our respective parents when we committed childhood atrocities.

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  24. Today’s conversation is too funny. I’m an accountant and I have clients email me in “text speak” for questions or want me to text them payroll numbers, etc. Sorry, no, I will not be texting you net check amounts thank you very much.
    With phones having full keyboards now I don’t get why it’s so hard to write something correctly either by text, Facebook or whatever. I do, however, use FTW all the time. Sorry Ashley.

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  25. I love WTF…in fact I’ll SAY the initials WTF instead of the actual words in real live vocal conversation. Because I’m a douche like that.
    I also put a smiley after everything. 🙂
    BUT… what I HATE… is FTW. It took me years to figure out what it really means. I used to assume it meant “f*ck the world” or “f*ck the what” – the latter making no sense at all. And thinking it meant one or both of those phrases, I never understood it when it was used in context… because it normally followed something positive, like: “I love American Idol! Simon Cowell FTW!”
    As it turns out, it means “FOR THE WIN.” Google it.
    🙂

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  26. Terra, I agree, what possibly can be so earth shattering. And the looks on their faces are so intense, clickety click click.

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  27. I totally don’t get texting. Who would have thought that these kids would be so disconnected that they would type each other badly constructed sentences instead of calling each other on the phone?
    And my personal pet peeve is “No problem.” I told my students that they could say it to each other but not to my customers…’cause there is no way that my customers could ever be a problem. It is this generation’s “Have a nice day.”
    BRB
    Oh, and I have a new coffee pot which has elevated my enjoyment of coffee to new, previously unreachable heights.

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  28. People, I’m dying here. No one here is expected to burst out in fits of giggles while *seemingly* hard at work. I’m going be turning all Franson. LOL – Lump ‘O Lard? That would be me.

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  29. Deanna cracked me up.
    I have been facebook stalking a person and I don’t normally do the stalk but it’s a long story and there is a good reason but I digress. She always spells things with z. Like boyz, noize, toyz. She also says things about being a “wifey”. But all of it is always typed lIkE tHiS. WhIcH wEaRs Me OuT jUsT tYpInG iT hErE.

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  30. It’s a good thing June is going to the hair sa1on today. With all of us tormenting her with the LOLing and the other IMing and texting slang, the salon won’t know what to do first. Dye the hair that has suddenly turned gray, or try to reattach the hair that has been violently ripped from her head.

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  31. Last night I saw a Facebook comment from my husband to a friend. He used LOL. Twice! He is 42 for goodness sake. No 42 year old man has any business using LOL. I see him in a new light today, the last 20 years have been a lie.

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  32. I hate LOL. I do tell people BRB (be right back) in actual person to person conversation. Somebody shoot me.

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  33. OMG you made me LOL with that picture of Fran’s thoughts. And, also, too, I’ve never heard of teeth whitening at a salon. I’m from backwoods Pennsylvania, though, so that could be why. TTYL.

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  34. Jill Munroe who has been known to enjoy yoga & pilates but could do without the whole tree hugger, let your arms kiss the sky commentary that goes along with it. says:

    Never LOL’d or OMG’d but I have been known to use FO or FU. Those are my personal favorites.
    And June…is Francis choking you while you dance in his thought bubble? Your skills amaze me.

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  35. Jill Munroe who has been known to enjoy yoga & pilates but could do without the whole tree hugger, let your arms kiss the sky commentary that goes along with it. says:

    Never LOL’d or OMG’d but I have been known to use FO or FU. Those are my personal favorites.
    And June…is Francis choking you while you dance in his thought bubble? Your skills amaze me.

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  36. Jill Munroe who has been known to enjoy yoga & pilates but could do without the whole tree hugger, let your arms kiss the sky commentary that goes along with it. says:

    Never LOL’d or OMG’d but I have been known to use FO or FU. Those are my personal favorites.
    And June…is Francis choking you while you dance in his thought bubble? Your skills amaze me.

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  37. Hulk (Who knew a guy who worked at the factory that makes fire hydrants. He said it was a great job, but you couldn't park anywhere NEAR the place...) says:

    I can’t stand no caps, bad spelling and unanswered questions about preposition placement in sentences!!!
    LOL

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  38. Hulk (Who knew a guy who worked at the factory that makes fire hydrants. He said it was a great job, but you couldn't park anywhere NEAR the place...) says:

    I can’t stand no caps, bad spelling and unanswered questions about preposition placement in sentences!!!
    LOL

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  39. Hulk (Who knew a guy who worked at the factory that makes fire hydrants. He said it was a great job, but you couldn't park anywhere NEAR the place...) says:

    I can’t stand no caps, bad spelling and unanswered questions about preposition placement in sentences!!!
    LOL

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  40. do you know what i hate even more… that song that goes “i am 16 going on 17, you are 17 going on 18″… i cannot remember right now what the actual, ya know, TITLE of the song is, I just assume that b/c I can hear the tune in my head you can too. that’s how it works, right?
    anywho, that song has been stuck in my head for weeks, and I don’t know why and it is driving me nuts… like I don’t know that 17 comes after 16?
    I mean, my 4 year old actually DOESN’T know that 17 coems after 16 b/c when she counts to 20 she gets lost somewhere around 13 and then starts making up pretend numbers like twelve-teen.
    she’s smart that one! she’s, like, 4 going on 20.
    LOL.

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  41. He also had a friend who was a midget dwarf. He was this big. He was the guy who posed for trophies…

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  42. OMG, I hate the lol. I’ve made my husband hate the lol. If you actually lolled, go ahead. Lol. Messaging me is fun. After every lol or “haha”, I typed to the person saying it, did you really laugh? I make everyone very comfortable in my presence.
    Oh, and when I was in high school I pronounced it “lawl” and everyone looked at me like I was crazy and said it was spelled out “l-o-l” when you say it. Who’s crazy now?
    Did you really laugh? I do enjoy loti, which is laughing on the inside.

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  43. The one that really gets me is the kids (mostly teen girls…you know, 15 going on whatever) who do all the extra letters….
    “omg, goingggg tooo schoolll nowww..jkkkk. idkk. lol hahahahahaha”
    Why?
    Just….why?

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  44. Next week I will be 564 months old. Ha ha, lol.

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  45. It looked to me like Francis was smacking the crap out of a another kitty (Henry, perhaps?), then lighting a bomb and everyone dies. Why I am reading Francis’s thoughts from right to left, I have no idea.
    Joann, my oldest daughter (18) writes haha after every text and every FB post. If her comments on FB are her and another friend talking back and forth, it’s all “I know, right? haha” and “Yeah sista, haha.” I love the kid, but I might have to kill her just on principle. The haha principle.
    I need some Diet Coke.

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  46. I hate it when you ask someone how old their child is and they say, “36 months”. Gets on my ever-lovin’ last nerve! Just say they are 3 and get over yourself.

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  47. Charles Franson. Dying.
    Isn’t ‘Ol Charlie still alive, D-Lou? I think he is.
    In the wonderful illustration, is Charles Franson using a bomb to kill another kitty (Henry?) and you? It appears to be a kitty and a person, who may or may not be gyrating about, dancing (kind of), if you will. Fascniated by Francis and his family.

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  48. I hate LOL. And all the kids, say, “Ha-Ha” constantly. What is that? And I really hate, ROFLMAO. It sounds like you’re vomiting. People will leave that on my blog and I just want to smack them and say what I used to tell my toddlers, “Use your words!”
    When my husband first met me, he thought I was a total psycho because I was sitting at this table with a bunch of folks who were all talking and I was engrossed in this huge book that turned out to be, “Helter Skelter.” I can’t help it. Killers fascinate me. And that picture of Charles Manson has always freaked me the freak out.
    That Francis though, looks nothing like a deranged killer. He’s too cutie pie for that. Although, Ted Bundy was pretty handsome. And Francis does have the crazy eye.

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  49. Hulk (Who used to think LOL stood for "Lots Of Love" and couldn't figure out why people always typed it after jokes...) says:

    You were cranky WITH coffee. What’s the big dif?
    You are June Franson.
    LOL

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  50. I am guilty. I am a LOLer. I cannot help it. I usually am literally LOLing when I say it though. I LOL all of the time. LOLOLOL.
    Sorry. I am cranky too. I had a protein shake instead of coffee for the fourth day in a row.
    I also say my kid is 16 going on 30. Perhaps I should just excuse myself now before Francis turns the Manson Lamps on me.
    Sigh.

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  51. Charles Franson LOVE.IT.
    Charles reincarnated in Fran. Watch your back Junie.

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  52. roflmao
    just to not be repetitive. you are a little cranky. like 37 going on 90.
    I haven’t had coffee for maybe 9 years but that’s because I just suddenly didn’t like it any more. Just like when I was pregnant. I buy atrociously expensive stuff for the family because the smell of most beans alone will make me gag. This one usually doesn’t. But sometimes it does. Maybe hypnotism will help. Or why haven’t they come up with a pill you can take so that coffee will make you sick like that alcohol one does. Maybe buy some of the stop biting your nails stuff and put it on your nails and lick it every time you think of having coffee. Or buy a shock collar or something.

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  53. The uncaffeinated, don’t think that’s a word, June is still as funny as ever. You’re just a little Helter Skeltered.
    Question? Does your dentist give perms?

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