Jumping through hoops

Leapy

Jumpylu

Done

Who is my little circus performer? Is it Lu? And how do I fix that stupid grass? It is so shady back there that it doesn't grow. Plus Tallulah runs after vermin on it all day.

Yesterday she went tearing through the yard and about 14 bunnies went running every which way. If she had caught one I never would have gotten over the trauma. I would have stuffed was remained of it and made a little bunny shrine.

So, yesterday, I piled on as much makeup as possible and headed over to the aesthetician's salon so she could check me out. I figured she'd expect me to be well-groomed.

Made up

Here I am, without lipstick yet. But let's discuss my brows. I think they have gotten ruined by years of waxing. Back in LA there was an eyebrow boot camp I could have gone to. Yes, there was. It's times like this I miss LA. And coffee.

Anyway, I went there and oh, Mother of God, do I want to work there. The salon is in a beautiful building, and it's full of MAKEUP in there and SKIN CARE PRODUCTS and all sorts of PROCEDURE machines and I was beside myself. And beside my brows. You know she must have been studying those brows. I would have been. It's like they're broken right in the middle. What has HAPPENED? They used to be nice.

The point is, the aesthetician had on not a stitch of makeup. Not a stitch. And she looked great. She does not have one wrinkle and I know she's my age. Don't you hate people like that?

In other news, I am going to The Nester's today. She is having some sort of thing. Do you read The Nester? She tells you how to decorate your house for cheap and yet still have your house look really elegant. The only thing is, you have to be good with your hands, and have you met my hands? She is forever saying things she tells you to do are easy, and I know if I tried them it would look like a parakeet made that, say, window mistreatment.

The good news is, she likes me anyway and I am going to her house today. Yay. She probably likes me because I have wrinkles.

Comment of the week goes to Duffylou. Click on This Week's Special.

31 thoughts on “Jumping through hoops

  1. Just a heads up. You are on the right track to avoid the bird provided/produced window mistreatment. I have that on a couple of my windows. It’s not the look you are going for. And also? Yesterday I wore a flannel shirt – nothing like that teensy bit of a top that I couldn’t wear anyway, because – so not tiny, and absolutely missing the delicate brain.

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  2. I ENVY your eyebrows. I have to, shall we say, enhance, mine. Thin and blond. OH, there’s a fetching look for you. Perpetual surprise.
    Nester makes me feel clumsy and gives me hives. But HEY! Have a good time! (I still read her, but I follow it with a long tortured sigh. Because I am inept.)
    I hope you get that job too, and of course you will, because she liked your cover letter best and it is a personality-based position. And you have that cool class ring.

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  3. I ENVY your eyebrows. I have to, shall we say, enhance, mine. Thin and blond. OH, there’s a fetching look for you. Perpetual surprise.
    Nester makes me feel clumsy and gives me hives. But HEY! Have a good time! (I still read her, but I follow it with a long tortured sigh. Because I am inept.)
    I hope you get that job too, and of course you will, because she liked your cover letter best and it is a personality-based position. And you have that cool class ring.

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  4. I ENVY your eyebrows. I have to, shall we say, enhance, mine. Thin and blond. OH, there’s a fetching look for you. Perpetual surprise.
    Nester makes me feel clumsy and gives me hives. But HEY! Have a good time! (I still read her, but I follow it with a long tortured sigh. Because I am inept.)
    I hope you get that job too, and of course you will, because she liked your cover letter best and it is a personality-based position. And you have that cool class ring.

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  5. I hope you get the job. I hate people who wear no makeup and look great. I want to cut them with a knife. Get yourself some eyebrow powder. More natural than the pencil. I have to apply every day even when I am doing the “natural” look. My eyebrows are blond, thin and stopped growing in a few spots. Pretty.
    I read Nester. And then I weep. Because a. I will never, ever, even with her here doing it for me, ever be able to decorate the way she does; b. I can’t just paint. Just decide on a whim to up and paint that day. I would hyperventilate.
    Did you mention your lenient rules at the interview?

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  6. June, you are living the life of a trophy wife now! I wish my salon had a greeter with your personality. Instead, they whisper and tell me to turn off my cell phone every single time I check in.

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  7. Are you on the way over there to help her re-hang her dog silhouette? I have no idea how tall you are, or even how tall The Nester is, but in my imagination you are not the least bit vertically challenged. Which I suppose doesn’t go along very well with being tiny OR delicate, both of which you also are in my imagination. June, meet imaginary June. She’s made of yeast. Please don’t stick her in your dog’s ear.

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  8. I really hope you get that fab job. I would kill to work in a place like that. Alright not kill maim maybe? You have great skin. I used to have good skin too. Sometime last fall something went wonky and now my face looks like a teenage boys going through puberty. Pretty. Damn freaking hormones.
    Talu is such a carny sensation! You can take your act on the road if this esthetician gig doesn’t pan out. Your doggie can support you in the style you should be accustomed to living.
    Also too, thank you for this week’s special.

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  9. Also? There is grass seed specifically for shaded areas. Our whole backyard is shaded and it looked just like your yard. Two or three years ago we got the shade grass seed and now the grass has filled in and is think and nice.

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  10. I adore those action pics of Lu! That first one is so adorable with her cute, little, round rear end!
    And I love how her tail is in a totally different position in every shot, there! SO cute! I hope she knows how much her Auntie in MA loves her!
    And, OOOOOOOO I’m so excited for you to work at the fancy skin-care place! I feel the pain of the lacking in eyebrowage. Mine have always been blond and thinnish. It’s a crying shame.

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  11. I think you look great, and no-makeup lady would be crazy not to hire you.
    I also have unfortunate eyebrows. They were pretty until I had chicken pox at 26. Yes, 26. I wanted to die.
    I bought a hoop because I was sure my dogs would be great at agility training. They won’t go near it. I can’t imagine what horrible things they think that hoop can do.

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  12. Junie, since you’re our beauty guru, I have a question. Did you like that super keratin hair treatment you did last summer? I’m starting a new job June 1 (YAY ME! 20 months of unemployment FINALLY bites the dust!) and really need something to combat my frizz and shorten my drying time. My chi-chi stylist highly recommends the salon-grade version, but until I get a few more pesos in the ol’ account, I thought I’d give the version they sell at Ulta a shot. Thanks for the advice!

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  13. Congrats on the job, Tiffaney! And congrats on the almost job, Junie!
    Does your new place do laser? Because I LOVE the laser. Several years ago my esthetician removed a VERY deep scar on my cheek that I got from putting my face through a car windshield in my early twenties. Can barely see it now. I keep wondering if I got the procedure on my whole face how youthful I would feel. And I’m feeling pretty hot after a couple of college kids I know told me they were surprised to find out I was 48. They weren’t sure I was out of my thirties yet! LOVE them, too!
    If you get it, you can work the Wednesdays and think of all the stuff you can have done!

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  14. Congrats on the job, Tiffaney! And congrats on the almost job, Junie!
    Does your new place do laser? Because I LOVE the laser. Several years ago my esthetician removed a VERY deep scar on my cheek that I got from putting my face through a car windshield in my early twenties. Can barely see it now. I keep wondering if I got the procedure on my whole face how youthful I would feel. And I’m feeling pretty hot after a couple of college kids I know told me they were surprised to find out I was 48. They weren’t sure I was out of my thirties yet! LOVE them, too!
    If you get it, you can work the Wednesdays and think of all the stuff you can have done!

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  15. Congrats on the job, Tiffaney! And congrats on the almost job, Junie!
    Does your new place do laser? Because I LOVE the laser. Several years ago my esthetician removed a VERY deep scar on my cheek that I got from putting my face through a car windshield in my early twenties. Can barely see it now. I keep wondering if I got the procedure on my whole face how youthful I would feel. And I’m feeling pretty hot after a couple of college kids I know told me they were surprised to find out I was 48. They weren’t sure I was out of my thirties yet! LOVE them, too!
    If you get it, you can work the Wednesdays and think of all the stuff you can have done!

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  16. Would love to hear more suggestions about the lawn. I have the same shade problem. Tried the seed for shade. Didn’t work–at least not for more than a few months. Last year I put in a big swath of sod. Only about 1/2 made it through the winter. It does matter, I’m sure, that I also have a dog who runs around in that area. I also called MSU Extension Services who are experts on this stuff. They said if you can’t get enough sun, nothing will last more than 2-3 years. Sunnier parts of yard are fine.

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  17. Furry,
    My sister is an attorney in Chicago. She defends doctors in malpractice suits. Suffice to say, she has a lot of doctor friends. One of her doctor friends gave her a facial laser treatment for her birthday. I am so jealous. She’s a year younger than me, but now she looks 10 years younger. And she, too, wears no makeup.
    I need a doctor friend like that.
    June, I hope you get the job. It would be like a great big candy store for me, too.
    And I think it’s a blonde girl thing. I too have to enhance my eyebrows and I do think it’s from the damage of all those years of waxing. The upside to that is, I’m not all hairy anywhere else, either. I’ll never have to worry about all that laser hair removal stuff. I just want it on my face.

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  18. Thanks, June (and Furry)! I’m facing an Orange County, CA commute, so anything that will cut down on dryer time will be worth its weight in gold.
    And I am SO getting the laser treatment based on Furry & Joann’s recommendation!

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  19. Please tell us if The Nester’s olive office looks as good in person. I am thinking of doing that in my office now. Also, please straighten her lab picture. I would do it myself but I don’t know where she lives and the whole distance thing gets in the way. I hope you guys have a great time.

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  20. I really wanted to straighten that picture, but to do so would have required me to stand on the couch, which I did not think she would appreciate. As it was, I ate 3935t8293539ffnvjetj of her cookies, which were meant for, you know, EVERYONE, not just me. Makin friends. Anyway, yes, her office is stunning. Her whole house is like a magazine. Makes you feel like an old dusty turd walking in there.

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  21. June, you are my hero! You say (type) what most of us are thinking but don’t have the nerve to say or the skills to string those words together in such a fabulous manner. Love it!
    dusty old turd, indeed!

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  22. I was so surprised at how LITTLE Lula looks in the hoop pictures. Because so many of the pictures of her are closeups, I had her visualized as a Labrador-sized dog, and she’s not. She’s a medium-sized dog. Congratulations on training her to jump thru hoops.
    Now I have to go to Nester’s blog and see the crooked picture and the olive room.

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  23. That is what my friend Paula said when she came to town, Linda. She thought Lu would be Lab-sized. Nope. She is 20 inches tall and weighs about 47 pounds. I always wanted a big dog, but now I am glad this is as big as she got, considering I have no control over her.

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  24. Here’s a book for you: Jerry Baker’s Green Grass Magic. You can mix it all up from your kitchen. It involves beer, ammonia, and who knows what else. He has tons of recipes and you spray them on your yard. No chemicals.

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