Elegance is learned, but crazy comes naturally

Nice

Henry is the type of cat who begins purring the second you pet him. I scored with Henry, and I am lucky, considering I picked him based on the part where I just kind of wanted an orange kitten.

Lookout

Also, he's an excellent watch cat.

Anyway, I have much to do today so I will be brief. Have I ever told you about how my mother-in-law used to work for a clothing manufacturer, and she worked in the men's underwear division, and I was obsessed? When I'd call her at work, her voice mail would say, "You have reached Marvin's mom in Men's Underwear."

Okay, that was hilarious enough. Then I ALWAYS had to say, "Hi, I'll be brief." Oh. Loved me. So bad.

Getting out of Marvin's mom's men's underwear, DO NOT FORGET that this Sunday is book club! Seven p.m. my time. I live on East Coast time. If that gets you all confused, just Google "What time is it in Greensboro?" and then you can figure out our time change.

We read A Reliable Wife, and was that a good book or what? Cannot wait to discuss. I would like to shout out to Marvin's coworker, Ms. W, who loaned me the book. Thank you Ms. W!

And finally, for those of you who watch the Real Housewives–not that I do because I am so lofty and intellectual–wow. What is wrong with Kelly? Not that I would know anything is wrong with her, because I was over here reading Proust. And jotting down some haiku. Is she on something? Did her synapses just collapse? Can your synapses collapse? I should know but Proust didn't mention it.

Okay, off to proofread something in .05-point type. Am certain I will not get a giant headache or anything.

46 thoughts on “Elegance is learned, but crazy comes naturally

  1. This is the first time I read the book for book club and I loved it! Hopefully, I will remember to tune in on Sunday. I watched the entire last season of Survivor, then completely forgot the finale was last Sunday! Duh! My homework for tonight is to leaves post it notes all over the house reminding myself to go to book club.
    Love, love the photo of your dual lookouts. No one is gonna’ sneak up on you.

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  2. Kelly has completely lost it. She’s a doodlebrain. And I’m with Furry, up there, Kelly has the emotional stability of a 12 year-old and I think you’re being KIND, Furry! I’d have said about a 3 year old with her crazy-ass tantrums and eye-rolling and screaming “Nobody cares about you, Bethenny!”
    Kelly is OBsessed with everything Bethenny says and does. Ob-SESSED!
    Junie, please tell me your adoration of Krazy Kelly is over. PLEEAAAASE!

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  3. That Kelly, cukoo for cocoa puffs is right. At first I thought maybe she had some bugs in her hair after she was pulling on it, and we all thought Ramona had googly eyes…. but Kelly’s started rolling up into her vacant cranium…it was painful. I like that Sonja.

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  4. Kelly seemed like she was having a manic episode to me. I mean, if all the other cast members of that show think you’re unstable you should start seriously searching for a good psychiatrist.
    I also thought I’d hate Sonja but I really like her. Sometimes she’s unintentionally funny (like when she tries to act casual and pretend like she’s not posing or pushing out her lips for the camera) but she also seems like a really nice person.
    It’s not like I watch that show or anything, though.

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  5. What a crazy coincidence. My book club read the same exact book this month! Our meeting is tonight and I’m anxious to see what people say about it. I want to see what your book club thought too. I read The Help because you recommended it and I really, really liked it a lot.

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  6. All I’m going to say is, I TOLD YOU! Just like Furry, I knew she was a looney tune. Even last year, nothing she said had any bit of reasoning to it or made sense at all. There is no WAY that doofus dinglebat when to Columbia.
    It was absolutely delicious last night watching the crazy.
    Yeah, I like Sonja, too and I am coveting her pink, ruffled shirt.
    Someone really needs to give Jill a good, f***ck off. I know sweet Alex tried to do it with her, you’re a mean girl speech, but someone needs to knock her off her self-absorbed, hypocritical, seething in jealously, throne.
    And Cosmo’s Dad, how about Ramona walking in that fashion show with her googlies ready to burst out of their sockets? Oh, I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard.

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  7. Sadly enough, I was RIVETED by the events on RHoNY last night and hoped that June would post about it. What a whack-a-doodle! Apparently, Kelly left her meds in NYC.

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  8. I do not watch RHoNY, not because I’m too lofty but because I have NO TV right now. Who moves their giant big screen T.V. and forgets to pack the standy-thingy that holds the ding dang thing up? Me that’s who! Oh and another thing it takes 2 weeks to get the one that fits my TV and it cost like a bazillion bucks. Who is kicking themselves in the ass for saying “I don’t know what this thing does, hum guess I’ll throw it out!”. (banging head on wall while chanting, stooopid, stooopid, stooopid!)

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  9. Tiffaney who must have sensed last night's RHONY was gonna be good b/c she hasn't watched in 2 seasons says:

    Kidding aside, Blogland is abuzz this morning armchair-diagnosing Kelly’s suspected meth habit: lots of “timeouts” (to hit the pipe), sugar cravings, ramblings,(“my friend Gwyneth”), paranoia, refusal to sleep, etc. SAD SAD SAD to watch someone melt down on national TV. I’ve said it before, Andy Cohen is an evil genius, but I wouldn’t want that karma on my head.

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  10. And poor Alex, posing on the beach, are her teeth that bad that she cannot smile?
    Please June you are the queen of all words…How much do you detest Jill?
    Yeah…Al Sharpton….maybe Jack Nicholson… LOL

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  11. Kelly has always been a phony. On one episode the first year she was on they featured her riding a horse in a jumping show. She fell off on camera, (snicker), by losing her balance and like humpty dumpty just fell right off the side of the horse. When they interviewed her later she said it wasn’t her regular horse it was switched last minute. He was acting up and it threw her. Um, ya threw her into her own embarrassment.

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  12. The only time I ever watched this nonsense with Furry was this week. Seriously, they need to put Kelly out to sea on an ice floe.
    Oh, and I would agree that the book club is batting 1.000. I am genuinely sorry that I have not had time to finish this one. Maybe over the weekend. Is there a Cliff Notes version?

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  13. Is it just me, or does it look like Henry is staring out at the neighborhood while Talu is staring at Henry?
    I can picture so many different yet equally funny scenarios stemming from this scene.

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  14. Jill Munroe who wonders if Kelly lives next to some high voltage power lines or maybe a toxic waste facility. says:

    I would tell you all about my feelings towards Kelly & Jill but we all know that “feelings are so 1979”.

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  15. Apparently I am missing the boat by not watching RHoNY. I am too intellectual and lofty to lower myself to watch something like that show. And besides, it’s probably on opposite some of my PBS shows that I TiVo. (Two at time in the living room and one in the bedroom). Shows like; 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, Celebrity Rehab and Sober House; Ru Paul’s Drag Race. These shows are intellectually filling, full of wonderful people who are DOING something with their LIVES and beautiful scores of Mozart, Bach and Chopin.

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  16. June, you left out hooker. Unfortunately, nobody threw out my favorite – d-bag. Maybe that’s just reserved for boys?

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  17. Just found this blog…read through many of the older posts…could not be happier to have stumbled upon this jewel. Maybe because such a talented writer is not above watching the housewives. I don’t really watch tv, but I do try to keep up on this oddity. Last night was such a Ramona coaster. ‘My friends.’ (spoken, not sung)

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  18. Proust! Snort!
    Ok, I missed the last two weeks of RHoNY. I think it was a subconscious thing because I had just (re-)read somewhere that all “reality” shows are scripted and I was crushed.
    But there is NO WAY that Ramona’s eyes are scripted.
    I wish I had seen Kelly’s meltdown, though, because I. Do. Not. Like. Her.

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  19. Proust! Snort!
    Ok, I missed the last two weeks of RHoNY. I think it was a subconscious thing because I had just (re-)read somewhere that all “reality” shows are scripted and I was crushed.
    But there is NO WAY that Ramona’s eyes are scripted.
    I wish I had seen Kelly’s meltdown, though, because I. Do. Not. Like. Her.

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  20. Proust! Snort!
    Ok, I missed the last two weeks of RHoNY. I think it was a subconscious thing because I had just (re-)read somewhere that all “reality” shows are scripted and I was crushed.
    But there is NO WAY that Ramona’s eyes are scripted.
    I wish I had seen Kelly’s meltdown, though, because I. Do. Not. Like. Her.

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  21. I think I watched the first two seasons of RHoNY and now it appears that I am really missing out. I do know that I have always loved Bethenny. Louanne, excuse me, Countess Louanne, used to drive me up the wall but I am assumming that she is no longer on the show? She seemed so phony baloney to me.

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  22. June, I just read this FABULOUS blog where Kelly is diagnosed with a Paranoid Personality Disorder and Jill is diagnosed with a Narcissitic Personaity Disorder!
    Satchels of Gold!
    Al Sharpton!

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  23. I disliked Kelly from Day One and think she is kind of scary looking, too. There is something seriously wrong with her. Not that any of them would meet my definition of “normal”.

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  24. You’re welcome! Thanks for the shout out!
    I’ll be here at 7 to find out what y’all think.

    Like

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