Post. Posty post post post.

Sorry to take so long to post today, and I like how I have to apologize for not POSTING first thing in the MORNING on a SUNDAY when people like Miss Doxie go a year between posts and I post every day, and I wonder if I could cram the word "post" into this sentence one more post time post?

Post.

I was at church. I am not even kidding you. Yes, I did look at the ceiling to see if it was caving in.

My friend Ann said I should go to church with her some Sunday, as she goes to a traditional church but it has an all-inclusive feel to it that appealed to me, and this week when I was waiting for that company to call me for an interview, I promised God that if they called I would go to church.

You really don't want to renege on a promise to God. Especially the day before a job interview.

And I really liked it there! The minister was a woman, and she had a lot of interesting things to say, and everyone was friendly and just like my church back in TinyTown, there was food after. Which you know matters to me. Because you get HUNGRY sitting there that time of day. I think bagels should be a traditional part of a church service.

Anyway, I have to post post post this post and then leave again, because another friend is having a show at a gallery, and I do not know why I know so many artist types when I cannot draw an asterisk that doesn't look drunk.

So yesterday I managed to work nine hours, because did I MENTION I have to proofread five textbooks first if I get this job, and then I also dashed off and did some intense shopping for my interview outfit, and I also weeded the yard for a sweaty unbelievably humid hour and all in all it was a relaxing day.

Marvin took apart our whole archway thingie in the back yard where our gate is and then put it back together, because he claimed it was "falling apart." Things are forever falling apart, according to Marvin. This is a common refrain from him. "We should get a new whatever for the whatever," I'll say, and you can imagine it's fun to be around me when I speak so specifically. "Why bother?" Marvin will say. "That thing's falling apart."

I'd like to take Marvin to some ruins one day, so he can see from falling apart.

Anyway, he drilled and he hammered and he moved and he got all flushy, and at the end of the day he said, "Look at the arch! Doesn't it look good now?"

He was so proud. You guys. It looked exactly the same to me. I feigned thrilledness, though. "Looks great!" I enthused. "Yeah, it was falling apart," said Marvin.

It was getting dark, and we had both worked like pooches, and I said, "Would you like to sit on the porch and watch fireflies with me?" So we sat there, and a breeze finally kicked up, and the katydids started chirping, and there went the fireflies. Henry and Winston were hiding on each other in the monkey grass, so every once in awhile a cat would BOUNCE UP out of the jungle to land on the back of the other.

It was so nice, but I was parched and tired. You know I don't drink, but you know what sounded delish to me right then? Was a big giant beer.

"God, I wish I had a Bud Light," I said. Because I am from Michigan. Our first instinct is for a domestic beer. Sue us.

"You want to be a firefly?" asked Marvin, who have I mentioned 20 times is hard of the hearing?

"A BUD LIGHT. BUD LIGHT. Not a BUTT LIGHT," I told him.

Really looking forward to when we're 80.

At any rate, here's what I bought yesterday in my intense hour of shopping:

Necklace

I bought some blinds. No, no. I bought this necklace, to go with my new jacket and new black pants, which, why do they make pants so ding-dang LONG now? I'll need stilts tomorrow.

Graybegone
Also, I purchased this stuff to color in my gray roots. Because naturally they popped out right when I got this interview.

Shoe

And finally, I got these shoes. So I'll have on a black jacket and pants and these red shoes. I am excited. Maybe I'll put my feet up on the table so everyone can appreciate them during the interview process. Do you think?

I had better go look at art then return back here for 22947439 hours of proofreading. I guess if I don't get this job, I'll be way ahead on my work, at least. And I can sit around the house in my red shoes. And sweats. That'll look nice.

P.S. Post.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

49 thoughts on “Post. Posty post post post.”

  1. I’d like to apologize for being immature and pervy, and then tell you that I saw the picture of your hair color product before I saw the text cluing me in to the fact that it was a hair color product, and I was really REALLY wondering why you had posted a picture of a vibrator on your blog.

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  2. Molly just took all my coherent thoughts right out of my head! That should be comment of the week, right there.
    What a lovely evening! It sounds so relaxing and sweet.
    LOVE those shoes! Love them!

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  3. Molly, I don’t know for sure, this is just what I’ve heard, but I think a black vibrator, like you thought June had there, would be bigger.

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  4. Molly, I don’t know for sure, this is just what I’ve heard, but I think a black vibrator, like you thought June had there, would be bigger.

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  5. Molly, I don’t know for sure, this is just what I’ve heard, but I think a black vibrator, like you thought June had there, would be bigger.

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  6. No more talk about pants being too long! I have just gone a week with my hubby, now called the incredible shrinking man, saying his pants are too long. He actually thought that maybe I was secretly letting the hem in his pants out just to make him think he is shrinking. Like I got time to do that. Actually, if I had thought of it I might have since it seems to really drive him insane lately. I like the red shoes. Since you are wearing pants you could put your feet up during the interview. You wouldn’t be flashing them or anything. I also did think vibrator too. I was wondering what that had to do with getting ready for an interview. I’ll go sit in the corner now.

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  7. I am so glad I wasn’t the only one suspicious of that color tube thing.
    I thought June was going to tell us that she left Marvin over his deafness and that was his replacement.

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  8. The shoes are fantabulastic!
    Great marketing on the part of the hair coloring company. What’s better than a replica of a “personal massager”? Imagine all the questions it will generate. Genius!
    You might want to leave that at home though. Especially tomorrow. Your purse may tip over and that could be a little um, well embarrassing. Good luck at the interview!

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  9. Paula H&B, you SLAY me.
    Knock ’em dead tomorrow, June. I hope the two replacements of the people you interviewed with before are also of the unanimous opinion that you are IT.

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  10. Now see, I thought June was leading us down a winding path to tell us about Marvin saying the vibrator/hair dye was falling apart. What can I say, I’m impressionable when it comes to vibrators uh I mean story time.

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  11. I too thought vacuum cleaner attachment. Can you tell I’ve been married for 24 + years?
    Good luck with the interview.

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  12. Yeah I saw vacuum attachment as well. Love the shoes. Knock ’em dead, Dorothy.

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  13. They will count their lucky stars the day they hire the wonderful Miss June. Best wishes tomorrow.

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  14. Can’t wait to hear about the interview! I”m sure you’ll do great. The shoes are fabulous.
    I am also in the club of people who thought that was a personal item. Have you seen the “personal massagers” in home catalogs? I get this one catalog called Solutions, and it has products for your kitchen, bath, yard, etc. But it also has a page of personal massagers. It describes them as “curved to fit a woman’s shape”. The picture shows a woman holding it against her neck. I really wonder how many people they think they are fooling.

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  15. The shoes are great! They will be foolish not to hire you. I know you’ll get the job. So glad you went to church. It would be nice if you had a church community there as you did in tiny town.

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  16. Okay, now. Sounds like the gang is happy with your red footwear choice and is sure you will get the job because of those shoes. If things go downhill, you can always tap them together and say “there’s no place like home.”
    Also, too, my first thought with the cylinder shaped item was that it was a personal device, and then my second was that it was the vacuum attachment. Does that indicate how my mind works? Fun and games first and house work last.

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  17. That vibrator doesn’t look like any hair dye product I have ever seen. Just what ARE you doing to your hair, missy?

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  18. Love love love the red shoes. Absolutely jealous.
    Paula H&B, I was in stitches. Glad I’m not the only one who has dirty thoughts of that hair dye.
    And be thankful pants are too long on you! It’s a life of hardship when you go through a poor spot and have to buy pants that are *gasp* REGULAR LENGTH. Yes, I am apparently complaining about having long legs. I’ll go ahead and leave now.

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  19. Those are some dang nice red shoes! There’s no way they won’t hire you when you show up in the killer red shoes. You could have saved the money on the necklace cause everyone will be checking out the shoes. Could I say shoes one more time. You with the post, me with the shoes. Good luck with your interview.

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  20. Diane – I think I heard it somewhere that it is illegal to import “marital aids”, so they get around it by marketing them as massagers or toys – that’s why most of them also have a face if you look closely.

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  21. Am I the only one who didn’t even see the shoes because of the tattoo. I cannot imagine June in a tattoo parlor. Actually come to think of it I can and it would be hysterical.

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  22. Just finished reading the Wizard of Oz with the kids – did you know that in the book the shoes are SILVER? Either way, I saw those shoes and thought Dorothy too.

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  23. Love those shoes! And I’m not that big of a shoe freak…okay, I am I just don’t have more than 6 pairs (that’s all inclusive: tennis shoes, sandals, boots, heels). I live in a house full of testosterone. They don’t get it! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP, SLAM!
    Good luck at the interview! You’ll do great, how can you not with those shoes…and the whole not reneging on God…you’re a shoe in! I’m sorry, still obsessed with the shoes.

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