June prepares for her “come as your biggest fear” party

Annnnnnd the high today is 92. Because I'm having an outdoor party. In June. In the South. That's why.

I hope no one is coming dressed as a bear. Unless it's like a gay man bear with assless chaps. Because at least then there'd be a cool breeze.

We all worked like demons yesterday setting up Peg's yard, and then we commenced again this morning.

Marvinspitchin

Marvin's so excited about our party he's pitchin' a tent!

My driveway, shown above, is going to be the drinks station. It's where you'll get your Cheerwine, your Corona, your coffee, which I am stupidly making even though it is going to be 92. Hell, it already IS 92. Trust me. I was just out there.

Yardopeg
Here is Peg's yard. We thought we'd leave the ladder just like that just to watch people trip. In case that was anyone's biggest fear. Also, yes, mom, that IS your dining-room table back there. You gave it to me, remember? I am allowed to schlep it into someone's back yard if I feel like it.

Creepy
Oh, by the way, Faithful Reader Tee, there's a fake snake in this picture.

We hung bugs and bats and snakes everywhere, and ironically sometimes had to knock actual real bugs off Peg's wall to make room for fake ones. Also, one of the bats fell off and it fluttered off very realistically. Cool! I like bats, personally.

Anyway, we all retreated to our air conditioning until 5:00, when we will start setting up the tables and such. I am certain it won't be hot as blazes or anything at 5:00. And also, our bookshelves aren't done being painted, so if anyone wants to come in my house to go to the bathroom, our house is a wreck. Yay.

Whocares
Someone does not care that we are partaying down tonight. Someone also does not care that that window sill needs painting. Perhaps he thought he was camouflaged there. We see you, Henry. Nice try.

Comment of the week goes to Joann, who apparently I am obsessed with because she won the caption contest, too. Clearly we are having an affair.

I'll show you pictures of everyone's costumes tomorrow. You have something to live for.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

18 thoughts on “June prepares for her “come as your biggest fear” party”

  1. If I were going to your 92 degree party? I’d be the only one comfortable. My biggest fear is accidentally leaving the house naked, and somehow ending up back in tenth grade, in algebra class, but with my middle aged cellulite and droopy boobs.
    Okay, I wouldn’t say I’d be COMFORTABLE. But at least I wouldn’t be worried about the weather.

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  2. I think I’d stay in the house with the AC and Hen. My fear is the fool I make of myself at a party.

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  3. Is that the side of your house, in that first picture? It looks a lot like my grandma’s house. Mamma ‘Roe’s. The one whose mini-irons and junk you have now.
    Have fun tonight!

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  4. Hi June! I’m back from our trip! Just finished reading the past posts! What is wrong with that company that they have not called you back immediately? Do you want me to go down there and rough them up a bit?
    Hope you have a fun partaaay! Can’t wait to see the costumes!
    Missed you while I was away. Did you miss me?!! : ) hee hee!
    Hen-Hen is too adorable for words.

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  5. Speaking of SNAKES? Just this morning I was walking up our sidewalk from sweet hubby’s workshop to the house and right at the edge of the walk, perched right up in a little bush, was a big black SNAKE. Initially I thought it was a bird nest. Of course, I screamed. Hubby came running out of his shop and as I was trying to point out the snake. He walked right past the thing, just like I did on the way down the walk. I wanted him to kill it, but AGAIN he refused saying it was a “good” snake. From my point of view the only GOOD snake is a DEAD one. If I wasn’t so afraid of the thing I would kill it myself. Now I want all the ivy and bushed cut. I’m going to Lowe’s for some Roundup.
    I’m not sure how I would come dressed to your party, I wouldn’t want to be a snake in the grass. Have a fun party. One of those fans that shoots out the mist would be nice to cool all your guests.
    You know I love that photo of Henry.

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  6. Target Steve you are on the funny today!
    June, wishing you cool breezes for your soiree. If they suddenly turned into a tornado maybe someone else’s biggest fear will come true. Not that I’m wishing a tornado on you of course. I’m just saying.

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  7. It is Oh.So.Hot here. I mean HOT! Maybe y’all should have a fan going that partygoers can take turns standing in front of!!

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  8. Dang! Dang! Dang! The day I have to run 4 mazillion kids 14 mazillion places and I have no time for blogs, is the day I get comment of the week! Yay, Yay for me! June, even when we’re not meeting covertly, you always make me feel so special.
    I’m sure you’re getting dressed as your biggest fear right now and running around like a chicken with its head cut off, (Eeeww), but I just wanted to say thanks so much and have fun with your fear.

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  9. Have fun at your party! Totally jealous.
    I had some friends move up to Portland, OR from our hometown on the coast and he was shocked when I told him the hottest time of day was in the evening. He said, “I thought the hottest time of day was when the sun was at its highest.” No one told him he wasn’t moving to an African novel.

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  10. “Pitchin’ a tent!” THIS is why I save all your posts for when I’m in need of a lift. =) Bye, Bye, Pie! It’s what your body needs!

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