Yard sale. Do you sell antiperspirant?

This morning Marvin and I went to a yard sale in our neighborhood.

Yard

You know it's a bad sign when you go outside before 9:00 and the katydids are already chirping. Girl, it was hot. But we had three dollars in our pockets and we needed to spend it.

Chimphead

Marvin took his new haircut. He got groomed for summer. Doesn't he look cute? He looks like a little howler monkey. You know, in a good way. And yes, that is a leash he has. God forbid we go anywhere without that dog.

Smartdog

Because she's brilliant, and we enjoy the intellectual stimulation.

Even though it was only three blocks away, we got all sweaty like Elvis in concert. You know. In the '70s. When he was all curvy. Embracing his curves, as it were. And embracing his downers. Sweaty like that.

When I got home I checked the temp, and it is 80 with 72% humidity. Nice. Did I mention it's before 9:00?

Heresoletspull

Anyway, we finally perspirationally got there. I do not know why Marvin is wearing a long-sleeve shirt. Remember when that guy who played Martin on the show Martin, whose name I think was actually Martin, who went jogging and wore tons of layers and had to be hauled off by an ambulance? Maybe Marvin is trying for that.

And you know who's good on her leash? And heels like a champ? Is that Tallulah.

Once we got there, I felt weird taking pictures, but I can tell you the people had a little Maltese and I am sorry to say size-ist Tallulah was not polite. So then one of us had to stand in the street with old Growly, while the other shopped. We had our eye on a little cabinet, but some old man bought it. I tried to get Tallulah to sic him, but he hadn't made a typo. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

In other news, I made up with two of my Thursday women. I do not know if I will go back to Thursdays, but at least I don't have to be afraid to go to, say, the grocery store and have some awkward reunion or something. I am getting together with one of said women in less than an hour, so I should go. Because, sweaty? I'll get there and she'll say, "I didn't know there was a marathon in town."

Am also going to buy my 30-Day Shred today, as so many of you have already done. It sounds like you can get it cheapest at Target, which segues nicely into announcing that Target Steve is my commenter of the week. We have an honorable mention this week, too, that goes to Anita. Click This Week's Special if you cannot stand the suspense.

Seriously, I am so tired of being sticky. And it's not even officially summer yet, is it? I understand why Mrs. Roper wore mumus. I just want to be in something flowy. Or naked. I want to be in something naked. Do you think I should show up naked for my official making-up-with-my-Thursday friend? or might that send the wrong message?

Okay. Will glisten at you later.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

29 thoughts on “Yard sale. Do you sell antiperspirant?”

  1. Not only is Marvin wearing a long sleeved shirt he’s also wearing jeans! What ever happened to shorts?
    Just noticed I can “like” your post on FB. Which I will do promptly after posting my comment.

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  2. I am headed out myself to go glisten and drip at our fabulous farmers’ market. Hopefully, I won’t drip all over the fruit.
    Marvin should definitely think about some shorts and t shirts for the summer.
    Did you initiate the conversations with the 2 Thursdays? Or did they? You are going to have to give us the scoop on this because you know we all have something to say on this topic!
    And Target Steve! You totally deserve Commenter of the Week. Hooray for Target Steve! Maybe Beth will do something special for you since you are now a celebrity in June’s Blog World. : )

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  3. Hi June-bug. I am not going to be doing the shredding veedeo with you. I do not like the shredding but I do love the veedeo part. I will now be saying that word.
    We are going fishing on boaty today. I will shred some fish for you.

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  4. Congrats Target Steve and Anita!!
    My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire and women glow.
    Meanwhile, my son “perspires” so much he could grow rice.
    Dying to hear about the Thursdays!! Was going to ask. Have lost the use of first person pronouns.

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  5. Congrats Target Steve and Anita!!
    My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire and women glow.
    Meanwhile, my son “perspires” so much he could grow rice.
    Dying to hear about the Thursdays!! Was going to ask. Have lost the use of first person pronouns.

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  6. Congrats Target Steve and Anita!!
    My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire and women glow.
    Meanwhile, my son “perspires” so much he could grow rice.
    Dying to hear about the Thursdays!! Was going to ask. Have lost the use of first person pronouns.

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  7. Seriously Marvin, what’s up with the flannel and jeans? We’re frying egg out on the driveway if anyone wants to join us for breakfast.
    I am honored to make honorable mention! Is that the blue ribbon or the yellow ribbon? Do I get a ribbon at all?
    Oh the Shred video you can download from Amazon for $5 or $2 for each level. I may try level one and see if I survive.

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  8. Marvin ..ack..get thyself to a store and get some clothes….waaaaaaaaay too hot for jeans and long sleeves. I shouldn’t admit this but my better half has started buying seersucker shirts at Belk and loves them — they are cool. He says that they are for old men though. And, he is old.
    June, so so glad that things have kinda smoothed over with two of the Thursday ladies!! Best news I’ve heard all week as a matter of fact!

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  9. Dawn!! My husband literally a few seconds ago heard me laugh and then said in the most depressing little voice, “Are you laughing at what I said, or something you just read online.”

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  10. Looking at that picture of Marvin in his jeans and flannels makes me hot and not in a good way.
    I tried to start the Shred last night, I really did. But the couch won out in the end. Maybe I’ll try again today.

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  11. Forget the cabinet at the garage sale and buy Marv some summer clothes. Who cares if they are used? It is HOT out there!
    We had friends over to swim (but i wasn’t swimming because I need the 90 day shred in order to go public in the swimsuit) and I had to keep making excuses to go in the house where it is AIR CONDITIONED. So happy when they left and i could stretch out under the fan.
    Talu’s a size-ist Hahahahahaha! Love it!

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  12. I purchased and tried that 30 Day Shred like a year ago. Yes, like a year, but not really a year. Girl, that veedeo liked to have killed me. But, perhaps I will try it again. Perhaps.

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  13. I just ran through the sprinkler… planted some new grass (lawn type for all you stoners, medicinal only of course). And now I feel fresh and clean, just like a Summers Eve.

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  14. You guys! By June 9th, it had already rained 3 inches in Portland, surpassing last year’s 1/2 inch. I wish we had some sunshine over here.
    But then again, sweaty boobs? Nevermind!

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  15. Why is Marvin wearing those WINTER clothes and it 100 degrees in the shade? Buy the man some summer clothes–tee shirt and shorts work really well in this heat. Oh yeah, and a pair of flip flops.
    “…sic not a typo…” crack me up.
    We must know the details of making up with your Thursday women.

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  16. I would love to hear more about the Thursday women and the “makeups.” I’m betting they had no idea your feelings were hurt. Did they use kids and family as an excuse? Women can act as if children and family trumps everything, but it’s really no better than dropping plans with a girlfriend because you got a date.

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