Oh. My shattered arse.
First of all, I take issue with the box. Who works out with a huge medallion like that? Is she Barry Gibb? She's gonna bean herself in the head. Plus, if you read the back of the box, it reads "own personal" at one point, which is a phrase I hate. If it's your own, of course it's personal. And if it's personal, of course it's your own.
Also, I think there's an extra space before the word "a" at one point, and it seems like sometimes there's only one space after the period back there and sometimes two. But this could be just me and my hangups. You think?
Anyway, I got out my hand weights and my mat, like this taskmaster told me to.
(My wrists are sweating on the keyboard, by the way, while I tell this to you.)
Of course, as soon as I did that, Tallulah assumed it was some kind of pink carpet laid out for her.
So naturally I took the opportunity to torment her with a lei…
…and engage her chesty self in a dance. Who is over me? Look at her expression.
Anyway, she left. Which was the whole point.
Then I was able to get started on this Nazi's workout plan.
Mother of God. Did everyone else follow Anita or whoever she was, the "easy" person in the back? Because I like how she was supposed to be a beginner but she had 12-pack abs. Yes, they found her in some 7-Eleven parking lot, chomping on a corn dog. "Hey, beginner, would you be in our workout veedeo?"
Nevertheless, I was able to do everything, although my knee arthritis hurt like a mo' sometimes. I think I'm supposed to just keep working out, though, and it'll go away. That's what they told me at the doctor. So, okay. When I need that knee replacement surgery I'll let you know if that's true or not.
Did anyone else pee themselves a little during the jumping jacks? Or was that just me?
So how many days a week are we supposed to do this ridiculous workout? Did anyone watch the rest of the DVD to find out?
Oh, and I forgot to include my pretty after shot. Mmmm! Am attracted to self.
You know what I might do? Shower.
I think I hate Jillian Michaels.