Faithful Readers · June's stupid life · Money

Screen doors, Marvin thwarts, and cupcake floss

You'll notice I'm not at Home Depot, getting my screen door. Oh, did I not tell you I found a screen door I liked? One of you told me they had wooden screen doors there, just like I liked, and they were less then $200 when I looked! I was so excited, and I emailed… Continue reading Screen doors, Marvin thwarts, and cupcake floss

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life · My pets

Benry

You would die if you knew how many people sent me pictures of Henry with Barry Gibb hair.       Faithful Reader Christine sent a really good one in Flicker, which won't let me cut and paste. Stupid Flicker. Here's the link. But it was Faithful Reader Rebecca who sent in her photo first… Continue reading Benry

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Dr. June

Well, here I go. Back to real life. Fortunately I don't mind so much. I always think if you get back from a vacation and you're absolutely miserable to be back, you should rethink your life. Dr. June. I should have my own TV show. Did I ever tell you when I lived in LA,… Continue reading Dr. June

Family · June's stupid life · Photo essays

June’s vacation pictures. …Hey! Where ya going?

Remember when the Jews wandered the desert for 40 years? That was nothing compared to me trying to get home from effing Colorado last night. Holy Katie H. Crap.I was in FOUR airports. I traveled for FOURTEEN hours. This would make sense if Aunt Mary lived in, say, Amsterdam, but she's like FOUR STATES AWAY.Who… Continue reading June’s vacation pictures. …Hey! Where ya going?

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

I do not exist

I cannot blog today, although clearly I AM blogging, so what a cold-blooded liar I am. But this is my last day here on vacation, so I must, you know, vacation. However, I wanted to check in and tell you I'm (a) not dead, because I know how ya'll get twisted in your panty parts… Continue reading I do not exist

Family · June's stupid life

The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

Who watched the season premiere of Mad Men last night? Best line of the show was, "They couldn't even afford to send a whole interviewer." If you don't watch Mad Men, you are already bored silly by today's post. Yesterday was my aunt's official birthday, and we had a high time. I do not mean… Continue reading The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

Family · June's stupid life

Wind Beneath My Grill

In case you were worried sick, I am still on vacation in Colorado. I did not storm home in any sort of family drama huff or anything. In fact, we went to my Aunt Mary's downtown--not that she owns the downtown, and why not? Doesn't it irritate you that none of your relatives are filthy rich?--and… Continue reading Wind Beneath My Grill

Family · June's stupid life

Silver bird takes me ‘cross the sky

Fortunately, I have nothing to tell you today that's gonna piss anybody off. Unless me flying across the country to spend time with family angers anyone. Ooo, what if environmentalists are reading this? Did I mention I'm flying a private plane? Yes, my family name is American Airlines. Everybody off this thing! It's my plane!… Continue reading Silver bird takes me ‘cross the sky

Dooce envy · Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

Am.I.black.or.white.am.I.straight.or.gay. Controgersy! “Controgersy.” Nice. What do I do for a living, again?

Well, that was exciting. We had some fire in the comments yesterday! Okay, it wasn't really all that dramatic. Still. So let's keep going! What say you? I am just like Dr. Laura or something, with all my controversy. I wonder if there is anyone on earth who bugs me more than Dr. Laura. She's just… Continue reading Am.I.black.or.white.am.I.straight.or.gay. Controgersy! “Controgersy.” Nice. What do I do for a living, again?

June's stupid life · My pets

Fat Dog Democrat

You know what I bet you wish? Which was a lovely, not-at-all convoluted sentence. I'll bet you wish I'd stop complaining about how much work I have to do. But as Randy on American Idol says every single time I've ever watched that show, which is like five times, check it. I worked at my… Continue reading Fat Dog Democrat

Beauty products · Faithful Readers · June's stupid life · Marvin

Comic Sans

First of all, yay. Okay, so see how I put this little square up here like I know what I'm doing? And you can all say, "Oh, how nice! Our votes mattered! June is a finalist in that Most Ludicrous Blog contest!" What you don't know is the part where I sat here trying to… Continue reading Comic Sans

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Mature

I have to work before work this morning, because something that should have taken me 10 minutes on this this computer took two hours last night. Lucy, the first human ever discovered, called. Wants her RAMs back. Because I cannot post at you today, I leave you with this YouTube video Marvin showed me yesterday.… Continue reading Mature

June's stupid life · Marvin · Proofreading/Copy editing

If you don’t want me to kill flies with Steely Dan, don’t leave Steely Dan out

Today Marvin and I have been married 12 ridiculous years, which is beside the point because I have a lot to do today. That book about the nature of light that I have been working on? It's due very soon. Then right behind that is another book due for that same company. Also, I have… Continue reading If you don’t want me to kill flies with Steely Dan, don’t leave Steely Dan out

Friends · June's stupid life · Photo essays

Am I still 45?

What if now that I'm 45 I'll be all mature and deep and stuff? What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet? The Captain's log. See. Still funny to me. I guess I have not matured yet. So my birthday was excellent. Did you know that every year I take a picture of myself on… Continue reading Am I still 45?

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

Forty-fricking-five

Let me tell you something. If you are not yet 45, prepare to not FEEL 45 when you get there. I think of myself as maybe 27. Without the whole Janice Joplin/Kurt Cobain/Jimi Hendrix burning out before I fade away thing.The above picture is from 1999, when I turned 34. My LA workplace did like… Continue reading Forty-fricking-five

June's stupid life · Photo essays

It’s 1970 and 1990 and 1979 and also now

It's my birthday eve! I am not calling you "Eve," I am saying it is the day before my birthday. I have already started getting cards. And I've been getting presents for a month. My mother, father, aunt, pal Dottie and in-laws have already sent my gift. Don't let me forget to model for you… Continue reading It’s 1970 and 1990 and 1979 and also now

Family · June's stupid life

Piece of mind

Let's discuss my childhood. This was at my GRANDPARENTS' house, with the peace sign pumpkin. For goodness sake. I think it would have been hy-LAR-ious had I turned out super conservative. And, like, a colonel in the Army or something. Does the Army have colonels? Despite my lack of Army-ness, I DO have a fondness… Continue reading Piece of mind

I am berserk · June's stupid life

June is stoned and philosophical. Or you know, not.

I am high as a kite. I am on day two of the experimental migraine drug I am taking from the headache clinic. I was convinced I got the placebo, and after I took it Sunday night and felt no side effects yesterday, I was all, yep. Placebo. Marvin says when kids are "sick" all… Continue reading June is stoned and philosophical. Or you know, not.

Dooce envy · June's stupid life · Photo essays

’80s shoes

I cannot believe how many people participated in a conversation about ranch dressing yesterday. It just goes to show you you have NO IDEA what will make people comment.Take, for example, my new shoes, a riveting topic. Today I will probably get zero comments. Nevertheless, I am showing them to you.Now, I hope you are… Continue reading ’80s shoes