It’s 1970 and 1990 and 1979 and also now

It’s my birthday eve! I am not calling you “Eve,” I am saying it is the day before my birthday.

Cardz

I have already started getting cards.

Presents

And I’ve been getting presents for a month. My mother, father, aunt, pal Dottie and in-laws have already sent my gift. Don’t let me forget to model for you the nice Miley Cyrus pants my friend Dottie got me. Because could Dottie get a bigger kick out of her own self? These gifts up here are from my friend Paula, my cousin Katie and my stepsister. I’ll open them on my real bday.

What can I tell you? I get a lot of attention on my birthday.

By the way, when Dot and I lived together in college, once I got a piece of junk mail addressed to “Djune Gardens.” They inexplicably stuck a “D” at the front of my name. How they made this mistake I’ll never know, but Dottie not only kept the piece of junk mail, she taped it to her door. Years later she sent me a personalized Christmas tree ornament that reads “Djune,” and whenever she mails me something it is to “Djune.” This year my gift was to “Djune Dgardens.”

Again, who is her own house of amusement? Is it Dot?

Anyway, my mother-in-law got me a few birfday things while she was here, but she also sent me $100 yesterday. So after a hard day of work, and working at noon on freelance stuff, and then ending up working about an hour late, do you know what I did?

I took that 100 bucks and went to Old Navy. Because nothing slows me down when I got a Finn in my wallet. Neither Marvin nor I know if “a Finn” is really a hundred bucks, but we are too lazy to look it up.

So here’s what I got. It took me 15 minutes to buy these things. I was a purchasing dervish. There’s a term you hear all the time. A purchasing dervish.

Rrrowwwshoes
Exhibit une. I got me some leopard shoes. Made from real leopards! Okay, not at all, unless leopards are suddenly man-made. Do you like my French, by the way? “une.” I’m Frenchin’ out. Oh, and careful (obsessed) readers will note I have leopard flats already, but they are suede, and not appropriate for summer. See. Is the thing.

Pantalons
Exhibit douche. Okay, “douche” really IS a French word. Just not the word for “two.” Whatev. Here are some skinny brown pants with zippers on the side, because apparently it is 1985 again.

Black
Or, alternatively, it is 1979 again, because t-shirts with butterfly arms are back. I do not mean the arms are made of butterflies. PETA called. Wants my shoes and top.

I like how I can’t possibly be bothered to take the mail off the table before I style these pictures. My father, who is undoubtedly lying down instead of sitting, is rolling in despair. And ordering that DNA test he’s always considered.

Eighthgradecalled
Here is a detail of the sleeve, and you know what’s easy to capture on film? Black fabric.

I forgot to be French. Above is exhibit quiche.

Maxi
Who is delighted maxi skirts are back? So along with it being 1979 and 1985, it is also 1990 and 1970. Hello, garbled fashion years! I look forward to the day they just pick a style for the ’10s. In the meantime, maxi skirts! Just call me maxi! Does anyone remember Maxi perfume? It was not perfume for your maxi pad. So don’t even go there, Hulk.

Leoparddogshoe
Marvin just came in and said a “Finn” is five dollars. And if I got all these clothes for five dollars, it must be 1792. Also, I really need a pedicure. BAH!

Pink
Okay, this looks like an unsexy Mr.-Rogers-in-drag pink cardigan, but really it has a sweet ruffle at the collar, which makes me sound like I am Shirley Partridge, but honest engine, it’s adorable in real life.

Oh. Sorry. Exhibit Peppy LePew.

In case you were being nosy, yes, I am a medium. I knew you were gonna look. Cause I’m a medium. Get it? Oh, with the psychic humor. “Call me now!”

Sexylargegrrrl
Exhibit Marcel Marceau. A sexy tank. Not like a tank to run over people. And this is a large, due to my ENORMOUS hoots.

And there it is. My new wardrobe, thanks to my in-laws and the part where I got born and the wonderful folks at Old Navy.

Oh, and thanks for all your suggestions for what I can photograph this weekend. Everyone was brilliant! I have no idea which one I’ma pick. But I know you wish I’d keep saying “I’ma.”

It’s French.

Wardrobally,

June

Advertisements

Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

54 thoughts on “It’s 1970 and 1990 and 1979 and also now”

  1. A single one hundred dollar bill is called a Benjamin.
    And I say bravo if you purchased all of that clothing for a Benjamin.

    Like

  2. Those shoes are cute! Even cuter with Talu’s foot in them. I might have to go to Old Navy and pick a pair up for myself. Happy Birthday Eve! Being an only child rocks!

    Like

  3. That black dress + the leopard flats = CUTE CUTE outfit. I believe I will make an Old Navy run today to see if they have that dress in my location. Since I am in Arkansas though, I am sure we have all of last season’s options, regurgitated. Because what we are in Arkansas is CUTTING EDGE.

    Like

  4. Tomorrow is my birthday too!!!
    I’ll be 40 – so I’m calling today my last day in the 30’s….eve.
    Happy Birthday!!!

    Like

  5. I am impressed you got that whole haul at Old Navy for a hundy. Very impressed.
    Cute shoes. I covet your shoes. Almost every.single.pair you show us.

    Like

  6. Happy Birthday, June. Apparently, you really are related, diva-ly speaking, to the Furry Godmother, whose birthday we celebrate for the last 29 days of April. If we run out of cake, we get more cake, because as long as we have cake, it’s still her birthday. We have a serious protocol and several serious problems. Seriously.

    Like

  7. One time my boyfriend got a phone call for one “Mr. Godfrey Craigul”
    His name is Geoffrey Craig. I still refer to him (In the privacy of our own home) as Godfrey.
    In college, on the first day of one of my classes, our professor called roll and my friend, Allison, was referred to as Aye-lie-zen.

    Like

  8. arlene, who doesn't get b-day gifts cause we bought somethin' BIG for the house and now regretting telling hubby that says:

    Happy Birthday Eve, Djune! That even sounds Frenchy. Party on, and on, and on. And Terra, I think Furry’s way of celebrating is awesome. Let there be cake! No serious issues at all, nope, not at all.

    Like

  9. My favorite part: I’m her mom! No. She’s not!
    While I was watching, my son came in here because he could hear it. He climbed onto my lap and started repeating everything the little girl said. And laughing his head off.

    Like

  10. We’re in HAWAII!!!
    We’re eating pepper and CHIPS!
    WHAT???????
    Dhappy Dbirthday, Djunie!!
    You’ll see…45 is SOOOOO much better than 44. See, I’ve been 45 for over a month and a half now. Remember? It’s SOOOO much cooler to be 45 than 44.
    Just sayin.
    xoxo!! hee!

    Like

  11. Isn’t it Rainstorm, not brainstorm? They look nervous…
    Have a great birthday eve. Love your Old Navy purchases. How come there’s no blogger ads for Old Navy to match up with your blog?

    Like

  12. I so bought that same tank top last week only in a sexy sort of tan color. It really is cute on. However, mine is un petite because my “hoots”, as you so maturely refer to the bustage, are what might be characterized as modest. I know a woman who told my sister she’d been to Old Navy & found a bunch of cute stuff, so my sister went and SHE found a whole bunch of cute stuff & my sister told me and so I went and found a whole bunch of cute stuff and so on and so on and so on and that commercial used to drive me NUTS!!! You know the one, right? Anyway, Old Navy…getting the free advertising today….

    Like

  13. I thought she said “rainstorm”. Are you joining Marvin in the ranks of the hard of hearing? He’ll be getting you a hearing aid next year for your birthday.
    Cute stuff! Love the shoes. Now you will have to model all of this for us. Happy birthday eve.

    Like

  14. My girls call the week before their party Palooza, with their first name in front of it. And we are supposed to celebrate every day of that week leading up to it. It sounds like you’re having a great Palooza.
    And I too, love the maxi part of fashion comeback. I’m collecting maxi dresses because I love dresses, but I don’t like my pasty white legs so much. And when they go out of style, I’m still going to wear them. Sadly, I’m getting to that age where people will just assume I don’t have a clue about fashion.

    Like

  15. I want pie! I want beef jerky!
    Love the Old Navy clothes. They will make cute outfits in various combinations – tank, skirt, flats. Tank, brown pants, sweater, flats. Etc. I always wish I could shop in outfits. Instead, I get random pieces of clothing that end up going with nothing else in my closet.

    Like

  16. That’s a TOP?? BAHAHAHA….my bad. I guess I could bring some boys to the yard rocking it as a dress, eh?
    Maybe with a denim mini and the leopard flats then. Yes. I’ma make that work.

    Like

  17. Happy Birthday Eve! Pink ruffle cardi? C’est magnifique! Oh how I love an Old Navy splurge. Nothing makes you feel like a Rockafeller like walking out with a huge loot of cute stuff. A.DOR.ABLE feets in shoesies, but I think you could use a pedicure, June, bwaahhhaha!
    I’m sitting in an airport Starbucks watching that video and people are staring at me giggling uncontrolably. “Boom chicka bowowow” — how does she even know that??! It’s exactly what I imagine June was like in 1970. To match her new maxi skirt. TOO CUTE!

    Like

  18. You’re a nicer dog-mom than I am. I’d have gotten out my black Sharpie and given Taluluah’s little footsie leopard spots so she and I could have matching shoes.

    Like

  19. The TV Guide was made out to Chanandler Bong. That was one of the best episodes of Friends. I’ve seen it a million times and it still cracks me up.
    June, I am jealous of your shopping spree. I am also delighted by maxis – both skirts and dresses. They are so comfy.

    Like

  20. I got a thing in the mail from Papa John’s pizza that was addressed to Heywood Jablome. Who in my family thinks they’re funny? I have it narrowed down to two.
    Dang, I’m jealous right here. I’m lucky if someone even SAYS happy birthday to me on my birthday. I even bought a cake mix and frosting. Do you think anyone MADE the cake? Nope. Happy birthday, Heywood. I mean, Junie. 🙂

    Like

  21. The clothes are so cute! I love leopard print, have it in flat, heel and slipper form. Do you not think Talullah would apprecite having some Get That Thing Out Of The Basement nails?

    Like

  22. Hot dog! I feel like it’s MY birthday since June put Lalulah’s foot into her shoe just as I suggested in yesterday’s comments.
    Yes, my life is sad.

    Like

  23. June! Up until the pink sweater, you were so New York!
    I never find anything at Old Navy. Ok, that’s a lie. I have a pair of pajama pants that have blue cats all over them (do not start) and a pair of black yoga pants. But I never find anything I can wear in public. And their shoes pinch my feet. (This is not a criticism of Old Navy shoes, it is a criticism of my stupid fussy feet.)
    I notice none of your birthday cards appear to be mushy or filled with heartfelt sentiment. They all seem to be funny. This does not surprise me.

    Like

  24. June! Up until the pink sweater, you were so New York!
    I never find anything at Old Navy. Ok, that’s a lie. I have a pair of pajama pants that have blue cats all over them (do not start) and a pair of black yoga pants. But I never find anything I can wear in public. And their shoes pinch my feet. (This is not a criticism of Old Navy shoes, it is a criticism of my stupid fussy feet.)
    I notice none of your birthday cards appear to be mushy or filled with heartfelt sentiment. They all seem to be funny. This does not surprise me.

    Like

  25. June! Up until the pink sweater, you were so New York!
    I never find anything at Old Navy. Ok, that’s a lie. I have a pair of pajama pants that have blue cats all over them (do not start) and a pair of black yoga pants. But I never find anything I can wear in public. And their shoes pinch my feet. (This is not a criticism of Old Navy shoes, it is a criticism of my stupid fussy feet.)
    I notice none of your birthday cards appear to be mushy or filled with heartfelt sentiment. They all seem to be funny. This does not surprise me.

    Like

  26. June! Up until the pink sweater, you were so New York!
    I never find anything at Old Navy. Ok, that’s a lie. I have a pair of pajama pants that have blue cats all over them (do not start) and a pair of black yoga pants. But I never find anything I can wear in public. And their shoes pinch my feet. (This is not a criticism of Old Navy shoes, it is a criticism of my stupid fussy feet.)
    I notice none of your birthday cards appear to be mushy or filled with heartfelt sentiment. They all seem to be funny. This does not surprise me.

    Like

  27. June! Up until the pink sweater, you were so New York!
    I never find anything at Old Navy. Ok, that’s a lie. I have a pair of pajama pants that have blue cats all over them (do not start) and a pair of black yoga pants. But I never find anything I can wear in public. And their shoes pinch my feet. (This is not a criticism of Old Navy shoes, it is a criticism of my stupid fussy feet.)
    I notice none of your birthday cards appear to be mushy or filled with heartfelt sentiment. They all seem to be funny. This does not surprise me.

    Like

  28. June! Up until the pink sweater, you were so New York!
    I never find anything at Old Navy. Ok, that’s a lie. I have a pair of pajama pants that have blue cats all over them (do not start) and a pair of black yoga pants. But I never find anything I can wear in public. And their shoes pinch my feet. (This is not a criticism of Old Navy shoes, it is a criticism of my stupid fussy feet.)
    I notice none of your birthday cards appear to be mushy or filled with heartfelt sentiment. They all seem to be funny. This does not surprise me.

    Like

  29. Where’s Tallulah’s pedicure? I think something in a shocking pink would be nice.
    Love the clothes. My aunt wore Charlie, I always wanted a bottle.

    Like

  30. Thanks for showing us your new clothes. I’m especially grateful to see your new trousers with the side zip. I buy only side zip trousers as they make my tummy look flatter. Finding them is like finding another New Zealander in Arkansas. I live in a community that has no Old Navy. I know – what was I thinking? However (and what is with that word), we are going to New Orleans next weekend where I can shop at an Old Navy store! Yay! So even though it’s your birthday tomorrow it’s like you’ve given me a present. Happy Birthday for tomorrow – hope you have a good one. Cheers.

    Like

  31. Happy birthday June! I hope you’ve told them it’s your birthday at the new job. Can’t wait to hear what they do for birthdays!

    Like

Comments are closed.