Silver bird takes me ‘cross the sky

Fortunately, I have nothing to tell you today that's gonna piss anybody off. Unless me flying across the country to spend time with family angers anyone. Ooo, what if environmentalists are reading this? Did I mention I'm flying a private plane?

Yes, my family name is American Airlines. Everybody off this thing! It's my plane!

My Aunt Mary, the one who likes to shop, turns…a certain age this weekend, and my father and I are flying to Colorado to help her celebrate said age.

Mary My Aunt Mary was lying in bed a few months ago, probably under sheets she had shopped for recently, and she was thinking about how I'd be 45 this year. And how that was, you know, old. Then all of a sudden she thought, "OH MY GOD, I'M GONNA BE [insert certain age here]!"

So we're making the best of it. My father is cooking a special dinner. I think my Aunt Mary is cooking special things too. I will be, you know, eating them.

Also, Aunt Mary wants to take me shopping at her favorite store downtown, and my father thought he'd …check out the bar nearby.

So it should be a good trip. Tallulah saw my pink suitcase and is refusing to speak to me. She just huffed out the door to daycare with nary a goodbye. I had to hug her from the back, like I was Heimliching her.

I am unsure of Aunt Mary's computer sitch, but will try to blog when I can. In the meantime, argue amongst yourselves.

Oh! But I did want to show you a photo of cheerful Francis before I go. Ever since my birthday last week, this happy bear and balloon combo that Marvin put on my breakfast-in-bed tray has been on Franny's window sill.

Franwithcheer

Look at Fran arse, effin' bear.

I love seeing his hateful self next to this message of cheer. 

Kiss
But look! It's made him nice to Winston. Perhaps Bear of Joy has special powers. I'm gonna leave it up there. Maybe by the time I get back Francis will be the friendliest cat on earth. And my butthole will be speaking Ugandan. Is Ugandan even a language?

42 thoughts on “Silver bird takes me ‘cross the sky

  1. Have so much fun with your dad and Aunt Mary. It sounds like it’ll be a grand time. What with the shopping, eating and bar-hopping.
    I think your relationship with Aunt Mary might be a little along the lines of the relationship I have with my niece. I am 20 years older than her and I have a feeling that one day I will have the realization that she is old and that makes me *GASP* 20 years older!

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  2. I believe you may have upset the Ugandan community this morning.
    Assuming the picture is you and Aunt Mary (is that her real name?), you too are adorable together.

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  3. June! Look at all that luxurious hair!! I have pictures of myself around that age and had the same long, long locks. What I wouldn’t give to get my virgin hair back.
    Not my virginity though. Heh.

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  4. I am offended by the butthole/Ugandan implication. It insults my heritage, my ancestry, who I am today and who my children will be tommorow.
    For I proudly descend from a very long line…
    of buttholes.

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  5. Have a lovely time! Shop away!
    I had a dream last night that I was a little old lady, all shriveled up, but still wearing the same, “I heart nerds” pajamas, I had on last night. It was such a nightmare, seeing my gummy, shriveled future.
    I, too, am going away for the weekend, for my class reunion where amongst the shiny heads of the men and the crow’s feet of the women I will confirm that I am just a few short steps away from that future.

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  6. Oh, I forgot to mention earlier to have a safe and pleasant trip.
    Sounds like loads of fun. Relax and have a great time.
    We’ll be waiting for you when you return.

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  7. Happy Birthday Aunt Mary! You are going to have a great weekend together.Enjoy!

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  8. Just like Linda from CO, I will also be tempted to stalk you when you are here in our state! I hope you have a fun trip! Let us CO readers know if you want or need any suggestions for eating, shopping, drunken debauchery, etc.
    🙂

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  9. Yay, welcome to Colorado! Are you flying in to Denver? Do you like our circus-tent airport?
    I think you will enjoy the weather. It’s mid 80s to 90, but without that nasty humidity. I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Happy birthday Aunt Mary!

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  10. Have a great time here in our fair state! I will TRY to abstain from stalking also. Unless I can convince the other CO people to help me scope out each and every baggage claim area of the airport. Wouldn’t that be fun?

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  11. Of course I meant to tell you to have a great trip and to wish Aunt Mary Happy Birthday, but I was pecking away on my Kindle there at work which was not easy.
    Also if you happen to fly over Not Target Steve’s Beth, please be sure to ask YOUR airline to drop a chunk of frozen poo in her direction.
    Also too, don’t you have any UGLY pictures of you as a kid? Didn’t you have a gawky stage? Geeeeez. Must be something to that granola-eating-liberal-spouting-earth-shoe-wearing upbringing.

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  12. Of course I meant to tell you to have a great trip and to wish Aunt Mary Happy Birthday, but I was pecking away on my Kindle there at work which was not easy.
    Also if you happen to fly over Not Target Steve’s Beth, please be sure to ask YOUR airline to drop a chunk of frozen poo in her direction.
    Also too, don’t you have any UGLY pictures of you as a kid? Didn’t you have a gawky stage? Geeeeez. Must be something to that granola-eating-liberal-spouting-earth-shoe-wearing upbringing.

    Like

  13. Of course I meant to tell you to have a great trip and to wish Aunt Mary Happy Birthday, but I was pecking away on my Kindle there at work which was not easy.
    Also if you happen to fly over Not Target Steve’s Beth, please be sure to ask YOUR airline to drop a chunk of frozen poo in her direction.
    Also too, don’t you have any UGLY pictures of you as a kid? Didn’t you have a gawky stage? Geeeeez. Must be something to that granola-eating-liberal-spouting-earth-shoe-wearing upbringing.

    Like

  14. Y’know Shelley, if you give it a more official Bye Bye Pie name it may sound less creepy. How about “Mince Boundries With June”? Have fun on your trip!
    Also Lisa T you cracked me up!

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  15. I like “Mince Boundaries With June.” Way better than “Hey, Let’s Stalk June.” Also, I vote Lisa for comment of the week, when she was descended from a long line…of buttholes. That cracked me up. My 15 year-old didn’t understand why I was laughing, even after I explained it to her. Dumb teenagers.

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