Treat?!? Treat!? Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday

Goodness, you all certainly like to indulge yourselves. And I am glad of it. Nothing's worse than some I-have-no-time-for-myself martyrdom. Cut it out. Is what I say. Maybe I could take over Dr. Laura's soon-to-be-vacant position with my fine advice. "Hello, Dr. June? I find myself increasingly sad. I can't sleep, can't eat, I enjoy … Continue reading Treat?!? Treat!? Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday

Wedges of Pieces of Wisdom

I have had three--three!--female friends get divorced and then become obsessed with horses. What gives? One of my friends says her paychecks should just be automatically deposited to the kennel or whatever it's called. STABLE. It's called a stable, isn't it. I wonder if Marvin and I got divorced if I would get way into … Continue reading Wedges of Pieces of Wisdom

June bats her lashes at you. Not that you could tell.

Why do I always think it's gonna be okay to stay up late and watch MadMen? I understand that it is totally worth it, but you should see my bloated self. I look like I slept on a subway grid. Or maybe like I ate 15 Subway sandwiches. Stupid Jerrod. Anyway I have no time, … Continue reading June bats her lashes at you. Not that you could tell.

I’m free! To do what I want! Any old tiiiime. So I’ll do drudgery.

I finished my freelance work!!! Yesterday, I worked from 9:15 a.m. till 7:00. P RIDICULOUS P.M.! Happy Saturday!Then I had to stampede to Target because I am out of my meds--can you tell?--and guess what closes at 6:00 on weekends? Is it the stupid stupid stupid Target pharmacy? Don't I have an in, what with … Continue reading I’m free! To do what I want! Any old tiiiime. So I’ll do drudgery.

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesdays. Because who loves herself and her big ideas?

I have a brillllllliant idea. Brilllllliant. And yes I AM trilling my Ls in my head when I say that, like I'm Julia Child or something. Am I the most annoying person you have ever met?Okay, wait. I just have to bust in and tell you that every morning this poor hunched-over woman power-walks by … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom Wednesdays. Because who loves herself and her big ideas?

Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your husband

I was trying to copy edit something yesterday, and Marvin was all next to me, giggling. "Giggle," he would say, shaking the whole couch. He knew he was irking me, and he kept trying to do it quietly. "Pfffff," he would say, unable to contain himself. "WHAT," I said, hating Marvin. "It's this guy. His … Continue reading Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your husband

In which June invents the word “juzzes,” which is even stupider than when she invented “sparklefraffle.”

Say! Did you jam out to the part where I posted last night? What I enjoy about me is I'm true to my word. My word is gold. Okay, shut up. I didn't get home till 7:30, and then I got distracted. And then we had a terrible storm and we lost our Internet connection, … Continue reading In which June invents the word “juzzes,” which is even stupider than when she invented “sparklefraffle.”

A hodge and a podge. Hey, at least we all get to stop looking at my arse. Actually, that isn’t true.

You know those phony posts where I have eight million topics? Yeah. Okay, first of all, I was having a deeply intellectual evening recently, wherein I was smelling the perfume samples that came in a magazine. I said to Marvin, "Does this one smell like someone put bug spray on a Sweet Tart?" Marvin, who … Continue reading A hodge and a podge. Hey, at least we all get to stop looking at my arse. Actually, that isn’t true.