This is bull shi tzu

Remember when Henry was just a little bitty bite of a kitten and he and Tallulah were the best of friends?

Henlu
They still are.

Zzzz
Henry also seems to feel it's his job to ensure Tallulah's cleanliness, and some day Talu is gonna snap that cat's head clean off.

Groom
I mean, he really gets in there and cleans. He isn't gentle.

But Tallulah has never once complained. Apparently she has no idea she doesn't have to take this.

Despite all this cuteness and supposed gentleness of this dog, she was far from polite to the Shi Tzu who came over last night. Because you know how Talu enjoys her a small dog.

We have a neighbor who is 88, and she lives about five houses away. Every day she walks her cute Shi Tzu, and it is the nicest doggie. He never ever yaps or even gets excited in the slightest, actually. In fact, do you know I've never met a Shi Tzu I didn't like? You'd think Shi Tzus would be nervous bitey shiver-and-pee kinds of dogs, but in fact every one I have ever met is alarmingly calm.

Maxielooking
And so it is with this dog, Maxie. When my neighbor and Maxie walk by, and I am gardening or passed out on the front lawn or whatever, I always pet the dog and chat with my neighbor a bit.

Last night our doorbell rang, which always sends Tallulah into a frenzy as it is.

"WOOF! WOOFWOOFwoofwooofwoof! Grrrrrrrwooof!" said Talu, as I went to the door.

There was my poor neighbor and her Shi Tzu. I thought Tallulah's eyeballs were gonna spring out on coils.

"I've locked myself out of my house," said my neighbor, who is one of those old people who are in great shape. She walks fast and ramrod straight, always dressed neat as a pin, and is very smart. She was a teacher for 49 years. Last night, though, she looked addled.

"I can't believe I've done this. I have never done this," she said.

"WOOF! WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF%$#$@&WOOF!" said Tallulah, her skeleton jumping out of her fur and back in again.

"Well, come in," I said, "we'll figure out what to do."

"GRRRRRR! WOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWYour momma's fat!RRRrrrrrrr!" said Tallulah, grabbing her hand gun and one of those round black bombs like they have on cartoons.

That was when I figured out poor Maxie the Shi Tzu could not just merrily stroll into my house. Tallulah had a knife in her teeth, all her fur was up her back like a mohawk, she had a Swastika arm band on all of a sudden and her fangs were actually glinting. I think she must have purchased some Acme Extra-Scary fangs that she had attached for just such a purpose. In case some dastardly LITTLE dog ever tried to darken her doorstep.

Marvin grabbed Tallulah by the collar and hauled her mohawky self outside. "WOOOWOOOWOOOWOOORRRRRRGetout!Getout!The sow is mine!!" she growled, standing on her hind stupid legs and pawing at the door.

Maxie the Shi Tzu sniffed our rug for a second, then sat down with a sigh. He could not have been more indifferent to the giant Pit mix plotting his demise on the other side of the door.

We decided to walk down and try to break into our neighbor's house. All the way down there, five houses away, we could hear that redunkulous dog barking her fool head off. Sure, the Shi Tzu had left her house, but now WE had left WITH IT! Were we adopting the Shi Tzu? Were we leaving to sign all the paperwork? Were we going to get more Shi Tzus? No matter what was happening, it was necessary to bark about it nonstop.

Anyway, eventually we ended up calling the neighbor's daughter, who had a key, thank God. Did I mention we never heard a peep out of Maxie the entire time? Did I mention he was good and sweet and unmoved by the entire experience?

By the time we got home Tallulah had constructed a dart board with Maxie's picture on it, and some sort of Maxie voodoo doll.

Maybe a new puppy is not such a stellar idea.

Comment of the week does not go to Tallulah, who had a lot of comments, but to Siren, for enjoying my fetal position. Take a look at This Week's Special to see.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

34 thoughts on “This is bull shi tzu”

  1. Love the title of this post – very clever!
    Shih Tzu’s are great little dogs – and I’m not really a fan of the little dogs. They are pretty mellow though.
    Love those pictures of Henry and the redunkulous Lula…our little Jack (7 months old) loves Lucy (7 year old Golden Retriever) and sleeps and cuddles with Lucy, cleans her, and thinks her tail is his own special toy.

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  2. Oh Henry, why can’t kitties stay little? So darn cute he was. Is. Love they he tends to Lu’s hygiene.
    I am not a fan of the small dog either. There are a handful of them that I like. It the constant yappers that get on my nerves. And the ones that look like Ernest Borgnine and breath like they just ran the NY marathon.

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  3. My Shi Tzu looks just like Maxie, but his name is Tater. He was a very lazy puppy, so we named him in honor of his couch potato ways. I don’t know what you consider little, but my Tater is 22 pounds. He is rather large for a Shi Tzu. He definetly takes up his share of the bed. He does not bark that much and never sheds. I recommend Shi Tzus to anyone wanting a dog with small children. He was our first child.

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  4. I was in love with little dogs until I got my 52kg beast pony-dog. Then I got all irate with little dog owners who let their little dogs run between my dog’s legs but get all huffy when mine interacts back. Or let their little dog yapyapyap and strain on their leads towards me but shoot me a dirty look if mine barks at theirs. Double standards are urgh.
    But I love nothing more than a well behaved little dog! Papillons at heel, ancient terriers waddling top speed to keep up with owners, King Charles spaniels sitting and waiting to cross a road. I have to restrain myself from stealing them on the spot.

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  5. Can hardly wait to hear Talu’s side of things, next time she leaves a Facebook status update…

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  6. Oh my! Those pictures melt my heart. My dog, Pickle, is much more cat than dog. She also feels that it is very important to keep up with the oral hygiene of my other two dogs. She is the smallest of the bunch at 50lbs, but she pins down the 75 and 100lb dogs and paws their mouths open and goes to town.
    My lab/pit mix, Zoey, behaves just like Talu. She couldn’t be a better cuddler or a more protective watch dog.She is very vocal and tends to let the whole neighborhood know when she is pissed off.
    Enough about my dogs. I love Henry and Talu!

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  7. This animal person loved all the photos. This post cracked me up.
    You were so kind to help your neighbor. I know she must have been addled.

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  8. Yesterday as an evil cloud floated through the sky, Cosmo in total spaz mode, barking like a maniac, decided he needed to power himself locomotive style through the screen door. It now has a boxer face dent. Cosmo found himself in his crate, rather quickly.
    Lucy fell off the sofa during all of the commotion.
    Did you ever crate Lu?

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  9. My mom had a one-eyed Shih Tzu named Bob. He was the most mellow dog ever. His only flaw, other than that he was blind in his remaining eye and often mistook the standing floor lamp for my mother, was that he snored so loudly we often had to turn up the volume of the TV.

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  10. Expatresse – My mom has had TWO Shih Tzus with only one eye. They lost them during scuffles with other dogs (how’d you like to come home and have to deal with THAT mess?!) Apparently that breed is prone to that problem, and thus make good “only” pets…

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  11. Love this post. DOGS! Who knew? Love a Shih Tzu, but Terra’s mom has one that is a little crazy. She calls him Charlie Angel, but I call him Chuckles.
    Papillons are my fave though.
    And I didn’t list my children’s book yesterday. The Stinky Cheese Man.

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  12. What a terrific post. I can picture Talu in the cartoons just as you have it written.
    Love the pics of Henry and Talu. How can Talu not love little Maxie? Does she have a heart of steel?
    Why does she act like a proper lady at Doggy Day Care but resort into Tazmanian Talu at home? Is it the territorial thing? That’s what it is at my house.

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  13. Paula H&B who loves when little dogs come into her work (BANK). Happy the Chihuahua, Luigi the French Bulldog, Missy the Maltese and Mr. Jones the Fox Terrier. says:

    “Bull Shi Tzu.” Dying.

    Like

  14. Paula H&B who loves when little dogs come into her work (BANK). Happy the Chihuahua, Luigi the French Bulldog, Missy the Maltese and Mr. Jones the Fox Terrier. says:

    “Bull Shi Tzu.” Dying.

    Like

  15. Paula H&B who loves when little dogs come into her work (BANK). Happy the Chihuahua, Luigi the French Bulldog, Missy the Maltese and Mr. Jones the Fox Terrier. says:

    “Bull Shi Tzu.” Dying.

    Like

  16. 3 things…You are such a great neighbor, and live in such a nice neighborhood that your neighbor would consider coming to you with her predicament. I’m not sure what I would do.
    2. I love Maxie. He’s incredibly cute. I just decided my next dog will be a Shi Tzu.
    And finally also too, I absolutely love Hen grooming Lula. I wish my kitty were more of a Henry and less of a Francis. Maybe in my next life.

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  17. I meant to say that I’m not sure what I would do if I locked myself out of my house, not if my neighbor came by and needed help. Of course I’d try to help whoever it was, regardless of how scary they may look. At least I like to think I would.

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  18. Ok, are shi tzu’s eyes prone to pop out? My nephews girlfriend has one and he kept warning us they might do this. I didn’t know if he was pulling my leg. But after reading all these one eyed dog stories I’m thinking it’s true. That would freak me out!

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  19. Siren? Love.you. Too young to have such a sarcastic wit.

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  20. My Boy Nelson is a Tzu and my first small dog…he has a wonderful personality and AWESOME manners. I can take him with me everywhere: the bank, soccer, the local boutique, you name it and he acts just like Maxie.
    However, if it makes you feel just a bit better, he has an invisibile fence at home and is more than a little territorial on his own turf. He runs along the border and barks at dogs and innocent walkers.
    I absolutely love that he doesn’t shed, doesn’t drool, is too small to jump on guests and is “portable”!

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