BR-549

Francis thanks you all for yesterday's birthday wishes and says now you can all go away again.

Usually I get Fran a bag of Baked Lay's for his birthday, but he has gotten so fat I could not bring myself to enable him. If he were a person, he'd be one of those crane-to-get-him-out-of-his-home people. Okay, perhaps that's an exaggeration, but he'd at least be Junior Samples.

JuniorSamples
Junior Franples. "549" is Francis' weight.

Hey, what's with Google Images changing how they do pictures now, and when you look something up it's a whole messy jumble of photos and it's really really hard to illegally get images like the one I stole above? How dare they make it hard for me to break the law. Bastards.

Speaking of weight, last night I was out with some friends, and I was wearing a t-shirt and desperately holding in my stomach the entire time. We were with a woman I did not know that well, and I noticed for the first time how good her body was. She is probably my age, although I no longer have any basis in reality for that sort of thing, because I'll see some hagged-out old withered woman and she'll say, "Eeeeyuuup. Just turned 45 last week." I mean, women with the face of one of those apple dolls are 45, and I think, do I look like that? I keep forgetting I'm not 24.

The point is, this woman from last night had flat abs in her tshirt, as opposed to my rollicking ocean of abs going on, over here, she had really good lats, and those pretty Michelle Obama arms, you know what I mean? With the lean muscles.

We were all getting ready to leave and I pulled her aside. "I just have to ask you," I said, "How is it you look so dang good?"

After the usual Southern "Aren't you sweet"s and "Bless your heart"s and "You look good, too, honey"s that Southern people have to do for the first hour and 15 minutes after you compliment them (California people would not even thank you. They would just stampede to their workout plan), she said, "You know what really matters? Your diet. You can do all the exercising in the world, but your diet has to be right for it to show up."

Crap.

Have you met my diet?

Here is what I ate yesterday. And Faithful Reader Furry Godmother, you may want to lay a pillow on the floor, so when you fall over dead you don't crack your head.

Two Pop-Tarts. Blueberry flavor, because blueberries are antioxidants.

Spaghetti and eggplant parm, spinach salad and TWO pieces of garlic bread, courtesy of my workplace that brings in fattening food every day for us. Thanks.

A brownie, also from my workplace, left over from a meeting. Thanks again.

And for dinner? Blueberry Frosted Mini-Wheats (see above re antioxidants), and because I was still hungry, some fettuccine alfredo.

This was in no way an atypical day for me.

So, today's question for Wedges of Wisdom Wednesday or whatever we call it is, What do you eat in a typical day?

I am curious if I am the worst eater out there. There has to be someone worse than me. Are any of you heroin addicts? You must have worse diets than me. Is anyone a binger and purger? Surely you ate more than me. Please tell me you ate more than me. Even if you did not, you know, retain it.

Okay. I was honest. Now you be.

111 thoughts on “BR-549

  1. Hulk lost about 15 pounds recently…
    A bowl of cereal for breakfast, a can of soup for lunch, a lot of water, and a sensible dinner-chicken with rice, a pork chop, etc.
    Oh-getting your heart ripped out helps too…

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  2. So, why is it that I’m so fat and I eat so healthily? Not fair at all!
    Generally, breakfast is glass of V-8 with my vitamins, an egg and two slices of turkey bacon OR tiny bowl of grapenuts cereal, lowfat milk and sliced strawberries.
    Lunch – big salad with 2 slices of turkey lunchmeat, a bit of goat cheese and homemade balsamic vinaigrette dressing. OR if I’m feeling naughty, a chicken burrito with veggies, cheese and beans from the new taqueria that opened here in our city! SO delish!
    Dinner – fish or chicken grilled or sauteed, always fresh veggies, sometimes potatoes. A naughty dinner is whole wheat crust pizza and greek salad or homemade mac & cheese with whole wheat pasta.
    WHY AM I SO FAT? Argh.

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  3. I typically do not eat breakfast. I’ll have juice or something, sometime I’ll eat a granola bar or two pop-tarts or some cookies (and can I tell you how mad I am that I left my piece of cake in the fridge this morning when I left for work?), but normally I’m just not hungry till 10:30 or so, when I’ll eat something very healthy, like more cookies.
    For lunch it’s usually a Lean Cuisine, because they don’t require any preparation the night before. Then, more cookies.
    Dinner is usually either fast food, more cookies, or something like chips and salsa or cheese and crackers (depending on how many cookies I ate that day, I may not be hungry enough for the Big Mac). Then, you guessed it, more cookies.
    I’m pregnant so I’m trying to work vegetables in there and cut back on the cookies, but the thing is … I’m pregnant. So it’s really not a good time to cut back on the cookies. The baby NEEDS the cookies.
    Thank God for my metabolism.

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  4. June, I only drink one cup of coffee because I am a cheap ass. I buy my coffee at Starbucks and I have them grind it. It’s $10 a pound. Which isn’t really that expensive in the grand scheme of things, but I also hate to waste coffee. So if I only brew 4 cups, which is one mug for me and one mug for someone else, it all gets consumed and nothing goes to waste.
    Sugarmommy, I probably have significantly more weight to lose than you do and I was eating a HORRID diet before I started my current one, so my 48lb loss was probably more a combination of being overweight and sending my body into shock by actually eating healthy foods. I’m also religious and have seriously relied on God to pull me through this. For me, breaking my food addiction was like climbing Mt. Everest. I’m not there yet, but I’m a lot closer than I was a few months ago.
    Sorry to write a book!

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  5. I start off pretty good. 2 cups of coffee is a must for things to work properly. I am addicted to yogurt with real blueberries, not the pop-tart variety, and granola. Lunch can be anything from leftovers to pb&j. Dinner, lets spin the wheel and see what we come up with shall we? Oh, and I have ghirardelli dark chocolate within arms reach in my desk at all times.

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  6. Terra and I each had a two egg omelette with spinach and mushrooms, white cheddar and prosciutto, sandwich thins as toast yesterday. Today — oatmeal, blueberries (real ones, you know, actual fruit), 1/4 cup Kashi Go Loean for crunch and cinnamon (levels blood sugars), iced dark coffee and green tea.
    Lunch yesterday — pork tenderloin, quinoa with onions and mushrooms, okra from our garden with tomatoes. Today — grilled salmon, curried lentils w/sweet potatoes (topped with a couple of spoonfuls of greek yogurt spiced with paprika, fennel seed, cumin and agave syrup) and asparagus. Ice water.
    Snack both days — yogurt, Kashi and fresh strawberries. Iced dark coffee w/ Splenda.
    Last night’s dinner — BLT with locally grown tomatoes and locally sourced bacon on sandwich thins with Duke’s mayonnaise. Tonight is a big salad with Roquefort cheese, tomatoes and chicken.
    Terra has a few beers or wine. I always drink bourbon and diet coke at night.

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  7. Terra and I each had a two egg omelette with spinach and mushrooms, white cheddar and prosciutto, sandwich thins as toast yesterday. Today — oatmeal, blueberries (real ones, you know, actual fruit), 1/4 cup Kashi Go Loean for crunch and cinnamon (levels blood sugars), iced dark coffee and green tea.
    Lunch yesterday — pork tenderloin, quinoa with onions and mushrooms, okra from our garden with tomatoes. Today — grilled salmon, curried lentils w/sweet potatoes (topped with a couple of spoonfuls of greek yogurt spiced with paprika, fennel seed, cumin and agave syrup) and asparagus. Ice water.
    Snack both days — yogurt, Kashi and fresh strawberries. Iced dark coffee w/ Splenda.
    Last night’s dinner — BLT with locally grown tomatoes and locally sourced bacon on sandwich thins with Duke’s mayonnaise. Tonight is a big salad with Roquefort cheese, tomatoes and chicken.
    Terra has a few beers or wine. I always drink bourbon and diet coke at night.

    Like

  8. Terra and I each had a two egg omelette with spinach and mushrooms, white cheddar and prosciutto, sandwich thins as toast yesterday. Today — oatmeal, blueberries (real ones, you know, actual fruit), 1/4 cup Kashi Go Loean for crunch and cinnamon (levels blood sugars), iced dark coffee and green tea.
    Lunch yesterday — pork tenderloin, quinoa with onions and mushrooms, okra from our garden with tomatoes. Today — grilled salmon, curried lentils w/sweet potatoes (topped with a couple of spoonfuls of greek yogurt spiced with paprika, fennel seed, cumin and agave syrup) and asparagus. Ice water.
    Snack both days — yogurt, Kashi and fresh strawberries. Iced dark coffee w/ Splenda.
    Last night’s dinner — BLT with locally grown tomatoes and locally sourced bacon on sandwich thins with Duke’s mayonnaise. Tonight is a big salad with Roquefort cheese, tomatoes and chicken.
    Terra has a few beers or wine. I always drink bourbon and diet coke at night.

    Like

  9. I don’t even know how you all remember what you eat. I was thinking about yesterday, and I have no idea what I ate.
    So let’s talk about today. Breakfast was a leftover bean burrito from Taco Bell that I found in the fridge. My vegetarian (but without the vegetable part) daughter will probably be mad that it’s missing. So I’ll buy her another one.
    Just had lunch…toasted whole wheat bread with peanut butter and a banana. I mean, the banana was on the sandwich. Because I’m seven. I drink Diet Coke all day long. I should probably try to get a handle on that. I know, aspartame bad, I’m gonna die, etc.
    I have no idea what’s for dinner. Husband works through dinner, I have one teenage daughter who won’t eat meat, and an eight-year-old who doesn’t eat much of anything. She’d rather play than eat. Can you imagine?

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  10. I eat pretty darned healthy too, keep it around 1300 cals/day and I’m fat and can’t lose. I don’t drink soda and I haven’t had a pop tart since I was about 10. Maybe that’s the problem.

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  11. June, I’ve been traveling all summer and have read your blog not only from Maui, but also from Romania, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Greece, Turkey, Italy, Montenegro, & Croatia. It’s kept me thoroughly amused! AND, when I was missing my own kitties, it was nice to be able to see what yours were doing.
    Thanks so much for being such a faithful blogger!

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  12. Ugh, food bores me. I loved it while I was pregnant but now it’s just plain boring. If I didn’t have to feed my family of 5 I would totally live on chips, crackers, avocados, and cheese. Some people just oooh and aaah over recipes and restaurants and I just get a salad, eat it and be done. Now, this does become helpful when I’m buttoning my jeans but am I getting the right nutrients? Blah. I’ll take a vitamin!

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  13. Let’s see, so far today I’ve had a Quaker Dips Granola bar (have you tried those? it’s a chewy chocolate chip granola bar covered in chocolate. So. Good. And, you know, it’s granola, so it’s health food) and two slices of leftover pizza. I don’t know what I’m having for dinner yet, and I can’t remember what I ate yesterday. Also, I flat out refuse to work out. Ain’t happenin. Man, this is gonna suck when I’m not 24 anymore…

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  14. Breakfast is the highlight of my day, and my diet. Protein (eggs, sometimes sausage), fresh O.J., toast with honey. Keeps me going until about 2:00.
    And then things get ugly. My motto after 2:00 is kill the hunger pangs. Whatever it takes; whatever doesn’t need fixing so I get lots of fruit. Only problem is it leaves me chocolate deprived. Right now I’m on Nestle choco bits because they’re so small, y’know, and hardly count, unless I count the number I’ve eaten or notice how the bag level has dropped. Ice cream is a pretty quick fix, but means I can’t get on the scale the next morning because then I need psychiatric intervention . . . panic attack, A-bomb depression, y’know the drill, right?
    Oh, and I cut out lots of healthy recipes with only five ingredients from Southern Living, the photos always look so delish and one of these days . . . even read Cooks Illustrated for a while — do you know people actually bone their own chicken carcasses? well, it was a great education, but too much for me. I’m gonna call myself a minimalist eater, sounds trendier than dieter, and when I do get on the scale, it’ll give me something soothing to think about. . . Minimalist At Work, minimalizing avordrupois, minimalize negative info. Ahhhh.

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  15. Ok I only eat “real” food but it’s totally not my fault. Jo-Lynne made me do it.
    I have never felt better in my LIFE. No brain fog (my usually daily challenge). Amazing.

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  16. Poptarts: you should not put them in the microwave for 30 seconds, accidentally hit 3 minutes instead, and walk away. Pretty much smelled like the dorm was burning down.
    My husband likes the strawberry ones, which I don’t understand, the chocolate ones are the only ones for me.

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  17. Oh, I had to giggle…the pretzel MMs. The peanut had a disease. That is EXACTLY right!
    Paula HAS to have comment of the week! She pooped a wicker chair!! Bahahaha!
    Thank you, I needed that!

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  18. Paula gets my vote for comment of the week! Cracked me up. But sadly I can relate to the whole fiber issue. Too much is bad too when you don’t drink enough water.
    Furry, I want to try the agave nectar. What is it with at the store? I want to try it on salmon as a glaze.

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  19. The best diet out there is the break up diet. Find someone or something, fall in love, have them break up with you and 10 pounds will be gone in a flash. Guaranteed. Every. Single. Time.

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  20. Eggs for breakfast, always. On weekends, it’s eggs AND bacon.
    Lunch is grilled meat (the George Foreman grill makes this so easy!), and I eat the met with either bbq sauce or avocado (try mashing the avocado with some paprika and cumin – yum!)
    I also eat a lot of fruit at work, because it’s easier to eat raw than vegetables.
    Dinner is baked or bbq’d meat, with baked or bbq;d vegetables. That’s the only way I’ll eat them. They’re crispy and seasoned, and not bland at all. Fruit for dessert, or ice cream on the weekends.
    This, of course, is only when I’m not pregnant and nauseated and completely disinterested in food. These days, there is no typical meal for me. I can’t wait for my second trimester to start. I hear things are so much better.

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  21. Oh God, I’m as bad as you.
    Breakfast is either a large fountain Diet Coke and a donut or a Starbucks mocha frap or a chail tea with a scone.
    Lunch – Pizza or McDonalds or a bag of something crunchy out of the snack machine with a diet coke.
    Dinner – I hate dinner so I usually dont eat it.

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  22. I am going to have to read these comments more carefully when I have time. I am a very healthy eater. I have rheumatoid arthritis and diet is an important part of my self care. Breakfast was steel cut oatmeal, flaxseed, walnuts, soymilk and blueberries. (the real kind). Lunch was roast chicken on whole wheat with avocado, lettuce and red onion, with sauteed spinach and green peppers. Plums and an apple for afternoon snack. Dinner was spring mix salad with berries and pecans (bought it), and chicken piccata with fresh green beans. This is what you need to do to see your abs.
    You know when I first found your blog, I bookmarked it under my ‘health’ folder. I love reading you every day — but it’s probably time for me to find a new category for you ;-))

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  23. Dear June,
    Officially was blocked from your site today at work. The reason that your site was blocked was because it has been labeled as “Pornography”. Sigh….stupid filters.

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  24. What a bad day for me to answer this question – today I had a smoothie made with vanilla yogurt, past their prime blueberries, and canned peaches. Then the cafeteria manager brought around yellow cake with hot fudge topping. Lunch was salad with some light tuna and Wishbone Italian dressing and some cottage cheese. Then a brownie made by the cheerleaders. Once home, I hate half a bag of Sweet Hot Chile Doritos. Then dh and I went to our Mexican restaurant and I had a frozen margarita and a taco. I thought I might forgo birthday cake (ds’s was Sunday) and Blue Bell ice cream – that would be gilding the lily.

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  25. My typical day is:
    Breakfast: Egg white baked spinach omlette
    Lunch: Lean ground turkey baked meatballs with low fat low sodium mozzarella cheese, a spinach salad no dressing and fruit.
    Dinner: Celery with homemade yogurt dip, sliced baked turkey (cold), mixed greens salad with tarragon vinegar dressing and steamed broccoli.
    Desert: Homemade yogurt with fresh blueberries and strawberries.
    I HATE MY LIFE!

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  26. Well, since I’m pregnant, it’s not quite my normal diet, but here goes:
    Pre-breakfast- goldfish in bed, to keep from yakking
    Breakfast- Easy mac
    Lunch- Curry rice noodles, corn and dried cranberries. Not all together.
    Afternoon snack(s)- Cheetos. Then an orange sherbert push pop. Then more goldfish.
    Dinner- A donut. Then 3/4 a frozen pizza.
    I noticed today that most of the foods I can stomache at this point are orange.

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  27. Interesting to see these answers. Also interesting to know why I have the same ocean abs because I don’t think I eat that much…
    2 slices of toast with REAL butter and honey on it and chocolate milk for breakfast.
    Usually a salad for lunch but today it was parts of leftover hoagies, totalling about half of an 8″ hoagie. Then I eat something crunchy like Garden Salsa Sun Chips or pretzels. I HAVE to have at some 4C Green Tea Mix everyday. I try to limit it to one glassful…or it keeps me awake at night. I used to make fun of my dad for not eating certain things because they kept him up at night.
    Snacks are Keebler Grasshopper cookies or cheddar rice cakes or well…today I had a Little Debbie Swiss Roll Cake.
    Supper is whatever I can get away with making which means as little as possible! There are only 3 of us here anymore so it gets tricky thinking of something. Tonight I had half of a peanut butter/jelly sandwich on 12 grain bread…I had a few cookies too before that.
    So exercise is the answer. I guess thinking about starting back on the treadmill doesn’t count as actual exercise.

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  28. Just reading over the comments this morning and it’s jumping out at me that we all are eating out way too much and eating too much processed food, myself included! 😦 I really think fresh fruits and vegetables are the way to go. There was a study done here recently and if you eat just the equivalent of one sausage each day in processed meat you are 1/3 more likely to have a heart attack or a stroke. That really scared me…. think I need to make a few changes.

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  29. So, I lost around 12 pounds over the last 3 months (121 to 109 – I’m a hair under 5’0″) and I was spurred on by (a) hating an FB pic of myself posted by someone else, (b) not losing a single pound after training for a half marathon.
    I counted calories and activity every day, quite meticulously. Now that I’m at my goal, I just count on weekdays and make sure I’m below my expenditure. I use fatsecret.com to track everything (why is my fat a secret? what kind of name is that?) but I guess there are others like fitday that do the same thing. I tried fitday, it annoyed me.
    I eat between 1600 and 2000. I also workout like 5 days a week (yoga, running, & spin class). It has you enter every activity – desk work, sleeping, walking, running, etc – to determine your daily expenditure.

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  30. Oh, and food today.
    Breakfast: 1/2c Dannon Light&Fit yogurt, half a banana, 4 strawberries, couple spoons of granola, soy cappuccino.
    Lunch: Fresh Corn Chowder (leftovers from Moosewood cookbook recipe last night), half a whole wheat pita.
    Snacks: pretzels, plum
    Dinner: the plan is cabbage piroshki thing from the Moosewood cookbook.
    If I have spare calories (unlikely today with it being a rest/no-workout day), maybe a beer or some vino, or some ice cream.

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