BR-549

Francis thanks you all for yesterday's birthday wishes and says now you can all go away again.

Usually I get Fran a bag of Baked Lay's for his birthday, but he has gotten so fat I could not bring myself to enable him. If he were a person, he'd be one of those crane-to-get-him-out-of-his-home people. Okay, perhaps that's an exaggeration, but he'd at least be Junior Samples.

JuniorSamples
Junior Franples. "549" is Francis' weight.

Hey, what's with Google Images changing how they do pictures now, and when you look something up it's a whole messy jumble of photos and it's really really hard to illegally get images like the one I stole above? How dare they make it hard for me to break the law. Bastards.

Speaking of weight, last night I was out with some friends, and I was wearing a t-shirt and desperately holding in my stomach the entire time. We were with a woman I did not know that well, and I noticed for the first time how good her body was. She is probably my age, although I no longer have any basis in reality for that sort of thing, because I'll see some hagged-out old withered woman and she'll say, "Eeeeyuuup. Just turned 45 last week." I mean, women with the face of one of those apple dolls are 45, and I think, do I look like that? I keep forgetting I'm not 24.

The point is, this woman from last night had flat abs in her tshirt, as opposed to my rollicking ocean of abs going on, over here, she had really good lats, and those pretty Michelle Obama arms, you know what I mean? With the lean muscles.

We were all getting ready to leave and I pulled her aside. "I just have to ask you," I said, "How is it you look so dang good?"

After the usual Southern "Aren't you sweet"s and "Bless your heart"s and "You look good, too, honey"s that Southern people have to do for the first hour and 15 minutes after you compliment them (California people would not even thank you. They would just stampede to their workout plan), she said, "You know what really matters? Your diet. You can do all the exercising in the world, but your diet has to be right for it to show up."

Crap.

Have you met my diet?

Here is what I ate yesterday. And Faithful Reader Furry Godmother, you may want to lay a pillow on the floor, so when you fall over dead you don't crack your head.

Two Pop-Tarts. Blueberry flavor, because blueberries are antioxidants.

Spaghetti and eggplant parm, spinach salad and TWO pieces of garlic bread, courtesy of my workplace that brings in fattening food every day for us. Thanks.

A brownie, also from my workplace, left over from a meeting. Thanks again.

And for dinner? Blueberry Frosted Mini-Wheats (see above re antioxidants), and because I was still hungry, some fettuccine alfredo.

This was in no way an atypical day for me.

So, today's question for Wedges of Wisdom Wednesday or whatever we call it is, What do you eat in a typical day?

I am curious if I am the worst eater out there. There has to be someone worse than me. Are any of you heroin addicts? You must have worse diets than me. Is anyone a binger and purger? Surely you ate more than me. Please tell me you ate more than me. Even if you did not, you know, retain it.

Okay. I was honest. Now you be.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

111 thoughts on “BR-549”

  1. Well, since I’m pregnant, it’s not quite my normal diet, but here goes:
    Pre-breakfast- goldfish in bed, to keep from yakking
    Breakfast- Easy mac
    Lunch- Curry rice noodles, corn and dried cranberries. Not all together.
    Afternoon snack(s)- Cheetos. Then an orange sherbert push pop. Then more goldfish.
    Dinner- A donut. Then 3/4 a frozen pizza.
    I noticed today that most of the foods I can stomache at this point are orange.

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  2. Interesting to see these answers. Also interesting to know why I have the same ocean abs because I don’t think I eat that much…
    2 slices of toast with REAL butter and honey on it and chocolate milk for breakfast.
    Usually a salad for lunch but today it was parts of leftover hoagies, totalling about half of an 8″ hoagie. Then I eat something crunchy like Garden Salsa Sun Chips or pretzels. I HAVE to have at some 4C Green Tea Mix everyday. I try to limit it to one glassful…or it keeps me awake at night. I used to make fun of my dad for not eating certain things because they kept him up at night.
    Snacks are Keebler Grasshopper cookies or cheddar rice cakes or well…today I had a Little Debbie Swiss Roll Cake.
    Supper is whatever I can get away with making which means as little as possible! There are only 3 of us here anymore so it gets tricky thinking of something. Tonight I had half of a peanut butter/jelly sandwich on 12 grain bread…I had a few cookies too before that.
    So exercise is the answer. I guess thinking about starting back on the treadmill doesn’t count as actual exercise.

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  3. Just reading over the comments this morning and it’s jumping out at me that we all are eating out way too much and eating too much processed food, myself included! 😦 I really think fresh fruits and vegetables are the way to go. There was a study done here recently and if you eat just the equivalent of one sausage each day in processed meat you are 1/3 more likely to have a heart attack or a stroke. That really scared me…. think I need to make a few changes.

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  4. Yeah, Gra, most people do eat too many processed foods. I try to eat things my grandmother would recognize as food.
    Anita, I get the agave at Costco. They keep it by the other syrups at mine. It’s very good and it really doesn’t seem to spike your blood sugar like other sweeteners.

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  5. Yeah, Gra, most people do eat too many processed foods. I try to eat things my grandmother would recognize as food.
    Anita, I get the agave at Costco. They keep it by the other syrups at mine. It’s very good and it really doesn’t seem to spike your blood sugar like other sweeteners.

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  6. Yeah, Gra, most people do eat too many processed foods. I try to eat things my grandmother would recognize as food.
    Anita, I get the agave at Costco. They keep it by the other syrups at mine. It’s very good and it really doesn’t seem to spike your blood sugar like other sweeteners.

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  7. So, I lost around 12 pounds over the last 3 months (121 to 109 – I’m a hair under 5’0″) and I was spurred on by (a) hating an FB pic of myself posted by someone else, (b) not losing a single pound after training for a half marathon.
    I counted calories and activity every day, quite meticulously. Now that I’m at my goal, I just count on weekdays and make sure I’m below my expenditure. I use fatsecret.com to track everything (why is my fat a secret? what kind of name is that?) but I guess there are others like fitday that do the same thing. I tried fitday, it annoyed me.
    I eat between 1600 and 2000. I also workout like 5 days a week (yoga, running, & spin class). It has you enter every activity – desk work, sleeping, walking, running, etc – to determine your daily expenditure.

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  8. Oh, and food today.
    Breakfast: 1/2c Dannon Light&Fit yogurt, half a banana, 4 strawberries, couple spoons of granola, soy cappuccino.
    Lunch: Fresh Corn Chowder (leftovers from Moosewood cookbook recipe last night), half a whole wheat pita.
    Snacks: pretzels, plum
    Dinner: the plan is cabbage piroshki thing from the Moosewood cookbook.
    If I have spare calories (unlikely today with it being a rest/no-workout day), maybe a beer or some vino, or some ice cream.

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