Pieces of Wisdom: Money can’t buy you glass (This has nothing to do with the theme of today, I just heard Marvin singing it and thought it was funny)

I know you're all busy today, with your celebrating of Barry Gibb's 64th birthday, and also his 40th wedding anniversary. So I probably won't get many readers today. You'll all be hanging your "Happy Birthday, Barry!" banners and so forth. I did all mine last night, because I'm organized that way.

For those of you who are planning to really have your throwdown later tonight, welcome. Thanks for thinking of my blog on this important day.

So, yesterday, on Barry's birthday/anniversary eve, I asked what you ate in a typical day for our Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday question. You all had such diverse answers. Some of you ate the way I do, thank God, and then some of you smug beeyotches were downing your steel-cut oatmeal and your grilled chicken and green tea. I look forward to dancing on your graves with my extra-value meal.

So I tried to cull the most frequent answers on my little magic erase board last night, but really, you should go back and read the 203848502 comments from yesterday. When you aren't celebrating. Our eating your flax or whatever. Because your answers were really all over the place and they were often funny.

I loved the people who had all healthy things and then said, "WHY AM I FAT, STILL!?" And you know what? I mean, I do not know you, so I cannot say, "Oh, you aren't fat." So if you actually are overweight, why ARE you? Doctors or dietitians should look into this. Seriously. Is it all just metabolism? I am no stick, but I certainly get away with a lot, over here, with this special diet of fat, sugar, chemicals and caffeine. I should be at least twice my pants size.

Okay, on with my erase board.

Breakfastwithhenrythebuddha
I was just getting ready for bed last night when I remembered I had to do these stupid pictures. I had already put on my pajama pants. I do not want you to think I went to work in a green shirt and inexplicably baggy pink pants. Anyway, this photo would be great if I hadn't forgotten the sign.

Breakfastwithfranandwin

Marvin became obsessed with getting the cats in there, and ONCE AGAIN we forgot the sign. Things get crazy around here at Barry Gibb's birthday time.

Bfastwsignfinally

Finally. Okay. Here we go. Breakfast. Most of you drink coffee. And I was pleased that others are into the Pop Tarts. I thought I was the only one keeping Mr. Pop Tart in business. Some of us eat Pounce as a breakfast treat but the only people to tell me that are featured in these pictures. And they were getting really annoyed that I kept posing with the bag and not opening it.

Lunch
Why is my forehead so shiny? Perhaps the Pop Tart chemicals are bursting out. Nevertheless, here is my shiny self showing you lunch. Those cucumbers are from Marvin Gardens' garden. I was shocked we had any vegetables in the fridge.

I was astonished at how many people eat Taco Bell. And also M&Ms. Heart you. You are my people.

Dinner

People either screw up their healthy eating by dinnertime or else they wish they didn't have to do anything for dinner, and they wouldn't but they have actual family members to eat with. That was the theme I saw. If people actually ate or they ate well, all I can say is I'm glad I'm not a chicken.

Was surprised how many people ate chocolate. That is me downing some hot chocolate. You know what would have been smart? Is if I'd have turned the label toward the camera. Nice art direction, MARVIN. I blame Marvin.

So thank you all for participating in this week's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesdays. It was fascinating. We should do a comparison of how many people who eat healthfully also work full time. Because those healthy things sounded time-consuming. Who has time to make eggs in the a.m.? Especially on Barry Day.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

49 thoughts on “Pieces of Wisdom: Money can’t buy you glass (This has nothing to do with the theme of today, I just heard Marvin singing it and thought it was funny)”

  1. Dancing on graves of the healthy eaters with with your value meal??!! You are the funniest blogger. Thanks for making me laugh every day!

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  2. Microwaving eggs is super fast! Break a couple of eggs in a glass measuring cup (sprayed with cooking spray for little mess afterward), add a bit of milk and salt and pepper … stir well with a fork … and microwave! My husband introduced me to that method. I thought he was nuts but given how much our daughter loves scrambled eggs, it’s rescued me many mornings when I don’t feel like making a big breakfast.
    And I’m totally distracted by that last picture … what is in that can??

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  3. Love Hen in the first photo. And yes, right now I do have extra time in my schedule to eat healthier and exercise. It is a gift through the trash of being unemployed.

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  4. On the one hand, I know sugar and fakey preservatives are so bad for you. On the other, life is short, man, and where is the sense in depriving yourself and only eating salads and drinking water? It’s a constant battle between my two food selves.

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  5. So last night’s dinner consisted of a pre-dinner drink at the local Spanish restaurant – something with red wine and lemon soda. Then I had a couple Spanish appetizers I have no idea what to tell you they were called – but they included sardines.
    Then for actual dinner I had a beer, chicken kebabs with rice and some buttery garlic sauce, and for dessert I had a couple chocolate-covered dried cherries and some no-fat vanilla yogurt.
    This morning I had grape nuts, cheerios, blueberries, and rice milk all mixed in a bowl. And decaf coffee with cream.

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  6. You’ll be fine until you hit the magic age of 50. That’s when your body begins to convert healthy food into PopTarts and thereby produces more fat cells.

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  7. Ahem! AHem!! AHEm!!!
    AHEM!!!!
    June! It is also MY wedding anniversary! Not that I married Barry Gibb when I was a fetus, but I also just happened to get married on this day 8 years ago! You were invited, remember?
    Happy Anniversary to meeeeeeee!
    And, just for the record, if I get fast food, which is not frequently, I do love the Taco Bells.

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  8. Since when does hot chocolate come in a can? If you have time to make homemade pop tarts you have time to scramble an egg. How long are you people scrambling? It’s like the fastest meal ever.
    Happy Barry Gibbs Birthday day! Let’s all tease our hair, get a fake tan and wear some gold chains.

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  9. Thanks to your post yesterday I have decided it was time to start seriously tracking what I am eating. Taco Bell and ice cream is not helping me lose this food baby I’ve been growing. Today is a new day!
    Happy birthday Barry!

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  10. I was watching a CNBC special on Wal-Mart once, and they track hurricanes. Why? Because people consume huge quantities of pop-tarts during hurricanes. Apparently the most consumed is frosted strawberry.

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  11. Erin, yesterday’s post was an awakening for me, too. Like a slap across the face with a piping hot pancake. I guess it’s time to jump on the tracking-and making-a-better-effort wagon. Only, after we finish Barry’s birthday slash anniversary cake, because I wouldn’t want him to feel bad or anything. What can I say, I’m a real giver.

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  12. Happy anniversary, Pal! Any plans for your big day?
    And thanks all … that god-awful song will now be in my head. Anyone watch RHONJ?? Teresa is scary when angry!!!

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  13. I also watched it, even though I do not watch that particular strain of the Real Housewives. Goodness, she has a temper. Also too, happy anniversary, Pal from MA. Is it a bad sign that I know it is Barrys anniversary but not my oldest friends anniversary?

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  14. Have you seen the speculation as to why she went so nuts? Perhaps the nephew reference was really a nod to Teresa’s hubby’s affair and supposed son with the other woman. Or that Teresa’s brother married an African-American woman so the family disowned him and doesn’t recognize his children with her. Either one would make a bit of sense for her reacting strongly but WOW. Her response was insane.
    But Danielle – that woman is deluded. Kelly from NY might be crazy nutty but Danielle is certifiable, SCARY, needs to be locked up nuts!
    (Can’t wait to see the Beverly Hills version. Camille Grammar?? Yeaaa … that’s gotta be ridiculous drama.)
    I will now go and wash my brain for knowing all this useless crap ….

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  15. I’m a well-brought-up funny classy lady!
    (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
    *scratches armpit*
    *belches*
    *says, “Mmm, tasty!” instead of “Excuse me.”*

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  16. Thanks for the anniversary wishes! We are going out to dinner at a fancy new place here in our fine city. We’ve been told by a zillion people how amazingly delicious it is, so we’re looking forward to that.
    AND YEEEESSSS!!! LOVE RHONJ. Total trash and LOVE it! Teresa is whacko and Danielle just really needs to get over herself. Nice getup for the reunion show. Who wears a sequined mini skirt, a wife-beater and then shoes that have nothing to do with anything? She looks like a hooker. And I’m being mean to hookers out there. Sorry Paula, H&B.
    I’m also digging the new RHODC. They are redonkulous, as well, but in a more civilized way. More catty. Rowr!
    I, too, must also go wash my brain now.

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  17. Oh, those DCers need collars with a bell on them. That Salahi woman leaves me with my mouth open every time. She is as dumb as a rock.
    And Danielle? Is so frickin’ paranoid, it’s spectacular!
    Are you nice, too, Siren? ‘Cause Teresa is always going on and on about how nice she is after she tears up the set like a rabid Rottweiller..
    And no, Chrissy, I hadn’t heard any of that. Only all of the foreclosure stuff and being 11 million in debt that she is totally in denial about.

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  18. Oh, those DCers need collars with a bell on them. That Salahi woman leaves me with my mouth open every time. She is as dumb as a rock.
    And Danielle? Is so frickin’ paranoid, it’s spectacular!
    Are you nice, too, Siren? ‘Cause Teresa is always going on and on about how nice she is after she tears up the set like a rabid Rottweiller..
    And no, Chrissy, I hadn’t heard any of that. Only all of the foreclosure stuff and being 11 million in debt that she is totally in denial about.

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  19. Oh, those DCers need collars with a bell on them. That Salahi woman leaves me with my mouth open every time. She is as dumb as a rock.
    And Danielle? Is so frickin’ paranoid, it’s spectacular!
    Are you nice, too, Siren? ‘Cause Teresa is always going on and on about how nice she is after she tears up the set like a rabid Rottweiller..
    And no, Chrissy, I hadn’t heard any of that. Only all of the foreclosure stuff and being 11 million in debt that she is totally in denial about.

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  20. Ha, Furry!! That is so freaking true! She does go on and on about how nice she is! The website – http://www.celebitchy.com – has the latest gossip on the Teresa freakout.
    Oh and DC!!! The Salahis??? Ackkk … Creepy people! I can’t wait to see what the heck he said to Mary that has her so upset. Blaming her daughter for something related to their party crashing???

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  21. I must confess that I have never, in my blankety blank years of life, eaten a Pop Tart. I KNOW!
    BUT! Today I had a Kashi cereal bar, a blackberry one, and it was delish! And I noticed that my nail polish was almost the same color as part of the wrapper. So, see? I am paying more attention to what I eat.

    Like

  22. I must confess that I have never, in my blankety blank years of life, eaten a Pop Tart. I KNOW!
    BUT! Today I had a Kashi cereal bar, a blackberry one, and it was delish! And I noticed that my nail polish was almost the same color as part of the wrapper. So, see? I am paying more attention to what I eat.

    Like

  23. I must confess that I have never, in my blankety blank years of life, eaten a Pop Tart. I KNOW!
    BUT! Today I had a Kashi cereal bar, a blackberry one, and it was delish! And I noticed that my nail polish was almost the same color as part of the wrapper. So, see? I am paying more attention to what I eat.

    Like

  24. Love your blog! I eat healthy, work full time most of the time (I’m unemployed at the moment, unfortunately), and exercise a lot. And yes, I am one of those unfortunate souls who could stand to shed 50lbs. It sucks. Oh, and I don’t like chocolate. Maybe I should switch to pop tarts, Taco Bell, and Snickers.

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  25. i was too scared to read your comments on your last post. i just turned 40 and i’d love to have flat abs so i wouldn’t have to suck it in when i wear a t-shirt, but if it’s your diet that counts, i’ll never be there. i won’t give up my coke in the mornings and i’m going to eat all the waffles i want with margarine and syrup with that high fructose corn syrup BECAUSE IT TASTES BETTER THAT WAY or they wouldn’t put it in (right?).
    i took my kids on a picnic with a friend the other day and she pulled out water bottles and healthy snacks and i gave my kids a pb sandwich And doritos And soda. her kids noticed so i tossed the poor things a few peanut m&ms (peanuts=healthy). my baby was eating a pop tart (strawberry=fruit). oh and in my mind, ROTEL=vegetables.

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