First of all, thank you all so much for all your kind words yesterday. Marvin said, "Look how many people are in support of our failing marriage!"
Did I mention he bugs me? Did I mention he's the president of his local Optimists' Club?
But really, we were both very moved by how many people are on our side. And for those of you who emailed me personally, if I have not written you back, do not be offended. I heard from a lot of you and haven't had a chance to write back yet.
In the meantime, one of the things we talked about was that we needed to find something we liked to do as a couple. All of our hobbies involve, you know, not each other. Like that 28-year-old Brazilian diver I like to hang out with. I never invite Marvin along.
See. Now I can't make jokes like that cause you'll all be, "[Gasp!] June is having an affair with a 28-year-old Brazilian diver."
Okay, really? Is he a BLIND diver? Is he a Dumpster diver? Did I leave out the "1"? Is he a ONE HUNDRED and 28-year-old Brazilian diver?
Anyway. So Marvin thought the coming-up-with-a-mutual-hobby thing was a good idea, too.
"How about we train to climb Mt. Everest?" said Marvin, who is an idiot.
"Yeah, no," I said.
"We could get really into old cars," said Marvin, who is really into old cars.
"How about we raise a puppy together?" I asked.
So you can see how well that is going, with the compromise and the thinking of the other person and so forth. I really thought this would be an excellent time to angle for the new puppy. Maybe we could get a St. Bernard puppy, to help us with the climb up Mt. ridiculous Everest.
But one thing Marvin DID do in light of our recent trying to like each other attempts, was upload my hair video. I have been asking him to do this forever.
In 1992, I was living in Seattle with my friend Steve, who went to Costco one afternoon. When he returned, he popped in a video he had MADE at stupid Costco. For 15 dollars, you could select a bunch of ludicrous hairdos and they would make a video of you in said 'dos. Seeing as Steve was LOSING his hair, these hairstyles were particularly hilarious.
Naturally we hopped right in the car and headed back to Costco so I could also make a video.
It is the best $15 I ever spent. I cannot tell you how many times since 1992 I have made people watch this reeDUNKulous video (veedeo), with the hep record scratching music and my unlined 1992 forehead and the lovely tasteful hairstyles I picked out.
My friend Marianne used to REQUEST that we put the video in when she came over, so when we moved away from each other I had a copy made for her for her birthday. Because I'm a good friend like that.
So without further ado (get it?), please enjoy my hair video. And I don't care if you're at work. Crank up the music. Because everyone around you is gonna wanna back that arse up, and do some air-scratching of records.